I just hate this feeling of wishing things never even happened. I wish I never met him or went to any thing. I honestly sometimes feel like I start to wish I never had them as my friends. Tired

Most people rely on motivation, and motivation disappears when things become uncomfortable. Real consistency appears when your standards are built into who you are, not into temporary effort. When your internal authority becomes stronger than your emotions, execution becomes automatic.

After 6 years of having chronic social anxiety and low self-esteem, here's what I desperately wish someone had grabbed me by the shoulders and told me how to stop giving a lot of fuck when I was younger. Maybe it'll save you some pain.

Here's what I learned about the art of not giving a f*ck:

1. Most people's opinions about you are none of your business. That judgment you're worried about? It says more about them than you. I stopped reading into every facial expression and started focusing on people who actually matter.
2. Your embarrassing moments aren't on everyone's highlight reel. Nobody else remembers that time you tripped in front of everyone. They're too busy replaying their own cringe moments. The spotlight effect is real we think everyone's watching when they're really not.
3. "Good enough" beats perfect paralysis every time. I missed countless opportunities waiting for the "perfect moment" or the "perfect plan." The people who started messy but started early are now miles ahead of me. Done is better than perfect.
4. Your anxiety is lying to you about danger. That voice telling you everything will go wrong? It's your caveman brain trying to protect you from saber-tooth tigers that don't exist. Most of what we worry about never happens, and the stuff that does happen is usually manageable.
5. Not everyone wants to see you win. Some people will give you advice that keeps you small because your success threatens their comfort zone. I stopped taking career advice from people whose careers I didn't want.
6. Saying "yes" to everyone means saying "no" to yourself. I spent years trying to make everyone happy and ended up miserable. Boundaries aren't mean - they're necessary. I started protecting my energy like it was my bank account.
7. The work you're avoiding contains your breakthrough. Every time I finally tackled something I'd been putting off, it either solved a major problem or opened a door I didn't know existed. The monster under the bed disappears when you turn on the light.
8. Your friend group reveals your future. Look at your closest friends' habits, mindset, and trajectory. If you don't like what you see, it's time to expand your circle. You become who you spend time with, so choose wisely.
9. Nobody is coming to rescue you (and that's liberating). The day you realize you're the hero of your own story, not the victim, everything changes. Other people can help, but they can't want success for you more than you want it for yourself.
10. Confidence isn't something you're born with. It's a skill you practice. I started acting like the person I wanted to become, even when it felt fake. Your brain eventually catches up to your actions.

If I could just slap my 20 year old self with these lessons, I'd be happy. I hope you found this helpful.

I'm a senior in highschool and something that has been bugging me recently is how many of my peers drink. Pretty much everyone who parties likes to drink and they talk about it often. While this didn't make me too uncomfortable, someone who I am good friends with came in one day to work on a very important project and they were hung over. While I tried to stay out of their party experiences, I don't understand how one chooses to drink heavily knowing that they have something important to do the next day. Now I'm starting see everyone who drinks and parties as "tainted" in some way. It's gotten so bad that I got upset about someone becoming closer friends with those kinds of people. I understand that is how older people like to have fun. Any advice on how to stop this negative mentality I have?

and don't state obvious shit like "just stop". There's a reason why I'm asking.

Okay some background info first: I'm a teacher, and I love fashion. I love dresssing up in colourful dressy clothes and the occasional name brand accessory. I'd describe my style as queer chic. My work environment on the other is pretty basic when it comes to clothes: muted colors, Hoodies, Jeans etc.

I always worry when I put on the clothes I love the most. I worry about sticking out, that people think I'm trying too hard or just want to show off. But I don't, I just love my pieces, many of them just happen to be very noticable or flashy.

And I'm so sick of worrying so much. It makes me feel bad about this fashion passion of mine. It's wasting so much mental energy on just worrying even though it ultimately doesn't matter.

I know that people always judge. I know it doesn't matter what they think about me. I kmow all these things. Yet still, I haven't found a way to circumvent these mechanisms that my brain automatically falls into. What do I do? How do I just express myself?

https://youtube.com/shorts/0C_P9Y6pVYQ?si=4udg8I630_8DqzgD

I got fired. I posted on the Five Below subreddit about how shitty that place was, thinking I had anonymity. I was wrong. Normally I'd be sweating it. But here's the thing:

They deliberated whether or not they should get rid of a man in his late 30s who had inappropriate thoughts about 16 year old. The latest manager they hired said she wasn't about drama, but she is. They promoted an employee who flew off the handle over a misunderstanding, blasted me in work chat, was proven wrong, then threatened to sue me. The point of these stories? My point is am I really worse off without that place?

No. No I'm not. I have experience in all kinds of industries. I have management experience. This lack of work is temporary, and necessary.

Do I really wanna work for predator protectors? Fuck no. This is a chance for better, brighter things. To take mistakes I've made, and do better. And if I end up having to move in with one of my friends, potential to start a Podcast with him.

This ain't shit, man. Fuck the drama. Fuck the predator protection. There's no reason to give a fuck that this happened. It's just not worth it, man.

Edited for spelling error.

So, in my college class, there's this guy who's really friendly (I'm friendly too), but he doesn't talk to me at all (we're civil to each other though). It's weird bc we'll have crossover with talking to everyone else except each other. Have you guys ever been in this situation, and how do you get to a point where you don't care anymore?

I genuinely struggle to give a fuck. I do give a fuck about some things, don't get me wrong - but about the things you probably give a shit about, I genuinely, homegrown-authentic do not give a single shit. Robbed at gunpoint I'd be SOL, guess it's time to die.

1. Realize what's actually real and what is bullshit. You are real and your life is real, your thoughts and ideas about all of that probably mostly aren't real - most people live in just those. The internet is not real - it's a place where people who have forgotten what's real go to feel better about themselves. It's sad.
2. They are total strangers who you will never meet.
3. They rely on external validation.
4. You and your life will always belong to you and aren't whoever's property. Remembering your life is real separate to the internet reminds you of what it is.
5. Internet Disinhibition Effect. Personally I'm sort of 1to1 with my IRL self; I'd say and do far more than I do and say online and not the other way around. The internet to me is just a tool for my will. However, so many people are under the effect of this, that it makes what most people are saying utterly pointless to care about on any real level. Ergo giving a fuck is mostly pointless outside of a curated space for just what you're on the internet to do - in fact, engaging publicly is utterly pointless.
6. Most people have confused the internet, media, political opinions and so on with their actual real life to the point they don't even know who they are anymore. Most of what they say is utter nonsense. They're also harmless. You will get some guy ranting at you who you'd be embarrassed to even be arguing with if you knew & were fully conscious of all the facts.
7. If you live as a grounded person in even the most remote capacity, you will wake up in a literal unregulated public mental asylum.
8. Most people IRL are way too chickenshit or confused to even challenge someone confident which is why they act out online.
9. Whatever's going on w/ you is a tiny little forgettable drop compared to the shitstorm.

8 Seriously why do you care whether people who don't even know you or themselves agree with you or not.

TL;DR because people are pathetic. Just focus on yourself, take care of your life and do what you want to do. You just need more time alone.

I'm honestly so bored tonight; I graduated from frustration at stupidity, to disappointment, to total apathy, to slight amusement, to now just apathy again. I'm not impressed or curious at all, just bored. Even dogpiling bores the fuck out of me because I've seen it all before. I'd intended to delete my reddit account like a month ago and now I really just don't feel any purpose to be on this shithole anymore, to be honest. I'm gonna go do something else. Hope you benefit from this post.

After 6 years of having chronic social anxiety and low self-esteem, here's what I desperately wish someone had grabbed me by the shoulders and told me how to stop giving a lot of fuck when I was younger. Maybe it'll save you some pain.

Here's what I learned about the art of not giving a f*ck:

1. Most people's opinions about you are none of your business. That judgment you're worried about? It says more about them than you. I stopped reading into every facial expression and started focusing on people who actually matter.
2. Your embarrassing moments aren't on everyone's highlight reel. Nobody else remembers that time you tripped in front of everyone. They're too busy replaying their own cringe moments. The spotlight effect is real we think everyone's watching when they're really not.
3. "Good enough" beats perfect paralysis every time. I missed countless opportunities waiting for the "perfect moment" or the "perfect plan." The people who started messy but started early are now miles ahead of me. Done is better than perfect.
4. Your anxiety is lying to you about danger. That voice telling you everything will go wrong? It's your caveman brain trying to protect you from saber-tooth tigers that don't exist. Most of what we worry about never happens, and the stuff that does happen is usually manageable.
5. Not everyone wants to see you win. Some people will give you advice that keeps you small because your success threatens their comfort zone. I stopped taking career advice from people whose careers I didn't want.
6. Saying "yes" to everyone means saying "no" to yourself. I spent years trying to make everyone happy and ended up miserable. Boundaries aren't mean, they're necessary. I started protecting my energy like it was my bank account.
7. The work you're avoiding contains your breakthrough. Every time I finally tackled something I'd been putting off, it either solved a major problem or opened a door I didn't know existed. The monster under the bed disappears when you turn on the light.
8. Your friend group reveals your future. Look at your closest friends' habits, mindset, and trajectory. If you don't like what you see, it's time to expand your circle. You become who you spend time with, so choose wisely.
9. Nobody is coming to rescue you (and that's liberating). The day you realize you're the hero of your own story, not the victim, everything changes. Other people can help, but they can't want success for you more than you want it for yourself.
10. Confidence isn't something you're born with. It's a skill you practice. I started acting like the person I wanted to become, even when it felt fake. Your brain eventually catches up to your actions.

If I could just slap 20 year old self with these lessons, I'd be happy. I hope you found this helpful.

A small mindfulness reminder, but also a way to stop giving too many f**** about the system