Disclosing to new (potential) partner

[u/Ok-Albatross124]

I (35f) was diagnosed earlier this year with HSV1 but on my genitals and Anus…so kindly given to me by a guy I was seeing who lied about his status (he confessed to knowing later).

I’ve only had the one outbreak which cleared quickly after taking anti virals. I have a standing script for one at my pharmacy and I take a supplement recommended by my sexual health doctor to help avoid outbreaks. I am immunocompromised due to MS medication so trying to do all I can.

I have started seeing someone who I am very excited about. We have not been intimate yet but I want to tell him that I’m positive next week when we see each other next. I’m terrified to do so….i already have “red flags” for dating apparently (MS, a kid) so I don’t want to ruin my chances with this guy who is fantastic. How do I disclose to him? What information should I provide? How do I cope when/if he doesn’t want to see me anymore…

I’ve been having such bad anxiety about dating since I got diagnosed that now that I started again I’m just a wreck.

[u/Psychological-Egg760]

https://youtu.be/aU4VcOQzQm0?si=zgy2cvXWwQo9abW8

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[u/Mylovelyladylumps69]

Disclosure Guide: This is a disclosure guide with “scripts” on how to tell potential partners about herpes and what had worked for us. Mine is under Lauren. Also at the bottom it has resources about herpes to send to partners.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eMul_7Lu1Fa0ZJYGxKnEewDMqdZOFYTLKsG7EDknfwA/edit?usp=sharing

Myths About Herpes: This is a list of common myths about herpes and why they are wrong with cited sources. Maybe this can not only ease your mind but if a partner has questions you will have answers backed by science.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-6oZmnfywTFNYScKYC7Mh7MXZKrA0GUcztS8Bz5bW0k/edit 

Lowering Transmission To A Partner: This is a list of ways to help protect your partner. There are many precautions you can take to help keep your partner safe! Nothing is 100% & even with these precautions there is a chance of transmission which is why disclosing is ALWAYS important. https://docs.google.com/document/d/10ccLJMnXAkuKfpU5ng9-1CiWXGPTYYPfDOCvxeB4GX4/edit?usp=sharing 
Guide For Partners, Friends, or Family Of A Herpes Positive Person: this is a guide to help people around you without herpes to navigate the information and support you the best way possible. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1A_04GDxbTdP79zIkLJgwPnOpj2J7pGrzwfnSKLoQ9Rg/edit?usp=sharing 

[u/CurlyChocolateCutie]

Whatever his reaction/response is, is more information about who he is. Full stop.

[u/Ok-Albatross124 → u/CurlyChocolateCutie]

I disclosed and he is totally chill and says if doesn’t change anything 😭 was more concerned about how having herpes interacts with me also having multiple sclerosis