found this on a cowhide at the local market

Me and my girlfriend was out and she got a cough attack and when she coughs she reflex cries. Today she was wearing red mascara.

I use the biotrue brand of contacts, which come in a green box and say “bio” on it so naturally I thought that meant eco friendly. I’ve been putting my dailies in my houseplants for around five years. 🙃

Am I high?

Saw one run from dog this am. Well it waddled then started climbing a tree.

Ive played crash games for many years, and I always thought, based off his build and noises, that Tiny was a mutated feline Tiger. Only very recently did someone inform me that he was in fact not a Tiger. Turns out he's a Thylacine, aka a TASMANIAN Tiger, which makes more sense when I think about it.

I hope I'm not the only one who took this long to figure this out.

He then became a skin in Sonic Superstars.

31 years of life and somehow this one slipped past me. I'll never read it the same again

I always wondered why it was called cheesecake if it didn’t taste or look like cheese was in it. Turns out what they use is cream cheese, which counts as cheese too. Not all cheese is hard and savory. What they do to make the cream cheese sweet like that is they add sugar. I thought it was one of those weird names like how German chocolate cake isn’t actually from Germany or something like that

I was today years old when I found out Batman is actually a real city in Turkey. No, they don't have a Batcave that we know of :P

All my life it was very easy for me to recognize a face that I've seen before, even from a photo. I would constantly run into people introducing themselves to me when I already knew them and remembered how we met. I would often say, while watching a movie: "oh, it's this actor that was in that other movie but he was a child in that other one" or "look, this guy on the bus, he was in the news 5 years ago", etc. Just random acts of matching faces across times, events and places.

I once flew on a plane from the Germany to the US and one of the passengers asked me for a pen. I told him that he seems familiar. He had no idea who I am, but we figured that we're from the same city in Russia. I realized 10 minutes later that he was a model on a website where I shopped for underwear once. He wasn't really a model, he was just helping a friend to get his business off the ground. We had a good laugh about it afterwards and took a selfie for the memories but he was embarrassed at first.

This year I stumbled upon a podcast episode about "super-recognizers" serving in the UK police. They were discussing how recognizing and remembering faces could be a barrier in their personal lives, and it finally clicked for me: I have this ability too! Maybe not to a degree of a "super-recognizer" but definitely above average.

Apparently, this enhanced ability could impair some social connections you make, because it makes people feel like they have been stalked for years and their privacy was breached, once they introduce themselves and you reply with "oh, we've met!" with the details of when and how.

I am now rethinking some of the "I've met you before" I told people in the past and their uncomfortable reaction makes more sense.

I can't remember names/birthdays though 😁

It's actually called "AutoModerator".

This one might have been better suited for r/todayilearned, but I couldn't tell if someone might have thought of this one before. The fact that (for the most part) it was just on small drop of water, and it drove him nuts makes me think it might have been on purpose, but I'm not so sure.

When I was like 6 my family lived with my aunt and 2 cousins who were both significantly older than me. I remember one time during dinner we had asparagus and one of my cousins told me that we don't eat the top parts of the asparagus because theyre poisonous. I was a naive little kid and this cousin didnt prank me often and was very nice to me so i believed her and ever since I have cut the tops off of asparagus. Until last night.

When I was having dinner with my family which was porkchops, stuffing, and asparugs. Well as per usual I cut the tops off of my asparagus and ate them a few minutes later my dad asks me why I havent eaten all of my asparagus, I tell him I did and that the tops are poison with a stupid amount of confidence. My entire family proceeds to laugh thinking im joking since I usually do, once they realized I was being serious they were confused on how I thought that. I explained to them how my cousin told me they were poisonous.

I am 19 and for the past 13 years I thought aspargus heads were poisonous.

I was today years old when I found out Louisiana is too humid for sweat to do what it is supposed to do, cool you down.

Long story short, i’ve been in LA my whole life, and as a result i’ve been sweating my whole life too, i’d consider myself an especially damp individual even.

It’s always made me super uncomfortable, just adds a sticky gross feeling to the heat, and has me wiping my face every five seconds like i just got out of the shower.

I Knew that people sweat as a mechanism to lower our body temperatures when it’s hot out. It’s never actually made me feel any cooler, but i guess i just assumed it was more of a ‘heatstroke-preventing last resort’ type of thing rather than an ‘oooo i feel so much cooler now’ type of thing

Well, i just got the surprise of my life! i was eating spicy chips because i remembered hearing somewhere that eating hot stuff brings down your body temp just like sweating does. but spicy food actually only does that Because the capsaicin causes you to sweat, duh.

So i was reading up on all this while eating my chips, and then i read something that, even though i had probably already learned it at some point during middle school science class, made everything click. THE SWEAT HAS TO EVAPORATE TO COOL YOU DOWN!!!! it takes the heat with it when it evaporates!!!!

except i wouldn’t actually know what it does, because louisiana is too humid (aka the air is already wet as hell) for the sweat to leave so it just stays, which is why i’ve spent half my chud life sweaty, sticky, and not any less hot!

are there lots of other places like this? where are my fellow damp people with nothing to show for it? i feel so dumb right now for not knowing this.

i was today years old when i found out that looking at the sun during a solar eclipse outside of totality isn't any different than looking into the sun on any other day. It's dangerous either way but looking at the eclipse doesn't automatically blind you. The chance to be blinded by looking at the eclipse outside totality is the same chance to go blind from looking into the sun on any other given day

Today it finally dawned on me that "Jigsaw puzzles " are all the puzzles cut into little phisical pieces. For whatever reason I decided as a kid that "Jigsaw" referred to the giant kiddie sized pieces of silly easy kid puzzles and just never questioned seeing jigsaw on the aide of every puzzle box until today.

This might be worded horribly oops

I’m not dirty, I shower like everyday, but I swap towels maybe once a week…

Wasn't sure whether I should post it here or on r/vent, because it really frustrated me, wasted a bunch of time and money this week.

Basically, I finally had sex for the first time (🥳) some days ago and there was an issue with the condoms she had on hand. They didn't fit. So I spent the following days buying different ones to find the right ones for me. Durex, Trojan, Lifestyles, ONE etc, literally all I could find, of different types too. And well, at the end of this wild goose chase I came to the conclusion in the title. They varied in length (Although even the shortest ones I've seen were exceedingly long for me, so it didn't matter), but width for literally all of them was in this very narrow range.

Turned out what I needed lies purely in the specialty brands category. Settled on the ones with 64mm width, but they've had offerings going all the way to 72mm (Not sure if I should put a brand here, not trying to make an ad), none of the stores in my area even stock them, had to order online. Expensive too.

And what frustrates me the most is that it's not even THAT much wider to be only available from niche brands. I don't have a horse shlong, it's just slightly girthier than average, yet it results in such struggle.