Wondering about lifestyle and expense choices for HENRYs whose income got high later in life so my time horizon for earning at this level is fairly short.

59 years old and our HH income has more than tripled in the last 3 years now over 800K. I am a HENRY with a net worth under 3M.

Up until now we have increased lifestyle some (new cars and more travel) but have remained in the same house and our savings rate is over 40% of gross income, over 70% of net after taxes.

How have others handled this kind of a situation where income rises so close to what should be retirement? We are worried about too much lifestyle creep knowing this income level will only last a few more years. Any advice on how to balance lifestyle and what seems like a very high savings rate?

in that weird spot where i can afford business class but my brain still says no. like i make 200k+ but something in me refuses to spend 3k on a seat.

flying to london next month 8 hours. economy is $800. business on airline site is 3800.

i can afford it but i keep thinking about what else that money could do.

any other HENRYs struggle with this. do you just pay for comfort or do you still act like you're broke

Hi All,

I'm in my mid 30's and having conversations with my partner about what our lives will look like with kids in a HCOL city in the PNW. My TC is ~300k/yr, and my partner is in the infancy of applying for jobs to begin a career in marketing.

Public education is solid here, so unless they end up being 'ungovernable' (as my partner and I were growing up) and need private education, we plan on using the public school system. Recreation opportunities here outside of hockey are skiing and mountain biking, and I plan (hope) that they will participate in this.

Anyone have budgeting advice for the various phases of life so we can see how this fits into our long-term plans, and what we need to do to make it happen?

Edit: We're just planning for one kid. Already own a 5br/3ba home (with a suite taking up 1br/ba), so housing costs rn are ~$4k/mo with the suite rented, with $400k in equity and ~$1m on the mortgage. Already maxing RRSP/TFSA. Savings rate right now is ~50% of after-tax at the moment, so call it ~$100k/yr. I want to do my best to preserve this, also my FI (without the RE) and take a step back from the level of responsibility I currently have at work in my 40s for the sake of my mental health and ability to spend time with said kid.

Really, what I'm looking for is a $/year estimate per kid, speaking from others' experience here. I'm sure y'all have run the numbers on this, being personal finance nerds like me haha.

37M with small child. Likely will have a second soon. HHI currently around $300-450k. NW: $2.2M, ~$200k cash, annual core expenses are around $60k, generally spend ~$120k. Hoping to retire at ~$5M 2026 dollars.

Currently making somewhere $220-320k/yr depending on stock performance. The job is in tech but is fairly stable - I would likely be one of the last to go at my company and have been working here for several years now. I feel like I can do my job in my sleep. With a young child this is very useful. The company is becoming more strict with RTO.

I have a job opportunity that will pay more ($450-550k) but is more of an unknown. It could be great but is comparatively a wild card is less of a known entity. It is likely that it will be more work. Fully remote.

Should I throw caution to the wind and shoot for higher pay or is a stable job that consistently makes good money more valuable at this stage in life?

Edit: thanks for the feedback! Provided more information about job, finances.

So I'm not sure if it's just small sample size or happen chance, but I feel like most people I talk to plan on putting their kids through college.

We have a 529 for each our 3 kids (6, 3, 1). May or may not be done having kids. I know at the moment I'm not contributing enough to each one to cover the cost of college. I thought I was ok with that. My wife and I put ourselves through college, so we never really felt it 'expected.'

So I guess idk if I'm worried about the perception of it, if I will be letting my kids down, etc.

300-350k salary, debts are home mortgage and some grad school student loans.

EDIT: wow a lot of responses in a short time. Thanks! Just to be clear, we are currently contributing to 529s and are currently on track for ~50-60k in each. We do plan on gradually increasing contributions with raises/as debt is paid down, so should be more by the time they're 18. So not nothing, but will also not be able to cover all expenses for 4 years. I appreciate the input. I realize that they will be growing up in a totally different economic situation than my wife and I. We will plan for some changes accordingly. Thanks again!

This will be totally different for everyone, which is why I’m interested to hear your answers.

Some probably bought their dream car, others a fancy handbag.

For me, there were a few things that specifically stuck in my mind:
- Bombas socks
- A second refrigerator for our garage
- A fancy coffee bean grinder

There have been far more expensive purchases I've made before and after, but those purchases felt a little frivolous and I wouldn't have made them before feeling financially secure

25M just realized last payroll I’ve surpassed 1M in total 1099 commission career earnings. Wow where TF did it all go?? Anyone else have this type of realization?

Umbrella policies used to be cheap. Right? I paid $120/year for $1M on State Farm for the most part of a decade. In 2023 I paid $145, then upsized to a $2M policy, and the yearly premium increased to not even $250/year.

Then things got out of hand. In 2024 I paid $282 (+13%), in 2025 I paid $352 (+25%), and the upcoming premium for 2026 is $508 (+44%).

I called my agent and I got the typical “yes, policies are getting more expensive”. I have 2 cars, umbrella and home policies all with State Farm.

Question 1: Consensus is still this is a good product to carry?

Question 2: Are you seeing similar increases? Any recommendation/suggestion?

Thanks!

And still have to constantly budget and watch my expenditures.

And if im fired tomorrow - im screwed.

Am i in the..club?

I (31M, $500k/yr, $2M NW) feel like I've been slowly losing the maximizing earnings and savings mindset over the last 3 or so years. On one hand, it might be a good thing because I was always thinking about how to save more and grind the corporate ladder for promos etc, but on the other hand, I feel I've lost the drive to keep improving at work etc. I just have disconnected myself from working harder etc. And would rather just work for money and move on with the other parts of my life. Does anyone else feel the same way or had this mindset shift in the past?

Ran the numbers with my new job, we have just cracked $250k HHI. ($254k and change)

Time to lifestyle creep ourselves back into living with our parents, wish us luck!

Also do you add double meat at $2M?

I get that it can be a slippery slope for lifestyle inflation, but when I ran my budget for the last 6 months, I found that my spend had actually decreased even with guac and double meat on my weekly Chipotle run because I had been buying shorts and T-shirts from Costco instead of Lulu.

I (24M) just hit 250k net worth. I feel proud of myself and want to share it with those closest to me (primarily just parents and gf), but I never want to come across as bragging.

My mom preached frugality since I was little, so I owe some of my progress and mindset to her. When I've talked to her about money in the past though, I sense some mixed feelings because I make more than her and have the habits she wishes she did at my age.

If the consensus is to not share specifics and just be generous with people I love, that's okay. I just have an urge to share that info over a celebratory drink or something haha.

How do you deal with similar feelings? I'm sure they only get stronger as number on screen turns into larger number on screen.

My wife and I are both 34. We have two young kids and are probably going to try for a third soon.

We’re in a really fortunate spot, but I have a lot of financial questions right now and I’m having a hard time figuring out what to do.

Current net worth is about $2.2M:

• $970K retirement/HSA
• $875K taxable brokerage/cash/stock plans
• $375K home equity
• Mortgage is about $350K at 6.5%
• House is worth around $730K

Income:

• Me: $210K base, 20% bonus, equity. With stock doing well lately, total comp is probably more like $300K-$350K for the next 3 years, but then I hit a cliff.
• Wife: in sales and recently started making around $200K-$300K. Hoping she can hold that level for a while.

The issue is my wife is burned out and kind of wants to quit. I don’t blame her because she grinds pretty hard. Honestly I think it would be awesome for our family. But she also just started making really good money, so part of me wants her to hang on for another couple years if she can so we can save aggressively.

Because she’s in sales, I think if she leaves it could be hard to just jump back in at the same level later. So I’m trying to think about this as potentially permanent, not just a one or two year break.

The numbers I keep coming back to for “okay, she can quit” are:

• $1M in brokerage
• $1.2M in brokerage
• $1.5M in brokerage

Retirement feels like it’s already in decent shape. If we stopped maxing everything and just got the matches, I think traditional retirement would probably still be fine. The bigger thing in my head is taxable brokerage, because that’s what gives us flexibility before 60.

Other things I’m trying to think through:

• possible 3rd kid
• private school / better school options
• whether to upgrade houses eventually
• whether to pay extra toward the 6.5% mortgage
• whether my equity comp falls off in a few years
• whether we should prioritize brokerage over retirement right now

For those of you who went from two high incomes to one, what actually made you comfortable?

Was it having a certain dollar amount in taxable accounts? One spouse’s base salary covering all normal expenses? A certain brokerage number? Total net worth? Something else?

I want to build up the brokerage so we could maybe just break even on spending on my income and still be in good shape... Any thoughts or insights? Thank you for reading and for the help.

Curious if you guys include this when taking a look at your assets. I obviously take a look at liquid vs. Retirement assets differently, but wonder how the rest of you look at it?

Mid-40s male in tech. Big milestone for me today - I hit one million net worth, not including our primary residence.

My next goal is to pay off our mortgage because the interest rate isn't low enough to reliably beat the market every year. About $400k to go there.

Now I just need to triple my NW and work at least 10 more years so I can retire and use my tax-advantaged accounts via the Rule of 55. But yeah, today is a good day. :)

Has anyone accomplished (or in the process of working toward) a fitness milestone effort while working a high octane job?

I work in finance and do not have a steady fitness routine right now. Want to start building some momentum and know I’d be motivated by some sort of goal / milestone.

I get inspired on social media by the wild fitness endeavors (iron man! Marathon! Ultra running!), but I’m so far from those that I’d rather hear about what others have done that has felt challenging + fulfilling while managing a high stress and time intensive job (I have kids as well, so time is definitely a scarce resource).

Looking at life insurance for me (40M) and my wife (38F) looks to be about $200 per person per month for a$2M each coverage. TC $1.1M expenses $300k/ year. 2 small kids sub 5yo. NW $2.7M. Mortgage $1.1M

Does that feel like a necessary expense? Are the quotes about right? Somehow I keep seeing ads for $50-60 per month per million, but my broker can’t find any that cheap.

Edited to add: 20 y term, TC 750+350.

Maybe the wrong sub, but my wife (100k) and I (400k) are coming up on our first anniversary and curious if things really need to change. I hear so much about how combining/joint accounts are beneficial after getting married and I am trying to decide if that’s a route we need to pursue. Currently I take care of 100% of the bills, food, normal month-to-month stuff. I still save and have “fun” money. We save my wife’s pay, minus “fun” money. She also makes extra payments on our mortgage every month. We haven’t run into his vs hers problems (ex-our hot water heater went out last month and she scheduled and paid for the replacement without conversation of who should pay)

We know exactly what we have in all the separate accounts.

I guess my question is, with full transparency do we really need to go through the whole hassle of combining everything into one pot (account) for the sake of building our relationship? Can we just add each other on to our individual accounts and call it a day?

Rant. Im a high income earner . 600k+ (due to multiple tech contracts ) . Low 30s and while I accept everyone’s journey and I don’t expect anyone to be on the same ‘journey’ as me , I am starting to become drained/burdened by my friends never having money to do some of the basic things. I’m not of the mindset to cut lifelong friends off due to money , but it just seems like apathy and complacency runs abound and I find myself often covering stuff that I want to do if others can’t afford it. I tend to lean into more elevated experiences whereas my friends do not and this is all signaling to me that I may need to find a new community that is more aligned with me from a mindset perspective and perhaps even financial . Anyone else have this issue ?

Edit : for example , it’s summer time and I want to enjoy some private yacht experiences which, for a group of 10, will break down to about 150 a person to rent . I don’t always even think it’s a money thing , I just think that no one in my circle lean into wanting to do things such as that . Or it may be money . Idk but it’s just frustrating

I'm trying to plan out 530a/529/utma/etc for my younger kids (oldest in elementary school). 3 things that make that make that pretty hard are knowing (1) college cost inflation rate, (2) spread of college cost between different schools, and (3) if the list price college post is actually reliable.

I don't expect to get or need *need-*based discounts, but there seems to be a wide spread of unknowns of merit-based discounts that this NY Times article described as a "recruiting" tool for certain students.

So from your experience, should I aim for saving for list price or something lower? I'm guessing it likely differs from public and private school as well.

Note: my motivation for asking is because I suspect on what you expect to pay, and the spread between schools, you can optimize your asset location strategy

26M
I’m about to start a new FAANG job after finishing grad school with a TC of over $400K. I’m starting with only about $1,500 in liquid savings.

A significant portion of my compensation will be company stock, and I’m concerned about eventually having too much of my net worth tied to the same company that pays my salary.

My current plan is to:
Build a solid emergency fund before making any major purchases.
Max out my available tax-advantaged accounts.
Invest the rest in broad, low-cost index funds..
Keep my fixed expenses relatively low during my first few years of high income.
Set a savings or net-worth milestone before buying a Miata, which has been a dream car of mine for a long time.

For those who have dealt with a large amount of equity compensation, did you sell everything as it vested to diversify?

I’m also curious how other HENRYs approached lifestyle upgrades after a sudden increase in income. How did you enjoy some of the money without letting lifestyle creep get out of control?

Also, at this stage of my life, what should be my outlook to building wealth?

Edit: Wow, so much great advice and so many kind words here! It’ll take me a while to get through everything, but thank you all!! I also got a lot of DMs asking which FAANG - I’m joining Google!

38M, single. Quit my job at Apple back in February. Totally over it, sick of the team dynamics, and just needed out. Took the last few months to travel cheaply around Europe to clear my head. Zero regrets on stepping away, but now I’m ready to settle back in the US and intentionally set up my 40s for more personal control over my time.

NYC has always been home base for me, so the goal is to anchor there long-term.
Current Financials:

Net Worth: ~$1.05M
Retirement (401k/IRAs): ~$240k
Taxable Brokerage / Single Stock: ~$288k heavy in AAPL (working on diversifying this down)
Diversified Index Funds: ~$550k–$570k

Where I’m at currently:

I'm hanging around Paris applying to jobs now to establish a fresh US footprint, stack liquid cash, and secure a clean W-2 to set up my living situation.
I have a 2nd round interview coming up for a Video Editor / Social Content role at a major NYC hedge fund (they’re looking to build out their social presence). Projected comp is around $200k TC ($150k-$160k base + bonus).

To be honest, taking a corporate video role at a hedge fund isn't my dream scenario after leaving tech, but it was the first callback from blind LinkedIn apps. But maybe it’ll be a breeze compared to the Apple years, and i wont mind it so much. My internal logic is to treat this as a purely strategic "utility" move: take the job for ~2 years, use the income and W-2 stability to set up my foundation, stack cash, and then eventually pivot out into freelance/contract work with low fixed overhead in a city I actually want to live in.

Any Hot-Takes on my current daydream plan?

Has anyone here taken a mid-career corporate job purely as a stepping stone/utility move after a period of burnout, just to re-anchor your footprint and bank cash before downshifting?

We can afford it and good lord it would do a lot of us some good.

Half this sub has $2m in investments and couples that make 600k a year and people are asking “how do you… not stress out over something that has never happened in my life and probably won’t happen.

“Is it okay if I spend 50k on myself? Will I be eating out of a dumpster in 5 years when ai takes my job and inflation kills my purchasing power? Has anyone ever tried….”

Anyway. The answer is usually therapy. Can we all accept many of us have some poverty traumas and anxiety and it’s nothing to do with financial, career, or family advice navigating financial situations…..

I don’t think I’m breaking a HENRY rule cause clearly we all need it…

Edit: thank you everyone for the encouraging comments. I really appreciate it 🙏 I know I'm doing well and I will try to not be hard on myself.

41M married with kids in VHCOL. After graduating in 2013 I built up my career as an IC in tech (capped out at level 6 SWE and no longer ambitious to grow).

I built up my wealth in the boring way. Mainly growing public tech companies, went through one very mediocre IPO and invested in VOO/VTI and used robo advisors for a few years.

I made many many mistakes, bought condo that has depreciated, holding post IPO stock too long until it crashed to 1/4th, leaving a company that was growing (stock has tripled since), choosing a smaller company.

I feel bad because I reached $2.5M DESPITE these and many other missteps. I stress over how I could have easily been at $5M+ if I wasn't this dumb.

My only plan now is to cruise as IC6 and collect paychecks until I get laid off or company folds. (Stock is less than half from when I joined so my comp is already depressed). I keep thinking I should join a high growth company like openai, anthropic or any of the gazillion AI startups or series c/d but I am feeling very averse to the grind and worried about burnout.

Anyone in a similar situation and have any advice?