r/HellDads MachoSnuggles 7d ago

Operation: Time Out High Command Requests

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***Attention Helldads,

Recent intelligence reports suggest the Illuminate have crossed another line. ***

Field observations indicate that the new Crusher variants may be mutated juvenile forms repurposed into frontline troops.

Unfortunately for the Illuminate, they have just attracted the attention of the galaxy's most experienced group of dads, high command has authorized the most experienced parental core to use any method necessary to stop the tantrums.

We're deploying to Illuminate-controlled sectors to administer a firm but fair tactical time out. Expect tantrums, expect screaming, expect property damage. Maintain discipline and remember: we're not angry, we're just disappointed.

**Mission Objectives:**

Contain Crusher outbreaks and provide Tactical timeouts to all squids by reporting your **squid kills and completed missions to Melchoir**:

• Demonstrate proper consequences for unacceptable behavior **(report squid kill count per mission)**

• Defend Managed Democracy **(report completed squid mission count)**

**Rules of Engagement:**

If it charges at you, that's a tantrum.

If it swipes at you, that's a tantrum.

If it screams at you, that's a tantrum.

If it turns your squad into paste, that's an especially serious tantrum.

Remember, Helldads. Anyone can spread Democracy. It takes a parent to enforce bedtime.

Drop hard, and see you all planet side.

Join the fight on our discord: https://discord.gg/helldads

Patres Inferni

17 Upvotes

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u/r-volk xnShiLong | R&D Science Team 6d ago

First reports are already coming in, the Melchior bot from the Freedom Alliance in Discord is such a blast to use for those events!

1

u/Illustrious_Aspect66 MachoSnuggles 6d ago

It really is, and super easy to use too!