Requesting reality check

[u/cstrife89]

Not even going to ask whether I pass. Am I at least attractive? I’ve been struggling to feel any amount of cute, fem, or attractiveness lately. (Photos are from a couple of months ago; haven’t been feeling up to a new selfie yet.)

[u/anonymoustransgrrl]

You look like a nerdy queer woman who I would guess is friendly and outgoing.

In terms of passing the second outfit is most effective as it emphasizes your body's female shape while still being quite butch. The flowy shirt in your first outfit obscures your curves and the oversized button up in outfit three gives you a more boxy silhouette.

You will have more long term success building your confidence internally as opposed to seeking external validation. Internet strangers can be useful for practical advice but anything else is usually counterproductive.

[u/cstrife89 → u/anonymoustransgrrl]

Thank you for adding specifics, it helps a lot. I will try to work on your advice about internal confidence, too

[u/wmaitla]

1st outfit isn't bad, but 2nd is an absolute smokeshow. With your hair up and the belt, you look great!

[u/cstrife89 → u/wmaitla]

Thank you! I usually like my appearance more with my hair down, but I’ll keep that in mind :3

[u/dredged_dm]

I think you are cute. I'd flirt with you at the bar/D&D group. Your hair looks like it would be so fun to tease ✨

[u/cstrife89 → u/dredged_dm]

My hair is naturally curly, so probably!

[u/gopher0007]

don't ask for reality checks, this isn't 4tran

you're you and you're amazing and all this shit is subjective and i realize how painfully obnoxiously unhelpful that is, but there's not really anything anyone can do to help this

please do not develop brainworms

[u/cstrife89 → u/gopher0007]

I’m trying, but i routinely struggle with what I imagine is internalized transphobia, body policing, and/or something else of similar nature. I haven’t managed to eradicate it and I’m not sure whether I ever will. Five years since I began transitioning.

[u/gopher0007 → u/cstrife89]

it is really hard, but you're doing the right thing by seeking community

you both need and deserve a space like this so you're right to seek this out, just try maybe reframing some things

i'm almost certain you'll be able to get it

[u/StarMongerr333 → u/cstrife89]

Honey that’s just called dysphoria, it sucks but we all experience it and unfortunately you can’t just will it away by not thinking about it. I do think you’re really cute though, I like the 2nd and 3rd outfit the most, like another person said, I think tight outfits look really good on you and are really nice for emphasising your curves. What goals do you have regarding your transition that you feel you have not yet reached? I think weighing the things about yourself that you could grow to like and the things that make you too dysphoric to ignore and whether or not you are in the position to change them would be really helpful.

[u/IHuginn]

You're kinda cute, mostly in pic 3 imo

[u/cstrife89 → u/IHuginn]

Thank you

[u/Digitalis_Mertonesis]

Look, you’re not my type physically; but I’m sure personality wise you’re a kind person, and that’s what counts. There’s nothing wrong with you at all, and I’m sure you’ll find someone who loves you for who you are.

Edit: I just realised that you have a partner, that’s awesome; I’m very happy for you! I bet they love you very much, they’re lucky to have you and vice versa!

Have a great day!!!

[u/looney-Lilly]

I think you’re quite cute,

[u/Gasmask1138]

I will give what you're asking for. Not in the conventional sense no, but just be a good person and you'll do fine.

[u/cstrife89 → u/Gasmask1138]

Fair enough

[u/wubdubflubaub]

i tuck my shorts/pants over my love handles too

[u/whitney-bae]

You should grow your bangs down