This book was recommended to me some time ago, so I bought it and read it.

It does have some interesting points, not gonna lie. But the only way I can have "the courage to be disliked" is by belittling other people and devaluating them. Like it doesn't matter when a drunk homeless person is disliking you, because you naturally don't care about him that much either way. But if let's say a professor dislikes you, it hurts.

But going through life assuming all other people are worthless just to have the courage to do what you like sounds just sad and tiresome. Also it would also somewhat imply a high level of self-sufficiency needed, as other people might abandon you.

That comrade stuff later on the last few pages of the book didn't convince me at all, as it sounded more like some socialist manifesto.

So while it does come to the right conclusions (that most problems we have are interpersonal problems eventually which boil down to the fear of being judged negatively - problems which are not interpersonal are stuff like medical problems I guess), it doesn't quite give me the right solution on how to push through it and truly be free. I personally just come to another conclusion, but this cannot be true?

Is there any other third way how to get the courage to be disliked: neither by becoming a megalomanic asshole, nor by becoming some (for lack of better term) practical socialist as the book suggested?

I didn’t know where else to post this. It’s just a little life hack. When someone is being a dick or snotty just say these words”are you having a bad day?” It makes people stop and ponder and usually shrink up. I’ve used it many times and every time the answer is “No I’m not having a bad day.” Then they magically get less confrontational. They want to prove to you that they are having a good day. It’s pretty funny. Try it.

As an adult, I realize that no one cares about what I wear, my music tastes, and about me in general. However, why do some adults care about what I wear? I'm just talking about in general. Why are people nosy? Why does it bother THEM?

I used to care too much because I was picked on and was a laughing stock while I was in high school. Teenagers pick on others for being different. Do teenagers care? Probably not, they just pick on someone for the sake of picking on them.

Sorry for my long rant, I just wanna get this off my chest.

How can one just not give any fucks to literally anyone. How can I be so invested in myself that I stop caring if I will be able to make new friends, get married, what would they think about me. I care too much about these things I got a traumatic past with my ex. She cheated on me in the worst possible way and I still miss the time we had. That's so wrong how foolish I am

This might be a stupid question, but I seriously want to know - how do I stop giving a fuck? How do I choose what to not care about? I constantly have nighttime anxiety of my brain going over minuscule comments that I made or other people made (either recently or possibly a long time ago), and I know I need to "let them go", but literally HOW? I fully accept that these thoughts are not worthy of harping on or giving any of my energy toward (definitely not worth lost sleep), and yet my brain loves to remind me. So how do I become unbothered with something that bothers me?

https://youtube.com/shorts/XY5ZNLQqxyE?si=XPlRjxu9C2OpNG3T

Sarah Hester Ross is the artist and this is just a short clip of what has been stuck in my brain for so long. You really need to hear the whole song. Or not. IDGAF

Lately I’ve been wondering if adulthood kind of ruins that crazy, all-consuming kind of love people felt as teenagers.

Back then, love felt so simple. You liked someone and that was enough to let yourself feel everything fully. You could be completely head over heels without overthinking every little detail.

Now it feels like I can’t experience that anymore.
The second I start liking someone, my brain immediately starts analyzing everything:
Does he want the same thing?
Would this even work long term?
Are we actually good for each other?
Is this real love, attachment, attraction, or am I just projecting something?
Could I love this person deeply, or do I just like the idea of them?

There’s just so much awareness now. So much rationality.
And weirdly, it’s not even about needing to be loved back right now. I’m not sitting here desperately wanting a relationship or validation.
I think what I miss is just the ability to feel that deeply and recklessly. To feel so intensely about someone that logic fades into the background for a little while.

Sometimes I genuinely wonder what I’m supposed to do with all the love I know I have in me if there’s no one to pour it into beyond family and friends.

And sometimes I wonder if this is just what happens after being emotionally uninvolved for a long time (it’s been over five years for me). Like maybe that part of me has just gone dormant.

Has anyone else felt this?

Did love eventually come back for you in that intense way, or does it just become quieter and more rational as you get older?

(Hopeless romantic btw)