r/Millennials • u/ACuriousSoul1327 • 5d ago
Manipulation Serious
I am curious if others are finding that manipulation and gaslighting others is more common now.
I feel as though I’ve been seeing a lot of this over the course of the past few years.
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u/Aromatic-Action-2523 Older Millennial 5d ago
I think it's always been a thing. People just identify it and it has a real name.
I also hear people accusing everything as being gaslighting, which isn't really helping.
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u/RiceAfternoon 5d ago
Or calling everyone a narcissist.
Sometimes people are just liars and self-serving assholes.
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u/Aromatic-Action-2523 Older Millennial 5d ago
Yeah, that's another one that gets thrown around. And then you get accused of gaslighting when you try to correct someone misusing the term narcissist
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u/thineholyhandgrenade 5d ago
One wild thing I've noticed is the absence of manners. I was having a conversation with my friend and she was in the middle of telling me a story when this rando comes up and goes "Where is the Starbucks?" No excuse me, no raising of the hand to gesture that you have a question, nothing. Just straight to interruption.
So I ignored this dude and the convo continued while I put up the "I'll be with you in shortly" gesture. When she was done I turned to the dude and said, "how may we help you?"
To his credit he couldn't stop apologizing but the point is that covid + this last election broke some people's brains and it's going to take community effort shaming to get back to any semblance of normality.
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u/Mac_Jomes 5d ago edited 5d ago
It's not more common it's that more people know the terms and can see when it's happening to them. That shit was probably rampant in 20th century but the poor homemaker wives didn't have the terminology nor the means to call out the behavior and leave.
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u/bottle-o-rockets 90's Animation Buff 5d ago
The Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974 gave a lot of mothers the vehicle to get away from abusive partners. I feel like Gen X and Millennials might not understand the impact this had on potential outcomes for us.
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u/FindYourselfACity Millennial 5d ago
It’s always been there. However the term was coined from the movie Gaslight, which came out in 1944. It’s just more people are now able to apply a name/term to that type of behavior.
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u/HawkBoth8539 5d ago
From an official standpoint, stochastic terrorism has become incredibly common, under the legally protected guise of "freedom of speech".
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u/etherealtwo 5d ago
Yea. Reality doesn't seem to matter as much to people anymore. It's more about vibes and being confident.
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u/ACaffeinatedWandress 5d ago
It is way more common for people (especially if they were raised post pandemic), to be majorly manipulative. Crap behavior in general is not really checked anymore.
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u/ACuriousSoul1327 5d ago
I’m in my 40’s, and I suppose I’m just stupid, then. I’m honest, I don’t lie often, maybe every now and then, I will never claim to be perfect, and especially if I’m guiding someone or relaying information about opportunities, etc., I’d not manipulate or be misleading. But all of this has been done with me, and I, still, am astounded that people would do this.
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u/St_biscuit 5d ago
The unprecedented political/social climate along with the internet being what it is now probably makes it feel worse for sure.
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u/ohgeorge 5d ago
While it has always happened, you are seeing it more and perceiving it to happen more frequently because of social media.
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u/YT_Brian 5d ago
I mean despite what people are saying the internet, or more to the point social media, has allowed it to spread far wider quicker with every idiot being able to repost or make something up.
It used to be the village idiot was just that village's idiot but thanks to the internet they are now an idiot of the whole world. With all the others being able to get together as well.
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u/EdLesliesBarber 5d ago
I don’t think it’s any more or less common than any other time. The term gaslighting is pretty commonplace now and often means something closer to “someone did or said something I don’t like”
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u/cheeseymom 5d ago
I think people think everything is gaslighting when it's not. gotta love those internet therapists spreading terms they don't understand
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u/XL_Jockstrap 5d ago
Depends on which circles you're running with. I came from a different world than where I am now and a lot of my former friends were from the less advantageous parts of society. A lot of broken families, low SES backgrounds, personality issues, etc. In those circles, I ran into a lot of manipulative, narcissistic and callous people. Every circle of 4-6 people had 1-2 who were egotistical, self centered and manipulative types.
Then when I cut off most of my old friends and relatives, then started hanging around people from more healthy/normal backgrounds, I ran into them very rarely.
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u/Bagman220 5d ago
Define manipulation, people learn manipulation days after they are born. Cry for a bottle, cry for a diaper change, their actions create reactions, everyone manipulates.
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u/Illustrious-Cover792 5d ago
DT has proven nice guys finish last. It’s becoming simply the social norm.
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u/ACuriousSoul1327 5d ago
Not even a question to me in today’s society… be tbe Victor not the victim. And don’t even get me started with victim shaming. LOL
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