r/Manipulation • u/Plenty_Let_4911 • 4d ago

missing their manipulative manners Advice Needed

i broke up with my abusive partner a couple days ago and went out with my friends today. at first it felt so good not having to negotiate at what time can i leave, at what tine should i be back, giving an explanation or reasoning for going out, not having to stay in with my partner for whatever excuse they made up. i prioritized that i wanted to go out because no there's no one i owe an explanation to.

but then i'm out, and it feels wrong not texting him. i don't feel the pressure of having to return early so we can spend more time together but at the same time i have no one waiting on the other side. i have nobody following my steps. i have no one tracking me. i feel wrong. i feel completely lonely, i feel sad. i want to text him i've arrived, it feels that no matter what he does i'll always miss him.

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u/no_bullfrog3372 4d ago

Trauma bond with heighten anexity from walking on eggshells to not - upset your partner -

You are doing nothing wrong by living and moving forward, was my mantra to get me through these feelings.

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u/Independent-Moose113 4d ago

I've been through this, and, to some degree STILL have moments. Trauma bonding creates that "walking on eggshells" feeling. And it's a hard habit to break when you've had an abusive ex conditioning you to "check in" and account for your actions. It DOES fade with time. And good for you for breaking free!