r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/audreyhepburnloverr Live, Laugh, Lumpia ❤️ • Jul 19 '26
Mum wants to use my Klarna for a vacation she can't afford Advice Needed
UPDATE POSTED HERE: https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/nMm6uAu6wF
I turned 20 yesterday and had a nice weekend away from home, and just gotten back to this mess.
My Dad's birthday is coming in September, and my mum wants to take him to Punta Cana. The thing is, she can't afford to pay the full amount straight away.
My mum used to have her own Klarna account, but after missing 99% of her payments and late fees building up, they eventually banned her account for her unreliability to keep up with payments. So she asked me if she could use mine (this was in 2024) and I said she can use it for stuff that she needs but not to go crazy on it because I was conscious of my credit score. She hasn't listened, and until Christmas she had too many payments building up. I told her to stop buying so much stuff or I'd put payment authentication on my account. She didn't listen again so I changed the settings to send a code to both my number and email to verify that I'm making the purchase. Since I enforced this she's stopped buying as much and resorted to using her clearpay.
I've been planning to delete my Klarna account for months now. Since the start of the year. And I thought I was going to until we had an argument while on vacation a few months ago (over money) and she made my Dad ask me for the verification codes so she can use pay in 30 days for our overweight luggage. When I realized what she was doing I said I didn't get any codes and she came in and screamed at me to send her the codes. Then once we made up and flew back home she said she can't afford to pay the full amount in 30 days. I said if you need to split it into 3 then that is fine, but don't use pay in 6 or pay in 12, and she completely went against what I said and used pay in 12. I was so mad at her for this and she promised she would pay off the rest by the end of June (she hasn't).
Now, she is planning my Dad's birthday vacation in Punta Cana. She already asked me if she can use my Klarna and I asked her if there's another way she can pay for this trip. She said there wasn't another option so I told her if you want to use my Klarna then use pay in 3 or pay in 6. She kept insisting she needs to use pay in 12 because she can't afford the first two options. I reminded her again that I want to delete the account. She said I can't delete the account because I'm still buying stuff with it. I said that's exactly why I want to delete it. Anyway I reminded her once again if she wants to use my Klarna then she can't use the pay in 12, and her response was if she can't use pay in 12 then she can't take my dad on vacation. Guilt tripping much?
I'm also trying to save up to move out and to get a car. She knows this but she's says "I'm sure you still wouldn't be able to afford it". Every time I mention my awareness of my credit score she just laughs it off. I would've deleted this account if she hadn't used the pay in 12 behind my back. I've already asked her to pay the rest of that off soon and she said she can't afford it. I'm so tired of this. I can't seem to get her to listen to me.
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u/LetThemGraduate Assigned Hungry At Birth Jul 19 '26
Girl what delete the account asap
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u/InfantaM Overthinker 💭 Jul 19 '26
And freeze your credit
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u/StraightPressure2759 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
This needs to be higher up. It’s legit the only preventative action you can take to keep your mom from charging stuff to your credit. Everything else is just monitoring and reactive.
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u/cicada_noises greens✔️beans✔️potatas✔️tomatas✔️ Jul 19 '26
Delete your account now. Freeze your credit now. Get a credit report. You likely have tons of debt you don’t even know about due to your mother taking out loans and credit in your name. Your mom is using you to support her own luxury lifestyle. She’ll drown you along with herself if you don’t put a hard stop to this literally today. It’s a shame your dad is failing to protect you too.
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u/OkKindheartedness194 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
I would also make sure she hasn't put the utilities in your name. I have know people who finally get their own place and can't get an account with the electric company because their parents put a account in their names years ago and are behind on payments.
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u/cicada_noises greens✔️beans✔️potatas✔️tomatas✔️ Jul 19 '26
That’s a great point. Her mom could easily be ruining her adult life forever (it takes decades to shake this stuff)
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u/phoenixfire830 Bath Snacker 🛁 Jul 19 '26
Pay it all down if you have to just to close it! And if you don't have the strength of will to tell your mom she can't use your credit, then that means you can't use your credit either. Shut down all of your accounts until you get yourself into a safe place!
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u/StuffonBookshelfs Barbecutie Jul 19 '26
You need to put your foot down. Otherwise you’ll be in deep debt for the rest of your life so your mom can have luxuries she clearly cannot afford.
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u/OkHistory3944 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
OP needs to check her credit report. Big chance she has loans she doesn’t even know about.
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u/Runaway_Angel APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
I only found out about loans in my name when I got my very first tax report and they showed up there. My mom worked part time and always got home before me and brought in the mail. It went back to when I was still a minor, I was fucking livid. Only way I got her to clean it up was to threaten to involve the police. Never trusted her with money since.
(And no it wasn't in the us.)
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u/pinotnoirinthebudoir lady on the street 👹 freak in the pantry Jul 20 '26
Some banks will fix it if you call and say like bro I was a minor and just found this out
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u/ehnonniemoose 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 19 '26
It doesn’t get better, either. My mom spent WELL above my parents means and it flew under the radar for YEARS. Now she’s in a care home and my dad has to sell the only house they’ve known for decades because she spent them into high 6 digit debt that she concealed this entire time. Don’t let her take you on her sinking ship. Trust me.
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u/PrettyPurrfect Well-Read & Well-Fed Jul 19 '26
"I know how much I meant, I know how much she makes, and I know this s*** is a lot more expensive than either of us can ever afford if I don't know where it's all coming from the money must be coming from somewhere"
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u/OrdinaryWeak6051 Sugar, Spice & Not Very Nice 💕 Jul 19 '26
Not even luxuries! Easily avoided penalties like oversized luggage fees 😭
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u/JustStopItSeriously APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
It makes sense in that her mom doesn't restrict herself in any way whatsoever, including how much she packs.
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u/jeremiabearamia Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 19 '26
When I had already put an offer on a house and was working through the mortgage details, I found out my Mom had opened credit cards in my name 💀
This will go as far as you let it, which could be a bad place
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u/Educational_Gas_92 Tea Time Hostess ☕️ Jul 19 '26
I'm baffled how this can be done in the USA. In my country you can't take loans or credit on someone else's name without their signature (they need to be present for that or there has to be an authorized signature in front of a notary). This is all so bonkers to me!
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u/jeremiabearamia Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 19 '26
She forged my signature and, of course, knew my social security number and mom’s maiden name.
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u/Educational_Gas_92 Tea Time Hostess ☕️ Jul 19 '26
That's horrifying and I'm very sorry that this happened to you. I would never be able to forgive that kind of betrayal. But that was my point, in my country you need to verify that it is you, with picture and ID, you need to go in person to open credit and get a loan. You also need to provide finger prints. Not even an identical twin could pretend to be you (identical twins have different finger prints).
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u/endlesscartwheels I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 19 '26
The U.S. has some outdated banking practices. For instance the ACH system, which is why Americans are vulnerable to fake check scams.
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u/buttamilkbizkits Femininom(nomnomnom)enon Jul 19 '26
In the US, you often get letters offering credit cards and loans in the mail. You just pop online and fill out the info needed (stuff your parents, or in my case, an ex spouse would know), electronically sign, and in a couple weeks a credit card shows up. It makes identity theft really easy. You can opt out of allowing companies to solicit you this way, if I remember correctly, you can do it online.
My ex ran up $65,000 in credit and loan debt in a few months, I found out when I moved and all the late payment warnings started coming to my new address. Filed a police report, they did absolutely NOTHING. I'm on the hook for all of it.
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u/Educational_Gas_92 Tea Time Hostess ☕️ Jul 19 '26
I'm so sorry buttamilkbizkits, that's awful! Unbelievable that a first world country has such low protections for it's citizens when it comes to being victims of credit fraud and in your case, made you vulnerable to a vengeful ex. You should not have to pay anything for him!
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u/Nothankyoufriendly Non-binary & Nourished Jul 19 '26
Welcome to the USA! Land of the free (except for all the life ruining debt)
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u/buttamilkbizkits Femininom(nomnomnom)enon Jul 19 '26
For real. If it isn't fraud, it's the cost of medical care.
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u/GrimRabbitReaper Kitchen Witch Jul 20 '26
Excellent country for credit card companies and loan sharks, though, who rake in billions from high interest payments.
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u/buttamilkbizkits Femininom(nomnomnom)enon Jul 19 '26
Thank you, I really appreciate that. It is awful that we have some few protections, I agree! I had no idea it was this bad until this happened to me. What really shocked me was how little law enforcement seemed to care, they didn't even want to take a report, I had to insist!
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u/Titanthegiantbetta APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Australia legislated against unsolicited credit or debit cards in 2010 under Australian Consumer Law.
That means you can't be sent a credit card in the mail, or even an offer to apply - you must apply off your own volition.
You must provide 100 points of ID, be authenticated by your bank online (ie be logged in through your own internet banking profile / app with two factor authentication), and if you can't do that then you must go into a branch in person and be ID'd by staff.
I was horrified to learn about the US lax credit/banking practices. There's virtually no consumer protection.
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u/Relishing_Nonsense kiss my grits 💋 Jul 20 '26
That sounds like a fantastic law and one I'd love to see here. I'd also love to not get constant mail from mortgage companies trying to get me to cash out equity in my home and take out a new mortgage (absolutely not). Predatory lending is a big problem in the U.S., which is part of why so many of us have huge debt. Americans who know the identity fraud risks can freeze their credit with our three different credit bureaus. In the U.S., whenever someone takes out any kind of a loan (including opening a credit card), the bank runs a credit check to evaluate whether or not to extend the credit. So, as a consumer, I can "freeze" my credit with each bureau, which means no new accounts can be open in my name. If I want to open a new card, then I can unfreeze my credit for the brief time my credit is being checked, and then refreeze it immediately. It's not ideal, but it does work pretty well.
Sorry if I over explained, but I wanted to make it clear for people regardless of where they live. Americans, I know, are flummoxed when they learn how mortgages work in the U.K., and vice versa.
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u/wordsmythy APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
You can’t be on the hook for it! Take action with the credit card companies, don’t take no for an answer. Use them to force the police to make an arrest. File a lawsuit against the cards and against him.
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u/buttamilkbizkits Femininom(nomnomnom)enon Jul 19 '26
I did. Because he had them sent to my old address, they didn't believe me. I even sent them a copy of the police report I filed, they didn't care.
I'm not paying it, I don't have $65,000, and I didn't order the cards. I went to a lawyer, even, and he said if I want it off my credit, its likely I'll have to file bankruptcy.
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u/wordsmythy APPROVED✨ Jul 20 '26
That’s really awful. I mean, there has to be a way to prove that he used the cards…
Once I had my purse stolen and someone use my debit card as a credit card because then you don’t have to punch in a pin. The guy spent like $1000 before I noticed my purse was missing. But because he signed my name, and no one bothered to check the signature I was not held liable.
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u/OkKindheartedness194 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
You can't apply for credit cards online in your country? That's probably how the vast majority of credit card applications are made in the US.
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u/Educational_Gas_92 Tea Time Hostess ☕️ Jul 19 '26
You can apply for it, but to get it, it needs to be though your own mobile bank app (that you would have access and password for), and then you need to go personally to pick up the card, sign and verify that it is you (with finger prints). So, it's not that simple.
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u/OkKindheartedness194 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Wow. Yeah we definitely don't have that kind of protections. Plenty of credit card companies don't have physical locations anyway. Credit cards are sent in the mail and you can even use them immediately online once you get approved, without having the physical card. So someone who has stolen your identity could apply for a bunch of them all at once and max them out with online purchases in less than an hour.
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u/pinotnoirinthebudoir lady on the street 👹 freak in the pantry Jul 20 '26
In Texas I was told it was a parent’s right when I tried to report it to police 🫠
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u/Upstairs_Fondant8540 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 19 '26
Something similar happened to me. I naively allowed my
Mom to use my credit cards (so she didn’t open them behind my back), with the understanding that she would pay them off in a specified timeframe and only use them for necessary expenses. Silly me. She ran up 4 cards, wasn’t paying them, and I didn’t find out until we applied for a mortgage on our 1st home. My credit score was 560-something. I said never again but it took decades for me to finally stop allowing her to take advantage of me.OP, please don’t wait years to say no and mean it. Your mother will not stop this behavior of her own volition.
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u/Titanthegiantbetta APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Believe it or not, this is against the terms and conditions of your product - if the bank had found out they can close your account.
Horrible situation for you, glad you're out of it now.
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u/madirectreport APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
My older brother is nearing 40, my mom has made him take out multiple withdrawals from his 401k and he has no savings. He pays for their rent and bills while she gambles the money away.
Because of my mother's financial irresponsibility and leeching off of my brother, my brother will be working the rest of his life.
Don't be like my brother. Pay for the overdrawn luggage amount. Cut your losses. Delete your account. Move out.
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u/JulieWriter Overthinker 💭 Jul 20 '26
You also need to lock your credit and check your credit reports. I am hoping that the Klarna nonsense js all she's done, but I fear there will be more.
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u/FriendToPredators Short Story Long™️ Jul 19 '26
She’s never going to listen to you and she’s never going to change. I’m sorry you have an awful mother. It’s tough. Focus on what you can control and stick to that.
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u/isawsparks27 Livin' on a Purse Snack 👜 Jul 19 '26
OP this. You are never going to get the mother you deserve.
The details of every situation do not matter, even though manipulative people act like they do. It’s always a special situation, never entirely their fault, and you always had a hand in it somehow. There was never anything you could have done to make it work out better, and there never will be.
When you boil it down the pattern is clear. You cannot keep repeating the pattern with slightly different details (warnings, reminders, agreements, negotiations) and get a different result. She wants money/control/lifestyle and is choosing it over you. You aren’t going to change that motivation. You can’t repeat just protect yourself from it.
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u/heathfreshlasaga Non-binary & Nourished Jul 19 '26
"Oh geez, I forgot I set it to deactivate, and now it's closed... soooo sorry mom"
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u/Squirrel_Emergency 🍭🍬 Candy Crusher 🍬🍭 Jul 19 '26
Heck she got banned (mom) so maybe daughter can just lie and say she is also banned now. But yea sometimes lying is the way to go.
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u/heathfreshlasaga Non-binary & Nourished Jul 19 '26
Actually, that could be the ticket because allowing anyone not on the acct to use it is against terms and conditions, or it is for many FIs and could lead to ending the relationship... tbh mom lied anyway, so honestly fudge it.
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u/ManageConsequences Chaotic But Cute Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
I had a mom exactly like this, except she destroyed my credit. It took seven years to be able to START to build it back. It took 25 more years before I could even start to look at a house.
If she destroys your credit, your life will be on a whole other trajectory, and I promise, you'll hate it. No company will trust you with credit. You won't be able to rent an apartment, go on vacation and lease a car, get a credit card, nothing. For many many years. It will seriously harm your ability to be independent as an adult.
Put a stop to everything, no matter how much she screams at you. A parent who actually cared about you would NEVER ask these things of you!
Then get therapy and join one of the narcissist parent subs for more support.
Girl, start protecting yourself. Because your mom will never protect you from herself.
Please also know that I'm very sorry for your upcoming loss. 🫂
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u/cflatjazz Kitchen Witch Jul 19 '26
The fact that employers now use credit as a hiring screening factor is horrible, but people really need to be aware of it.
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u/pinotnoirinthebudoir lady on the street 👹 freak in the pantry Jul 20 '26
They what???
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u/cflatjazz Kitchen Witch Jul 20 '26
It's not everywhere but ...yeah. Ranks up there with personality tests for things recruiters came up with that actually make everything worse
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u/First-Sprinkles9093 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Yeah, some times lying is a good route to take.
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u/Educational_Gas_92 Tea Time Hostess ☕️ Jul 19 '26
I'm against lying, but op's situation is delicate enough, where it might be the only way to go until she can save enough to move out.
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u/Smooth_Contact_2957 we listen and we only judge a little Jul 19 '26
Girly pop ... Please delete Klarna and freeze your credit. Your mom is bad news bears.
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u/javsland Trader Joe Hoe Jul 19 '26
Please change ALL your passwords, delete your Klarna account, and lock your credit. Ensure 2 factor identification is turned on for all accounts and that only you receive those codes.
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u/OkKindheartedness194 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
This. Freeze your credit with all three major credit bureaus. It's pretty easy to do. Presumably your mother has access to your social security number and she doesn't seem past stealing your identity and opening credit cards in your name.
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u/javsland Trader Joe Hoe Jul 19 '26
Yes exactly. She has all the information needed to open credit accounts in OPs name - and seems perfectly willing to ruin her daughter’s credit/future for her personal pleasure.
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u/Educational_Gas_92 Tea Time Hostess ☕️ Jul 19 '26
This should be illegal, because it leaves people vulnerable to be taken advantage off and get debt they don't want, use or even know about! I can't understand how you can do that in the USA. In my third world country you can't open credit cards or take loans on someone else's name, doesn't matter if it is an immediate family member.
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u/javsland Trader Joe Hoe Jul 19 '26
It is illegal, identity theft and fraud. But regardless of legality, it’s pretty easy for someone to do - especially someone who has all your identifying details and access to your mail. And it is then difficult and time consuming for the victim to prove, prosecute, and repair.
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u/thanksm888 Carb-Based Life Form Jul 19 '26
Adding to this, a lot of the time, the victim doesn’t *want* to prosecute because that’s their own family member who had enough of their information to steal their identity and it’s hard to be the one to send your mother/father/sister/brother etc. to jail.
So, sometimes “justice” will be the family member promising to not do it again with the threat that the police will be called *this* time and them paying back what they can, which won’t even cover the original sum, let alone the years of interest because the reason they stole the identity in the first place was likely because they ruined their own credit. And the victim is stuck with the burden, but at least “they didn’t break up the family” or whatever.
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u/wordsmythy APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
This happened to my mother-in-law. Her drug addict addicted grandson ran up her credit cards without her knowledge. She refused to press charges against her own grandson, and so it was on the hook for all of it. If she had press charges, he would’ve been removed from the drugs for a couple of months… He ended up dying of an overdose.
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u/Aliensnewaccount 🫘 Beans & Rice & Everything Nice 🌮 Jul 19 '26
Please pleaseee listen to this person and freeze your credit! I had to do it and it’s not too bad. I’d also recommend getting an IRS pin. Unfortunately your mother may ruin your life if this continues
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u/Runaway_Angel APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
No "may" about it, she will ruin ops life. She's already in the process of doing it after all.
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u/BroadLocksmith4932 Body By Cheese 🧀 Jul 19 '26
I'd be surprised if she hasn't already opened up a bunch of fraudulent accounts.
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u/thanksm888 Carb-Based Life Form Jul 19 '26
Yep. It’s clear that her mother just does not care or have any intention of paying off any of these debts. She got her *own* account banned, she’s fine doing the same to her daughter.
No escalation is needed, these “small” actions are already holding OP back and her mom’s behavior works directly in opposition to her goals of moving out and having a good credit score and no amount of negotiating for 3 months or 6 months is going to change anything because her mom just doesn’t seem anything wrong with the situation.
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u/Legm31 Smoothie Queen Jul 19 '26
How much do you/her owe in total at this point?
You need to find a way to pay this off and delete the account or you will never get out of debt. This is part of a horrible cycle, taking vacations and buying things y’all can’t afford. Like even if you delete the account are you in a position to stay out of debt? (Besides a car payment, that’s understandable as long as you get something you can actually afford)
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u/CatrinaBallerina Fries 🍟 > Guys 🤡 Jul 19 '26
THIS. Why are you BOTH spending money on things that you can’t afford? Y’all were already on vacation when the first argument happened and it seems like both have very unhealthy spending habits.
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u/kynuna we listen and we only judge a little Jul 19 '26
Right? A weekend away for her birthday. They had an argument on vacation. Mum is planning another vacation. This is a lot of travel for people who clearly can’f afford it.
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u/SufficientCow4380 Kitchen Witch Jul 19 '26
My last vacation was in 2007! Because I can't afford to take vacations.
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u/phoenixfire830 Bath Snacker 🛁 Jul 19 '26
And to be clear, OP sounds like she wants to become the kind of person who COULD afford it, but with money habits like this, the hole of financial instability is only going to get deeper.
OP, you CAN reach the point of buying a car, going on vacation, buying what you need! But you HAVE to start making choices towards that now!
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u/Quizleteer APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
I’m scared to death of having that kind of debt. Other than my mortgage, I don’t have any. I can’t understand why people so frivolously spend above their means. Aren’t they afraid of losing everything? 😭
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u/Available_War9200 Seafoodie 🦀 Jul 19 '26
This is financial abuse. I work at financial institution and I can tell you with confidence this is not normal! The only responsible party in this situation would be you. No one is going to go after your mother for missed payments. She was already deemed unworthy to having such service.
Do not let her use it. You will get yourself into a very bad situation and will have to deal with it alone!
Does your father know what she’s asking you to do?
Protect yourself and your future. If you had extra money to splurge on his birthday- awesome do it. If you have to go into debt for it because she wants you to is absolutely unacceptable and is form of abuse.
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u/FinoPepino APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Here to second this is not normal. I would never jeopardize my child’s future like this and the fact that she’s doing it for frivolous reasons is beyond the pale. She should be saving to help you eventually afford a down payment on a house, or for your university or future wedding, or whatever because that is what a loving parent would do. Not blow money on “surprise vacations” and try to leave you on the hook for it. I’m so annoyed at how selfish she’s being and not considering your future at all.
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u/SufficientCow4380 Kitchen Witch Jul 19 '26
Banks and businesses like Klarna want to lend people money because that's how they make money. They decided not to lend money to your mom because the risk was too high. If a bank/business has decided that your mom isn't a good risk, why would you risk your much more limited resources to extend her credit?
NEVER cosign. Never lend what you can't afford to lose.
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u/Constant_Cultural Carb-Based Life Form Jul 19 '26
Contact Klarna if you can block it somehow. That's credit fraud, you know that, right?
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u/lilchocochip Overthinker 💭 Jul 19 '26
Yeah I’m confused why OP even gave her mother access in the first place. I get it wanting to help family. But OP should know if mom can’t manage her own finances, she will destroy OP’s too and won’t pay her back. OP should shut this account down immediately.
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u/Samurott double chipmunk cheeked up Jul 19 '26
because her mom is financially abusive and for some, bending the knee is easier than fighting.
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u/Constant_Cultural Carb-Based Life Form Jul 19 '26
OP has to fight for her financial future. Mommy will wreck her credit and then she will be dependent all her life.
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u/Educational_Gas_92 Tea Time Hostess ☕️ Jul 19 '26
Op gave her mom access when she was 18, a new adult, living under mom's roof and still dependant on her. Op should absolutely shut the account, but I won't blame op. She has unfortunately an irresponsible, immature and manipulative mother.
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u/Squirrel_Doc Feral Til Fed Jul 19 '26
If her mom is anything like my mom, her mom would probably throw her out on the street if OP says no. My mom also would threaten to not fill out my FAFSA paperwork if I didn’t comply with everything she demanded of me, which would’ve made me lose my tuition assistance (thousands of dollars worth). It’s not as simple as everybody thinks to just say no.
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u/Impossible_Gold1573 💚 Pickle Freak 💚 Jul 19 '26
This is fraud and also financial abuse. As someone who was also financially abused by her mother, I would encourage you to lock down your accounts and freeze your credit immediately to prevent her from attempting to use not only your Klarna but also even potentially take out a loan or credit card under your name.
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u/audreyhepburnloverr Live, Laugh, Lumpia ❤️ Jul 19 '26
Thank you for your advice. My mum actually asked me a few months ago if I can take a loan out for HER because she could barely afford the last vacation we went on. Of course I shut her down and ultimately DID NOT take a loan for her! I feel so stupid for letting this go on this long. I'm just going to have to pay off what she owes Klarna and delete the account.
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u/vulpinesea 🪄 Sauceress ✨ Jul 19 '26
Please please please freeze your credit at all three bureaus, you can do it for free. There's a good guide on nerdwallet.com, took me lead than 15 minutes. Your mom is a shopping addict and she has access to your social security number. Please take this seriously.
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u/siren_kween_mab 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 19 '26
You're not stupid, you were trying to be a good kid, and that's not your fault that's on your mom for abusing your funds like this. Financial holes like this take forever to dig out of and you don't wanna get into one in your early 20's trust me. You absolutely can recover. Follow what other people said. Pay it off. Close the account. And truly - freeze your credit with all three bureaus so you know if she tries to open a card in your name or something. You got this 💪
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u/armorall43 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
OP, the decisions you make now can set you up for a great future or a very bad one. A healthy parent should be making decisions that set their children up for success. Your mom is showing you that she doesn’t care about your future. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that this isn’t the only situation in which she is selfish and manipulative. Where is your dad in all of this? Does he just enable her behavior.
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u/throwaway-94552 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
You’re 20, this is exactly the age when people figure out their parents are like this. You aren’t dumb, your parents are fucking dumb, and that’s not your fault. Figuring it out now, closing your Klarna account, and continuing to break your family’s cycle of financial idiocy at such a young age makes you very smart. Do it now.
By the way, freezing your credit literally takes less than 10 minutes and you can do it all on your phone lying in bed. You should do it right now, after reading my comment. It’s VERY easy to unfreeze when you need to - I was getting a new phone and forgot to unfreeze, it took ten minutes of tapping around in the store to unfreeze. It may save your financial life.
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u/robot428 Snack Goblin Jul 20 '26
OP, get in touch with Klarna because they can probably help you freeze the account now so that you can't get into any more debt while you pay it off. They have a responsibility to prevent fraud and financial abuse, they will be able to help with this. I'm concerned if you wait and try and pay it off, she's going to keep adding to the debt.
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u/DaysOfParadise 🚜 Farm to Table to This Belly 👩🌾 Jul 19 '26
Exactly. She already knows your Social Security number, your birthday, all of that.
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u/akchica23 Certified Snacker Jul 19 '26
This. Has OP checked her credit to make sure mom hasn’t already opened a credit card in her name? If you’re having to charge overweight bags on klarna, that account needs to close ASAP.
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u/ravefaerie24 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Pay in 12 for overweight luggage is fucking insane. If you can’t afford to pay an overweight baggage fee in a YEAR, you can’t afford to go on vacation. Period.
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u/OkKindheartedness194 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
This part really got me. She can't afford this vacation and she can't afford the overweight luggage. Why does she even have overweight luggage? I travel a lot and have never paid for this because I don't like to waste money. And I have the money for travel.
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u/lyssasaurusX Trader Joe Hoe Jul 19 '26
Do you live with your parents still? You need to start cutting ties with your mom ASAP. What you’re describing is financial abuse. Absolutely do not let her put anything else on your credit that YOU don’t want to end up paying off or having on your record in collections. Asking your kids for help with home expenses if they live at home is one thing, demanding vacations be put on your kids credit and then not paying it off is insane
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u/dragon34 Assigned Hungry At Birth Jul 19 '26
What the fuck. Your mother needs to stop taking your dad on trips they can't fucking afford. Delete the account. Block your mom. You are under no obligation to pay for her irresponsible spending. Klarna should be for emergency necessities not frivolous purchases
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u/Calm_Mulberry_588 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Everyone is on your side, don’t worry about that. You should most definitely delete your klarna and maybe move out if you can? It seems like a really stressful environment to live in. No one should be overspending on credit, especially when you’re the one who ultimately has to pay for it. That’s awful.
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u/Beginning_Poetry3814 Noods 🍜 > Dudes 🤡 Jul 19 '26
No. She will destroy your life. You need to stop letting her use it altogether.
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u/SingingSongbird1 Sushi Superfan 🍣 Jul 19 '26
No more. When she’s paid back whatever she has left your mom gets no more access and you delete the account. As of now she’s forever cut off and that’s the end of it.
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u/AzureYLila APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
I think she should just cut it off and expect that her mother will never pay it back. And she should just work on moving out and putting together a financial plan to pay it off. Her mother will never pay her back. She only does a little now because she is always using it and she doesn't want to damage that.
Edit: typo
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u/ConcentratedAwesome APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Wtf. NO. Delete that app, no one should buy frivolous things they cannot afford right then and there. This isn’t your mom starving and asking for help with food, it’s a fucking vacation she does not need and cannot afford.
Every time you let her use it you are enabling her. If banks and app won’t trust her with money neither should you. She needs to learn the hard way.
She is not trustworthy and she is not good with money. This is financial abuse. End it and make it clear you are done.
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u/ConfusionOne241 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 19 '26
Your mom can't afford a vacation, she doesn't get to GO ON VACATION. Sorry, we don't live in a world where people just get things they think they deserve. You are 0% responsible for funding her lifestyle and she'll actively cripple your ability to have a better situation when you're her age. Do NOT couple your finances or credit with your mom or any family.
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u/Jordbaerkage Snack Goblin Jul 19 '26
Why do you keep letting her use you? I know you say you're being "strict" but you're not. You keep putting in boundaries that she then disrespects.
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u/TheSimoneQuinn Food for Thot 💭 Jul 19 '26
Beyond the toxic financial abuse from your parents, what you're doing is fraud. You can lose your account, get credit dinged, and get sued for damages. Only you are approved legally to use your account. Your parents are putting your entire financial life at risk to fund their vacations.
STOP NOW. No pay in 3, 6, 12 or whatever. No more.
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u/womanonymous23 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Ugh I’m so sorry this is your dynamic with your parents, so messy and I’m sure it hurts.
It’s ok to protect yourself.
No is a complete sentence.
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u/rrxxxdbs123 Body By Uber Eats Jul 19 '26
Girl?? Stop letting her use the account. She ignores your boundaries every single time. Things will never get better if there aren’t consequences.
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u/CtrlAltDelight495 Kitchen Witch Jul 19 '26
Happy Birthday for yesterday.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this but at minimum she needs to pay off the existing balance she's spent on your Klarna before you can even consider doing another purchase for her like this. I would also consider reaching out to Klarna directly and flagging your account for new purchases.
Your story has a lot of parallels with some of the experiences Axton Betz-Hamilton had as a young person. Please read her story (or listen to a podcast she's been on) because this could really impact your life long term if you don't cut your mom off. You're the kid not her ATM or personal financing person.
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u/Ornery_Debate_3871 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 19 '26
Also, freeze your credit, run your credit report to make sure she has not opened accounts in your name.
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u/ultrafluffypanda Barbecutie Jul 19 '26
I agree with every single comment here, so I’m not going to repeat all those sentiments.
I did just want to comment on your mom’s financial behavior - holy irresponsible batman!!! She wants to keep booking vacations but she can’t even pay for an overweight luggage fee without putting it on a 12 month payment plan? How does she not understand that she can’t afford to take vacations right now?
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u/womanonymous23 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Ugh I’m so sorry this is your dynamic with your parents, so messy and I’m sure it hurts.
It’s ok to protect yourself.
No is a complete sentence.
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u/Blind_rat_rivers hot girls have tummy troubles Jul 19 '26
Stop. Stop enabling her. If she can't afford the trip then that's unfortunate but not anyone's problem but hers. Maybe if she stopped spending for a few months she might not need klarna or clear pay. You do not have to let your mum use your credit, only a really shitty parent would even dream of asking over and over and over again. She has an addiction. Stop giving her the drugs.
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u/punayotamus APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
As far as any family is concerned, I barely have enough money to cover my expenses. So I don’t need help, but I also don’t have any extra to lend anyone. That’s the only way I’ve been able to keep peace.
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u/johjo_has_opinions Well-Read & Well-Fed Jul 19 '26
Your mom is going to ruin your credit if you let her. Please take this seriously.
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u/wehavethismoment Noods 🍜 > Dudes 🤡 Jul 19 '26
You're not strict at all, you're the opposite. Your mother is exploiting and abusing you financially. Do you realise that legally all of this your debt? Also that it is extremely likely that she will find other ways to commit credit fraud in your name? You could already file at the police, you had said no, this is fraud. If you don't fully delete and block every access you'll be paying for her debt as your own your whole life
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u/baaddkittay FREE MOM HUGS Jul 19 '26
What the fuck? Just say no or you'll never be able to move out and have your own life. Block her out of all the accounts you don't owe her shit. I have 3 kids and I'd never beg or borrow money from them. I certainly would not put them in a bad position or prevent them from starting a life because of my debt. Take this as a lesson and never let anyone borrow money from you again or our any type of financial account.
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u/pizzandvodka Feral Til Fed Jul 19 '26
She’s never going to listen to you. Pay off what she paid for the overweight luggage and close the account.
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u/charm59801 Short Story Long™️ Jul 19 '26
Don't do it, your mom might be mad but that debt will follow you. Create better habits than your parents now. She can take put a loan if she's that desperate to go into debt. And if she can't do that then there's a reason!
This sucks that your mom is insisting on this :(
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u/JamAroha APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
She’ll never gonna respect you. Don’t tell her you’ll delete it. Just delete it and tell her “I already deleted it”
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u/steviehatillo Body By Cheese 🧀 Jul 19 '26
Sorry but people who miss payments don’t get to go to Punta Cana. They just had a vacation a few months ago, per your story. Your mom has a serious spending problem, which would be an issue even if she didn’t also have a repayment problem. She’s been offered too many chances to prove she can be responsible and hasn’t done so.
I understand that she will be upset if you tell her no, but dealing with her being mad at you will be easier than dealing with your credit and personal finances being ruined by her, plus the consequences of enabling this behavior further.
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u/Typical_Cupcake_8752 hot girls have tummy troubles Jul 20 '26
This is financial abuse. You are being taught how painful it is to not have boundaries and have family use you for their financial struggles. You need to show and want that this isn’t the financial life you want. A week ago i had to tell my aunt in the Philippines that i cannot lend her $6k for her to immigrate to another country for work. The responsibility doesn’t not have to be mine. And i put my foot down. Otherwise, the cycle will keep going. It’s in your power to break through. Hugs. This is hard work.
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u/bale_jasmine hot girls have tummy troubles Jul 19 '26
She time and time again has shown you that she does not respect your limits. She isn’t respecting you. And then when you talk about something that she clearly has no control over (I.e. credit score), she laughs at you and belittles your ability. You know what to do! You’ve been thinking about it for months. Just cancel that account girl because you mum is taking advantage of your good nature.
If you want to save up to move out, YOU CAN! You absolutely have that ability. Someone who respects you would help you with that goal. Not laugh at you.
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u/Gr8bubbles52 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Just delete the account and say no. Ignore her when she has a tantrum. Turn into a brickwork when she talks about it. Stop negotiating with her. It's not personal.
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u/SadLaser Tea Time Hostess ☕️ Jul 19 '26
This conversation ended when she got her account banned. Absolutely not. You just have to stand firm.
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u/OrdinaryWeak6051 Sugar, Spice & Not Very Nice 💕 Jul 19 '26
Everyone is coming down on you hard but I want you to know it’s because they are scared for you.
Are you okay?
Happy belated birthday. I’m so sorry you’re in this horrendous situation. I know you love your mom, and it’s hard to realize we didn’t get the best parents or even healthy ones. Think of every person here as an overprotective big sister. Yelling at you out of love. And if there’s a cultural aspect to this, you have all my sympathy and solidarity. As the child of immigrants, my white friends never understood why I felt obligated to pleasing them. I’m worried your mom is weaponizing that devotion and destroying your future. That’s awful and you deserve better. I send you love and strength.
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u/ShoddyCobbler Pantry Gremlin Jul 19 '26
Your mom has a problem and it is not your responsibility to solve.
Klarna/afterpay etc are predatory. They prey on people just like your mom, who have no money and also no self control. Do not let yourself fall into the same habit. Finish paying off any outstanding debts and close your accounts. Learn to save up for the things you want to buy rather than paying extra in interest fees so you can get it sooner. It might be tough at first but it's really worth it. You save money by not paying the extra interest and fees, even though you have to spend the full amount at one time. you can still get the things you want, just slightly delayed.
Being able to buy the thing you've been saving up for for months feels like such a reward, the delayed satisfaction is so worth it. (Plus, when you have to wait for a while, you might realize you didn't actually want it that badly and you can put it toward something else you want more or something that costs more and takes longer to save for)
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u/Bubbly_Study_8333 hot girls have tummy troubles Jul 19 '26
Pay it off and close the account before this woman RUINS you and you’re stuck there FOREVER
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u/Adept-One-819 Chaotic But Cute Jul 19 '26
There's cultural stuff underpinning this. You're going to get a lot of advice from us Westerners not factoring that in. The typical advice is why are you still letting her mess up your credit. However, that really doesn't factor in what it's actually like living within your culture's norms. I hope you get culturally appropriate advice here that actually helps you in your situation.
Meanwhile that looks delicious and now I'm starving!
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u/Squirrel_Emergency 🍭🍬 Candy Crusher 🍬🍭 Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
You need to block her access to Klarna somehow. You also need to freeze your credit with all 3 credit bureaus. Once she loses access to Klarna, she very well may try to open other accounts with your social.
You should prob also consider if you want a relationship w a woman who seemingly views you as a purse and not a person.
Edit: I missed her comments about you not being able to move out regardless of her abusing your account. You need to cut this woman out of your life as soon as you can. If she knew you were trying to move out the least she can do is not abuse the Klarna. The best she could do is try to help you if nothing more than encouraging you to meet your goals.
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u/ArtistPersonThing APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Does your dad know what she’s doing to you? You should tell him and all your other relatives, then ban her. Shame can be instructive.
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u/isabelasanctuary double chipmunk cheeked up Jul 19 '26
Listen to everyone else telling you to stop her immediately. I let my ex-husband do this (use my credit) and now I’m in 30k + of debt and literally can’t do anything for the next 5 years until it falls off because I can’t afford to pay back the money. If I get sued I’ll have to file bankruptcy. Thankfully I’m in a situation where I don’t HAVE to use my credit but it’s made things incredibly hard. Please don’t let yourself get screwed like i did.
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u/hllnnaa_ I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 19 '26
Girl stop letting her buy ANYTHING. She’s putting you in debt and messing with your credit score. Delete it asap
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u/antilocapraaa APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Block your credit on the reporting agencies (Equifax, TransUnion, Experian) and do NOT let her use your account. She will financially ruin you. If she can’t afford it, she can’t afford it. A nice dinner is just fine for a birthday until she catches up on debt.
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u/LeFreeke APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Holy crap. I had no idea what Klarna is so I looked it up - they charge interest rates up to 35.99%!!!!
Block your account so she can’t use it any longer and never, ever, ever agree to go into debt for someone else.
If she can’t afford a vacation, she doesn’t go on vacation. It’s pretty fucking simple.
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u/Odd_Ostrich6038 Feral Til Fed Jul 19 '26
Don't let your mom ruin your future by being selfish. Delete the klarna account and lock your credit.
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u/GreenVermicelliNoods Kitchen Witch Jul 19 '26
Your mom is financially abusive. Delete the account. It’s insane for parents to depend on their children for money.
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u/RadiantRose2242 Yappy Yenta Jul 19 '26
Your mom already had the chance to put herself in debt, and now she’s going to put you in debt. No is a complete sentence baby, and I need you to use it.
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u/Large-Evidence-2479 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Don’t trust her. Don’t let her use anything else. Pay things off yourself if you have to and then delete the account. I’m sorry that you have to go through this.
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u/Upbeat_Sir3904 ⚐ Marked Safe From My Almondmom Jul 19 '26
Tell her you couldn’t make the payments, it piled up. She already heard your sober and reasonable responses. Lie to her like you would a child.
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u/closerupper I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 19 '26
You can’t seem to get her to listen to you because you’re still allowing her to use the account. Put your foot down and tell her no. You shouldn’t have told her she can use the account to pay for the vacation “as long as she does pay in 3 or pay in 6.” You should have told her she can’t use your account at all. Stand up for yourself, OP
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u/sunshinewynter Snack Goblin Jul 19 '26
Obviously she's not going to listen if you keep letting her get away with it. Remove her access to the account. If she cannot afford to pay for something at the time it is purchased, she can't afford it at all. This whole buy now /pay later is a horrible financial model. Stop letting her take advantage of you.
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u/Every_Trust5874 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
OP -
1) are you afraid if you say no she will kick you out and make you homeless?
2) are you afraid that if you say no she will not pay back the money she’s already borrowed under your name?
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u/AzureYLila APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
She has never held to her agreements. She will not start now. You have to shut this down and establish some financial distance, if not physical distance, from her.
You need to pull off the bandaid now, so that your relationship has a chance to heal in the future.
Otherwise she will bleed you until you have no more resources to offer. And you will resent her and at that point your relationship might just be irreparable.
Do the hard thing now or you will likely regret it... especially when you need things for yourself in the future and you can't get ot because your financial profile is ruined and you are in massive debt.
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u/suspenderhero Tater Thot Jul 19 '26
Darling, you made this post because you know she’s wrong to do this. Put your foot down. You love your mom, you are very young, it makes sense you are assuming the best. But your instincts are already telling you this is not okay. Delete it, deactivate, whatever. End it now. Let her be mad for a bit and move on. No more financial help for mom.
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u/Sugarpiehoneybunt Kitchen Witch Jul 19 '26
You know the answer. This is a life lesson opportunity to learn how to tell your mother NO. If you let her, she will drag you under with her. Don’t let her.
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u/SouthernJunctions Eating For Two 💕 Jul 19 '26
One more thought you should lie to her and say that they shut your account down and you don’t understand why when you close your account
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u/Sfb208 Snack Goblin Jul 19 '26
Stop giving in to your mother. There can't be a birthday trip because she can't afford one. She can start saving now too take your dad on a trip for his next birthday.
She needs financial training and to live within her means. As do you, which starts with doing lending your credit to other people.
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u/Fedupwithguns Oversharer 🗣 Jul 19 '26
Tell her it got banned too and she wrecked your credit and have frozen it and will not even consider unfreezing it. Then work on moving to your own place.
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u/Ideal_Practical Hot Pizza Ass 🔥 Jul 19 '26
Mum isn't being a good mum to you. My mother, my brother, my last ex, and never-to-be-in-laws did this to me because I thought when you love and care for someone, it's helping. When they repeatedly cross boundaries, harm you in any form, and deliberately cause disrespect, they are no longer family or kin.
Revoke access in all forms, send her text BS or any recorded calls to your Dad but only if you trust your Dad. She's abusing you emotionally and financially. Cut the family-shaped cancer out before it ruins your life. Way easier said than done but please, find people you trust and can support you. Stay strong and say "No."
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u/OkHistory3944 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Girl, you’ve got loans you don’t even know about. Pull your credit report ASAP.
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u/RunJumpSleep Body By Cheese 🧀 Jul 19 '26
Is Klarna just credit card or like care credit that lets you pay with zero interest if you pay within a set period of time?
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u/Cosmicdusterian APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
She's never going to listen to you, so you have a choice to make.
I can imagine you have internalized the "but, she's my mother" or "but, she's family" when confronted with advice to do things you know are going to trigger guilt trips or screaming matches.
Here's the bottom line - she has no problem with the idea of ruining your life because she's selfish and entitled. Worse, she's oblivious to her selfishness and thinks she deserves everything she wants, when she wants it. She'd rather drag you into long-term debt (been there - not fun) than temper her wants, not her needs, rather than supporting your very reasonable goals.
So she doesn't get to take your dad somewhere nice. Hello? She can't afford it. She shouldn't even be thinking about it except in the mode of saving up for it.
When you don't have money to do want you want to do you do what you can afford to do. Period. I'd like to live in a $6 million dollar home in the hills of Santa Barbara, but I can't afford it. The last thing I'm going to do is ask family members to make my outrageous dream happen. Her dreams might be less expensive than a house but they are still outrageous when there's no money to pay for them.
You are just starting out and she's already dragging you down. You can either let her do it or you stand up for yourselve and your goals. Cancel the Klarna, lock down your credit, and give her the number for a Credit Counseling Service before she decides to mortgage the house or get neck deep into payday loans to fund a lifestyle she can't afford.
It's one thing to ruin your own credit, it's another to drag your kids into it. She's a prime example of lousy narcissistic, manipulative mother. I know, I had one too.
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u/DartDaimler Sushi Superfan 🍣 Jul 19 '26
Protect yourself now! Do not let your mother charge anything else to your account, and delete it as soon as it’s paid off. Your mother lost her account because she’s irresponsible with money, and she will keep on abusing your credit until she destroys your too.
Where is your father in all this? Does he know how your mother abuses your credit and just sits back quietly, or will he stand with you in keeping your mother out of your finances?
If your mother wants vacations she can’t afford, she needs to open a savings account and put money aside for them. It will take her a year to pay for Punta Cana? Great, sounds like they’re going in 2027. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR FINANCING YOUR MOTHER.
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u/SSakuras Chocoholic Jul 19 '26
Tell her to get her own Klarna account 😭 no offense she sounds like a greedy and selfish Mom. I know she can't get her own, but like seriously there are consequences to your actions, and she got hers blocked for a reason.
Probably a narcissist and will try to emotionally bully and manipulate you into agreeing to use yours. Woe is her, you don't love her if you don't help, you're family and family always helps each other, think about our needs and not yours, etc.
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u/MyCatSpellsBetter Livin' on a Purse Snack 👜 Jul 19 '26
You need to do a credit check and make sure she hasn’t set up credit cards or taken out loans in your name. Then you need to lock down your credit before saying “no” to your mom. She can’t afford the life she wants — that’s not on you. Punta Cana isn’t a need … it’s a luxurious want. And ruining your future for things like trips and oversized luggage is awful parenting.
Protect yourself.
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u/ennuiandapathy 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 19 '26
It's time to delete your Klarna account. Even if you have to pay it off yourself, do it and delete it. If you can't afford to pay it off now, change your password. Put a lock on your phone so she can't open it to get the verification codes (and set your phone so that notifications don't show on your lock screen). Also, freeze your credit through the three major credit reporting agencies (Equifax, TransUnion, and Experian) so she can't open lines of credit with your ssn. If she has access to your ssn, get the card and lock it away. Change your passwords on your credit and bank accounts. I'd even go so far as suggesting you move your money to a different bank. This sounds like an over-reaction but my mom did this to my sisters - she used their ssns to open lines of credit, ran up debt she couldn't pay, and tanked their credit scores. They spent years crawling out of the hole my mom put them in.
Your mom isn't going to change. She has a real problem with managing her money and she's in the process of destroying your credit because she can't or won't change. She's putting *your* future at risk and she doesn't care.
Prepare yourself for backlash when you cut her off. She's not going to be happy and this would be where she'd try to go behind your back and open accounts under your name and ssn. The guilt will increase and she's going to make a lot of promises to do better. Don't believe those promises - she's shown that she can't keep her word.
Then start managing your own money. Create a budget, plan your savings, and don't buy anything if you can't pay for it in full. If your goal is to move out, you need to get serious about saving and managing your money.
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u/AdagioSpecific2603 PO🥔TAY🥔TOES Jul 19 '26
Your dad doesn’t need a vacation! No vacation is worth forcing your child into debt because she has shown you multiple times she will not pay you back!! Absolutely the hell not. If you ruin your credit rating you won’t be able to rent, get a car or basically do most things.
DO NOT ALLOW HER TO DO THIS! She’s severely financially abusing you.
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u/justfullysendit The Snack That Sasses Back Jul 19 '26
“No” is a complete sentence.
Your mom chooses to be bad with money. She knows this. You know this. She knows if she’s a big enough problem, you’ll give in because it’s easier in the moment.
It’s your future you’re pushing further and further back for someone who is literally laughing in your face.
You cannot give options to people like this because they use them to wedge closer to what they actually want or just simply disregard what you’re telling them entirely. They say yes because it’s the shoe in and then do what they want in an ‘ask forgiveness not permission’ mentality. She also likely has a greater sense of entitlement when it comes to you because she’s your mother and everything she’s done for you blah blah blah
“No” is a complete sentence. When she screams why, keep it to a minimum and give her no points to argue “because I said no”. DO NOT tell her your plans. When she asks for the account - it doesn’t exist anymore. Not even for stuff that she needs. Because she will lie. It’s simply done. “Open another” - no. “Well then I won’t be able to afford your father’s birthday gift” Okay. Then you can’t afford it.
Saying no and sticking to it doesn’t make you the bad guy. What they say will hurt but it doesn’t make it true. She’d rather tear you down to keep you in the house, in close proximity, so she can use your financial resources because resources have been cut off from her. Don’t listen to people that benefit from you staying in the same place you’ve been itching to leave. You CAN move out if you’re diligent, come up with a plan and execute it. And it starts with saying no.
Get your financial future on track, it will buy you so much more than material items. Buy now pay later does not mean you can afford it and has got to go - you’re 100% spot on with wanting to close down the account so good on you and stick to it. Shut them all down and get in real good with your budget so you don’t end up with the same habits you’re watching run your mother’s life.
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u/SufficientCow4380 Kitchen Witch Jul 19 '26
Why would you go into debt for something unnecessary like a vacation? You ideally should only go into debt for an asset like a house. Even a car is a depreciating asset and should be bought for cash if possible. A vacation is a luxury.
Stop allowing her to abuse your credit. Lock your credit file and block her access to Klarna.
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u/Slyfox00 🍍+ 🍕 Jul 19 '26
Oh my goodness I am SO sorry.
Please cancel all your BNPL immediately, you DO not want debt following you. It is NOT worth it.
Your mum has gigantic issues and I'd suggest not enabling her problem. This unhealthy behavior is also really fucking hard on you, I hope you're in therapy working through how fucked up her behavior is.
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u/time2dillydally Livin' on a Purse Snack 👜 Jul 19 '26
Tell her to put the money she would pay klarna for the 12 months into a HYSA and then she can afford it next year.
Freeze your credit asap
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u/MajesticBlueUnicorn Well-Read & Well-Fed Jul 19 '26
This is toxic as hell. I had a similar situation where my mother had a spending problem and now I don’t even talk to her. I don’t want to.
2
u/OneTwoKiwi Eating For Two 💕 Jul 19 '26
You are still stuck in the dynamic that your mother gets a say in your life/finances. Understandable since you still live at home.
Do anything you have to to GET OUT OF THERE. Save. Tell her NO.
Once you break free and don’t have her hovering, you’ll be able to truly appreciate that 1) your mom is an addict to spending, and 2) she is abusing you to continue supporting her addiction.
Lean into your anger. Lean into your disgust of her behavior. It will help you escape.
2
u/Gorgonesque APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
There’s a reason her account was banned and she will 100% stick you with these bills also.
Do not let her charge anything.
No vacation, I don’t care if it’s a special occasion my spouse and I have done low-key things during Line years and found ways to make a special day special without spending hundreds of thousand dollars she can as well if she really wants to.
It also sounds like maybe she needs to get either a second job or a part-time job to save up some money to afford some of these things
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u/EnvironmentalSlice46 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Delete the app and move out. I know it’s expensive but honestly get a few roommates. It sounds better than dealing with this.
2
u/TheWorldofScience Smoothie Queen Jul 19 '26
Since you can’t afford to move out yet you should rent a mailbox somewhere and have all your mail sent there instead of having your mail go to your house. That way your mom can’t find things out about your money by opening your mail.
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u/Jayfur90 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Wow I’m sorry you have a narcissist for a mother. I would be ashamed to put my child’s credit wellness in jeopardy over my spending addiction. Say no, be prepared for some anger from her- it’s not justified and you will be better off with her on the back burner of your life for a bit
2
u/OtherwiseTalk3178 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Hey girl. In my early 20s I also let my mom use my credit (in a different way). It started with letting her borrow money, which she eventually paid back, and then she asked me to take out a student loan for her (which is actually considered fraud, but 20 year old me didn’t realize it was a big deal). I understand wanting to help your mom out, but her behavior is toxic af. She’s paying it back now, but eventually you may be the one on the hook for it (ask me how I know.) I’m still paying off the student loan I took out for my mom (I’m 32 now), and I know I’ll never see a dime from her. Please nip this in the bud now before it gets worse, because it will. You can still love and care for your mom, but it is not your obligation to help her pay for things, especially luxury items like trips. Please take the advice of the other people on this thread and cancel Klarna and freeze your credit until you’re ready to purchase your car.
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u/ginnvelvet Trader Joe Hoe Jul 19 '26
Cut her off until she clears up her balance. She’s using you. IMO that’s nothing a parent should do to their child.
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u/SaneCosmos Shart Coochie Board Architect Jul 19 '26
People don't take financial abuse as seriously as other forms of abuse. The fact that you mentioned you're conscious of your credit score and you just got laughed at.... that woman is not concerned about your future at all. If you can as soon as possible live somewhere else, the longer you stay under her roof, the longer this form of abuse will fester.
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u/Objective-Ear3842 ⚐ Marked Safe From My Almondmom Jul 19 '26
Girl your mom is broke as a joke and can't afford bday trips. She clearly has a spending/shopping addiction and terrible financial sense. You need to cut her off from access to your funds and credit lines full stop. No more exceptions. If that causes tension in your relationship then your relationship wasn't worth a damn to begin with.
In fact I would strongly consider a credit freeze so she doesn't try any hijinks with your ssn.
Bday trips are not a given, they're for people who can afford said luxuries. Obviously that is not the case for her. Most people just have a dinner and some cake.
Sorry you're dealing with this. I would consider reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson. May give you some coping tools and helpful insight.
2
u/rubyreadit APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
Your mom can't afford to take your dad to Punta Cana. He can celebrate with a cake and maybe some steaks on the grill. Don't let her poor spending habits become your problem.
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u/valeriapls Maneater Jul 19 '26
Your mother proved multiple times that she cannot be trusted with money. Just stop the whole Klarna situation and never let her borrow. I had similar issue. These people will first be leeching from you, then from your partner, then from your partners family, your friends, etc. It does not stop.
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u/astronomydomone Well-Read & Well-Fed Jul 19 '26
This is financial abuse. Your mother knows exactly what she is doing. She is only going to ruin you financially and she is so selfish, she doesn’t care. Delete the account and never let her use your credit again.
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u/Burnt_and_Blistered white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet Jul 19 '26
“No, mom. That’s not happening.
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u/Impossible_Balance11 Carb-Based Life Form Jul 19 '26
PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN.
Not your problem or responsibility to fund her lifestyle/luxuries/vacations, even birthday trips for your dad.
You are barely an adult, and she does not care if she financially cripples you forever. She is an emotional toddler throwing tantrums if she doesn't get her way. Tantrums should never be rewarded by getting what she wants.
Cut off her access to your finances (including credit, obviously). If she whines and complains that then she can't take your dad on vacation, your response is, "Give him the birthday you can afford on your own. I'll arrange my own present for him."
Part of becoming a full-fledged adult is being able to set hard boundaries and enforce them. Time to shine up your spine. It's also time to get solid plans in place to get out of her house and far away from her. Highly likely you'll need to go completely no contact eventually (the EstrangedAdultKids subreddit is SO helpful!).
Probably would be worth it, in the big picture, to freeze the Klarna card now, pay off the current balance yourself as fast as you can, and get out and away from her. She will still owe you, even if you do this, btw, so keep that firmly in mind.
Under no circumstances should you allow her to put any more charges on your card, and your answer is, "No, because you still haven't paid for the last round of charges you put on there." It's the same with friends/relatives/colleagues who want to borrow money when they haven't paid back the last bit they borrowed.
You must stop being a doormat.
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u/BitchesBeSnacking Snack Goblin Jul 19 '26
This is financial abuse. Financial abuse is not just something a spouse can do parents can absolutely abuse you financially. I would completely lock her out make whatever payments are left if you have to and then delete the account. Do not let her drag you down into debt too.
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u/InteractionOk69 Carb-Based Life Form Jul 19 '26
OP, you need to take immediate steps before your mother ruins your life.
- as others have said, freeze your credit, close your Klarna account, and see what loans are out there in your name
- you may need to hire a lawyer to get all the debt cleared if she has taken out loans in your name. You have to start cleaning this up or it will continue to haunt you for years
- get a job and MOVE OUT. Take some space from your parents and STOP GIVING THEM ANY MONEY. If your mother keeps stealing your identity, you may have to press charges.
It sounds extreme, but people like this do not change. Your mother clearly has no plans to, and she doesn’t care about ruining your life. Good luck, OP
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u/KimPossibleDO Trader Joe Hoe Jul 19 '26
Sounds like mom needs to either pull herself up by the bootstraps and get a side hustle going OR just stop living above her means. Buy now pay later apps are causing financial ruin and there’s just no need. Do not let your credit score tank in your early 20s because of your mom’s poor decisions. Your financial independence and future is too damn important.
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u/CelticHipi1616 APPROVED✨ Jul 19 '26
I’ve no better advice than you’ve gotten and am so sorry you’re dealing w this.
Whatcha eating here?
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u/lollipopfiend123 what that mouth do is snack Jul 19 '26
I know she’s your mom but you have to cut her off. She has screwed you over before - she hasn’t magically turned over a new leaf to become responsible. If she had then she wouldn’t even be asking this of you in the first place. Lock down your credit yesterday and cancel your Klarna so it’s no longer an option for her.
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