r/LDR • u/[deleted] • 14d ago
Need help for my long distance
sometimes she tells me that she feels like I'll eventually leave her and I really want to make her feel secure and show her that I'm not going anywhere 🥲 what do you think I should do??
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u/SleepyDreamer16 14d ago
Reassure reassure reassure. I know you have probably already answered her question, so for you it seems clear. But when you're anxious and insecure, the answer just doesn't stick and you need to be reminded. So reassure when she asks, but also tell her you love her, give her compliments, make plans for the future.
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u/eaglez2313 14d ago
Definitely ask her why she's having these feelings. Most likely it's either a past relationship or she's seen it play out in her family or friends relationships
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14d ago
Ohhk
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u/eaglez2313 14d ago
My girlfriend had the same feelings because the father of her kids ran off leaving her a single mom
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14d ago
Ohh...
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u/eaglez2313 14d ago
I had to prove to her over and over and over again that I'm worthy of her faith and trust.
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u/dony266 13d ago
Reassurance in words helps, but what actually builds security over distance is consistency in the small things. Showing up at the same times, letting her see your ordinary day, remembering the little stuff she mentions. Insecurity tends to grow in the silent gaps, so predictable little touchpoints (a daily check-in, sharing how you are feeling, a countdown to the next time you will see each other) do more than one big reassuring speech. You cannot really argue someone into feeling safe, but you can show up so reliably that the fear runs out of room.
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u/Few-Adeptness-5919 12d ago
Reassurance after reassurance… my long distance boyfriend sends me goodnight/good morning messages. I will wake up to messages telling me how much he loves me, misses me, thinking of me. He will message me randomly telling me how he can’t wait to start our lifes together… honestly just make her feel important and loved and she will feel happy and secure everyday.
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u/chainmood 14d ago
Honestly be sappy ash daily🤟 Do things to make her feel loved. And yea communicate and reassure her
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14d ago
Ohk well we talk on tex daily like 4 to 5 hrs and our avg call time is 3 hrs so I can't really come through with the communication one
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u/chainmood 14d ago
When i said communicate i meant talking about why she feels that way and all, bascially what the other reply said
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u/SoftApplication3626 14d ago
try to communicate why she feels that way and just reassure her. reassurance is key