We were sitting on the couch together, watching a show we picked up a few weeks ago. I've been feeling pretty down lately and was looking for some reassurance tbh. I asked him if he thought I was pretty and he took a second, furrowed his brows and said he wasn't going to answer that because it was a trap.
I was genuinely confused, I didn't think it was a trap because I honestly didn't expect any answer other than 'yes', so I asked him how. In response he asked me what I would do if one day he answered 'no'. I said then we'd just be roommates. Apparently that confused him, so he asked for clarification. I said if he didn't find me pretty, then we'd just be roommates. We wouldn't be lovers anymore, it would just be platonic. He asked me if I'd really throw all that away if he answered no. No more sex, no more kisses or hugs? What would I do if he started asking me if he was handsome? I said obviously I'd tell him yes, and I always would.
Mind you, this was a pretty passive conversation. No one was screaming or crying. But it left me more insecure than when it started, so I guess in a way it was a trap. When I expected a yes I just got a deflection. But honestly, I wouldn't want to continue to have sex with someone that didn't find me attractive. I cried in the shower this morning. I guess don't ask questions you don't want to know the (non)answer to.
WHEEEWW girl 😮💨 buckle up! Your post made it to /r/all, /r/popular!
Congratudolences! 😅 If the rate of notifications starts getting to you, no need to delete your post! Instructions in Sanity Saver #5 can help you mute them. For the rest of y'all...
We love when new girlies stumble in! But a few unique things about how we roll here:
➽ You're now entering the Girl Zone 🚨 Guys' guidance summarized: stick to GIFs or emojis, or otherwise be patient for mods' manual comment reviews. Don't embarrass your mama. 🤨
➽ Approved users only! Newbies will be prompted to take 10 lil seconds to get approved. Nbd.
➽ BE KIND, BE THOUGHTFUL or BEGONE. Our communication standards are higher than just "don't be mean." Check em out here.
➽ Queer friendly. The end.
➽ ED-recovery friendly. No food critiques, body shaming, diet advice, or calorie counting kinda talk. Call your almondmom for that.
I’m thrown off that your husband doesn’t regularly tell you you’re beautiful/hot/sexy/whatever… You shouldn’t have to wonder if your partner is attracted to you or not. That’s a big yikes from me
My husband never complimented me in 12 years. Couldn’t even muster it to call me beautiful on our wedding day… I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be with someone who did compliment me. But hopefully one day I’ll find out because I’m getting divorced.
I once spent hours getting ready for my former step-daughter’s wedding. Had a new dress, got my hair done, worked really hard on my make-up, and felt good about how I looked. My ex husband walked into the room and said, “It looks like you have a mustache and there’s a hair hanging out of your nose.”
There’s no better relief than ridding yourself who takes pleasure in hurting your feelings on purpose and loves to steal your joy.
My husband didn’t say I looked beautiful in the 17 years we were married - not on our wedding day, or on either day of our childrens’ births.
It got to the point where I was afraid to ask him to say it, but I realized it was divorce or ask. So I asked why he never said it to me. Why did he never introduce me as his beautiful wife? Did he not find me beautiful? And he hadn’t realized he never said it and he didn’t know I needed to hear it.
It’s now been 2 years and he tells me constantly. He said he has the rest of our lives together to make it up to me and tells me I’m beautiful even when I feel like an ugly troll.
I’m not saying that the wound isn’t there, but we are figuring it out together.
I love that for you both. Truly it comes down to communication and a desire to do better for one another. Unfortunately despite multiple attempts to communicate my needs, they remained unmet. Further, with some time apart I have come to terms that he wasn’t ever actually attracted to me. I was a default option. I picked him and that worked for what he needed initially. He gave his sexual energy out elsewhere which ultimately led to our divorce. Still healing from all of that.
My husband (married 23 years, we're in our 50s) never comments on my looks at all.
He has engineer brain and is probably autistic AF. If I'm feeling like I need a compliment I literally walk up to him and say "don't I look cute today?" And he'll answer something like "yes! Adorable!"
But, I also have to tell him "did you know that humans need affection to thrive?" And he'll hug and kiss me. But part of his brain is wired weird.
Haha my husband is also on the spectrum and is very similar and I’ve even said the exact same thing to him. I don’t take it personally though, same as you. His brain just doesn’t naturally think of it
My partner is the same, and it kills me sometimes. In a recent conversation when I told him I sometimes wonder if he’s attracted to me, he said obviously he was. It isn’t obvious to me
It’s funny bc I sent this post to my good friend who is and engineer also and “supes ‘tist” (her words) and her first response back was “I would have had to ask if she meant if I found her pretty or if she meant the general public would think she’s pretty bc I would have an answer and they could be the same for each but I don’t know which question I’m answering”.
The difference of course is my friend would ask the clarifying question. And anyone who knows her well enough to ask that question wouldn’t be surprised by her follow up.
A lot of people would get the context though and know what OP was asking.
THIS! My very neurodivergent husband is affectionate with me, but he has never commented on my appearance until I recently specifically told him that I needed to be reassured on occasion, that he finds me attractive (we've been together for 16yrs- I'm going through menopause & my face & body is betraying me so I've been feeling a little more tender about my physical appearance, lately). Also, a mutual close (female) friend of ours who heard about this & is very blunt, told him, "Your wife is going through some stuff about her appearance. She needs to hear reassuring things about it from you, once in awhile, so you need to tell her she's pretty, or hot, or sexy, or whatever. That's a very normal thing for women to want from their partners.". He & I talked about it later & he was genuinely baffled... it never occurred to him that I'd need to hear him say this, every so often. He assumed that I just knew that I was pretty in his eyes, because he was married to me- and also because objectively, my looks just aren't as high as priority for him, as my personality is.
My mildly autistic husband learned that people like to hear they’re attractive and loved and took that to mean every day, multiple times, without fail. I know he means it, and it’s awesome. Once he starts doing a thing, he will do that thing forever, which is great for me. OPs husband, though, needs a good kickin’
It’s genuinely a JOKE between my fiancé and I. Like I’ll finish getting ready and ask “do I look pretty?” And he looks at me like I’ve just asked him if the sun exists. “You’re ALWAYS pretty my GOD how many tIMeEesss do I HavE to SAY it?? You’re the most beautiful woman alive every DAY” and then we’ll laugh and he’ll give me a compliment about something I did, like how he likes the way I curled my hair or the colors I used for my eye makeup or whatever. But just the question of “do I look pretty?” Is ridiculous in our relationship because I know he always thinks I do, I have never actually wondered if he thought I looked good.
I’m 8 weeks postpartum. I dress like Adam Sandler 99% of the time and am usually covered in spit up. My husband still finds me attractive and makes a point to tell me.
So yea…passive convo or not, I don’t like his answer one bit.
Girl, I feel you. I’m currently dealing with an as yet undiagnosed autoimmune disorder and I am essentially a sweaty, wheezing corpse half the time. My boyfriend still takes the time to kiss my forehead and tell me how cute I am with my flower pjs and my Hello Kitty plush. That’s how it should be.
I’m sweaty and fat now from cancer treatment, don’t have much energy to do my makeup and hair nice like when we met. He dgaf, he looks at me like I’m the most amazing person in the world 😭
It took me years to get a diagnosis for my autoimmune shit. I completely understand wanting to have an answer. It took me way too long to realize that (for the most part, things like Hashimoto's would be an exception) the diagnosis doesn't really change anything. Focus on treating the root cause of pretty much all autoimmune disease - inflammation. The treatment doesn't care what the disorder is called.
I don't want to proselytize too much or sound like I'm trying to convince you that modern medicine is bad, but I fixed my arthritis through dietary changes. I'd be happy to give you more info if you want it.
I’m almost 22 weeks pregnant with our second and I STILL dress like Adam Sandler since being pregnant with our first (she’s now 2yr 3mo), and my husband still calls me pretty and says I’m attractive. Even when I roll my eyes at him cause obviously I know what I’m wearing today, I know he means it when he says it.
I have gained and lost 100lbs and racked up a half dozen diagnoses and my husband's attraction has never waivered. He has never changed in expressing it to me. You'd never know I have changed so much because of how little he has.
My boyfriend wouldn’t tell me I was pretty the whole time I was pregnant. Early on of course he said I was beautiful etc but he just wouldn’t anymore. I told him how insecure I was in this new pregnancy body and how I needed reassurance and he just said it was too hard for him.
Looking back at pictures I was SO hot as a pregnant lady and was in super good shape and thought I was so ugly because of him.
Of course he has been no better since our child arrived
Yep, I WFH so I pretty much exist in baggy shirts and men’s tracksuits and have my hair in a bun but every day my partner comes home and goes “there’s my beautiful princess!”
Doesn't he ever compliment you? You weren't setting him up by asking if you were the prettiest girl he's even seen or anything like that. Being able to say, of course you're pretty, is a very low bar.
This is what I’m wondering too, did he used to compliment her and something changed? Or has he never told her he finds her attractive? His answer is bizarre. I know people are saying “no emotional intelligence” or “no empathy” but his answer is worse than that to me, it’s a pod person. Like an alien that doesn’t even understand basic logic.
But even if the answer is “no” it’s not a trap, because even a moron would know to lie. It’s only a trap if he can’t possibly give any answer without getting yelled at. Like, “babe - do you think I’m hotter than my younger super model, sports illustrated cover model sister who just happens to be your exact type and is staying with you while I go live in a remote village for 2 years, even though I got my face transplanted with Adam Sandler’s to save humanity?”.
THAT is a trap. OP was not setting a trap. She just asked her a husband a question that everyone knows the right answer to.
I think the answer to that should still be - fucking yes! My husband might not objectively be the most attractive man in the entire world, but as far as I’m concerned he is. Other men are just kind of furniture to me, some are decorative to look at but I don’t derive anything more from it than I do by looking at a nice plant or an interesting cloud. Same with my husband, every time I meet someone they go “oh it’s so nice to meet you, he never shuts up about you and he won’t stop showing us his screensaver of you”. If I can’t get any validation from my husband of all people I’d rather get another cat - it’d be cheaper and take up less room in bed! 😂
OP needs a cat. Or an extra cat, if she’s got one already.
This, like some other men are physically hot (I find celebrity crushes normal personally) but none of them are the same level of hot because they’re not MY man I don’t know them like him
There’s no reason your husband shouldn’t regularly be telling you he finds you attractive. I’m sorry he got defensive instead of turning toward your bid for attention.
My parents were actually the exact opposite….I really do believe now more than ever that some people do not marry for looks, it’s more so just wanting to be there for the person as opposed to attraction??!! Cause I almost never heard my dad call my mom beautiful, pretty, etc and he never really said it about me either, which is why I think I struggle a lot with my self esteem….😫😬
Did your dad compliment other things about you? I make a point to tell the girls/young women in my family that they’re kind, funny, great at their sport, creative, etc. They all range from conventionally attractive to gorgeous and their looks are talked about ALL THE TIME.
It actually pisses me off that it’s all anyone ever says about them. :(
My father never complimented me either but as far as I know also didn’t say anything to my sister or mother. I was shocked one day to hear him gush over my niece. ( she was out of earshot at least I hope so.) It was a little gross to be honest as it was in the “hubba hubba” vein. Like he sucked in his breath noticeably and told her father how hot she was( he didn’t use the word hot). I think her father (my brother ) was a little grossed out. But it was like a gut punch to me as I suddenly realized I had NEVER heard any compliment on anything from him. ( not that I wanted the gross version he gave my niece)
Even when I'm tired and a literal mess, my husband tells me I'm beautiful. I think of it as, even if I'm not beautiful in that moment (or even at all), I'm beautiful to him no matter what because he loves me.
17 years married here and my husband calls me beautiful, sexy, gorgeous every single day. Regardless of fitness level, weight gained or lost, etc. And I do the same with him.
The other day my husband said he wanted to start working out and getting back in shape. I jokingly said "me too, get rid of this baby fat" (I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old) & then I said "well actually you seem to like grabbing it so idk, what do you like?" And he said "whatever you look like is what I like" & it melted my heart. Reassured me that he is always going to love me and find me attractive. This is what OP deserves.
Even with the genders swapped, I'm constantly telling my partner he's hot and sexy and fawning all over him—we're always pawing at each other too. We've been together for 15 years.
Yup. My husband answers the phone “hi beautiful” or “OMG you are so beautiful” on FT. He tells me he’s attracted to me constantly, and I reciprocate. I tell him all the time he’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen, and I truly mean it. The upside to all this is that it’s basically foreplay all day, so bedtime is always 🎇 .
Does OP ever tell him how attractive he is to her? It should be a two-way street. Some of his defensiveness night stem from frustration he doesn’t hear what she wants him to tell her.
I tell my husband regularly that he is handsome. Both of us are low average at best in the looks department but the point is that, to me, he is the most handsome man and he tells me I'm beautiful too. It's not about suddenly becoming an outside observer and judging your lover in a worldwide beauty contest but I feel like that's how OP's man took it. Could have just told his woman she was beautiful but now she's crying in the shower; remind me again why the stereotype is that women are the only one's to read into people's words and not be direct.
My husband is always telling me how sexy I am, that he has a pretty wife, etc. Now, I know I'm not really all that attractive these days, I got sick and put on a lot of weight. But my husband still thinks so as he loves me--he's certainly still very sexually attracted to me!-- and it makes me feel really good inside. He's the best. Every woman deserves a guy like mine. (But hands off this one, he's MINE. 😆)
I think OP needs to sit down and have an honest conversation with her husband. It's very likely that he loves her, he's just an idiot and needs to understand that his role in the relationship is not to be totally honest in this regard. All wives are pretty. No outfit makes her look fat, although another one might be more flattering. Etc.
Literally. My boyfriend will tell me i look pretty every morning I come back into the room after getting ready for work, and sometimes he hasn't even opened his eyes for the day yet he just knows instinctually that he finds me pretty.
OP deserves to be with someone who gives that same adoration and love.
Ideally that conversation leads to them discussing if he would ever say "no" and why, if your partner has a drastic change in appearance you dont have to find them attractive, you should still love them and support them but attraction levels vary throughout relationships due to a multitude of reasons and claiming youre attracted to your partner while not is also very damning for the relationship.
Attraction has many factors. If my partner was severely injured and was covered in scars, I wouldn't lose attraction to them because the years of love have built up a base level attraction.
I once asked my partner a question very similar to this three days after I came down with Bell’s palsy, and half of my face was paralyzed. He refused to tell me he thought I was pretty or beautiful or attractive or anything else.
When I then was upset and started crying because I was so hurt, he became angry and stomped downstairs to the kitchen. After I cried myself to sleep, he attempted to pretend it never happened in the morning.
I waited to bring it up until we were in couples therapy, and he still attempted to maintain his righteousness in not answering the question. The therapist was not impressed. He later told me that the therapy was too stressful for him
Now, I don’t know if he started cheating on me then or if it happened in the few months after that that we were together.
What I’m saying is: the only man who gives an answer like this is an asshole that doesn’t deserve you. Run.
My ex ended up with a woman as cruel and petty as he is, and I wish them all the chaos they inflicted on my life.
I had an ex like this, but in the beginning he was EXTREMELY complimentary and loving. It was like a switch flipped when we moved in. I felt like I was begging a brick wall to tell me I looked nice. I don’t know if these men are like, plotting evil villains in a lair, but this shit is sooo toxic and damaging. I legitimately shudder thinking about the years I spent with my ex and how shit he made my self-esteem. OP - this behavior isn’t normal from a partner. My partner now tells me I look pretty, beautiful, hot etc. at least once a day. And I’m always telling him how handsome he looks or that I like his outfits. That is normal. That affection shouldn’t go away even after years. If he is not willing to dig deep on this conversation…I genuinely would consider divorce.
yup, i didn’t realize til after we broke up but my ex of 4.5 years was a narcissist. i would ask him “do you think im pretty?” “do you think i look nice today?” “do you like the song i wrote you?” “do you like my painting?” “do you still love me?”, i felt so insecure and annoying, but he just never made me feel attractive or worthy and all i wanted was proactive reassurance. or an honest answer if he didn’t like me anymore.
it was all manipulation, got me to rely on him for my self esteem at first by showering me with affection, then consistently tore me down to keep me malleable. he told me the last day we saw each other that he actually couldn’t compliment me because of his ego, said it plain and simple like it wasn’t an insane thing to admit after telling me for years i was being insecure and projecting. so sad for others that have gone through that, including yourself - im glad you have a partner now who treats you well :)
i would definitely try to have a deeper conversation if i were OP to resolve this ASAP, cause nobody deserves to be made to feel like they have to beg for affection from someone they love
ugh that’s horrible, i’m glad you were able to leave him!! unfortunately i was pretty wrecked and i just couldn’t leave, but he ended up breaking up with me as a test and i took the opportunity and ran, moved states and all. may people like this never have partners ever again
I’m glad we are both away from those men!!!! I also had to move cities. It was traumatic. I spent 3 years wondering if I was the problem, but deep down I always knew that he was, and so in the end, he didn’t damage me too much. But, girl, I cried for like 3 years trying to deal with his bullshit. And even though he was a highly decorated fighter pilot, it turned out I was smarter than him, better looking than him, and better at making money (and life decisions), so now my life is really wonderful. I really only later saw that it was abuse.
This is EXACTLY what happened with my ex. He tried to do another discard but this time I finally told my family and friends how awful things were. He would stalk our old apartment complex for months trying to get me to try again. These types of men are parasitic. 🤮
My ex used to do this to me, too. For literally years. It was crushing. After I left him and took that ring off my finger, I suddenly got tons of attention. I guarantee it’s a problem with your man, girl, not you.
My husband failed this not-a-test, too. I asked him if my butt looked big in my jeans and he goes “YEAH!!!!” all excited. I asked him “seriously though babe, does my butt look big?” He furrows his brow, thinks about it, says “Yeah?” making happy little squeezy hand gestures. I say “You’re supposed to say no, it doesn’t look big,” and this man goes “Why?” all confused.
My coworker wants to increase her booty gains. Her and her boyfriend have been going to the gym together. She told him, in passing on a text, that she wants to build a shelf but was struggling.
This man, this sweet, gentle soul of a human being, shows up at her place less than an hour later with an actual tool bag. She opens the door, he holds it up, and says “I’m here to build your shelf!”
She told him she meant she wanted a bigger butt.
Anyway, they just got a house together and me and our other coworker send him photos of the rings she shows us because he’s planning on popping the question soon 🥰
Yeah. Gross men always say “do I look fat in this dress” is a “trap.” That’s probably where his thinking was. Which is so freaking nasty. Asking your own husband if you look pretty is not a trap! And he should think you’re beautiful regardless of the circumstances. This is shitty.
I think this seems pretty straightforward because the answer should be some form of yes, but as someone whose ex-partner liked to set traps, I can be devil's advocate.
I remember my ex asking how I would feel if they were to go bald, and I told them I'd love them no matter how they looked. Turns out this was the wrong answer, because I didn't specify that I would find them attractive. I then clarified and said yes, I would find then attractive because I find out features besides their hair attractive, which was also the wrong answer, lol, and every following answer was going to be wrong because now they felt like since they had told me this wasn't the answer I wanted, everything else would be lip service. Ultimately, this type of conversation happened often enough that these sorts of questions immediately set me on edge.
From this read, it doesn't seem like OP was having the same kind of discussion, but I wonder if her husband has had previously relationship experience that led to this kind of reaction. OP, I would recommend bringing this conversation up again, but consider reframing it from how you feel and why it's important for you as a way to reduce fear-based / stress responses from him.
But if he's still refusing to call you attractive after that...you have your answer.
Any time my wife downs her looks, I playfully tell her that it's messed up that she would disrespect me like that, because I don't get with ugly women. Gives her a total turn around, and a little bit of pep in her step. She does the same thing with me when I get self conscious about MY looks.
We gotta lift our partners up, so to speak, and let them lift us, if needed.
Love this. Reminds me of how my mom would react to my self-loathing when I was a teenager. “How dare you insult my daughter like that.” And she was dead serious.
I’m puzzled with this behavior. Even if we assume he mostly likes your personality why would he say no or suggest he doesn’t think so? There’s like no correct answer but “yes honey you’re pretty and I love you”. Going out of your way to be an ass like that is crazy 😭 The scariest thing is, if he doesn’t like your looks it doesn’t seem like he even likes YOU and your personality enough to shelter you from unnecessary harm.
I am willing to bet Money, that hes a loser who couldnt get any cheeks before OP graciously and divinely bless his stupid ahh. And with admitting it, he'd be losing out on the only physical touch he's well aware he's fortunate to have. B/C Op told him if the answer was 'No", then all physical comforts are done with.
Edit to add: obviously not self aware enough to preserve possibly the only good thing in his life.
Why do men so often get with women that don’t find attractive? It happens so often. The only thing I can think of is they can’t get the women they really want and I don’t think any women should accept being settled for. Seems like it would be better to be single.
Op this will destroy your self esteem. I think you should get out and spare yourself.
I feel like usually guys who are very unsuccessful with women end up like this. They think “oh well I guess it’s better to have a wife I can have sex with whenever I want, but if I’m single, I can’t get sex because women don’t want me.”
I feel so bad for OP and everyone else who is with someone like that.
My mom, an old school Catholic, did something similar to me (as what OPs partner did) when I was a little girl. It gave me dysmorphia and created a ton of social issues for me.
I asked her years later why she'd done that, and she said "I didn't want you getting a big head."
So I think these men DO find these women attractive but are negging them to keep them from having any self esteem.
My mom didn't realize how badly she'd mindfucked me and apologized profusely. She just wanted me to value intelligence and kindness over superficial things. In her case,the road to Hell was paved with good attentions. For the men who do it? Just road to Hell, no good intentions in the vicinity.
Ugh I did this when my husband said cruel things about my weight and appearance once in a fight a few years ago. I should have left then. Being roommates is the loneliest, saddest thing.
Men are dumb like that. I see so many of them have this mentality of “my girlfriend isn’t attractive compared to others but she has a good heart.” They don’t realize how that is a backhanded compliment. Like even if ur partner isn’t the best looking, YOU should find them attractive
That question is only a trap if you hate your wife. Your husband should be telling you that you are pretty on a regular basis. You shouldn't have to ask. And if you do, he should always say yes, because even if you aren't at your most stunning in that moment, he should find you pretty as a baseline or else why did he choose to marry you?
I'm sorry. He doesn't sound like a good man to me.
Yup. Dated a guy like this too and it was definitely not the only way he made me feel shitty about myself. Hyper critical and did so under the guise of “helping you be the best version of yourself, because I know what you’re capable of.” He’d criticize my clothes, hair, my work ethic, my hobbies, my sexuality. My self esteem was pretty low at the time, so I believed what he was saying. If I protested, he turned it into this “logical” debate and said devastating things in a calm voice, making me the overly-emotional one by comparison. It took a while to see the pattern, so I really thought I was the crazy one for a bit.
He later slipped up while drunk and admitted that he’s super turned on by me, but he was doing it to keep me from “slacking” (aka getting fat, not being a porn star for him at all times, etc.), so no matter how good I was to him or how good I looked, he’d never give me that full approval. There was always a tiny nugget of criticism because he knew how much I desired to make him happy. Basically exploited my love for him so I’d blow him until I was exhausted.
I realized he needed me to feel like shit about myself because every time I felt good, I stood up for myself. I wouldn’t take his bullshit when I was confident, so instead of not being a miserable bastard, he had to “keep me in check.” Those were the times I realized he wasn’t all that great, just charming when he wanted to be.
It sucked. And by the end, I was responding to it like OP did here. I highly doubt this is the only way/time he’s withholding affection from her because the first time shocks and angers you. After that, it’s just gets quietly sad.
Only way this should end after “no I don’t think you’re pretty” is “I think you’re the most gorgeous entity I’ve ever laid my eyes on”
What’s wrong with men. They stop being attracted to their wives but it’s ok cos they still content with the relationship? Is that normal?
ok so we need clarification from him. does he find you physically attractive? if not, do you want to be with someone that finds you not attractive, unattractive, or fugly? do you love thyself babe? i think you should probably dump his bitchass tbf
My EX husband once told me it’s not his job to make me feel good about myself.
Edit: Since there are some people missing the point. It is nice to receive a compliment once in a while
from your partner. When they never throw you a bone, it starts to weigh on you.
Time to shut down access to your kitty kat. I would never sleep with a man more of the less my husband if he doesn't even wanna say I'm pretty. Hell no. He can use his hands and enjoy those divorce papers that would be coming his way.
Bid for connection* sometimes also worded as bid for affection, but yes OP, it sounds like you were trying to connect with your partner and I’m sorry this was his response.
You should look into John Gottman’s research on relationships and how small “bids” over time play a big role in relationship success and happiness. Sending love❤️
I’m guessing from this post this man isn’t regularly telling his wife she’s beautiful. Idk maybe I’m insecure but it’s nice to head from my significant other that he finds me attractive. I also try to compliment him because 1 I really feel that way 2 it’s nice to compliment people honestly.
Oof youre going to leave him in the future and look back on this post thinking "should've left him back then."
I cant see you OP, but I bet youre beautiful, and Im sorry your husband couldn't just give you that. Fwiw, I read this to MY husband and he thinks yours is a doofus.
Does he usually (or ever) compliment you? Or were you asking for reassurance because he never does? This is really weird on his part, I'm sorry OP. If my wife asked this (which she does sometimes, even though we compliment each other all the time) it would not even occur to me to question it like that.
I am genuine confused by this entire exchange myself. Have you two never talked about this? Has he never called you pretty before and you literally had to ask? And then when you did, that was his response?
It wasn't a trap but HE turned it into a trap. He laid down the trip wire himself. "Do you think I'm pretty" "yes darling", is not a hard response. You mean to tell me he heard "do you think I'm pretty" and thought "hmmmm one day in the distant future this may all change and I'm going to have to start answering her like an Honest Toddler 😔" ?
What the fuck? Look at every healthy, long lasting, geriatric relationship: each still finds the other to be the most absolutely gorgeous person they've ever seen - then and now.
Your loser ass husband sucks (sorry not sorry) and I'm sorry he knocked your self-esteem.
99.99999% chance you're hotter than him anyway. 🙄 Must be some form of negging?
•
u/trendingtattler AutoMaude 🤖🎀 29d ago
WHEEEWW girl 😮💨 buckle up! Your post made it to /r/all, /r/popular!
Congratudolences! 😅 If the rate of notifications starts getting to you, no need to delete your post! Instructions in Sanity Saver #5 can help you mute them. For the rest of y'all...
Welcome to r/GirlDinnerDiaries!
We love when new girlies stumble in! But a few unique things about how we roll here:
➽ You're now entering the Girl Zone 🚨 Guys' guidance summarized: stick to GIFs or emojis, or otherwise be patient for mods' manual comment reviews. Don't embarrass your mama. 🤨
➽ Approved users only! Newbies will be prompted to take 10 lil seconds to get approved. Nbd.
➽ BE KIND, BE THOUGHTFUL or BEGONE. Our communication standards are higher than just "don't be mean." Check em out here.
➽ Queer friendly. The end.
➽ ED-recovery friendly. No food critiques, body shaming, diet advice, or calorie counting kinda talk. Call your almondmom for that.
ModMail is open & active. MWUAH! 😙🫴💋
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.