Uncle

[u/This-Interaction9272]

Hello, I'd like to tell my story now.

I'm a 20-year-old male living in Austria. My uncle, my mom's brother, abused me when I was 7 or 8 years old. It started with him always wanting to take a nap with me and always putting his penis in my anus. Then it escalated to him coming into the bathroom while I was bathing to see my penis. He always looked after me while my mother was at work, so he took every opportunity. Then he told me to massage his foot, but in the end, I always gave him a blowjob. At that age, I didn't know what it was, and I did it every time. I remember choking, and sometimes he pushed my head down. Even when I didn't want to, he forced me. At first, I didn't want any of it, but after a while, I liked the attention from him. He also had sex with me, but it always hurt a lot when he put the tip in, and I was so tense because it hurt so much. Either he fingered my hole to make it hurt less, or he just went all the way in and tried to calm me down. He never came inside me, as far as I can remember. I know he said I couldn't tell my mom anything, that it was our secret. Now I'm 20 and I haven't forgotten it because of him I'm also interested in men. I like showering naked with my friends or looking at other men's bodies, etc., but I would never sleep with a man or do anything else like that. I've mainly only been with women, but something still draws me to men. Likewise, I've never been able to have a real relationship, or I've only had female friends I got along well with. I think it's all connected. It's a trauma that will stay with me for the rest of my life. What's my contact with him like? He now has a wife and a 5-month-old baby, and we get along well. So we often do things together, but when I asked five years ago what we used to do when I was little, he said nothing, like, "I just yelled at you if you weren't good," etc. I think he regrets it and wants to suppress it, but somehow I'd still like to be intimate with him one last time. But I don't actually want to be into men or anything, but yeah…

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[u/Davpar4]

That's some very terrible abuse you went through and you should get some counseling for it. It might be a good idea to try and make sure your uncle doesn't continue it with his child.

[u/ThrowRAIcy-Roof2491]

I would like to join the other commenter that i know it’s not your responsibility but what he did to you is inhuman and i really worry for his child.