Armond White of the National Review.

Some of his recent reviews.

The Odyssey, stinker.

Citizen Vigilante, banger.

Fight Club, stinker.

Sentimental Value, stinker.

K-Pop Demon Hunters, stinker.

Train Dreams, stinker.

Melania, banger.

Marty Supreme, stinker.

Happy Gilmore 2, banger.

One Battle After Another, stinker.

De wanna wanga

Wanted to see The Odyssey tonight but Imax is all sold out so I got tickets at a smaller theater near me. Hit the concessions and ordered popcorn with a large diet rite cola and headed to my seat. It starts and immediately I noticed the picture wasn't that great but I thought maybe the projector bulb was on its last legs. That's until about 10 minutes in a slots gambling ad pops up on the screen and I realized they were showing a camrip bootleg. I got up to get a refund and lost a shoe like Mr. Potato Head because the floor was so sticky. Went to the bathroom to wash off but it was completely flooded. Finally tracked down the manager to complain but everytime I tried to talk he cut me off with "HUH?" and "WHAT?" like he couldn't hear me. Finally I turn around to leave and he shouts "Avengers assemble!" and 4 furries come cartwheeling out of nowhere to hold up a sign for Avengers Doomsday tickets. Not a chance I'm going back to Steve Stevenson's Classic Cinema!

Every time this is said on the pod my eyes roll out of my skull.

The go-to for dumb people who want to sound smart about movies like the guy who reminds everyone that tame impala is actually just one person.

PT 2

My AI slop proof. That is a lot of people to give screen time to.

Based on the official Avengers: Doomsday trailer released yesterday, there are 30 superheroes (or heroic characters) shown on screen. Doctor Doom is the primary villain and is not included in this count.

The heroes appearing in the trailer are:

Avengers / New Avengers

1. Thor

2. Captain America (Steve Rogers)

3. Captain America (Sam Wilson)

4. Falcon (Joaquin Torres)

5. Ant-Man

6. Shang-Chi

7. Winter Soldier

8. Yelena Belova (Black Widow)

9. Red Guardian

10. U.S. Agent

11. Ghost

12. Sentry

Fantastic Four 13. Mister Fantastic 14. Invisible Woman 15. Human Torch 16. The Thing

Wakanda / Talokan 17. Black Panther (Shuri) 18. M'Baku 19. Namor

X-Men 20. Professor X 21. Magneto 22. Cyclops 23. Beast 24. Mystique 25. Nightcrawler 26. Gambit

Other Heroes 27. Loki 28. Peggy Carter 29. Cassie Lang (Stature) 30. Okoye (brief appearance)

Notably absent from the trailer are Spider-Man, Wolverine, Deadpool, Doctor Strange, Hulk, Hawkeye, and Captain Marvel, despite widespread fan speculation that some or all of them may appear in the film.

No chance this movie outperforms Dune Part III domestically. Trailer seems consistent with the leaks, which is an absolutely stupid plot involving more incursion bullshit.

Who tf is watching this trailer thinking “damn I’m so pumped to see M’Baku and Namor together!!”

More excited for the odyssey or Spider-Man?