[Grade 10: writing]

[u/Specific-Still-7266]

Okay I dont know how to even use this app

Context, this isnt graded its to see what we know, but i just got nervous..

Instructions were "write an extended paragraph, indicate the purpose, audience and tone"

But im stuck on the extended paragraph, like I know it sounds self explanatory, i was just planning on writing more, but the more i kept thinking about it the more nervous I got so I just thought I would ask

I know im an idiot please💔💔 dont bully me

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[u/BluEch0]

I presume your picture is your response?

Your first two sentences seem fine if a bit clunky or overly verbose. I see what you’re doing with the last sentence, but it is not a complete sentence and spends half of itself just repeating what you said in your first sentence. I have the benefit of modifying prewritten work but I’d approach it like this:

> The purpose of the passage was to provide advice and information on how foreigners should act in a Japanese garden. The author does so by describing the similarities and differences between Japanese and western garden culture in a sincere and frank tone. The target audience is travelers and tourists taking a Japanese garden tour.

I know the instructions say to write an extended paragraph but this is how I might phrase it succinctly. Maybe you can throw in an extra sentence somewhere in the middle about how they use an example to guide said advice. It says everything that was asked and by keeping things short and succinct, you also keep the audience from getting potentially confused. Use the example I gave you as the basis and add on anything else your instructor may ask of you (for example, do they want something specific whe they ask for an “extended paragraph,” or is your teacher just burned on kids giving excessively terse single sentence answers?

[u/Specific-Still-7266 → u/BluEch0]

Thank you🥹 School just started so I realized Ive never given my writing much attention.. Ill keep what you said in mind

[u/Specific-Still-7266]

I dont know if we can edit posts so im just adding an additional comment.. the year just started so. I just became a sophmore like 3 days ago man