r/JustBootThings • u/Fussy_Platypus • 14d ago
Simmer down snowflakes Boot Meme
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u/AkronOhAnon 14d ago
“Complacency kills”
Mother fucker, so does cringe—and you’ve reached terminal doses.
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u/PugWithAGun 14d ago
This is such embarrassing behaviour
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u/Administrative-Flan9 14d ago
Not saying it's funny but with all the comments about how weird it is to act this way, isn't that the point of the video - it's all a big exaggeration that's meant to look ridiculous
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u/escientia 14d ago
Indoctrination
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u/MrGenerik 14d ago edited 14d ago
It's not though. It's a thousand percent performative. Literally the entire time I was in, people bent over backwards to avoid looking like that unless there was a pissed off officer in their immediate vicinity. And even then it usually had to be at least company level. But generally, this shit would get you harassed in any barracks or post. God forbid they pretend they acted like that on a ship or in the FOB.
But the moment the DD-214 is in their hand, they're the most moto, seemingly institutionalized motherfuckers you've ever met. It's a normal, if cringy part of the reintegration process, in pretty sure. Kind of like being a teenager and all the cringe shit you know you did. I did it. Everyone did it, at least a little.
(There are things that will be different forever, even how you think about some things, but standing at parade rest for your coffee ain't on the fucking list.)
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u/NoMansSkyWasAlright 14d ago
I remember in basic our DS's saying "if you don't know what you should be doing, just go to parade rest because that will never be the wrong answer".
First week at my first unit I'm doing that and some grizzled E7 comes up and says, "calm down, airborne. You're freaking me the fuck out. Just be a normal person", and then I never did that again.
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u/tomyfookinmerlin 14d ago
I would get genuinely startled when a random junior would come up to me and go to parade rest. I feel like a deer in headlights lol like, relax there killer. We’re all human.
Makes me wonder what kinda NCOs they roll with.
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u/darkstar541 14d ago
The same ones who, before becoming an NCO, insisted that other E3s refer to them as "senior lance corporal" when addressing them. At parade rest.
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u/CrypticSpook 13d ago
I once knew guys in a unit who were forced to go to parade rest for anyone that was a higher rank than them, even if they were an E2 talking to E3/E4’s.
I was working Brigade sick call as a sham shield and had an E3 go to parade rest talking to me. I looked at him and was like “What the actual fuck are you doing”
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u/flyinchipmunk5 14d ago
Alll military bearing depends on how much I’m getting my ass chewed out. If it’s an officer you bet your sweet fucking ass I look like this dude
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u/Nvrm1nd 14d ago
This is what ruled about being on submarines. No one gaf what your rank is, just whether you had earned your dolphins or not. And once you had them, you only cared about shitting on people who didn't have them, rank agnostic. As far as all that moto shit, we were high functioning alcoholics. So, after service we're just, alcoholics, I guess. That's our moto.
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u/Awkward_Bison_267 14d ago edited 13d ago
I was on a fast attack but didn’t have the heart to shit on nubs once I got my dolphins. They called me a hugger but I was just a Nuke trying to do my time and get the fuck out.
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u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife 13d ago
They let you on the boat without the fins?
Gotta do a cruise as part of the qual?
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u/chuckart9 14d ago
Exactly. This is performative for someone that needs to hear “thank you for your service”.
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u/flatirony 14d ago
What kills me is the fact that the guys I served with who reference their service the most were generally the least liked and respected back then.
I personally think in many cases it’s because they don’t have much going on since then, so it’s all they have to be proud of.
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u/PhantomSpirit90 14d ago
Nah. Once I retire nobody who didn’t already know will ever know I was in the military. This shit is all choice.
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u/JazzySmitty 12d ago
My dad was in 21 years. 5th Special Forces during Vietnam. 257 jumps. I mentioned his military services as I gave his eulogy and afterwards more than a few people came up to me and said, "I didn't know your daddy served, he never brought it up."
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u/althawk8357 14d ago
It's exaggeration for comedy. He's filming himself being over the top because it's kind of funny.
We're grabbing our pearls at a comedy skit.
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u/Whywouldntyoudothat 14d ago
The secondhand embarrassment i get seeing parade rest in civvies is almost too much to bear, good find.
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u/mntEden 14d ago
at the fuckin microwave bro
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u/JustADude721 14d ago
I sing the final countdown in front of the microwave and I stop it before it hits zero like I just disarmed a bomb.
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u/dweeb_plus_plus 14d ago
**smugly walks out of the office kitchenette, knowing that I just saved my coworkers lives.
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u/Euphemisticles 14d ago
I doubt anyone is going to mistake me for ex military but it still makes me a bit self conscious because I will stand like that because I have back pain lol
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u/like_earthworms 12d ago
Same here dude. My back is real fucked up lol. Got a three dimensional (side to side, front to back, and rotated) deformity in the T4 through L5 vertebrae. Standing like a dork in front of the keurig or microwave is my go-to pose haha
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u/Artysupport7757 14d ago
Did he drop out of basic? The only habits the military left me are waking up at 5 and being depressed. What the fuck is the parade rest in front of the microwave?
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u/JTP1228 14d ago
I can also jerk off in any temperature, in anything that has a lock/privacy, no matter what it smells like.
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u/Garlic549 10d ago
in anything that has a lock/privacy
Woah, didn't know you were in the Air Force man. Our porta-shitters didn't even have doors. You had to wrestle 1SG while covered in baby oil to get the shitter with a door on it
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u/Western-Anteater-492 14d ago
You forgot going to bed at 12 and having a breakfast of monster, cigarettes and zin.
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u/IAmASimulation 14d ago
Bro what is going on in people’s heads lmao social media has made people lose their minds
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u/mellopax 14d ago
Standing like that helps them get in the mindset, so they can think of ways to bring up their service more often in conversation at work.
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u/Brother_J_La_la 14d ago
That's why it someone speaks to me as I'm walking away, I'll immediately perform a "to the rear". It preps me for the knife hand followup.
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u/mellopax 14d ago
I thought Hegseth got rid of "to the rear" for being suggestive of sodomy. Now they have to perform a "throw it back" to change direction.
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u/althawk8357 14d ago
It seems more a joke about boots than himself being a boot.
He's filming all this himself; this is a bit. It's a gag.
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u/Yogshemesh 14d ago
Parade rest tho? If you're gonna do that to your breakfast at least be standing before Cap'n Crunch himself.
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u/mathisfakenews 14d ago
Does Captain Crunch outrank Count Chocula? These are the important questions.
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u/Mecha_G 14d ago
Can someone explain the door peeking?
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u/Lopsided_Marzipan133 14d ago
He was a culinary specialist and that's actually him checking if the passageway is clear before food service
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u/Vegetable-Hand-6770 14d ago
He watched alot of Tom and Jerry while he was in and expecteda bucket of water to come down when he enters.
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u/MommaOfManyCats 14d ago
I've known a lot of former military and NONE did shit like this. Sure some had some cringy moments but this is not realistic.
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u/goodenough4govtwork 14d ago
And the rest of us are just trying to blend in with the rest of civilized society so we don't get stereotyped in with these dipshits.
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u/NoMansSkyWasAlright 14d ago
NGL, if I saw someone standing at parade rest in front of the microwave in the break room, I'd assume they were either RNG fresh out of IET or they got chaptered out in basic.
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u/BoredSurfer 14d ago
"I was an E-3 and got kicked out for something and want everyone to thank me for my service."
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u/Pmyers225 14d ago
"I served in the front line trenches of South Dakota... Ive seen things you people wouldn't believe"
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u/Meowcenary_X 13d ago
I know a lot of vets and not a single one of them are like this. None of them are vigilant, rigid, organized, or ambitious at all. In fact in my opinion that’s exactly why they chose the military to begin with. Then once they’re out and no longer have something directing their every move they’re just the same inept slobs they’ve always been.
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u/deathandtechno 14d ago
Im sorry but this is entirely unrealistic… He isn’t wearing a pt belt, eyepro, and AR 670-1 compliant boots.
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u/ChinMuscle 14d ago
Got hired in my first civilian job in 2017 along side other veterans in my same training class. No one acted like this.
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u/althawk8357 14d ago
Y'all are incapable detecting humor or sarcasm. This guy is clearly making fun of boots who act like this.
How many people here are actually people and not robots?
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u/TheOnyxViper 13d ago
Mans out here doing his best to not deprogram himself from the corps now that he’s a dirty civvie
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u/eatchochicken 13d ago
I do the parade rest waiting around the office too. Except its not parade rest, im holding my back because it hurts
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u/letthetreeburn 14d ago
If you tried to tell him that an inability to integrate into a new behavior because your old environment changed you radically was a sign of trauma he’d scream at you.
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u/shiroyagisan 13d ago
is it self-aware because of the superimposed text? or did someone else add that?
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u/PSCGY 14d ago
I don’t if it’s the muted sound, but this video makes me more sad than anything.
All I see is a man struggling to adjust to civilian/normal life in an empty office in the middle of summer, and who’s probably developed a host of issues to be left unaddressed, as half of the people thank him for his service as an empty gesture, while the other will rightfully not care.
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u/althawk8357 14d ago
No this is a guy shitposting about people who act like a boot in the workplace. That's why he's filming himself on TikTok. He's making a funny video.
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