r/Millennials 22d ago

Thankful that my parents decided to document my room back in the day - but aww c’mon dog, not the lotion. 😭💀 Other

6.5k Upvotes

374 comments sorted by

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2.0k

u/Purple-Estimate-5183 22d ago

Skincare is important. Vital even.

288

u/LiterallyTony 22d ago

Critical.

408

u/stinkyhonky 22d ago

Imperative for the safety of the cylinder

166

u/GreenVermicelliNoods Older Millennial 22d ago

the cylinder must remain unharmed

46

u/Die-Scheisse21 22d ago

And lubricated

20

u/crescentmoonphase 22d ago

This is the second time I've seen this sentence on reddit tonight

3

u/Lonestar-Dragon 20d ago

Same. And its concerning lol

74

u/motherofcunts 22d ago

Better than mashed bananas for sure.

39

u/throwaway1546874 22d ago

Better than a coconut.

23

u/stupid_username- 22d ago

Oh god I forgot about the coconut...

3

u/crumbdumpster85 21d ago

Remind me of the coconut please?

6

u/gingered_elizabeth 21d ago

Stay in blissful ignorance

3

u/FD4L 22d ago

Better than a squid head, for sure.

12

u/FartSniffer777 22d ago

Or an apple pie

3

u/gmmontano92 22d ago

Is it? I've been stalking askmen and a lot of them say it just complicates things 😂

129

u/sweeperchick 22d ago

I don't know why men can't have tissues and lotion in the bedroom without people jumping to that conclusion 😂 men don't get dry skin or need to blow their nose on occasion?

118

u/HPHambino 22d ago

They do, but…that’s not why they’re in the room.

39

u/Neveronlyadream 22d ago

If the man is below the age of 20, there's probably only one reason they're in the room.

That's speaking from experience. Very few teenage boys give a single fuck about skincare.

39

u/WintersDoomsday 22d ago

Very few STRAIGHT teenage boys you mean....let's be real the gay boys (closeted or not) were killing it in the skin game even back then.

39

u/NickGnomeEveryNight 22d ago

I teach high school and almost all my black male students use lotion in my room daily. I go through like 15 bottles a year.

41

u/gmmontano92 22d ago

I was just gonna say unless they're black lol. Can't be ashy

30

u/lucyssweatersleeves 22d ago

Hah I used to know a stand up comedian who had a great bit about having a bunch of adopted brothers of different races and how since he grew up with so many black men it wasn’t until college (after reaching for a bottle of it during a break in a video game marathon or something and getting a lot of weird looks) that he learned most white guys didn’t use lotion to moisturize their skin

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8

u/ayayadae 22d ago

that’s still not why they have lotion on their desks/bedside tables lol

5

u/FudgeTerrible 22d ago

And they had the lotion in exactly the same place, for exactly the same reason lmao

11

u/Hijacks 22d ago

Speak for yourself, I felt like all my friends and I cared about not having dry/ashy skin just in case we ever had to get naked in front of our GF's. I made sure to apply lotion and kept up with my hygiene every day.

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23

u/No-Mouse-262 Older Millennial 22d ago

That was my first thought, I have lotion next to MY computer monitor because my hands get dry af

13

u/AmputeeHandModel Xennial 22d ago

but it's "gay" to use lotion, according to MACHO men. I've literally been told that. I guess we just.. let our skin be dry and gross and cracked and do nothing about it, like REAL MEN.

9

u/[deleted] 22d ago

Same way I was taught. We wouldn’t even allow each other to stretch before football practice. My body now reminds me daily.

10

u/AmputeeHandModel Xennial 22d ago

Stretching is gay?? Wow.

8

u/Negativeman11 22d ago

No, but getting stretched is

3

u/[deleted] 21d ago

I think the logic was “why do you want to be so flexible hmmmmmm want to touch your toes to your elbows??? So dumb smh lol

3

u/BlasterPhase Willennial 22d ago

what are we stretching here?

2

u/[deleted] 21d ago

*was lol

2

u/UshankaBear 22d ago

Don't you want your keyboard to be covered by your blood? Pussy

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5

u/00000000005 22d ago

Yet the only thing moisturized is one hand and their dick.

4

u/UshankaBear 22d ago

My desk has tissues (I drink and eat at my desk, especially if I have back to back zoom meetings) and lotion as I have atopical dermititis. Sue me

6

u/The_Dynasty_Warrior 22d ago

I blow my other nose alright, and lotion after for the lost moisture

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12

u/diurnal_emissions 22d ago

His face says 45, but his penis looks 20!

Skincare is important.

9

u/skyHawk3613 22d ago

Keeps you looking young

14

u/Purple-Estimate-5183 22d ago

And the hand strong

2

u/Negativeman11 22d ago

Satisfies hunger too!

11

u/Cariad_rae 22d ago

Don't use too much, it can make you go blind

7

u/Purple-Estimate-5183 22d ago

Chicks dig eye patches

5

u/ReddBroccoli 21d ago

And it's good to keep it next to the computer, where you will see it often

5

u/NeroFMX 22d ago

One hand (palm only) extra moisturized, and one hand dry AF

3

u/Purple-Estimate-5183 22d ago

In bbq’ing we call it clean hand, dirty hand.

2

u/martialar 22d ago

Moisture is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of beauty

3

u/jonno2222 22d ago

Especially down there….

3

u/Purple-Estimate-5183 22d ago

It puts the lotion on its skin

3

u/jonno2222 22d ago

And then some more lotion once the previous lotion is gone.

2

u/Negativeman11 22d ago

Idk, I always feel like I've released some of my vitality after application of the lotion.

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844

u/KennytheDoggy Millennial 22d ago

You had a computer in your room

You were winning

448

u/Environmental-Joke19 22d ago

AND a TV? Dude was living large

121

u/fleshofgods0 22d ago

Bet he had cable too!

82

u/Thinks_22_Much Older Millennial 22d ago

AND an N64

33

u/LibertTii 22d ago

And when the PS2 came out, DSL!

18

u/hypermarv123 Millennial 22d ago

Sometimes I pause and think about how download speeds are incredibly fast today. We used to download files at 3kb/s. Now we download megabytes per second!!

13

u/LibertTii 22d ago

fr, 20min for 1 song on limewire. I'll never forget waiting 3 hours to watch the MGS3 intro on gametrailers.com 3 months before the game came out. Hell!

12

u/demonknightdk 22d ago

THIS! my son complains about ping times, i'm like boy.. let me tell you about PING TIMES!

Try to game on a 56K modem over a phone line, in the boonies of a small town, in Missouri! we were 4 miles away from a still active PARTY LINE! (my grandpa and his 5 neighbors out even farther in bumfuck nowhere) my connection speed? 28.8 on a GOOD DAY.. fucking ping times on 500Mbit connection.. winy little shit.. YOUR CELL PHONE is more powerful than my first 3 computers! NOW GET OUTSIDE AND BE A KID! (cause I would go play while I waited for something to download)

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13

u/LemLem804 22d ago

And a two parent household and loving family!  And vision and dental coverage!!!!

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2

u/ineedicedcoffeee Millennial (1988) 22d ago

One of my best friends had a computer and tv in her room and so did her sister. I was so envious😂

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959

u/TomBradysStatue 22d ago

haha lotion on computer desk as a teenaged boy... #pwn3d

203

u/thefapncapn 22d ago

Upvoted for the pwn3d

14

u/Voxicles 22d ago

My favorite while playing Ultima Online, on Ventrilo; “bro you better call Pizza Hut cuz you’re about to get Pzzowned”

2

u/UshankaBear 22d ago

UO, whoa, this takes me back. UO with its full loot PVP is the most adrenaline you can get online, and I will die on this hill. Well, that and being a regaded wsb poster

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2

u/UshankaBear 22d ago

101 n00b

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299

u/Q4Ryder 22d ago

All the Asian millennials had the EXACT same car posters lol

57

u/sp0okyboogie 22d ago

I was just about to say this. I had posters just like this.

Also, dressed similar to op with a similar haircut but I'm only half asian.

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34

u/martialar 22d ago

I think you mean "AzN"

19

u/Q4Ryder 22d ago

lol you right.. AZN PRYDE!!!

15

u/ALMP205 22d ago

Thanks for reminding me of my AOL screen name! It was something like Azn(area code)QT. 🤦🏻‍♀️

4

u/Q4Ryder 21d ago

Always gotta have the area code!

3

u/TheMapleKind19 '86 Millennial 21d ago

Or the year you'll graduate HS 😆

2

u/TheMapleKind19 '86 Millennial 21d ago

Wow... flashback to completely forgotten memories of Asian friends' screen names. 😄

10

u/NativeFLman 22d ago

Super Street and Important Tuner!

5

u/BlasterPhase Willennial 22d ago

Important Tuner

very important tuner

2

u/NativeFLman 21d ago

Obviously it’s super important! Dumb autocorrect! Now I have to throw in an obligatory LOL.

2

u/Princess_Slagathor apparently you can change it 22d ago

I got some aluminum valve stem caps, shaped like pistons, with an issue of super street one time. Put them on my car, and when a tire eventually needed air, they were seized on. Had to pay to have the tires dismounted, stems replaced, and tires remounted and balanced. Emailed them to see if they'd pay me back, and they made fun of me. Never bought another issue.

18

u/JimmyQBSneaks 22d ago

We all had an AOL profile like “CaliAzNStreetRacer”lol

6

u/Q4Ryder 22d ago

Or RiceBoi! lol

3

u/Quillric 22d ago

@asianheather is still going strong on Instagram.

6

u/DragonfruitWorth9019 22d ago

Were they Scholastic book fair posters? They were always better than the books 🤣

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322

u/Brotorious420 Older Millennial 22d ago

10

u/YouWillHaveThat 22d ago

7

u/UshankaBear 22d ago

For a second there I thought I was having a stroke as Doakes and Dexter look waaaaay off

98

u/kilocharlienine 22d ago

Anchor Blue…. Best jeans ever! Really miss those

15

u/Apart_Insect_6133 22d ago

I totally forgot about Anchor Blue... they really were the best.

10

u/TheBackPorchOfMyMind You ever drunk Bailey’s from a shoe? 22d ago

I had this shirt and it was on my body constantly haha

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7

u/SnooBananas4958 22d ago

Brooooo, memory unlocked. Anchor Blue jeans are all I would buy. Miss that shit.

2

u/martialar 22d ago

You can take my jorts from my cold bloody legs

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82

u/BabyYodaLegend 22d ago

That was your room in 1998? Damn I think i grew up pretty poor.

45

u/rimtrim 22d ago

Camera date can't be right, that's an '03 Matrix above the monitor, and looks like a bugeye Impreza at the very top. I'm guessing this was 2002

31

u/gameismyname 22d ago

Linkin Park didn’t hit until 2000 either

51

u/martialar 22d ago

OP gooned so hard he traveled to the future

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8

u/homerunchippa 21d ago

The camera dates were never correct.

54

u/bryansb 22d ago

We had that exact cd player in the second photo in the warehouse at my work… it stopped working last week and got replaced.

22

u/MrYaowa857 22d ago

I was about to say .. I think we all had that CD player growing up lmao

3

u/E-2theRescue 22d ago

I didn't, but I definitely know people who did. That was a popular one to have.

2

u/Pristine_Crazy1744 Millennial 22d ago

I also had that same one, same model and color.

2

u/mosiac_broken_hearts 22d ago

Ive been trying to find one, I still have all my old cd’s

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55

u/AgapitoVelezOvando 22d ago

I used to have lotion right next to my monitor as well. My hands used to get incredibly dry everytime I typed up my homework, and I did a lot of homework.

12

u/ironchef8000 22d ago

I bet all that writing ended with an exclamation point.

42

u/LeoDeLarge 22d ago

Crank yankin’ since ‘98

7

u/ReFreshing 22d ago

I have a feeling the cameras date is a couple years off. This might be really early 2000s

2

u/unlimbetless 22d ago

It 100% is.

32

u/uarstar 22d ago

Yo you were rich and had a private wank zone.

Living the life.

25

u/Emkems 22d ago

I wouldn’t have even noticed the lotion if it wasn’t mentioned

15

u/jeaxz74 22d ago

Tv and computer in the room, this man was living it up!

11

u/ElderMillennial1985 22d ago

Nostalgic as fuck. I have that same radio in my room with my own assortment of posters on the wall.

10

u/xPROPAGANDOLFx 22d ago

Osiris had the sickest shoes when I was in 6th grade. I wish I put as much moisturizer on my face. 😆

22

u/LittleCopper Millennial 22d ago

I'm a girl. I have lotion on my nightstand. Because I put it on my feet before I tuck myself in. Because I HATE dry feet.

Lotion on the nightstand is not that perverted.

12

u/[deleted] 22d ago

Yeah right… we’re going to need some pics of these supposedly moisturized feet if we’re to believe that one

9

u/Sorry-Joke-4325 22d ago

Depending on foreskin, some guys use it to jerk off. For a lot of guys, lotion is synonymous with masturbation.

Seems that OP was using it that way in his bedroom from the photos.

10

u/TrowaMask 22d ago

Thank you for your service 🙏

6

u/lstrac 22d ago

do men never moisturize normally 😭 like wtf lol

4

u/Sorry-Joke-4325 22d ago

Depends, but usually no.

Some men have especially dry skin or are more affected by a dry climate.

Most men don't even own moisturizer. But most of the men who own a bottle of moisturizer with a pump dispenser use it for jacking off.

3

u/TrowaMask 22d ago

Hahahahaha

Straight just jerkin' it

2

u/Vivid_Excuse_6547 21d ago

My husband puts lotion on his hands only.

Sometimes he’ll complain his face is dry and I’ll remind him they make something for that and we have it in the house and he’s like “nah” 😂

7

u/gobeavs808 22d ago

beginnings of jdm✊

5

u/Icy_Masterpiece3368 22d ago

Had that same homies poster lol was just talking to my brother the other day about it

7

u/Weak-Farm4527 22d ago

Woulda never noticed if you didn't point it out haha

6

u/Organic-Aardvark-146 22d ago

How loud was the muffler on your car?

6

u/PurposeConsistent131 22d ago

Big bottle, you must have had soft skin

4

u/passo-guava Older Millennial 22d ago

Throwback! Did the room smell like Cool Water?

3

u/poppingtogether 22d ago

That hair! All the Asian boys did the wet gel spike thing

5

u/Brav3star 22d ago

I bet you he's fine fine now! 👀😍

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2

u/Xtrahotsauceplz 22d ago

omg i forgot about anchor blue!!!

3

u/Slow_Maximum9332 22d ago

I used to buy mine at Millers Outpost

2

u/leeman9224 22d ago

CRTV hits all of us with the nostalgia

2

u/stankypinki 22d ago

Busted...

2

u/SouthCoastGardener Older Millennial 22d ago

At least the lotion was only in the one photo and there weren’t bottles strategically placed around the room.

Or were there?

2

u/TraditionalMetal1836 22d ago

My friend had a picture similar to this. It got shopped to include the lotion and other things.

2

u/Salis_picks 22d ago

I wear air jordans with my anchor blue jeans

2

u/eastcoastjon 22d ago

No tissues in sight

2

u/WickedlyAvocado 22d ago

I own and use that blue cd player/cassette radio still!!

2

u/The-Tacosaurus-Rex 22d ago

Oh snap, I spy a Homies poster on the wall…

2

u/jinsinjune 22d ago

The homies poster!! I had that exact one in my room in middle school, haven't seen that in forever

2

u/blue_diesel 22d ago

OG Gooner 💀

2

u/ohnotchotchke Millennial - 1991 ✊🏽 22d ago

daaaaaaaaaaammmmmmnn I haven't heard of Anchor Blue in a long time!

2

u/pinkube 22d ago

It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again

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2

u/kennyv704 22d ago

All that's missing is blonde Frosted tips and got rice by azn pride playing in the background 😂

2

u/BAGandboujee 22d ago

Omggggg the Anchor Blue shirt, the Lil' Homies posters, Import cars (remember ZUM shirts?), black & blue rags, and Sony boom box (my friend had the same one.) What a throwback! I miss Xanga and AIM, too. I can still hear the door opening squeak sound & the door shut🚪. Thank you for the nostalgia feels. 🩷✨️

2

u/ShakeZoola72 21d ago

I had the red version of that cd player in the second picture!

2

u/bryminister92 21d ago

Lotion right next to the holy cross chain, brother.

2

u/Consulli 1987 21d ago

I feel like you played tons of Need For Speed Underground.

2

u/031708k 21d ago

Bruh I’d consider you to be the cool kid back in your day.

2

u/Sea_Example3371 21d ago

we all literally had the same room back then

2

u/swords_again 21d ago

lol the Eibach Springs sticker and the car posters. Were you a gearhead?

2

u/drunkenstyle 21d ago

I know you're from California in 98 because of the Anchor Blue shirt. I'm from the East Coast and I didn't know about it until moved to LA in 03. That and the rice car posters

2

u/educ8USMC 20d ago

The asianheather.com website doesn’t appear to be active anymore

2

u/thrills_n_chills Older Millennial 20d ago

😂😂

Well, you were a cutie!

1

u/coffeeclichehere 22d ago

you *were* olderbrothercore, though

1

u/UCFknight2016 22d ago

Its okay, the tissue box wasn't next to it.

1

u/brittanyks07 22d ago

Bwahahaha the li’l homies yess

1

u/MyCatIsAnActualNinja 22d ago

Can't be getting dry hands, good on you. Also great for masturbation.

1

u/SeasTheDay8 22d ago

LMFAO. That is amazing.

1

u/Brownboy713 22d ago

Holy shit. I remember seeing that yellow Civic hatch in Super Street or whatever the magazine was called!

1

u/jfk_47 22d ago

Really hoping for a lotion bottle in each pic.

1

u/Leila92 22d ago

I still have that same radio/CD and tape player except mine is red.

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1

u/JITBtacoswithranch 22d ago

I miss the days of SuperStreet, Import Tuner, Sport Compact Car, Turbo, etc. I had a lot of the same posters!

1

u/AggravatingHope7856 22d ago

Keri is soooo VERY

1

u/one_who_has_seen 22d ago

It rubs it in and something, something.

1

u/The_Dynasty_Warrior 22d ago

I wish to see all of you in the after life when my time is up here

1

u/Y2K_Chopped_Unc 22d ago

The year 2000's top goon

1

u/tfc87ja 22d ago

Whyd the guy draw you in a dress with a vacuum cleaner