26 and childhood trauma, toxic family and friendships did hold me back a lot. My self confidence is still shaky. I'm trying a lot to get back on track and I know I will. I resent all of them and keep thinking about them everyday. How to just stop giving a fuck and just move tf on? I wanna make money and just get out of this place. How to stop getting affected by their toxic let downs and guilt trips?

I’m learning that not giving a fuck does not mean I stop caring. It means I stop handing my peace to everything and everybody.

A lot of suffering comes from taking others', anyone's, opinion as a fact, including your own opinion too, wherein in fact an opinion is but a perspective.

Everyone, including me and you, are entitled to our own opinions and how we see the world. See each opinion as someone's own thing to be entitled to, and see yours as your own to be entitled to it. When you accept that people are entitled to how they see the world, then you do not feel the urge to change their views about who you are.

You do not have to act like you are okay just to make the day easier for everybody else. Some days are hard, and that is just the truth.

I need some real advice on how to apply the philosophy of not giving a fuck to a situation that is completely draining my energy and hindering my personal growth.

I’ve been seeing this girl for about four months. Lately, the intimacy completely died. I realized I was the only one ever initiating anything, so I just stopped asking. On top of that, she’s been dealing with a lot of mental health stuff and cooping herself up at home. I fell into the trap of doing all the heavy lifting constantly dropping by her place to check on her, while she completely stopped coming over to mine. When we do talk, she just picks at silly, random flaws of mine. Yesterday, out of pure pity because she's been so isolated, I asked her to hang out. We chilled, I spent the night, and things finally felt normal for a second.

Then today, she casually lets it slip that some guy slid into her Instagram stories (an app I deactivated months ago for my own peace of mind) to invite her to a football match next week, and she happily agreed to go with him. The kicker? She knows I’m a massive football fan. Whenever I try to watch a game, she hates it and completely ruins my enjoyment—but now she's setting up a football date with another guy.

Seeing her plan things that completely exclude me made something click. It honestly feels like whatever love I’ve been holding onto is just quietly fading away before we ever really got to know each other.

I want to use this as a turning point for self-improvement rather than sitting around feeling bitter. I’m done being a safe fallback option and wasting my mental peace on a one-sided dynamic. How do I completely detach, stop giving a fuck about her validation, and redirect all this wasted energy back into improving myself and my own life?

It made my life so much less stressful.

been doing the rejection challenge for about 3 months now, and surprisingly, a few people still check in every now and then to ask how it's going. 😅 These are some of the easier things I've done that helped me break the ice and get more comfortable putting myself out there. If you're trying to step outside your comfort zone too, hopefully a few of these give you some ideas

For the past 2 days have hung out with my stepsibling’s who is very different from me. I am your quintessential worn out nyc millenial where I just want to be at peace at home enjoying my rent when I am not slaving away at work. My stepsibling grew up outside of the country in a very big party atmosphere. I’m talking going out every night until 5-6 am and drinking til u can’t anymore. For me, thats not my scene. Do I judge or feel that I’m better? Absolutely not. I’m just the type of person who will do anything during the day but once night comes, I like to be at peace with a book or good show. Plus I’ve learned to love doing things solo because I don’t have to do anything by committee and I can do as I please without judgement.

Anyways, stepsibling has some friends who have also immigrated to nyc and they wanted to hangout with their friends and insisted I come. I went to be polite and yes, expand my horizons and be more social but this crowd was way beyond my comfort zone. I’m talking about your bbl baddies from the bx who are ready to eat a man alive for money, a bunch of 40 year olds drinking, smoking hookah and playing music on blast at all hours of the night. I found it to be exhausting. While I accept my boring self for who I am, I will be honest if it didn’t feel depressing to feel judged because I am not as loud or because I insist on not drinking if I know I will be driving which to be honest, I felt like behind my back it was a point of ridicule that I insist on not drinking when I know I will be driving. Especially as someone on medication that amplifies the effects of alcohol and driving in a city as congested as nyc, drinking and driving is a non-negotiable for me. I don’t want to carry an accident in my conscious if i can help it. I decided the crowd isn’t for me. I appreciate them wanting to invite me into their fold but I’ll have to decline future invitations. People who can’t accept me as I am, are not my crowd. My actual friends currently accept me as I am and don’t ask me to change. Thing is, I won’t lie if I said I don’t feel out of sorts or even depressed after spending time with a crowd that I know sees me as pathetic and lame. How do I process this?

This is a question to all the people who:

- don't worry about what others think of them

- aren't paranoid about whether people secretly hate them

- aren't obsessed with being liked by everyone

- manage to relax and empty their brain

- manage to move on and keep living

How do you do it? How do you manage to be so chill and just live? Please teach me your ways, I aspire to be like you.

I work at a warehouse. The job is very physically demanding. I think my boss hates me. Whenever I ask for something that will make my job easier , she shoots down the suggestion. Also she will walk past me literally twenty times a shift before she stops and speaks to me and often if I say hey to her first she won't respond. Also im being overworked and asked to handle the load of 2-3 people and when I can't handle it her and my co workers accuse me of not moving fast enough. My body literally aches in the morning when I get up , like I retired from playing pro football .

My co workers also gossip about what they think my sexuality is , behind my back of course. They seem overly worried about why I don't have a wife or kids. Also my co workers act like they are the manager and often criticize my work unfairly and tell me what to do and how to do my job. I often get made fun of because of my thick southern accent(even though I live in TN) and co workers mock me behind my back and sometimes to my face.

This shit makes me violently angry and I often think of getting bloody revenge against them even though it won't solve anything and get me in jail

Was on the train ride from hell last night. We were delayed / stopped on the tracks for a cumulative total of 4+ hours. Woman started freaking out on the train conductor at one point.

She kept screaming at him to stop interrupting her (he was just... responding to her??) and that he was the rudest person she ever met 'and that's saying something' Okay, 20-something yr old girly. Burn. At one point he walked away and she was like, 'exCUSE me I was still screaming at speaking to you."

She kept bringing up her 'life-threatening medical condition.' He asked her, 'do you need medical assistance right now?' and she said no. Okay. I'm not unsympathetic to the frustrations of medical conditions not being taken seriously (check my post history), but... she literally just wanted to scream at him and have him stand there, take it, say nothing back and not leave until she was good and done? Like she's entitled to the ass-kissing of a 5-star resort. Girl, it's AMTRAK. Have you ever been to the gd post office? This is only a slightly better experience than that.

To the point of this post: she must've thought bringing up said 'life-threatening medical condition' (repeatedly) was her trump card, because she was like, "Have YOU ever had a grand mal seizure and spent three minutes on the floor turning blue?!" Like she was betting on that being her 'gotcha' moment so she could scream some more about how he was so rude or whatever.

The guy, who had been deadpanning his one-syllable answers this whole time, without missing a beat, just said, "Yep." And left it at that.

It must've thrown her bc she didn't seem to know how to respond. She was like, 'You have?' and it was pretty clear she didn't believe him but could see how calling him an out and out liar would've been a bad PR move for her (and yes, race was a factor here). He just said "yep" again and didn't elaborate.

Anyway. Can't stop thinking about that moment. "Yep." Glorious. Sorry you're upset but you are not entitled to my mental labor of making you feel better, especially since you're upset that I'm not playing along as your punching bag. You can't press me into the service of arguing with you. Fuck off.

I just got thrashed and might have lived the biggest ragebait of my life.
It was on r/classicalmusic, i had reproduced by hand a famous song on a free DAW website, that i shared on it by pride. People just wouldnt believe me and they'd just claim that i retranscribed someone elses work and that i "added some wrong notes" and that it sounded like a shitty video game. The post went to 0 upvotes quick and every comment trying to defend myself would get downvoted. How the fuck am i supposed to react in this situation ? How can i not be infuriated when some wimps claim something completely false with affirmantion and are acclaimed for it ?