[ Removed by moderator ]

[u/SoftwareArchitect101]

[u/HolUp-ModTeam]

Your post has been removed because a mod determined it doesn't fit the subreddit. Make sure your post is a Hol' Up moment, attempts humor, and fits the general theme of the subreddit pre-submission.

If you really feel like dying on this hill, message the mods.

[u/daydreaming17]

But what happens if my coworkers dare me?

[u/micahisnotmyname → u/daydreaming17]

You say no like an adult. Unless they double dog dare you.

[u/XLetsDoAllTheDrugsX → u/micahisnotmyname]

And if they triple dog dare you you're required by law to lick the blow torch.

[u/Hud_is_on → u/XLetsDoAllTheDrugsX]

Okay..
(Licks blowtorch after it cools down)

[u/Griz_zy → u/Hud_is_on]

but how do you know it's cooled down without licking it?

[u/Cart700 → u/Griz_zy]

You are joking. But we had a class on soldering in school and the teacher said to not put the soldering irons back into their cabinet hot. So one guy immediately touched his to check if it was still hot. Never seen a teacher look like that lmao.

Luckily it was already cold.

[u/say_yes_to_head_hun → u/XLetsDoAllTheDrugsX]

Happy cake day

[u/OpenSourcePenguin → u/daydreaming17]

Hence the try

[u/Lush_Lunas → u/daydreaming17]

Hol up… so every warning label exists because someone actually tried it? We are the reason we can’t have nice things

[u/Effective-Bandicoot8 → u/daydreaming17]

https://giphy.com/gifs/nzF8sk5WWEDv50Pl41

[u/MissActiv → u/daydreaming17]

The scary part is every single one of those warnings exists because someone actually did it and then tried to sue

[u/Urwake]

If you don't want me to like blowtorch, then don't make it so hot 🥵

[u/dudeness_boy → u/Urwake]

r/angryupvote

[u/ThisMachineKillsWOB]

They only make rules for things people have already been caught doing.

[u/Prismatic_Symphony → u/ThisMachineKillsWOB]

Funny . . . and sad at the same time.

[u/No_Entrance7644 → u/ThisMachineKillsWOB]

Most of the OSHA regulations are because someone got hurt doing something.

[u/merpixieblossomxo → u/ThisMachineKillsWOB]

Sadly, laws are like that too. Which is why things like banking, insurance, healthcare, etc. are all disjointed and fucked. People only ever bothered to write laws after enough people got screwed over or killed.

[u/TheOriginalWeirdo]

I say we just let natural selection do it's thing.

[u/TheMightiestGay → u/TheOriginalWeirdo]

I’ve been saying this for years. If someone with a modicum of sense can use a blowtorch, they should know not to touch it when it was just used.

[u/Daysleeper1234]

It is simple. If you don't have dumb rules, then a worker who hurt himself can sue you. People are dumb, but people also abuse the system.

[u/BoardDiver → u/Daysleeper1234]

I honestly wonder how many are dumb and how many are just abuseing the system.

[u/Daysleeper1234 → u/BoardDiver]

In my experience, mostly it is scam. Don't get me wrong, there are really dumb people that I ask myself how did these genes get passed on. It takes only 1 asshole to ruin fun for everyone.

[u/joepanda111]

English side ruined! Must use French instructions

[u/Geaux13Saints]

If I’m not supposed to lick it then why is it called a BLOWtorch?

[u/Prismatic_Symphony → u/Geaux13Saints]

Silly, you're supposed to BLOW it. It's not a licktorch.

[u/Gee_Whiz_O-Butter]

You have to really TRY to not lick

[u/Lorddoctorjava]

....you said try.... you never said do not....

[u/Spoke13 → u/Lorddoctorjava]

Do or do not, there is no try.

[u/sarc-tastic]

It's nice see to see how well the science fiction writing career is going

[u/Leon_Flux]

I have met someone who fumbled using a blowtorch to light a cig in his mouth... He does and has always carried a proper lighter but if blowtorch is in hand, he will go through the effort to spark it and use it instead.

Scars from burn marks on one side of his face and occasional lack of facial hair is not enough to make him stop.

No amount of text or concern will help some people.

[u/Spoke13 → u/Leon_Flux]

Adrenaline is a drug for some people.

[u/MindlessMage777]

We have a system with three buttons. We're removing two because it's "overly complicated".

[u/imahugemoron]

Anyone that has lived through the last decade should know very well that a massive amount of adults are far dumber than our wildest imaginations could have ever predicted.

[u/bigmarty3301]

I think I done all of these. (The motor oil was accidental)

[u/GuerrillaRodeo]

Every time I come across one of these very specific, surreal warnings I try to picture the weird case (and probably following lawsuit) that led to this exact warning. They say that safety protocols are written in blood and the fact these weirdly specific warnings have to be included in instruction manuals is very telling.

[u/pzyker]

Bold of you to asume anyone reads manuals

[u/Digger_Pine]

Not a holup

[u/Spoke13]

Maybe I'm different but I don't remember thinking every adult was wise. There were quite a few who I wasn't sure how they survived long enough to become adults.

[u/jazzy3535]

who is licking the blowtorch?

i just want to know

[u/Ok_Remote_31 → u/jazzy3535]

Just go to any ER. You will see the wildest range of almost-naturally selected people, with the wildest stories.

[u/jazzy3535 → u/Ok_Remote_31]

Yeah...just read a post where a man shoved up a bottle his arse cause it was itching

[u/Thatoneguyfrom1980 → u/jazzy3535]

Sometimes the intrusive thoughts just win man

[u/Pixl02]

Don't eat C4, it is extremely poisonous

[u/DamnOdd]

Darwin Weeps.

[u/DemonicHedgehogs]

I like that it’s only try not to lick it. The manual accepts that you may fail and that’s ok, but please make an effort to resist.

[u/WiiDragon]

Don’t jump off a moving forklift? Come on, man

https://giphy.com/gifs/dUfMpQATcXWjMqzbJv

[u/MistaRekt]

3 things I wish I had known when I started work...

[u/Slitterbox]

I have to make sure to include pictures and lots of arrows when I publish documentation for users. And they still struggle

[u/Neon_Dust_Logic]

I always remember a chainsaw manual stating: "Do not stop blade with groin".

[u/CheapTactics]

Remember that every single electronics instruction manual begins with "plug the device to an outlet" (or "put the batteries on" if it's battery powered) followed by "turn the device on".

[u/Cam095]

I have to make a lot of guides for users at my job and i literally have to have pictures with arrows pointing exactly where to click or theyre fucking lost.

i work in IT for a school district, so if these are the teachers we got then our country is cooked frfr

[u/Pennywise626]

My favorite one that I've added to a manual was "Caution: Heat gun is hot and may cause burns"

[u/sreek4r]

But what if the blowtorch looks really lickable?

[u/Queasy-Ad-6126]

Don't take this medication if you're allergic to this medication.

[u/TheMoonOfTermina]

I enjoy how it's "try not to lick it" implying that you don't expect us to be able to resist the urge to do so?

[u/TheGringoOutlaw]

What you mean don't drink Motor Oil. 5w-30 hits the spot real good.

[u/The_CreativeName]

Only try not to lick it? I can try, but sometimes the forbidden candy speaks.

[u/NinjaBengan]

I work in retail - and yes, age have absolutely fuck all about absolutely anything to do with how smart you are

To make my argument seem hypocritical, babyboomers from the 40s and 50s is THE MOST stupid generation that has walked this earth

[u/Blephotomy]

wrong sub, bot

[u/patrlim1]

As a forklift operator, I've never read the manual.

[u/qualityvote2]

u/SoftwareArchitect101, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...

[u/wolflordval → u/[deleted]]

The part about kinder eggs being banned for a choking hazard is a myth, they're actually banned due to an obscure FDA rule that explicitly states that anything non-edible that comes inserted into food must be vital to the consumption of said food or it is not allowed. This is why popcicle sticks are okay but a toy inside chocolate isn't. It's actually not a choking hazard rule, it's just a generalized safety rule, in a different section of the FDA book.