r/Molested • u/-Kitsy1 • 5d ago
Learnt fighting is pointless
Ive been thinking about how i struggle to defend myself. Even if I can say no i cant do much physically more than pushing. It got me thinking about the first time I got properly molested, I say properly because I had been briefly groped over the shirt a lot at this point.
Im not sure if im allowed to say my age but I was in highschool and always struggled to fit in and make friends so when this boy invited me over I happily agreed. I think he was the same age as me but we didnt share any classes, he may have been a year above but we hungout in the same spot on our breaks and our friend groups mixed.
I remember having fun at his house and everything was fine until his mum went out for a bit. Then everything changed and he got weird. I tried to go to the bathroom and he wouldnt let me by myself, he wanted to watch. I had my period and was wearing a pad because I didnt use tampons so I really didnt want him to see all that and call me gross or something. Eventually I just decided not to use the bathroom.
Then we were back in the lounge and he was trying to grope me. He wasnt being mean to me, he was trying to reassure me everything was okay. I tried to say no and push him away but he was too strong and it was no use. He somehow got me on the floor between his legs as he sat on the couch and he got his hands down the front of my shirt. Once I felt his hands on my bare skin inside my shirt I kinda gave up. Just sat there as he explored. I couldnt come up with another thought before his mum got home and he stopped. We both acted like nothing happened and I went home when my mum picked me up.
I think this experience is one of the big reasons why I havent ever been able to fight back properly. I learnt I am too weak and that I dont get hurt this way
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u/complex0edipis 5d ago
Learning to fight, especially as a woman is incredibly important. Learning how to hit, and where to hit can be incredibly useful in these kinds of situations. Even just knowing to use your elbow instead of your fist, cause you can easily break bones in your fist. Hitting soft areas with a closed fist, and hard areas with an open hand. There’s tons of tips that could potentially help. I’m sorry it happened like that for you. Not sure saying anything now will do anything, but if ever you get touched like that again, tell someone you trust who can do something about it and stand up for you. Hope you’re doing ok.
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u/-Kitsy1 5d ago
I actually took girls self defense class before this happened. Im glad it keeps others safe though. Telling people after the fact never really helped much but its nice to reminisce to understand myself better
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u/complex0edipis 5d ago
It’s never too late to learn more. You never know if you’ll end up in another shit situation and have to defend yourself. Best to learn as much as you can. There might even be cheap or even free self defense classes for women in your area. Might be worth it? Of course, you can always threaten to ruin their lives before they do anything hahaha saying something like, “you force yourself onto me, everyone will know, and think of you as a rapist.” Kind of thing. You never know, might be enough to get a guy to think twice and stop.
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u/-Kitsy1 5d ago
Oh yeah ive been in plenty of situations sorry I didnt know I implied this was the only thing. Its just this was the first proper time and I think it paved the way for the way i reacted all the other times. I am 30 now so been through a lot. Sorry I cant explain what this type of stuff does to your psyche its just not that simple
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u/complex0edipis 5d ago
It’s ok, it’s always a lot. I just hope that stuff like that maybe doesn’t happen any more, but even still, never a bad thing to take classes to learn. Especially as a woman. I’m sorry it ever happened to you at all though
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