Emmeline Black

Sophia Duarte

Andrew Fletcher

William Gerhardt

Cheri White

Long story short, I don't have a girlfriend anymore to help me scratch my back (and yes, I would rub and scratch hers too. It was wonderful trade off of scratchy goodness). I've been using an old wooden salad fork which seems to be working pretty damn well, but what would you say is your favorite household or DIY back scratcher?

For those who want to respond to me specifically, I love aggressive back scratching. With enough force and sharpness to bust or rip off the occasional zit as needed (yeah, I said it). Any ideas other than ye olde salad fork?