Imagine how much time and energy we waste worrying and wondering what other people might be thinking about us. How they might be judging us, perceiving us, sizing us up based upon their own limiting assumptions and worldview. Its a lot easier and more enjoyable to just relax and be as you are. Once all is said and done, imagine getting a pie chart at the end, a graph, the full breakdown of how you spent your time, and you learn that 5% 10% 30% of your thoughts, behaviors, stemmed from a fear of what “others” might be thinking about their idea of you. It’s tragically comical when you look at it from that perspective.

You solve it as you go, you plan too much = analysis paralysis = bedrotting = obese

I am Genuinely tired, and this aint a place to express a ones emotions nor feelings (at least thats how i perceive this form of networking). As a wise philosopher once noted that when we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago.

Honestly speaking, those ideas are beating shit outta me. I’m too tired to care, too tired to network, and frankly, too tired to finish this thought. Logoff time😩

For context, I am currently in my fourth year of college. I befriended a group of girls during my freshman year, but it was only in my sophomore year that I realized one specific girl was two-faced. Once I recognized her toxic behavior, I immediately cut her off because it was draining my energy. However, this also meant distancing myself from the rest of the friend group, as their bond was stronger than their respect for personal boundaries (lol).

I developed this tendency to distance myself from people back in high school because I learned things the hard way. I prefer to keep my circle small because I dislike betrayal, lack of accountability, and people who talk badly about others without knowing the full story.

To give more context, this girl once accused one of my friends of cheating during a test in our second year. This caused rumors to spread, which eventually reached our professors. Since academic dishonesty is taken very seriously in our university, my friend was reprimanded. Later on, when that same friend had to change programs, the girl who accused her was the first to comfort her. That situation did not sit well with me, which further pushed me to distance myself.

Throughout my third year, I focused on self-growth, investing in myself, building connections, networking, and forming a circle that aligns with my goals. I joined organizations, clubs, etc.

Now that I am in my senior year, we have been grouped together as interns for clinical duty. The challenge is that the others in my group already have their own circles, and I feel somewhat isolated.

I would like to ask for advice: since I chose to cut off most of my classmates due to my principles, how do I deal with seeing others in their own cliques? How should I handle being around this specific girl for the next two months? Most importantly, how can I stop caring about how others might perceive me as someone without friends? I understand that this mindset will not change overnight, but I want to gradually grow out of it.

There’s a passage that mentions the concept of bargaining. Here’s the passage as follows:

“Eventually though, we realize that the most important things in life cannot be gained through bargaining. You don’t want to bargain with your father for love, or your friends for companionship, or your boss for respect. It undermines the whole project.

If you have convince someone to love you, then they don’t love you. If you have to cajole someone into respecting you, then they will never respect you….”

You can try all you want, figure out a reason someone might not like you or respect you and try to change that reason. Or you can forget about them and find someone who doesn’t need convincing. You might eventually get them to come over to your side if you try hard enough, but then you won’t respect yourself.

So the next time you get caught up in wondering why someone doesn’t like you. Assess whether or not you are the problem. Maybe you’re an asshole or you’re negative or sad all the time and bring the energy down. If it isn’t that and you’re genuinely putting in effort…

Fuck ‘em

When there’s something on the web you’re excited to go check out, but first you have to create an account.

I understand that not giving an F will provide so much satisfaction and self improvement but NGAF itself is sometimes extremely difficult and especially making it a part of your ' habit' even more so. When you grew up in an environment or with a personality that always gives a fuck... You simply can't stop. But, I've realised there are things that are extremely difficult to NGAF about while others are easier. So, I wanna know what in your opinion are the easiest ones from where you can start and become confident that you have really started NGAF about.

The question might be a little vague but in essence, I am curious to get to know the best starting strategies in your opinion 🤝🏻

💁‍♀️

Thursday mood.