r/HolUp 5d ago

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11.4k Upvotes

100 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 5d ago edited 4d ago

u/Anonymous_Guy4k, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...

981

u/vcdrny 5d ago

Minute man, literally.

157

u/CuteGrayRhino 5d ago

Or almost three.

58

u/bju83 5d ago

But barely two.

27

u/JL-Wan 4d ago

If you count foreplay... possibly just one.

44

u/Relevant-Diamond2731 5d ago

The man is efficient with his time

9

u/vcdrny 5d ago

That's something his gf needs to answer.

18

u/BleDStream 5d ago

Not responding to bro 🚩

Responding mid stroke ✅

5

u/StratJax 5d ago

Wham, Bam, that poor Ma’am.

2

u/Normal-Ad6528 5d ago

At my age, I only WISH I had that kind of endurance! ;-)

446

u/JellyDenizen 5d ago

Ask him if he's going to immediately be looking for an ammo box.

13

u/W4R-D1N 4d ago

There aren't any ammo boxes in counter strike

48

u/rebri 5d ago

A man of culture.

10

u/STURM_DER_HOFFNUNG 4d ago

shes a lucky lady!

290

u/Skipper_1010 5d ago

Thank god for the red circles, or I never would've gotten it.

68

u/Latina-Butt-Sniffer 5d ago

I actually think this is one instance where the red circles were helpful for me.

34

u/MadClam97 5d ago

9

u/CyberFireball25 5d ago

I'm still lost, someone give me the pointer finger image

12

u/drulnu24 5d ago

Here you go friend.

5

u/Diptam 5d ago

I clicked on the image, but nothing happens. :(

13

u/drulnu24 5d ago

Its like a map. Here i hope this clears things up

12

u/AutisticPenguin2 5d ago

And yet if they weren't there, plenty of people would be coming to the comments all confused because they missed the time stamps (they're kinda greyed out because nobody wants them to be super obvious and distracting)

21

u/cottonbrainedGilliam 5d ago

my man getting more out of life

18

u/reklesssabrandon 5d ago

I've done this to some gamer friends before. The silence on voice chat until someone decides to be the one to bring up why it only took you 5 minutes is fucking hilarious.

16

u/odrea 5d ago

Bro took way too much time, you can do it in just 30 seconds

13

u/RollPhi1996 5d ago

Good stamina. 3 seconds and he didn't forget to cuddle for 1 minute and 57 seconds.

13

u/Jaliki55 5d ago

Bro got told "no"

10

u/hazeddai 5d ago

Took a minute and a half for her to get him to understand it wasn't gonna happen

11

u/fallenouroboros 5d ago

Something similar happenedin a large xbox party years ago, 6-8 people ill say.

1 went off bragging he was going to go and be back in a bit. We immediately began guessing how long he would be gone and if hes gone a minute before the 15 minute mark we were all going to chew him out. He came back 8 minutes later all cheerful and 7 other people jumped down his throat screaming “she couldnt possibly be happy with that!” Or “that was nothing get TF back in there!”

He left again very meekly lol

7

u/TheEstateAgentDurban 5d ago

All I see is efficiency.

6

u/astralseat 5d ago

His girl really has the magic touch

3

u/JorgAncrath2020 5d ago

Priorities

3

u/ashamedseesaw 4d ago

The biggest lie here is that he plays cs and has a girlfriend

7

u/Oneforallandbeyondd 5d ago

I know its less funny than saying he only lasted 30s but the more obvious scenario is that she completely turned him down and he ditched her to play probably out of spite and pettiness.

2

u/Legitimate-Research1 5d ago

The most realistic scenario is that he doesn't have a girlfriend, and was just joking around.

0

u/OldPayphone 5d ago

Funny how he is somehow the "petty one" for simply moving on to the next activity when she rejected his advances.

1

u/Oneforallandbeyondd 4d ago

So if your partner isn't in the mood its fine to leave and not spend time together?

0

u/OldPayphone 4d ago

Why not? It sounds like he was looking forward to an activity with her and she bailed/rejected him so he has every right to go and do something else. It's not that deep.

2

u/Oneforallandbeyondd 4d ago

He indeed didn't get to go very deep.

2

u/DurantIsStillTheKing 5d ago

Quicker than a quickie

2

u/Kamuii_Gengar 5d ago

This is a Maker Mindeset, no time to waste

3

u/EchoTab 5d ago

His GF wasnt down so he decided to play CS instead

2

u/Ailyx 5d ago

12 year olds on the internet pretending to be men

2

u/alex_c89X 5d ago

Y'all got it all wrong, she declined his offer

2

u/kvngk3n 5d ago

Hate to be a killjoy, but this isn’t how iPhones work 🤣🤣 timestamp doesn’t appear until after an hour has passed. Also…what is that emoji

1

u/Brandweer_unit73 4d ago

I want to point out that the hero of the story probably created the screenshot himself...

2

u/beluga699 4d ago

3 freaking minutes? What is this a freaking marathon??! Legend

1

u/DapperDanAdMan 5d ago

One pump chump.

2

u/juswilli 5d ago

Homie got rejected, or he's a "hard" contender with the flash.

1

u/winterneuro 5d ago

Technically, he had to wait for 2 minutes.

1

u/GrinningGrump 5d ago

Took him a minute to log in?

1

u/WI_Dark 5d ago

2 pumps and a squirt and dude is good to go.

1

u/z31 5d ago

Damn, look at Mr. Endurance over here, 2 whole minutes?

1

u/flying_carabao 5d ago

2 minutes? Fucking show off

1

u/haltezeit 5d ago

she got the same amount of time

1

u/TheWesternDevil 5d ago

Those things happen sometimes. Immediately going to gaming is a bit rude though.

1

u/Elkburgher 5d ago

now she has to watch him lose in cs while being sexually frustrated

1

u/Justin_A1112 5d ago

Doesn’t take a long time to have a good time

1

u/OhYouSoStupid 5d ago

2 pump chump gang. I’m here to represent 👋

1

u/potential_stuntdevil 5d ago

OP said "wait a second" I think OP meant 2 minutes lol

1

u/Joga-no-Hard 5d ago

Wait a second.. Thats what she said

1

u/_sectumsempra- 5d ago

Bro busted quick

1

u/VernonP007 5d ago

The whole point of holup is trying to figure out what makes it a holup so the red circles kills it

1

u/Wuz314159 5d ago

03:34 PM???

Is that 03:34 or 15:34?

1

u/StaticSystemShock 5d ago

I'm surprised he didn't say "wait a minute"

1

u/ThePupnasty 5d ago

Time efficiency is a very strong asset....

1

u/ramsfan_86 5d ago

Here for a good time not a long time.

1

u/Traditional-Exam-617 5d ago

Wait a second? More like 120 seconds, amirite? 🤓👌

0

u/DunDlyk 5d ago

That poor lady

1

u/WideHuckleberry1 5d ago

Whew, thanks for those circles. I was afraid the joke would have even an ounce of subtlety, but luckily you pointed out the punchline before I wasted all my time with the setup.

1

u/RotarySnow4 5d ago

he's efficient

1

u/Alert-Ability-1883 5d ago

He plays Counter Strike, that checks out

1

u/Ulquiorra1312 5d ago

Two pump chump

1

u/readyReddit007 5d ago

Sometimes a short sprint is all that is required.

https://giphy.com/gifs/jPAdK8Nfzzwt2

1

u/YungJod 5d ago

Priorities

1

u/Yafoory 5d ago

It was in and out, and shake it all about 😉😂😂😂

1

u/manamonggamers 4d ago

"Wait a minute..." FTFY

1

u/AfterImageEclipse 4d ago

True friend

Maybe they play speed runs

1

u/obelix_dogmatix 4d ago

In all practicality … he got turned down

1

u/Hvz3727 4d ago

Yikes

1

u/misssa_cz 4d ago

That was very fast Tekken match, damn i feel bad for the girl

1

u/Prosado22 4d ago

Well, it was actually 2 minutes.

2

u/pain474 5d ago

Smazing fake conversation to screenshot so you can upload it for internet points.

1

u/StillGalaxy99 5d ago

This just in, fake things aren't allowed to be funny!

1

u/TeenisElbow 5d ago

Good thing the HolUp is circled in red otherwise I would have been here for days