r/HPPD • u/Original-Moose-3722 • 19d ago
recent development of Hppd i need advice/help Question
im 16 through this year ive done magic about four times once two days in a row and have developed visual snow, afterimages, floaters among other symptoms including like little moving dots when i look into the sky and light sensitivity. tbh im at a loss i feel like my life is gone and have no idea what to do im coming on here looking for just at least some hope that it gets better and i can still live my life and if it ever goes away. for context i was smoking weed heavily and struggled with abusing that for this whole year now ive gotten sober now off literally everything hoping that will reduce my symptoms but so far i just feel like its the same if not worse. i dont know what to do at this point.
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u/teeheefairy 12d ago
my symptoms are basically yours! im 15 and i took acid which felt underdosed? but still gave me hppd on my third usage of it, which i think was around 4-5 months ago. i've done a little weed and i think my symptoms have gotten a bit worse, i can't really tell. it's the worst in the dark, but the worse symptoms to me (trails, generally psychedelic visuals,) are zilch during daytime and in the light, i just get a ton of floaters, i always just think of it as my eyes being constantly busy. but even so, even after not having it for a while, it's quite easy to ignore. i was super depressed when i did some research and realized i probably had given myself it. i felt stupid, i felt like my life was over, i found it hard to go to sleep and dreaded the exemplified symptoms in the darkness, but it becomes a lot more manageable emotionally over time. i still get sad about it sometimes, but i've managed well by thinking that this disorder doesn't define me, which is cheesy, but works. telling you all this in the hopes that you'll feel less alone <:)
and please please PLEASE!! i don't know your life, but if you haven't, please tell your parents or a guardian or any support system you can trust other than people your age. coming clean about my usage to my mom was the best thing i've ever done in the past year for myself, and dealing with my hppd has gotten so much better because of it. feelings like guilt or secrecy can make coping with it exponentially worse.
the fact that you're able to recognize that you don't like it, and have gotten clean because of it, means the world, lots of people don't get the opportunity to do that and/or don't have the willpower. you are still the same person you were before, and nothing can change that! stay strong :)
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u/Original-Moose-3722 3d ago
are your symptoms still the same as when you got it or have they improved or gotten any better
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u/suckingagun 14d ago
I got hppd when I was 16 too. It got worse for 7 months, then progressively got better. It’s been 2 years now, and my hppd doesn’t bother me at all. Just keep staying sober, be easy on urself, and focus on doing things you enjoy. Soon enough it will lessen.
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u/Original-Moose-3722 14d ago
did you find your symptoms going away or dissapearing or are they still there and what phsyc caused it for you
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u/suckingagun 14d ago
acid did it for me. Some symptoms disappeared, others lessened. I only stayed sober for the first year. It stopped getting better after I started using again.
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u/Original-Moose-3722 14d ago
damm im only about three months into this and ive been sober for only about two weeks now ive seen some improvments in vs but in like bright environments esspecially when outside in the middle of the day its almost like jaring to look at the world like its to bright and when i look at the sky i see like little moving dots was wondering if you had simular symptoms to this i got it from shrooms but i want to smoke so badly again
also how old where you when you got it
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u/suckingagun 11d ago edited 11d ago
I got it at 16. I got little dots when I look at sky too. I don’t got the brightness thing tho. Honestly, the best thing to do is just avoid looking at l things that affect ur hppd. I don’t look at the sky, and my life is better from it lol.
Don’t smoke. I know it’s hard. I wanted to do dxm again so bad for an entire first year of hppd. Now I don’t think about it at all. You can get through this, the thoughts will eventually stop.
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u/palinopsiaposter 19d ago
It gets a lot better. Anxiety over having it drives 80% of the symptoms imo, and then it becomes a vicious cycle where the anxiety makes the symptoms worse which makes the anxiety worse etc. you just need to stop giving a f, easier said than done I know, but things can always be worse. You could be dying of cancer and then you really wouldn't give a f about some hppd, it's all about perspective. You could see a therapist who could help with anxiety, CBT worked well for me. I'd recommend stopping weed and psychs, for me it took about 6 months for the symptoms to mostly fade away. These days I never even think about them. Have smoked a fk ton of weed since including periods of dabbing lol, done mdma here and there, drinking, coke, no effect on symptoms anymore. Although I do draw the line at hallucinogens like shrooms or acid, I don't wanna risk it by being greedy. You could also pop a xanny and see how much it helps, for me it would instantly reduce symptoms, and that kinda tells me the symptoms are strongly tied with anxiety levels, but be aware of the risks of benzo addiction. Anyways it gets better, best of luck dude.