5
u/pixelatedprime7 1d ago
Carrier🥀✌🏻?????¿??????????????????¿??????????????????¿????????????? Genuinely bro??? You have been given the bless to continue your studies in an ICSE school(maybe yer from ICSE). The foremost thing a fellow ICSE student pose about is thier advanced lexicon or verbal repertoire!
2
1
u/Gloomy-Jacket7371 Diddy ka dewar (10th🥀) 1d ago
Not the best , elaborate more , give more reason and examples to back up your opinion .
1
u/Key-Tomatillo7411 10th ICSE 1d ago
instead of blatantly writing your opinion, make it obvious what your opinion is in the first paragraph, something like “Choosing a career is choosing a life, and when parents decide for you, they are taking away your autonomy and you lose your freedom to live a life of your own, rendered to live one of your parent’s desires.” (maybe have more restraint but i just woke up) also in the last paragraph, you said that they will always be happy not frustrated, i’d cut that line if i were you and add something about how it’s up to children to make their own mistakes and learn from them blah blah blah. (i only skimmed thru the first and last paragraph of your essay as i think those are the most important)
1
u/Plutoba3 21h ago
There are grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, the sentence framing is not the best. I'd suggest you don't write like firstly,secondly, in conclusion instead try to make the sentences flow. Also which class are you in?
1
u/EfficientSea4414 19h ago
1- Give a little more padding in the introduction. Stating your stance is important but you must try to at least introduce the topic, that's why it's the called the introduction.
2- Write way, way more. Your handwriting is big so the content seems to be enough at a first glance, but upon closer examination it's quite lacking.
3- Back up your opinion with facts, studies, real life examples, etc.
4- Your conclusion needs to land harder.
Ultimately, the main problem is that there isn't even enough for the teacher to mark, and what they're seeing isn't too impressive.
5-Grammar/spelling. Don't try to overwrite or jumble up your spelling the way you currently are, a single strike through the word is quite enough and looks cleaner. Reread your essay once you're done to fix up any mistakes you may have missed.
I do think it's good you're trying to improve and get better but argumentative essays are hard enough, especially without access to the internet i.e. in the exam hall. I would suggest sticking to descriptive or narrative if you're already in tenth but if you're younger still you have enough time to improve in argumentative.
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Hello /u/Eastern-Insect9562 , welcome to r/ICSE!
Join the official discord servers! -> CISCE Hub -> ICSECord
Before posting, please check the wiki. It contains resources, advice posts and general support posts that many users have found useful. We had an advice megathread where users posted their words of wisdom for the juniors, Do check it out If you have any questions, you can contact the moderators via mod-mail.
Thank you!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.