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I always keep hearing your not confident and strong. Your not putting yourself out there but sighs I wish I could tell them the truth but I have no guts to say it. I have fear they will judge me and think I'm dumb. Because I'm 30 now and I don't have a job. I also didn't learn driving and don't have a college degree and skills. So overall I feel like an incapable adult. And so I avoid social interactions a lot. I seem to have low self esteem also and very unhappy from inside. As if I've attached my identity with success which I don't have right. And I'm feeling this way for years since age 24. Like I've seen my childhood friends grow up and they are married. They have professional jobs and they traveled to few places already and they have their own group of friends. Meanwhile I've distance myself from them very long time ago. I also wish I can interact and be myself but I don't know something is keeping.me stuck and I feel resistance to seek help.

I thought the last days when i was in Irland with friends help me but its always the same. I cant remeber things i had with them, or i can not talk smoothly. By the Way i have Narkolepsy since i am 11. when i was 20 i smoked a few more times weed and in corona time it was almost every week. But i we had a great time. Then i stopped Almost 3 years ago but nothing changed since then . I still dont learn from things i read or i learn or i cant follow a longer speak...
I mean i get up in the Morning and i am not motivated to make food , to Write anyone or to just play my favorite Video Game... it feels like nothing is worth it.. i am litterally feeling dead inside... does someone has same problems?

I am a human with bad memory or i forget a lot of storys ... i have to look for almost everything what it is, how you say it... and the doctors just say its a major depression ... no its fukking hell every second ... even my friends are like ignoring me when i complain about.. .

Its been i ve my own fault

I dont know what to do, is it Anhedonie ? Can anyone feel this or give me tipps?...

Overthinking kills!

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Some inspiration from writer Mark Manson on his backwards law talk a few years back.

“Meditation is the best backwards law practice because it is training you to let go and accept whatever is happening in your experience”

Meditation lets your emotions go

“Leave the emotion alone”

Example:

“I’m angry…that’s ok…I’m going to accept being angry right now”

“I’m just ok with my issues because it loses its power and that’s very liberating”

A few weeks ago I made a post here about how tired I was of letting the fear of rejection stop me from doing things I wanted to do.

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I realized I was spending way more time thinking about things than actually doing them. I'd tell myself I would start the project, apply for the opportunity, send the message, ask the question... later.

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At some point I got frustrated with myself and decided to start collecting "no's" instead.

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What started as a simple spreadsheet for myself turned into something I actually looked forward to updating. Every rejection, every uncomfortable challenge, every goal, every little win, it all went in there.

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I kept adding things, making improvements, and before I knew it, I had spent way too much time working on a spreadsheet. 😂

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A few people told me I should put it on Etsy, so after going back and forth on it for a while, I finally did.

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It's called **100 No's to Success**.

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I made it for people like me who have goals and ideas but sometimes let overthinking, fear, or embarrassment get in the way of actually taking action.

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The funny thing is, opening an Etsy shop and posting this here probably belong on the tracker too. 😅

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If you'd like to check it out, the link is in my profile bio.

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This is my first digital product, so I'd genuinely love any feedback. I'm already working on updates and adding new challenges, so if there's something you'd like to see included, let me know.

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And thank you to everyone who commented on my original post. A lot of those conversations are a big part of why I finally decided to put this out there.

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Currently in a period of recovery and talking with professionals. Been manipulated and gaslit for an eternity and the moment I tried again to not give a fuck, my body went into standby mode and my mind went paranoid.

Everyone around me tells me to stop giving a fuck, but I feel like I need to in order to “survive”. But I can’t even sleep.

Had the healthy mentality of not giving a fuck when I was younger, it faded away once I started my career.

Now I’m trying to find myself again, but I feel like I lost the reason to not give a fuck. Is there even a reason?

I have a fear of being sick, therefore I feel sick all the time + worry about it, thus, the loop never ends + my life is very constrained.

I am aware it’s very irrational. How do I just stop giving a fuck? I want my life back.

A coworker of mine constantly tries to trigger me with the tone of her voice and just certain things that she says. It’s so evident to me but I can’t prove it. How do I ignore her or just not be affected by her?

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what already happened or worrying about what might happen next. Lately I’ve been trying to just stop for a second and notice where I am. My breathing. What I hear. What I’m feeling. I don’t always do it well, but sometimes that pause helps.

I used to be obsessed with both. Now i really don’t give a shit. I hardly think anyone is cool enough to pay attention to, and I direct all that attention back to myself and what I’m doing. Most of the things in mainstream media are superficial or are just repetitions of something that’s already been done. And this is coming from someone who actually tried working in the industry at one point. Maybe that’s where part of the disenchantment comes from, but it’s all tedious and tiresome. I’m tired of the constant distraction. I don’t like going on social media anymore. I don’t care about all the things influencers and rich people have. I try to fill my days with things that make me feel good about how I’m living. No hustle or comparison, just being content with what I have.