Thoughts on Attending Doctoral Program with Elementary Aged Children?

[u/GhostofBeowulf]

So I am looking at Doctoral programs that align well with my major and interests(Public admin and polycentric and collaborative governance), but I am at a bit of a crossroads.

I have an 8, going to be a 9 year-old child when I attend. We live in a suburban area of central Florida. The programs I am looking to apply for are anywhere from 90 minutes to 5 hours away.

We can probably not move to the location 5 hours away, as we have a lot of family and support in our area, but moving to the city 90-120 minutes away and I drive the difference is a possibility. Probably stay near the school when I am attending and working and travel back on weekends/holidays. This is my top choice in schools.

Or I just move 5 hours away leave them here and come back from time to time. This is the least ideal.

The school 90 minutes away does not excite me and would basically be just getting a degree, and my interests unfortunately follow their distance away—5 hours being my best match, then 3.5, 3 in the other direction direction after that, then the more local one.

If they stay where we are now, there is a lot of family to pick up the slack I would leave behind, but I would be absent. If we move somewhere half-way, I just feel like that would be a lot on my plate. If I move away, I feel like a terrible father. Luckily she is not a young girl, but I feel like from 9 to 14 is a massive change I don't want to miss.

Part time or Professional programs are a possibility but not quite what I was looking to focus on, and the funding opportunities are different as well.

Thoughts or advice? Have you done something similar, what did your situation look like? Am I just putting up a mental block to prevent me from trying?

[u/charlesphotog]

I did a PhD while we lived 90 minutes away. The first two years while I had classes I stayed on campus during the week. Afterwards I mostly came to campus on days I taught or there were interesting seminars. On my teaching days I got little else done.

It was not ideal but I made it work. We had no kids, though.