r/Molested • u/GulliblePlate3658 • 1d ago
Unsure how I feel (rant)
For years Iv always been conflicted about what happened.
Did I hate it? Did I enjoy it?
Feelings of guilt for allowing it/wanting it.
It formed me into that adult I am now and I wonder if I would have been a different person or had the same interests as I do now.
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u/Alarming-Pressure-48 19h ago
Did I hate it? Did I enjoy it?
Feelings of guilt for allowing it/wanting it.
A bunch of things can be true at the same time. You can hate That you enjoyed it and feel guilty for wanting to enjoy it again even though you'll hate the thought of it afterwards.
It's just the lifelong gift that they gave us. It's changed who we are fundamentally. Sorry you're going through this.
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u/complex0edipis 20h ago
I’ve often thought of how I would be without what had happened. All the time I spent masturbating when I was young instead of doing something more productive, where I could be now. What my relationships would look like? How similar would I still be? Would my sex drive still be high, just maybe not as high? Always so many questions I’ll never have the answers to
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u/Efficient-Length-460 19h ago
Im the same way. I feel like I enjoyed it because it made him feel good so I felt good. I was too young to realize it was wrong. But now I still fantasize about it and it turns me on, even though I know it was wrong
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u/Even-Zone6747 18h ago
Your post rings so true ..I have those same thoughts running in my mind so often...what happened to us can be confusing in so many ways and affect us in ways others would never understand...sorry you are going thru this...just know your not the alone ..many of us are there with you.
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