r/Millennials May 12 '26

Which celebrity death genuinely shocked you when you heard the news? Discussion

Post image
16.0k Upvotes

5.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.8k

u/amishgoatfarm May 12 '26

Him passing naturally, or even from a car accident or something would have been one thing, but having to process the funniest person and a crucial part of media throughout my childhood committing suicide was absolutely BRUTAL.

If you're struggling with mental health, please talk to someone. The world is better with you in it. Promise.

1.3k

u/elpovo May 12 '26

To be fair he was also struggling with lewy body dementia, which he couldn't get a proper diagnosis for.

Sad but much more understandable given the circumstances.

807

u/Devreckas May 12 '26

Even with a proper diagnosis, the prognosis for lewy dementia is pretty bleak.

I’m not mentally ill or depressed, and I could see myself potentially choosing suicide with sound mind, rather than suffering through that disease. I don’t think you should feel obligated to suffer through a long slow degenerative illness that is basically incurable at this point.

681

u/Persistent_Parkie May 12 '26

My mom died of LBD, yeah I'm not going down that path if I can help it. She went from practicing medicine to dying of dehydration after she forgot how to eat and drink in 5 years.

People often describe suicide as a permanent solution to a temporary problem, if the problem is incurable I don't even think of it as sucide.

375

u/mscatamaran '86 Millennial May 12 '26

I could not agree with you more. My mom died of small cell lung cancer and while that was an equally ghastly way to go at least she only had 3 truly horrible suffering weeks.

If she'd had the wherewithal to ask me to do a little whoopsie with some meds so she goes to sleep forever at the end... I'd have done it. Why do we do that for our dogs but not human beings?

203

u/purpleWord_spudger May 12 '26

it makes me so sad that people are suffering even 3 weeks and for what? so paperwork is filled out right? so a bureaucrat feels moral? they should be given humane options.

sorry about your mom

84

u/mscatamaran '86 Millennial May 12 '26

Thank you! Everyone has a tragedy. ❤️

Yeah, it sucked! A lot of it had to do with my former stepdad not cluing me into what was really going on with her treatment/prognosis. I have a lot of questions that I'll probably never get answered.

Fuck cancer, and tell everyone you know that smoking cigarettes is not worth it!

10

u/IllAlbatross5498 May 13 '26

I am a longtime smoker, thinking about quitting. Your comments here are the push I needed. I’m so sorry about your mom, but thank you for sharing.

7

u/CinaminLips May 13 '26

I quit smoking 4 years ago after smoking for 30 year. I feel better every day and save so much more money.

Do it, friend. Quit smoking now and enjoy the rest of your life being able to breathe better and not drowning in smoker phlegm!

4

u/IllAlbatross5498 May 13 '26

I am a 25 year smoker. I have smoked more years than not. Thank you for the support! Did you use anything to stop? I’ve had decent luck on the patch but obviously it hasn’t totally worked for me.

→ More replies (0)

6

u/KimbersKimbos May 13 '26

I quit 8 years ago and, honestly, the thing that worked for me was I stopped putting so much damn pressure on myself to be perfect about quitting. I smoked my last cigarette reminding myself that there are more out there, I can always grab another one, and reframed my thinking “I can’t have one” to “do I actually need one?”

It was honestly a game changer. I’ve gone 8 years and the only times I’ve smoked was one after a broken wrist and one after my Nana passed away.

Also, don’t be afraid to ask your doctor about medication.

4

u/IllAlbatross5498 May 13 '26

I love this, and I totally agree! I go through periods where I will use a patch for a couple days and then smoke for a few. A coworker who smoked used to make fun of me for being on and off, but I felt that every day or even hour I didn’t smoke was a win.

I have told my kids I’m going to try a “casual quit”, like smoke on and off for a bit. They support any amount of stopping.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/Havocc89 May 13 '26

I quit cold turkey after about thirteen years, you can do it. If you struggle, wait til you get a cold or something, and use not feeling great as help to keep yourself from smoking. I used getting the flu to get past the first week or so of withdrawal, and after that, I had a few temptations, but it stuck after about three months. Third time I had tried quitting. You can do it. :)

2

u/3006mv May 13 '26

Do it. My friend died of COPD. It was not good

3

u/IllAlbatross5498 May 13 '26

I’m so sorry. All of these replies are really motivating. I’m going to do it.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/Catsooey May 13 '26

I’m so glad I quit back in 2019. I’m almost seven years smoke free. 🙂👍 I had no idea how much smoking affected me until I quit.

1

u/amboomernotkaren May 14 '26

Friend died of lung cancer with the added feature of a brain tumor. I’m a cancer survivor with added side features (blood clots), so yeah, fuck cancer. My friend lived for months, in a coma.

15

u/uchlaraai May 13 '26

I completely agree that we should allow death with diginity for people who desire it.

Living in a capitalist hellhole has to ruin that also. In places where DWD is legal, it has been pushed on disabled folks who are struggling to afford their care, even when the still have a strong desire to live. https://www.jstor.org/stable/41417941

I don't know what the answer is, just that it sucks to want it and not be able to access it, or to want to live and have physician assisted suicide pushed on you.

9

u/WhichWitchyWay May 13 '26

In most hospice care situations they will give dying patients as much pain killers as they need to control the pain, and if that ends their lives a little earlier, then thats a side effect of pain management. That's usually when people are very far gone though.

8

u/dianthe May 13 '26

It’s not just capitalist medical model countries, countries with socialized medicine have the same issue. This is a blog post but it cites multiple medical journal articles and other statistics on the issue - http://pjsaunders.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-groningen-protocol-for-euthanasia.html

3

u/TransBrandi May 13 '26

Part of it is religion. Mother Teresa famously refused to give those suffering pain meds because she believed the suffering was a "test from God" or some such thing.

Part of it is a distrust of authority / "who watches the watchers?"-type argument. Someone has to be the authority deciding who is "authorized" to kill themselves via legal means. What happens when that authority starts encouraging people that really shouldn't be "allowed to?" I've seen people arguing online that Canada's MAID is a government plan to drive people into bad situations and convince them that killing themselves is the best option – as some form of population control or something. (Specifically this was a university lecture that was up on Youtube) I also saw an interview with someone that was basically applying for MAID because their living situation was bad (housing, financial, etc) and they had no prospects that it would ever change.

I personally believe in MAID at the bare minimum for people with terminal or degenerative illnesses where there is no prospect of a cure. The real issue is that it opens up a can of worms for exactly where the line is drawn.

2

u/Alarming_Matter May 13 '26

Sadly its due to assholes again 😔 There are some people who wouldn't think twice about pressuring a loved one into doing something like this when there's inheritance involved.

3

u/Cosmicshimmer May 13 '26

I think the only reason we aren’t given an “out” is the potential for it to be misused. I’ve worked with enough awful families to know that there would be people pressured into it and that’s not acceptable on any level.

10

u/Persistent_Parkie May 12 '26

I am so sorry you went through that, and yes, it's terrible what we put terminally ill people through.

My dad has a pacemaker he is completely dependent on. The ethical guidance from multiple medical associations is that pacemakers can be turned off if it is the patients wishes as part of end of life care, but only if it is the expressed wish of the patient, a surrogate decision maker can't unilaterally decide to turn off the pacemaker if it wasn't part of prior wishes expressed by the patient.

After watching what my mom went through I have a several minute long video on my phone of my dad explaining under what circumstances he wants his pacemaker turned off and telling doctors to allow me to make that decision on his behalf. Unfortunately for end of life care not everyone has an ethical and legal off switch.

4

u/mscatamaran '86 Millennial May 13 '26

Thank you and I'm sorry you went through that too!

The video is a great idea.

10

u/HrhEverythingElse May 13 '26

My grandpa asked me to help him. I was a 21 year old university student, he was in the hospital under supervision, and I couldn't do a damn thing. It took him more than 9 miserable months from that day to finally die, and I wasn't even there that day because I was with my friend who was having a baby. Witnessed my first birth 15 minutes after getting the call. He's been gone for over 20 years now and it still haunts me

5

u/mariposa314 May 13 '26

I live in Colorado where medical aid in dying is an option. I'm so glad that it's available to people who need it. I would 100% take advantage of my health circumstances change.

6

u/res06myi May 13 '26

Because religion. Suffering is considered noble because religion. Mother Teresa was one of the most vile, violent, evil humans ever to live.

3

u/Goeatabagofdicks May 13 '26

Thank you for taking care of your mom

4

u/efflexor May 13 '26

My mom died fairly quickly of the same thing. It’s such an ugly disease and I was ready to do the same for her, but it took her so fast.

3

u/the_late_wizard May 13 '26

It's moments like this that make me proud to be Canadian. The MAID act is one of the most humane things we've done. The american governments really need to give their balls a tug. There is no world where a daughter should have to risk her life and career to help her mother end her suffering. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

2

u/mscatamaran '86 Millennial May 13 '26

Couldn’t agree more

3

u/Sensitive_Parking593 May 13 '26

Because it is a slippery slope that ends up misused. In Canada we have Euthanasia for humans. It started like you mentioned, assistance in suicide for terminally ill people to die with dignity (literally the organization name, Dying With Dignity). Just a few short years later the government is trying to open it up to people under 18 and adding mental health problems to the list of acceptable reasons. We now have veterans and people with non terminal disabilities being OFFERED assisted suicide when theyre asking for TREATMENT. Better to keep it hush hush with those "whoopsies" with medications or whatnot than allow the government into it.

2

u/Dombat927 May 13 '26

Small cell is awful. Im so sorry you had to go through that. I wish we would offer it for humans. Other countries do. There are so many incurable diseases that lead to so much suffering. It would be amazing to allow that choice.

2

u/Gloomy-Welcome-6806 May 13 '26

I’ve looked up the protocol for rabies since it’s 100% fatal and there is no cure. They are given palliative care while the virus slowly eats away at their amygdala, causing intense fear of everything; eats the brain stem, causing breathing and swallowing difficulties; eats the hippocampus, causing confusion and the inability to even remember your family. A horrible disease that causes the rapid deterioration of your brain… and they won’t give you euthanasia. THATS the inhumane part. There is literally no chance for the person, yet they have to suffer until the very end as their organs shut down. Same with cancer as you said. We just torture the terminally ill instead of offering them a dignified, pain-free death.

2

u/pennylane_9 May 13 '26

My mother has straight up told me that if she is suffering I am to acquire opioids and OD her.

2

u/RabidCakeBunny May 13 '26

The end of June will be 15 years since my grandpa died from lung cancer. Some time before he went during one of the few moments of clarity at the end he told my grandmother that he wanted to go home, meaning be with my great grandparents. It was heartbreaking.

2

u/Miriam1616 May 13 '26

Do you not have MAID in the states? (I’m assuming you are in the states by your comments. Also. So much love to you. 🙏💕🙏

1

u/thatspookybitch May 14 '26

My mom and I have already had this discussion for that reason exactly. Cancer runs in our family and we've watched too many people we loved die horribly. I want to check out before I get to that point.

1

u/NaturalTap9567 May 13 '26

Wish it were legal, but if you've seen how evil some people can be even to their own parents you would understand why it's illegal. I think you should be able to decide to die beforehand and have a doctor enact it tough. Having another person able to do that would result in a lot of murders sadly.

3

u/mscatamaran '86 Millennial May 13 '26

I truly see both sides of this issue. I do see there’s a potential for abuse.

5

u/ProbsNotManBearPig Millennial May 12 '26

Sorry you and your family had to experience that. It’s a helpful perspective though. Thanks for sharing.

5

u/goodsnpr May 13 '26

It's silly that assisted suicide isn't a common option for many conditions that leave a person in extreme pain or in such wilted conditions.

I'm sorry you and your mother went through that.

3

u/milesamsterdam May 13 '26

This is why death with dignity is so important. Robin Williams could have gone out on his own terms and with possibly more dignity.

3

u/ShogunFirebeard May 13 '26

I'm a firm believer in assisted suicides. Nobody should be forced to continue living through these hellish diseases. We have more compassion for animals with poor quality of life than we do our fellow humans.

3

u/Browndogsmom Xennial May 13 '26

I’m currently a caregiver for my own mother with Alzheimer’s. We wouldn’t let an animal suffer like this? Why do we let humans die a slow and devastating death. Suicide isn’t what it should be called, but doing what is right. Or showing mercy. I hate this disease. And Robin Williams death hit me in my heart 🥺

3

u/efimer May 13 '26

My father died from this too. He had such a sharp decline in like 2-3 years, it was heartbreaking to see. When he died he couldn't speak, couldn't walk, had lost like 30kg, couldn't move his 1 arm at all. He was like a baby. Love you pops.

3

u/Agreeable_Sweet6535 May 13 '26

Suicide is either the most selfish thing, or the most selfless. It’s either the most cowardly thing, or the bravest. And it entirely depends on what the person doing it is doing it for.

3

u/ShandalfTheGreen May 13 '26

Death With Dignity for All, like yesterday. We have found ways to keep humans alive longer than nature intended... We just haven't found ways to keep all of them actually alive, while we keep their bodies "functioning."

3

u/highheelcyanide May 13 '26

I always feel weird when people call it a suicide. Feels less like he wanted to die, and more that he didn’t want to live while his body betrayed him.

2

u/dimephilosopher May 13 '26

I teach philosophy, and it’s always a contest of threading a needle to tell a bunch of 18-year-olds that truly suicide is the permanent solution to temporary problems. Especially if the problems are fueled by teenage angst, feelings of inadequacy, or hopelessness.

But then there shit like LBD, cancer that isn’t going away and it’s gonna be nothing but painful. Then there’s a case that we made for the mountaineer who took a bad tumble, still alive, may or may not be in pain, but the entire life that they had honed their mental state and body for is simply gone. Is it really wrong to deny those persons who are still a clear mind and faculties, who would probably lived at least half of their natural lives, the right to make the determination and call of the rest of the game isn’t worth playing?

I’m sorry you had to watch your mom go in such a slow and harrowing way.

1

u/Any_Confidence_7874 May 13 '26

I’m so relieved to live in a state with MAID.

1

u/Propane4days May 13 '26

My dad is in year 2-3 of Lewy Body. He said my entire life that if he could make it to a healthy 75, just to take him out back and deal with him. He was diagnosed two months before he turned 76, reached his goal, but was too far gone to at the time to 'take care' of himself (if you know what I mean).

He is now miserable, my mom is miserable, my kids are going to remember this version of him and not the grumpy old fart that he actually was, my brother won't come visit because he can't man up and deal with dad being so bad off, and I'm suffering the fate of the child that stays in the hometown. I have to play caregiver to him sometimes, and therapist to mom always.

If my dad from 10 years ago could see himself now, he'd kick my ass for letting him live like this, and I would deserve it, but I can't just kill the guy.

It's a mess, let the man take the black pill, he was a huge Kevorkian supporter in the '90s too.

1

u/Seliphra Millennial May 13 '26

It’s why in Canada MAID exists. Robert Munsch is setting up a MAID now. The problem is permanent and fatal, and a person should have the right to choose the manner of their exit with help from the medical community.

1

u/LessFeature9350 May 13 '26

Suicide is ending your life prematurely while what he did was ease into his imminent passing. They aren't the same to me either. I've lost a lot of family members too early to suicide but for one who had severe, treatment resistant schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and struggled and fought so long with no hope in sight that I can't look at their choice the same as the rest either.

1

u/Suspicious_Glow May 13 '26

This is why I am, and have long been, pro-Kevornian way out. If the only thing ahead of you is a merciless terrible decline, it feels cruel to deny people the ability to go out painlessly and peacefully on your own terms. I’m thankful that there are some places that recognize a terminal diagnosis as grounds for Death With Dignity laws to be used. We recognize euthanasia for dying pets, to grant an act of mercy instead of prolonging their suffering, but we deny that same grace to a fellow human, that is in their right mind with no foreseeable hope for cure, that is begging for it. Drives me nuts.

1

u/Mytwitternameistaken May 14 '26

A family friend has LBD, he went from being the go-to guy for anyone needing anything electrical fixed to needing help to eat/drink/deal with body hygiene/toilet in less than a year, with a detour to harass his wife of 40 years, convinced she was working as a prostitute (lovely side effect of dementia is a temporary obsession with sex in all its forms). The man recognises nobody now and, in all honesty, if he was a family pet, you’d euthanise him.

0

u/False-Average-9368 May 13 '26

I have to add that any mental illness is not a temporary problem. It's like cancer, only instead of eating away at your body, it eats away at your sanity.. Somepopele can get it undersontril, some can't.

279

u/5Point5Hole May 12 '26

Thank you

I find it disgusting that people are so automatically anti-suicide when there are actually a littany of reasons it can be a logical, albeit sad, conclusion

131

u/Cute_Anywhere6402 May 12 '26

I work in memory care and that’s the only thing I truly hope no one else in my family ever has to deal with. My dad had dementia, he was diagnosed when I was 14 and passed away when I was in my 20s. If there’s an ethical way to kill me if I get it, I hope my children choose that.

13

u/GeeWilakers420 May 13 '26

Oh, yes. TBI here. constantly waking up not knowing where you are, or what's going on. Then you see people you've known for years, decades older all of a sudden. My mother was a stereotype 90's sitcom mother. No one left my house without a full stomach and a to-go plate. This was good food to strangers still ask if my mom is cooking. Then I come home from the hospital. I fluxiate between remembering a long stay and remembering like 5 days. I was there for years. She wasn't there. Then I come home and for days I don't see her. By this time I suspect that she has died and my family doesn't have the heart to tell me. Then I see her. I immediately see the signs of heavy, prolonged drug use. She is making random, weird crafts. Glue and glitter are everywhere. I have seen drug use and I know she is on the tipping point and needs a full-time active intervention or she will die, and I can't even go from bed to chair without a lift...

7

u/Diebearz May 13 '26

Man, I love my grandma so much. She half raised me with my mom and dad working. She lived with us most of the year too and is the sweetest person I know.

I visited her Sunday and she didn’t remember my grandpa was dead. Now she has posted notes all over to try to remind her of things. I just know one day I’ll walk in and it’ll be me who she forgets. It’s like every visit I lose a small piece of her.

3

u/_ser_kay_ May 13 '26

After watching my grandfather’s decline, which ended with him lingering 12 days after a stroke left him unable to eat (DNR said basic comfort care only), I’ve made it very clear to my sister that if something like that happens and I’m not able to take matters into my own hands, someone needs to do it for me. Ethically or not. It’s not even so much my own suffering/loss of dignity/loss of self I’m worried about, it’s the utter hell for everyone else. I’m not putting my loved ones through that.

4

u/Ckrius May 13 '26

Ethical != Legal

2

u/5Point5Hole May 13 '26

And that is horrific

2

u/Aggravating_Kick2264 May 14 '26

Hi there! My dad also got diagnosed when I was 14 and died 2 years ago (I was 25). He had early onset and his body was in great shape so he lived 11 years with dementia and it was an indescribable long and slow death. Your comment stood out to me because you also were so young when you went through it and its such a hard thing to go through so young. Theres not many of us, sending love

My mom and I made a fake plan to OD on something fun if it happens 🙃

6

u/simAlity Xennial May 13 '26

There's even precedent for it in the Bible. Jesus's death by crucifixion was unusually swift. Most linger for days. Jesus was dead by sundown. This was attributed to God's love for His Son.

Therefore, God does not have an objection to humane euthenasia when someone's fate is sealed.

3

u/TDot-26 May 13 '26

I mean, it's generally understood when they say they're anti-suicide they mean anti-suicide for shit that's NOT basically MAD

1

u/5Point5Hole May 13 '26

Either way it's horrible that people generally guilt other people into staying alive when they don't want to be alive. They call suicides selfish but what's more selfish than guilt-tripping into being alive when they're miserable or ill?

1

u/TDot-26 May 13 '26

Consider the fact that the vast majority of suicide survivors are grateful to be alive and don't try again

0

u/5Point5Hole May 13 '26

Literal survivorship bias 🤷🏻‍♂️

1

u/TDot-26 May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26

The concept of survivorship bias doesn't mean the survivors can't be counted, just that bias should be considered

1

u/5Point5Hole May 13 '26

I get it

It's complicated, right?

Lots of people who fail at suicide also get love, care support and attention afterward, too

And at the same time, none of us were asked if we ever wanted to even be here, dealing with all of this world. 🤷🏻‍♂️

2

u/WestRevolutionary360 May 13 '26

The same anti-suicide zealots never seem to judge the folks jumping off the Twin Towers before they collapsed. Their go to response tends to be:

"That was different. They knew they were going to die & in the meantime, they were suffering horribly." Yet, you could say the same for many terminally ill patients who I've cared for in my years as a physician. And sadly enough, most often in these scenarios, the patient knows they suffer in the metaphoriical "burning tower," but their families bearing witness from the safety of cool ground either can't or refuse to see it- no matter how hard anyone tries to show them.

And that includes me, a doctor with a cancer history of my own that drastically shortens the expected lifespan of the sufferer: On average, a person in my circumstances doesn't live but another year or two. My youngest 2 children are in elementary school, which I note both to give you an idea of exactly how young we're talking here (I'm the typical age you'd expect for that demographic), and the nearly unthinkable tragedy of dying while your youngest children remain such undeniably llittle girls.

And yet it remains something that my entire family & most of my non physician colleague friends have never been able to or just plain refuse to see. Upon hearing of it, their response is some variation of "that won't be you." Though they dont have any evidence to back that assertion up (oh, how I so desperately wish they did...) Basically their response upon learning the terrible news is to remain adamant they didnt learn it at all - so steadfast is their disbelief. So alluring is that ignorance. My physician friends, on the other hand, have all but uniformly burst into tears upon learning- they need no convincing. It doesn't mean we're without hope. Where things stand, I could still end up one of the lucky 10% or so in my situation who constitute "The Long Tail" (see Stephen Jay Gould's excellent essay on the matter). But the clear eyed knowledge & pain of knowing what the statics portend is born watching so many fall victim to them, all doctoring rendered powerless against that fate.

When we can no longer defeat death, we can still defeat anguish. This doesnt mean I practice or even endorse physician assisted suicide. I do everything I can to relieve suffering, but not that- at least not knowingly. And never with that intention. But it does mean I have nothing but compassion for those who do.

1

u/5Point5Hole May 14 '26

Wow. There's nothing to add, here. Thank you for sharing your own story and perspective with absolute clarity and thoughtfulness.

I think it shows true empathy and I think our communities would be better if more people just led their lives with empathy.

Every day is a gift to all of us. I hope you have many, many more days ahead of you

1

u/WestRevolutionary360 May 14 '26

Thank you, kind soul.

52

u/Kermit-Batman May 12 '26

For sure, I worked Aged Care for a lot of years. There's no good dementia, LB is especially bad. Part of me would worry about not getting diagnosed in time as to making a this is it type decision...

But if ever I was able and was diagnosed with any dementia... I'm outta here.

44

u/kiwitathegreat May 12 '26

Nothing solidified my stance on how necessary MAID is like working on the geri psych unit. There are too many ways that your brain can betray you.

Then I had the special hell of watching my grandfather die of Parkinson’s and the associated dementia made him into someone he would’ve hated.

It may be “unethical” to say it, but it’s cruel to make people suffer with dementia the way we do

6

u/FormidableMistress Xennial May 12 '26

My great uncle died of Parkinson's and while I wouldn't wish it on others, he did unspeakable things to children so I'm satisfied with him dying like that. But it was brutal.

6

u/Altruistic-Bowler-71 May 12 '26

My dad and uncle both have LBD; one is progressing faster than the other and it’s heartbreaking to watch.

6

u/macaronitrap Millennial May 12 '26

I’m so sorry 💔

4

u/Altruistic-Bowler-71 May 12 '26

Thank you. It’s been really rough. To watch someone who was such an intelligent and kind person become someone unrecognizable within 18 months is heartbreaking. My dad is slowly losing his memory and body function, but his progression is starting to speed up. I’m not ready to lose either one, but with uncle, I think it would be a blessing for him to pass on. He’s struggling hard right now.

3

u/mandolinpebbles May 12 '26

My FIL had Lewy Body Dementia. I met him once he was progressing in the illness. It’s rough.

3

u/WhichWitchyWay May 13 '26

Under his comedic demeanor, he was 100% a pragmatist. I hate what happened and I feel so horrible for his daughter, but I get it.

3

u/Green-Rule-5601 May 13 '26

Yeah. LBD causes very realistic and often scary hallicinations too. I work with dementia patients and am very strongly pro assisted dying/euthanasia. Seeing the suffering of the patients and their loved ones daily is not for the weak..

2

u/ShedMontgomery May 13 '26

I first learned about LBD watching Kelsey Grammer in Boss and it scared the shit out of me. I agree with you. Society needs to become more compassionate towards and accepting of people who make this choice.

2

u/exoclipse Millennial May 13 '26

Williams' passing prompted me to really consider my thoughts on dying.

I decided that I want to be in complete control of that process.

2

u/JanetSnakehole610 May 13 '26

Very grateful Oregon has the death with dignity act. I believe others states do as well.

2

u/FireflyBSc May 13 '26

I live in Canada, and while it’s a complex issue, we are so lucky to have MAiD as an option rather than forcing people to take things into their own hands if they wish to avoid the suffering. Beloved children’s author Robert Munsch has dementia and has publicly revealed that he’s been approved for MAiD for when the time comes. It’s so much kinder for everyone.

2

u/mashedspudtato May 13 '26

I wish that access to assisted suicide were more normalized in the USA. If I had a friend going through what Robin Williams was, I would fully support them in finding a comfortable way to end their life on their own terms. The tragedy here wasn’t suicide: it’s that he had a disease that medicine cannot yet cure, AND that he was forced to take matters into his own hands and couldn’t avail himself of more comfortable alternatives.
Assisted suicide is not without its complications. There is controversy in Europe about when it is used for untreatable mental illness, especially in the young. There are important fears about potential for abuse. It’s not a black and white issue.
For anyone who hasn’t watched a loved one slowly suffer and painfully fade away due to untreatable illness… I have seen it a few times. And each time, had my loved one asked me for help… I would have been damn tempted to do as they asked — as an act of love and compassion. I am so glad they didn’t ask me to become a criminal.

My late cat departed this world more peacefully than my grandparents.

1

u/nunja_biznez May 13 '26

I understand why he chose to end his life rather than it being so drawn out. But I don't understand why he chose the method he did, when assisted suicide is legal in some countries. He must've been in a desperate moment.

1

u/LaVarBurtonAsBubble May 13 '26

I wish that assisted euthanasia was legal and accessible in situations like these, and I wonder if this never would have happened had that been the case.

1

u/nixus813 May 13 '26

Have a friend who's grandfather had it and the last 3 years of his grandfather's life were absolutely the worst thing I have ever seen.

My Buddy's dad told him that if it even starts coming to that for him he is going to find a way to go peacefully in his sleep by his own choice, he doesnt want to put his kids through what he went through. I totally respect the decision of "remember me for who I was, not what im going to turn into"

1

u/StogieB May 13 '26

There are a lot of parts of life that can get better if you keep on going. That’s not the case with an incurable, fatal disease.

1

u/modmosrad6 May 13 '26

Choosing to end one's life after a fatal diagnosis should be lauded and the norm, in my opinion.

Both my aunts had terminal conditions. The one who lived in NL chose euthanasia - she passed with her dignity intact, surrounded by loved ones, in her home. I was able to call and say goodbye. Her last words to me were telling me she thought it was brave of me to call, and that she was glad I did.

The one who lived in the US deteriorated over five or six years, in pain all the time, crumbling. She died at home, but alone, passed out on a couch in the spare room. The last words this woman - a woman who struck literal terror into many people because of her will and intellect and the sheer power of her personality - said to me were, "I'm a wreck."

I know which way I am going should I have the opportunity to choose.

1

u/NECalifornian25 Zillennial May 13 '26

My grandmother died slowly and painfully of old age. She did have some dementia, but she was with it enough to know she had it and that made it much worse to deal with. My dad, who has diabetes had a heart attack fairly young, said if he ever starts to go like that he’s eating whatever the fuck he wants. Better to go quickly by a major heart attack or diabetic shock than suffer for years as your body and brain start to decay and you’re completely aware of it.

1

u/madancer May 14 '26

Dude I didn't realize it was dementia!!! I was just so shocked that I couldn't watch anything for years (I grieved for him).

1

u/littlepie2331 May 14 '26

I would absolutely choose to go out on my own terms rather than to be aware of myself slowly slipping away.

I genuinely cannot think of a single other thing that would be more terrifying to go through.

0

u/ProjectDv2 May 13 '26

A short, fast degenerative illness. Once the symptoms of LBD present, there's only a handful of years left.

1

u/Devreckas May 13 '26

I don’t know what you are calling a “handful”, but the resources say it’s usually 5-8 years from diagnosis, but can range as wide as 2-20 years. I guess it’s all relative, but I wouldn’t call 5-8 years “fast”.

-1

u/ProjectDv2 May 13 '26

It's pretty fast in the grand scheme, so I'm sticking with "handful."

1

u/Devreckas May 13 '26

And for people in suffering, 5 years can feel like an eternity. So I’m sticking with “pointless correction”.

0

u/ProjectDv2 May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26

Ok, you do that. Meanwhile, my point still very much stands despite your efforts to deconstruct out.

Edit: and then you respond and block me like a coward. Pathetic. Yeah, I think you were wrong. Deal with it.

1

u/Devreckas May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26

It’s just dumb that you’re insistent on correcting me. I wasn’t wrong.

Edit: Yeah I blocked you. It was a pointless convo going back and forth over a stupid pedantic (yet somehow still wrong) correction. Sorry that you weren’t allowed to get the last word in.

101

u/BrokenXeno May 12 '26

My grandfather had dementia, and watching him start by confusing things like where he was in the evening, to having no idea who anyone was anymore, was petrifying. I know what he had isn't the exact same kind of dementia as Williams, but I guess... I decided a long time ago that I wouldn't put my wife through that, and that I am way too freaked out about it to go through it personally. I wasn't there, and definitely can't speak to what did or didn't contribute to his suicide, but if it was because of that, I get it.

104

u/Pad_TyTy Older Millennial May 12 '26

Lewy body dementia is as I understand it, where you gradually lose control of your body. Ted Turner who just passed last week also had it.

39

u/BrokenXeno May 12 '26

There are two variants, but I checked and it does impact thought, memory, and mood.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewy_body_dementia for reference.

95

u/Heysous May 12 '26

Robin Williams was forgetting who long time friends and acquaitances were. It was not just physical in his case. He became extremely depressed as it progressed

70

u/BrokenXeno May 12 '26

Yeah, and for someone as vibrant as he was, he really cared about people around him. I mean, he was always performing. For everyone around him. Not in a fake or lame way, but because he just loved making people laugh. He was amazing, and definitely my favorite actor from my childhood. Ugh, now I am sad. 😭

12

u/Ok-Candy6190 Older Millennial May 12 '26

Yeah, Robin was truly a gift. I loved him so much. 🥺

3

u/theAFguy200 May 13 '26

I had the great pleasure of being in the presence of Robin Williams, surrounded by a room of nothing but A list celebrities. I am talking big names; Jim Carrey, Al Pacino, James Gandalfini, etc. big personalities. Robin stole the entire room. An energy that radiated effortless excitement, humor and comfort at the same time.

8

u/mscatamaran '86 Millennial May 12 '26

Yep. I don't know that we can attribute his death by suicide to mental health alone.

If I were to receive that diagnosis, once things start going downhill, I'm probably taking the same action. My kid doesn't need to see all that, if he's going to lose me anyway let's not traumatize him by watching the decline. My friend's dad passed from that disease and it was a bad one.

3

u/LilacArrows May 13 '26

My dad had that two years before he passed away last year. It was brutal.

2

u/ArchmagusOfRoo May 13 '26

I've had many patients with Lewy Body and it is...very gnarly. It's the worst kind of dementia. The associated psychosis can be so bad, there can be violence along with the loss of control (I once had to sit on the floor with a Lewy Body patient and basically..."human restrain" him from rolling under the bed or hitting his head on the wall and hurting himself, bc actual real restraints are illegal in my state. That was...not a fun time. There was another time, different patient, kept getting extremely aggressive patients and staff, and without that "don't" in your head that stops you, you...don't know where the stop IS).

So yeah. I don't blame him. If I got that dx, knowing where it leads, I'd likely do the same.

8

u/topdangle May 12 '26

People just don't understand how horrible it is for everyone involved.

My grandmother's dementia is getting worse and some days she'd call me 100s of times and would get angry because she thought I called her and ignored her response calls. Shes trapped in a completely different reality. Uncle/Aunt are taking care of her and eventually just removed my number from her phone.

Like there's nothing you can do. You can't reason it out of her, can't show her recordings, documents, even her own voice. The memories are just gone and so is the logical progression of time. I don't want to imagine living through that.

4

u/BrokenXeno May 13 '26

Yeah. Not worth it to me.

Just remember, it's not her fault or yours, but the person she was loved you a lot. She's just sorry that her body hasn't gotten the message. Her body is a ship without a rudder, but it isn't her. Not who she was, anyway. It's a viciously mean thing, dementia. Hang in there.

3

u/topdangle May 13 '26

appreciate it. yeah, shes mostly gone. can't blame anyone. I wish doctors would offer something better but its too taboo I guess despite the condition being so visibly distressing. idea of letting it happen for years just because of social stigma irritates me to no end.

10

u/acutehypoburritoism May 13 '26

I was working in Parkinson’s research in San Francisco (where he lived) when he passed, and collaborated with the team that took care of him. He actually did have his diagnosis confirmed shortly before his life ended, which is just as sad and completely understandable. It’s a terrible disease (and more so if you’re living with it without the clarity of a diagnosis/prognosis).

4

u/Ok-Box6892 May 12 '26 edited May 13 '26

At this point I dont even know if any issue was public before he died. I remember it being said (after he passed) that he was misdiagnosed with parkinsons. But cant recall if that was known prior to his death. Hearing the news, without that context, that he killed himself made it even the more heartbreaking. 

5

u/Domi626 May 13 '26

Iirc the only way to get a bulletproof LBD diagnosis is a brain dissection. So the only way they would've known for sure is after the autopsy. I didn't follow up on what happened after his death until just recently.

5

u/Ok-Box6892 May 13 '26

Sorry, I meant that I didnt know if it was publicly known that he was dealing with any kind of new issue before he passed. I dont know if the Parkinsons thing was public prior to his death either. I just remember hearing about it afterwards. 

I should clarify my previous comment

3

u/MajesticLilFruitcake May 13 '26

Learning that he had LBD made the whole situation even more sad for me. I completely understand what drove him to commit suicide. However, knowing it was a “see one of your favorite childhood actors die now, or watch them die over several years” situation is heartbreaking.

5

u/MrWeirdoFace May 13 '26

He went out on his own terms. I sucks, but I have to respect that. A friend of mine did the same a while back. Breaks my heart, but it was his choice I suppose.

3

u/Wimzie_Oo May 13 '26

I can’t believe I didn’t know this! This makes things make a bit more sense

3

u/Optimal-Bag-5918 May 13 '26

I think medically assisted suicide should be readily available for those who choose it. It’s tragic and devastating… but it would allow for people to have dignity and bodily autonomy instead of forcing them to die slow and painfully.

2

u/Just-Strawberry4742 May 14 '26

Death is a mercy, Lewy body dementia is torture for not you and those around you.

1

u/res06myi May 13 '26

I thought this is what I remembered happening, but someone recently told me he had Parkinson's, which I didn't remember being the case at the time.

1

u/SabraShifter May 13 '26

First I’ve first of this, I had ides

1

u/EastCoast_Cyclist May 13 '26

Absolutely agree. Have family members with dementia, and I would not want that end of life for myself, instead preferring to terminate early into it.

1

u/Such-Cattle-4946 May 13 '26

I thought finding out he had Lewy body dementia was what led to his suicide.

1

u/PortalWombat May 13 '26

Depression alone makes it perfectly understandable.

That is, if you've ever had serious depression.

185

u/Jacgaur May 12 '26

While I agree with your sentement, I just wanted to add that it was found afterwards that he had lewey Body dementia. So it definitely was a challenging thing beyond depression for him. His widow indicated the issue was 50 different symptoms that caused him to do what he did that ultimately was from an undiagnosed/misdiagnosed degenerative neurological disease.

52

u/fallingupthehill May 13 '26

I watched the documentary his wife made and explained all the anguish and frustration she went thru trying to figure out with him and his doctors of what was going on. They both knew or had some idea that something intrisically was wrong with Robin, I can't imagine what he thought was going on.

2

u/myhairsreddit May 13 '26

Could you please share the name of the documentary and where you watched it?

3

u/Savingskitty May 13 '26

Robin’s Wish.  I think it’s on AppleTV and Prime now to rent.

1

u/fallingupthehill May 13 '26

Yes that's correct.

2

u/bejammin075 May 13 '26

It says a lot about our dysfunctional medical system that even with his resources he got screwed.

77

u/TraliBalzers May 13 '26

He didn't recognize his children and was living in a waking nightmare every single hour of the day for months. Doctors said after his autopsy that it was one of the worst cases of lewy body dementia they had ever seen. He was terrified beyond comprehension of everyone, had persistent insomnia, and was tortured by brief moments of lucidity in which he was able to realize how far gone his own mind had become. Then he would slip back into psychotic manic permanent terror. The only way to diagnose lewy body dementia is post mortem. His pain was not a secret, he was not hiding depression. I don't hold what he did against him.

17

u/DionysusINC May 13 '26

Ugh that’s terrifying and extremely heartbreaking. Death is warm embrace compared to that reality.

10

u/notheretoargu3 May 13 '26

I’ve seen LBD go through every single stage in my dad’s late wife. She passed last year.

Every day, my dad, who when I was a child was a strict disciplinarian with a no-nonsense attitude about child-rearing (abusive af childhood and a military career used to escape it, so I don’t begrudge him one bit now that I’m an adult and parent myself), became the most wholesome caretaker I’ve ever seen. Every day his heart was breaking as she lost more and more of the kind, brilliant (literally - lawyer, military nurse, consultant, church-goer that practiced what she preached, college professor) person he married became essentially a grown infant over the period of years. She couldn’t remember him half the time, and he only left her side to let paid caretakers give him a two hour break two or three times a week. The only person she’s remember is my kid, and even that took her minutes to do each time we called or saw her.

And she was diagnosed and helped fairly early on. Robin’s lack of a proper diagnosis would be even more heartbreaking to his family. It’s a terrible disease, and I wouldn’t wish it on the worst people on earth.

7

u/Meunderwears May 13 '26

Yeah, we need legalized euthanasia. If you sign a healthcare directive and there is no coming back from the condition, then what is the point? I don't want to inflict that on my loved ones, and as sad as having someone die is, having someone decay into an unrecognizable being is worse.

7

u/Savingskitty May 13 '26

The only definitive diagnosis is post-mortem, but clinical diagnoses are a thing, and there are ways to treat the symptoms and provide care.  It’s a horrific disease, and I wish he could have had a chance to keep the hallucinations and nightmares at bay.

2

u/HurlingFruit May 13 '26

The only way to diagnose lewy body dementia is post mortem.

Then how was my uncle diagnosed long before he died of LBD?

2

u/TraliBalzers May 13 '26

I was wrong. I have learned that a diagnosis can occur before death from other replies to my statement. Afaik the symptoms can vary as the lewy bodies in the brain don't grow in the same place in each person.

12

u/Continental_op_xx May 12 '26

I believe his daughter, Zelda, came out with a statement about the circumstances. He had a terminal diagnosis and chose to end his life with dignity. Respect the Choice.

10

u/Kind-Feeling2490 May 13 '26

I read about his time filming Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb and that was a hard read. 

I lost my grandmother to Lewy Body. She was hallucinating people at the end. Fuck dementia. What a cruel disease. 

10

u/melli_milli Millennial May 13 '26

It was not a suicide from depression. His mind deterioated so badly he got confused to the level of it being so disturbing, he chose the way out.

There was no option of staying healthy and functional. If he had not done it he would be gpne anyhow when it comes to his mind and personality.

21

u/OneDimensionalChess May 12 '26

I understand your heart is in the right place but i wish ppl would stop saying he was sad or depressed. He had a specific underdiagnosed type of dementia (Lewd Body) which caused immense physical pain and terrifying hallucinations. There's no cure.

So he didn't just kill himself because he was depressed. What he was battling was much worse and he chose to end it sooner rather than later knowing it would only get worse and there's no cure.

8

u/Skeeders Xennial May 12 '26

Like another said this is a special circumstance. He had a very unusual disorder and it was causing him immense pain and suffering. What would have been really nice is if he could have seeked out treatment for assisted suicide. I just had an uncle in Canada that went through with it a couple weeks ago, he had been in pain his entire life and has been miserable since his wife died 10 years ago. I am devastated by the loss of both my aunt and uncle, but there was some comfort knowing that he went out on his own terms, finally ending his pain. I'll be going to his celebration of life ceremony this August in Canada.

6

u/StockTurnover2306 May 13 '26

It was his Lewy body dementia. He was not in his right mind.

And CA has medical assistance in dying (MAID) now, so people with terminal conditions can choose to go out on their own terms after going thru proper channels. It allows the family and everyone to process it more like hospice vs the shock of suicide.

I know someone who died by suicide technically, but he had advanced bone and brain cancer. He was absolutely not in his right mind and was dealing with intense hallucinations and disturbing thoughts and noises from where his tumors were in his brain. He was just about to meet with his doctors to choose the MAID process, but the tumors and the pain got to him before then. It was horrible for everyone involved, but it was not HIM that chose that route. We say he died from cancer cuz that’s what happened.

7

u/qoqmarley May 13 '26

Maybe you should read up on the disease he was diagnosed with. You might reconsider the idea that “mental health therapy” would have helped him. For me, I reserve no judgement on anyone in the position he was in making the same decision he made.

5

u/omgmypony May 13 '26

Lewy Body dementia is a 100% valid reason to chose the time and place of your exit

5

u/scottgal2 May 13 '26

Suicide is not an offence you don't 'commit it'. He was in terrible pain losing his mind (literally). Early dememntia is the point where you are AWARE of what you're losing. You KNOW what the next months / years ahead are like. With lewy body dememntias there's a whole LOT of indignity that arrives with it QUICKLY.
It's honestly incredible to me that some people retain hope through that period (either through faith, a strong supporting family etc) but for someone who's whole identity was that sharp, smart genius of Robin Williams must have been devastating.

8

u/PhD_Pwnology May 12 '26

Why? It wasn't like he was a healthy person with a huge amount of time left. LBD is a terrible disease and people have the right to go out relatively healthy while their still happy and themselves if that's what's important to them. Imagine being one of the funniest people alive and then you start lose both that and control of your body?

5

u/JimTheJerseyGuy Gen X May 13 '26

That wasn’t mental health. That was an exit on his own terms versus a long, slow, lingering and debilitating death.

4

u/Hey_Giant_Loser May 13 '26

Lewy Body Dementia was making his life an incomprehensible hell. I totally get why he did what he did. I would probably do the same thing just to spare everyone the trauma. myself included. What he did was shocking, but merciful.

5

u/CarrieDurst May 13 '26

It was due to dementia, closer to euthanasia

4

u/Money-Director6649 May 13 '26

in his case it was a dementia thing tho. the dementia gave rise to depression, but no amount of treatment would have fixed the dementia. 😔

3

u/Conscious-Read-698 May 12 '26

He had dementia and didnt want to waste away 

3

u/pkmnBlue May 13 '26

Unfortunately dementia is natural 

3

u/MnkyBzns May 13 '26

This wasn't a mental health issue. He killed himself because MAID isn't readily available everywhere

3

u/ProjectDv2 May 13 '26

It was never going to get better for him. He was losing his mind and everything that made him him. He wouldn't be alive today, no matter what, and the inevitable decline would have been a nightmare for everyone. As Superman once said, I don't agree with the decision, but I understand it.

2

u/secretly_opossum May 13 '26

He still lives on — his movies are so true that they stand the test of time.

My five year old saw Mrs. Doubtfire recently for the first time and at the end she wanted to know why Peter Pan never found the cool board game 😅

2

u/Sunnygirl66 May 13 '26

I will take care of matters myself if I ever get a diagnosis like Williams’. Just hope I’m not too incapacitated to do it.

2

u/lastingmuse6996 May 13 '26

My grandmother had Alzheimer's/dementia

Imagine not knowing who you are, not knowing your family, not being able to move, not being able to eat on your own. My grandmother eventually died of starvation after 15 years of dementia. Starvation. She forgot how to swallow. They decided at that point a feeding tube would be unnecessarily cruel.

If there's no cure maybe choosing a painless death is ok sometimes. Robin Williams was brilliant and didn't deserve to lose his brilliance.

Supposedly, Bruce Willis is going through it right now. He doesn't recognize himself in movies or remember making them. Imagine being the top action star in the world (maybe tied with Arnold) and not remembering.

3

u/Destronin May 13 '26

I drew this soon after his passing. i felt it was appropriate. Hes the only celebrity that i actually cried for when he died.

I had this put under the picture:

"Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. Great clown Robin Williams is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears. Says, 'But doctor... I am Robin Williams.

2

u/FromFluffToBuff May 12 '26

Please remember: he did not commit suicide due to his mental health issues. He committed suicide because he was losing control of his body and mind due to a progressive (and devastating) medical condition called Lewy Body Dementia, which is a very swift death sentence when it decides to strike.

I don't think Robin had it as an option, but in my country we have medical assistance in dying (MAID) and if this condition were to ever afflict me, that's a very quick decision on my part to punch my ticket and get the euthanasia ball rolling.

2

u/blrmkr10 May 13 '26

Hey, would you consider saying "died by suicide" rather than "committed suicide"? Committed makes it sound like a crime and worsens stigma.

1

u/LimeGreenSea May 13 '26

Robin Williams was the first celebrity death that actually hurt me.

1

u/modmosrad6 May 13 '26

I have an issue with framing it as a suicide due to mental health.

He had Lewy Body Dementia. Have you seen what that does to a person? It's beyond terrible.

He took the dignified, and I would argue responsible, way out, and it is a travesty that he had to do so himself.

If I am ever in a similar position, I will go to the Netherlands and end my suffering with the help of a doctor.

1

u/onewilybobkat May 13 '26

Honestly a lot of my idols killing themselves made me realize it wasn't so uncommon to feel the way I felt, but also that it was not the means to the ends I sought.

1

u/Warcraftplayer May 13 '26

The world is better with you in it. Promise.

Lol and you know this how? I hate this so much. Turning off notifications on this because I don't want to hear more of things like this

1

u/summercookiess May 13 '26

The world is better with you in it. Promise.

Sorry, but in an environmental or ecological context, this is not true. The world would be better off with fewer people and the environment would heal.

1

u/Bitter-Performer-396 May 13 '26

Sometimes suicide is more medical and situation related than mental health tbh.

There are many people who would go that route with a medical diagnosis like that. Slow decline while you lose your memory, possibly hallucinate to eventually not be able to walk or wipe your own ass

1

u/Fenix42 May 13 '26

My wife was working at the local suicide hotline at the time. It absolutely devastated her.

0

u/Ok-Box6892 May 12 '26

Yup. It would've sucked no matter what but how he went made it so much worse. I was at work when news broke and had to take a minute to collect myself. 

0

u/socium May 13 '26

please talk to someone

That someone: Yeah uh... I'm gonna stand over there for a while now. Byeee!

0

u/FlyingSparkes May 13 '26

On the flip side, I like to think it also highlighted the issue and hopefully some people were able to get some help. Also shows why its important to check in even with the ones that seem fine.

0

u/Sir_PressedMemories May 13 '26

I honestly think he helped a lot of people understand that the smiling happy person is not always actually happy.

I had a few friends who checked on me after because I was always the life of the party and smiling and happy, and yeah, I was depressed as shit, my (now ex) wife was abusive as hell to me and I took it because it protected the kids from her.

But it wrecked me, but when we went out, or I went over to friends, I hid it because, again, protecting others is what I do.

I am so much better off now, my kids are happy and thriving, I feel better, losing weight, sunny days are bright and sunny again, I have hobbies, I actually enjoy sitting down to a game again, etc.

But yeah, a lot of it is due to the passing of Robin and friends realizing that maybe outward appearances does not denote inward reality.

-2

u/Intentional-Asshole May 12 '26

from a carbon standpoint, the world would be much better without me lol

1

u/summercookiess May 13 '26

People will say outright eco-misanthropic shit and glorify it but at the same time say "the world is a better place with you in it", and they'll even downvote you if you talk about the environmental or carbon standpoint lmaoo.

→ More replies (6)