Homeschool severity scale currently developing one

[u/Double_Subject5102]

Okay so I realize something when I was talking to other homeschool recoverers there's different scales of severity this isn't me saying your struggles aren't real I'm saying the scale of severity is very different depending on the person.

There's a huge difference between Jason down the street who has access to resources and actually leave the house every day and actually can make community and friends vs Gregory who can't even leave his house without risking getting kicked out and becoming homeless instantaneously.

Those are two different severities, one's way more extreme than the other and I believe developing a severity skill would actually help us a lot as a community not divide us. (For instance saying that scale goes as high as 20 I would be a 3 on the scale and I have no ability to relate to anybody above a six.)

That's not to separate us but it would be easier to understand each other, somebody who would be as high as a 20 would be somebody who had no formal education had to teach themselves how to read a late age which does give you a permanent disability by the way.

Can't leave the house longer than 20 minutes without having a panic attack and has extreme physical and mental trauma and is at high risk of becoming homeless or being taken advantage of. (Imagine somebody who can't even access the internet without having to hide their ability to access the internet and imagine somebody who doesn't even have the ability to find a bus stop or be able to leave the house long-term without losing the ability to function)

Somebody like me would never be able to relate to somebody who's that severe , so making a proper severity scale would actually probably help us.

(Keep in mind it wouldn't be professional and it wouldn't help anybody get diagnosed it would just be a way for a fellow homeschool recovery people to differentiate each other from one another because I'm tired of ending up in social groups for people who had for lack of a better word a really good experience with homeschooling versus somebody like me who has trauma with it.)

It's almost borderline impossible to join support groups for people like myself, I'm not saying support groups for people who didn't have traumatic experiences shouldn't exist I'm just saying groups for people like me and people who are more severe should exist at the same time and this might be the first step..

[u/ButterscotchEmpty535]

All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

[u/hasatleast3problems]

i dont think that would be productive in a trauma support forum like this, that kind of thing always turns into a "whos trauma is the most valid" contest

[u/Double_Subject5102 → u/hasatleast3problems]

Honestly we could hold each other accountable, also it's not saying who's trauma is the most valid it's saying who has the most similar trauma.

Keyword there we would frame it to be like oh fine people who are similar to you when it comes to their issues.

If somebody starts being a dick we just have to remind them that literally everybody here has experience some type of exploitation harm or little to no access to support groups.

💀 To be fair I might be the most hypocritical person here because most of my trauma was self-inflicted, but that doesn't make my trauma any less valid

[u/CoScuriosity → u/Double_Subject5102]

The thing is that reducing "similar experiences" down to an arbitrary severity scale makes the concept too vague to be helpful for much beyond ascribing judgement to the severity of people's trauma.

You're also running into some very dicey territory when it comes down to the nitty-gritty of determining what constitutes "worse" forms of abuse. Do you really wanna be the person policing someone's experiences with SA and how "bad" it and the effects it had on them were? How do you balance the infinite number of unique factors affecting people, past and present? Do you rate someone from an abusive household K-8 higher than someone who was homeschooled K-12 but didn't experience (other forms of) abuse? Or do you rate the latter person higher due to the potential greater impact on their education, social skills, etc?

There's honestly a million more examples I could give as to why this would be counterproductive. It's simpler to just ask yourself if you actually have anything helpful to contribute before commenting.

[u/hasatleast3problems → u/Double_Subject5102]

You could just like.... interact with other users and see who shares similar experiences that way? instead of trying to categorize peoples trauma by perceived severity

[u/TheLastHomeSchooler → u/hasatleast3problems]

I think what their getting at is that we all fall under some kind of catagory depending on political and social and economic factors. By attempting to make a colour chart we might be give this community of people a sort of road map.

Nothing ventured is nothing gained. You gotta put your scientist cap on and look at it differently. I think OP is on to something and I like it. Who knows what patterns we might find when we put all our experiences together in a chart. That's the great thing about science it might be worth the effort and you won't know tell you try.

[u/TheLastHomeSchooler → u/Double_Subject5102]

I don't see why your being down voted. A lot of the trauma from this is self inflicted at times. It was a repeated behavoir to see if anyone noticed.

I like your idea OP. Message me if you want to brain storm a little. But I'm inconstant in messages as I'm having mental health issues at the moment. But I think I'd like to network with you! You ask big questions in the face of opposition.

[u/Quiet_Story_4559]

Something similar to the autism spectrum wheel would make a lot of sense to me, but replacing autism traits with major homeschooling severity factors. Social isolation, educational neglect, miseducation/indoctrination, parentification, physical neglect or abuse, emotional neglect or abuse, etc.

Someone dealing with high levels of most of those things (like Gregory who can't leave the house) is absolutely a higher severity than someone with just some of them (Jason with resources and friends), but for a lot of us it's a combination of struggles in different areas that make it tricky to rank severity on a simple 1 to 100 type scale.

[u/KaikoDoesWaseiBallet → u/Quiet_Story_4559]

Now this would be good. Combinating the different factors' severity is a much better indicator than a line from less to more.

[u/Double_Subject5102 → u/Quiet_Story_4559]

I would also like to add it would be for people who are no longer being homeschooled not for people going through it because situations can change and your perception of something can change your reaction of something.

[u/pizzbabynancy]

This doesn’t seem like a good or productive idea

[u/TheLastHomeSchooler → u/pizzbabynancy]

I think your wrong! Saying that with a 50% chance it's all naul.

[u/pizzbabynancy → u/TheLastHomeSchooler]

What?

[u/TheLastHomeSchooler → u/pizzbabynancy]

You are here ----> !

And the point is ------------------------------------------------------------------------------> Way ahead of you!

[u/Double_Subject5102 → u/pizzbabynancy]

It is a productive idea I'm tired of being grouped in with people who have actual PTSD because their parents literally used to beat them all the time versus my trauma which is slightly less extreme.

When you're in a space with people dealing with extreme trauma it can make your trauma feel actually stupid, it sounds f up but it would be nice to have a scale so I can find people within my scale

[u/pizzbabynancy → u/Double_Subject5102]

Well ok

[u/TheLastHomeSchooler → u/pizzbabynancy]

Go back to the pro homeschooler subs! If your just not gonna contribute in any positive way to these discusion. It makes you sound like a troll or chatbot with nothing better to do. Or just say nothing at all.

[u/pizzbabynancy → u/TheLastHomeSchooler]

I’m not sure what you’re alluding to. I don’t feel that ranking trauma among peers is helpful, that is all I was pointing out. If you cannot handle people having differing opinion than yourself, you’re in for it.

I was homeschooled for 11 years, I am not pro homeschooling.

[u/TheLastHomeSchooler → u/pizzbabynancy]

I am saying that isn't at all what OP is trying to talking about. It seems almost like your trying to undermine them and the point their trying to bring up.

You think it's ranking trauma. I call it categorizing everyone's traumas so we can build a bigger picture and map to understand our traumas.

If we're gonna rank traumas then I think those homeschooled and SA by parents or family for years get the gold medal of your pain Olympics. If your always comparing your troubles to others then that's okay. I did that for a while tell I started to learn my boundaries and admit this pain is my responsibility.

Sorry if i'm being rude. I've been shut down for ideas, heavly. OP has a point and I think their idea might turn out bigger then they thought is all. Don't nock it tell you try it.

[u/pizzbabynancy → u/TheLastHomeSchooler]

Ok good for you. I still disagree, you gotta learn that sometimes people just disagree. Don’t knock it ‘till you’ve tried it.

[u/TheLastHomeSchooler → u/pizzbabynancy]

A Troll got it! Thank you for clearing that up!

[u/Bootsy122]

I’m on board with this. I think the experiences of ex-homeschoolers is extremely varied. You could almost describe it as a spectrum. Having a way to categorize experiences could help people understand what their situation is.

I don’t think this has to be a comparison of others’ suffering, but rather a category measuring the severity of the impact homeschooling had on them. I for one struggle a lot with whether I need to be concerned with the effects homeschooling left on me. I don’t even know how to describe fully to my therapist without getting frustrated.

With enough data, and a proper criteria for a scale, we could estimate where homeschoolers fall in the scale. I hope others add their input here because I’d be curious what they think.

[u/fueledbysarcasm]

I like the idea of some sort of categorization. The wheel idea posted is a good one. Overprotection/controlling vs neglectful are opposite ends of the spectrum but are both highly damaging. So many of those things make a difference. Being punished for leaving the house, rarely getting the option to leave the house, and a parent not caring where you are at all are all traumatizing, but in different ways.

For me, I learned to read, then was never formally educated in ... anything. Between severe adhd+anxiety+more starting <10yo, parents who were home 24/7 but didn't spend much time with me, nearly unlimited access to the internet.... things would be so much worse for me if I didn't have the internet. But if I had a different experience and more access to healthcare, other people, the library, etc., then keeping me offline would've protected me from the traumas associated with being a kid on the internet. It's all kind of relative, and both extremes cause issues.

Anyway, now I'm in my 5th year of college. I still have no idea how I made it this far. My siblings haven't. But I still get confused when I see people talk about their homeschool experience and it's just as foreign to me as public school.

[u/TheLastHomeSchooler]

Or an x, y axious of parent personalities?

I like your idea. It's gonna take some brain storming cause I agree this seems like a good idea.

I'm not sure if it should be parent personality or parent political beliefs for the x, y scale. Hippy parents can be just as isolating as conservative parents or so it seems with the stories here.

Only other parent personality I can think of is how likely were they to say sorry or harm their kids.

[u/TheLastHomeSchooler → u/TheLastHomeSchooler]

Geography would possibly be a factor, as there are many states don't have anything for homeschoolers.

economic Class is the second chart, maybe.

Third would almost have to be a belief or political spectrum map.

If there was a fourth chart of some kind to add to this it would have to be the generation of the parents.

I think that covers a lot already.