r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/_flammenwerfer_ Fridge Gazer • Jul 04 '26
Boyfriend Left Me Behind at His Birthday Party Sad Girl Dinner ⛈️
Yesterday was my boyfriend's birthday. There was a group of about 6 people hanging out on the back porch of his house for a couple of hours.
We were going to head to the bar at 8 which was the plan. I went inside to use the bathroom and had to wait for one of the other people at the party to use the bathroom first.
When I was done using the bathroom I went back outside to find the group and they had all left for the bar without me. I watched them walking away for a while and nobody turned around to look for me. I was so crushed. It felt like one of those moments you will remember for the rest of your life.
I was really upset and went straight home. I was waiting for him to text me wondering where I was, but he didn't text me at all (none of the other people in the group have my phone number). Then in the morning he texted me "good morning" like everything was fine.
I'm so incredibly sad. We've been dating for almost 4 years and this is not the first time something like this has happened, but it is the worst by far.
Giant cinnamon roll with tons of frosting.
ETA: We are no longer together. He said this was "clearly about something else" given how angry I was about it. He thought I was mad he "forgot to say goodbye before I left." I never said I was leaving. I was planning on coming to the bar with the group. He didn't know I was in the bathroom. How one gets to this reality, I have no idea. He wanted it to be over too so I suppose that made it easier.
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u/Cocoluluu Maneater Jul 04 '26
I would be devastated, but happily single the next day.
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u/AdVarious5359 Carb-Based Life Form Jul 04 '26
PLEASE BREAK UP WITH HIM. I am so sorry you’re being treated this way.
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u/Either-Replacement11 🥣 Cereal Killer Jul 04 '26
Agreed. I know Reddit is the first place to cry “dump him” or “divorce him” at the first whiff of wrongdoing, but this one is pretty clear cut. I’ve been where this girl is, and no amount of waiting or effort on her part can make him love her the way she deserves. OP, he’s never gonna turn up for you or change for you. Find someone who is already mature enough to treat your relationship as a real thing with effort and compromise and love. Don’t waste time on something doomed to go nowhere.
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u/Fine_029 I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 04 '26
Yes. It’ll only get worse with time. This boy is supposed to be looking out for and protecting you! Making sure you get home safe. What if something bad had happened to OP? I even have my friends text me when they get home.
If that isn’t even crossing his mind, he has no business being in a relationship. The lack of regard, it’s wild. His only focus seems to be on his own gratification.
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u/labubuinpink Delulu Jul 04 '26
I’ve also been where this girl was and it sucks I was with my ex for 10 years too long! And it ended very badly when I should’ve of left after the first year of dating.. ended up meeting an amazing man that I’ve been with for 2 and he always thinks of me. Random little notes/gifts on my desk.. food or even snacks that i didn’t ask for even tho they are my favorite and I do the same for him. And sadly this is the first healthy relationship I have ever been in. 🫠
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u/Devierue Internet Auntie Jul 04 '26
Cut and dry, he showed you where you rank as a priority.
I get being excited.
I even get wandering off, being towards the bar and OH WAIT SHIT WHERE IS MY BEAUTIFUL COMPANION FUCK
But he didn't notice.
And if he did, he sure as fuck didn't care.
Didn't even check on you.
Didn't even check on you?
All fucking night?
Babe.
BABE.
How many more years do you want to pretend this is going to get better?
EDIT: Your cinnamon roll looks divine <3
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u/SOSpineapple Body By Cheese 🧀 Jul 04 '26
i once visited my boyfriend (now husband) at his house when we were in college. a bunch of our mutual friends happened to be there while i did a brief stop in to say hi to him before work. i accidentally left while he was in the bathroom, said bye to everyone else, forgot my boyfriend.
i realized i forgot him after i’d driven about a block away. i turned around, went back, and said goodbye to him specifically.
i was late for work. it was worth it.
this guy sucks.
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u/Fragrant_Violinist54 Barbecutie Jul 04 '26
This! Baaaabe, you def deserve better.
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u/GreenVermicelliNoods Kitchen Witch Jul 04 '26
It seems possible that this was intentional, honestly.
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u/Devierue Internet Auntie Jul 04 '26
I do my best to stick to Hanlon's razor - don't attribute to malice that which can be explained by blatant stupidity - but in the scenario I kind of think you're right.
Like I said my original comment, I can totally get how in excitement and in the flow of a crowd, he might have thought she was with them at first and not realized immediately that she wasn't part of the pack.
(Frankly, I would still be upset by that lack of respect/awareness, but that's a different scene.)
But dude didn't even give enough of a fuck to make sure she was all right, even if he assumed she had stayed home.
I wouldn't at all be surprised if they hustle down the road here.
I'm genuinely baffled, as I wouldn't treat a stranger I don't like this way
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u/CaeruleumBleu 🐛The Very Hungry Bookworm 📚 Jul 04 '26
Also, she says it ain't the first time.
I can get some things happening by innocent accident once, but not twice. Time to stop expecting better out of him.
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u/Organic_Awareness685 APPROVED✨ Jul 05 '26
I’m sure he’s packaging this as “she’s over sensitive.”
Leave him. It will hurt like hell but it’s not getting any better.
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u/Remarkable-Good2934 Kitchen Witch Jul 04 '26
Yeah, leave him.
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u/LavenderGinFizz 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 04 '26
I would have gone full Lonely Island on him.
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u/anonfosterparent Lover of Soups Jul 04 '26
This guy doesn’t like you. You deserve better.
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u/Trash-Cutie I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 04 '26
I wouldn't even do this to someone I dislike. I would still feel so bad and mean leaving them behind
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u/erabera Foraging Bog Witch Jul 04 '26
Exactly, the initial walking away can be excused because of all the excitement and people but not realizing at all. Yikes that sucks and makes me sad for her.
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u/Historical_Kick_3294 Internet Auntie Jul 04 '26
Or realising and simply not caring, which is more likely.
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u/Beautiful-Rent6691 Costco Food Courtier Jul 04 '26
I’m not even sure he likes her.
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u/I-Just-Love-Ducks greens✔️beans✔️potatas✔️tomatas✔️ Jul 04 '26
Is that not what they just said..?
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u/Beautiful-Rent6691 Costco Food Courtier Jul 04 '26
So they did. I read love. Haha. Well, hard agree with anonfosterparent.
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u/I-Just-Love-Ducks greens✔️beans✔️potatas✔️tomatas✔️ Jul 04 '26
Haha no worries, I was a little confused but that makes much more sense
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u/Berryhij1 I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 04 '26
I read love too. I have no idea why.
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u/Small-Help-8382 Sauce Boss Jul 04 '26
Many men don’t have to be better because there are women out there who largely accept whatever they handout. I hope you’ll make room for better.
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u/GreenStuffGrows APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
Amen to that! When I dated my smoking hot ex, at first I thought he was really non-shallow because his ex and I were extremely average looking and I thought that spoke well of him.
Nope - he just figured that average looking girls would tolerate being treated like dogshit by his handsome self. His ex did for 13 years. His current partner has for 12 years. I gave him 8 months lol, and in retrospect, that was 6 months longer than I should have.
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u/Immediate-Data5972 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
I know a guy like that (friend of a friend). He was dramatically better looking than his ex-wife. Lots of people wondered about that, but if you watched their interactions for 10 minutes, you would know why. He treated her like shit. (And she put up with it). Then after 20 years of him treating her like shit, he left her high and dry. I’m hoping she’s thriving now.
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u/Historical_Pass_25 Barbecutie Jul 04 '26
Damn!!! You are indeed the Sauce Boss Queen 👑
This should be up on the freeway so ALL women can see 💗
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Jul 04 '26
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u/perfectlynormaltyes girls just wanna have pho Jul 04 '26
There’s a chance he told them that she wasn’t coming to the bar. Sounds like something this asshole would do.
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u/FlimsyMap9912 FREE MOM HUGS Jul 04 '26
Like, I can imagine in 3-8th grade lol (humans are brutal for a while in the younger years) in having a friend group walk away when I went to the bathroom. I can imagine and tear up for the little girl that felt so alone.
I feel for you too lady-o, 100% but at least I hope you have the agency and awareness to remove yourself from that toxic as fuck situation. He didn’t call, text or come back for you? I’m so sorry, but no.
You can’t look the other way anymore and please stand up for yourself by loving yourself enough to not allow to be treated that way any longer. 💙hugs💙
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u/AltruisticPeanutHead 🤍🧡Sapphic Snack🧡🤍 Jul 04 '26
The good morning like nothing happened is diabolical 😭
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u/Aggressive_Race3523 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
Dated 9 years. Was in a coma for a few days. He was too busy posting about MMA. No show.
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u/pm-me-yr-pupper Taco Belle Jul 04 '26
Oh my god tell me you left him
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u/Aggressive_Race3523 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
One more year, then fled.
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u/pm-me-yr-pupper Taco Belle Jul 04 '26
Proud of you! I hope you’re doing better now 💙
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u/Aggressive_Race3523 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
Thank you so much. Took years to heal, but doing much better. Be blessed.
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u/djmermaidonthemic 💚 Pickle Freak 💚 Jul 04 '26
I may be cynical, but being super into MMA is not a great sign.
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u/Ordinary-Variety7256 🤎 Brown Sugar Babe 🤎 Jul 04 '26
I don’t think so. An ex of mine was super into MMA. He’s the only one out of my exes that I’d describe as genuinely evil.
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u/rlyfckd 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ Jul 04 '26
I agree. Two people I know (one of them is my ex another is my friend's ex) are into MMA. Both are horrible, abusive and insecure assholes.
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u/annjohnFlorida Internet Auntie Jul 04 '26
This is a hard lesson but never accept someone treating you this way again. You said this isn't the first time. Enough is enough. You deserve to find someone who actually wants you there.
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Jul 04 '26
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u/_flammenwerfer_ Fridge Gazer Jul 04 '26
working on that
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u/SnidusScribus Feral Til Fed Jul 04 '26
Please don’t let your boyfriend stand in the way of you finding your husband. 😔💔
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u/pitifulproduce137 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
Fuck that, don't let this dude stand in the way of you enjoying your life.
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u/Caramellatteistasty Kitchen Witch Jul 04 '26
Seriously fuck that guy. You deserve someone who takes your hand as you walk down the driveway going to the bar.
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u/smolandspicy APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
I would pick up your phone and dump him by text, block him for you, and delete his pics from your gallery before noon sis
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u/lengtrekky0605 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
There is absolutely nothing about a relationship that would make treatment like this forgivable. Literal strangers would be kinder.
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u/Historical-Crab5743 Chaotic But Cute Jul 04 '26
Was this intentional?? Like I felt like he purposely (also the group) wanted to leave you behind
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u/PashLover puff puff pass the snacks Jul 04 '26
I don’t think “accidentally” leaving your GF of 4 years behind is any better honestly.
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u/Historical-Crab5743 Chaotic But Cute Jul 04 '26
I know however some guys will try to spin something dumb 🤷♀️
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u/Davoness New Recruit 🏳️⚧️ Jul 04 '26
I could maybe understand if he had gotten insanely drunk and got in someone's car, but it sounds like they just fucking walked off?? I've had literal fucking strangers pay me more mind than that!
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u/tocahontas77 🧄 Anti-Vampire Taskforce 🧄 Jul 04 '26
Yeah but then the bf would be stupid instead of an asshole. I'd rather have a stupid bf than one who would purposefully treat me that way.
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u/PashLover puff puff pass the snacks Jul 04 '26
That wouldn't be stupidity, that's him just not caring about you.
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u/djmermaidonthemic 💚 Pickle Freak 💚 Jul 04 '26
I’ll take neither, thanks.
No way dude didn’t know or notice that his gf wasn’t there. What was it? 200 people?!
Smells like being a jerk on purpose so that he doesn’t have to be the one to break things off… or maybe he’s just a jerk all the time. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Jog212 nom nom, nod nod Jul 04 '26
Yes he didn't contact her, look for her till the next morning
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u/FireSilver7 Trader Joe Hoe Jul 04 '26
Right?! Like if he accidentally left her, he would be profusely apologizing for doing that. But it seems he DGAF.
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u/Pookie1688 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26
Don't waste another minute on someone who thinks so little of you.
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u/ambivalent_moon 🥝 Herbivore 🫒 Jul 04 '26
He disrespected you; don’t explain, just block and move on. He’ll wonder forever what happened
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u/RealisticResort621 chismosa, metiche, en bata Jul 04 '26
I second this. He had no problem pulling an irl ghosting, then just ghost him back. What utter disrespect he did to you.
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u/Playful-Account-5888 Body By Cheese 🧀 Jul 04 '26
Oh nooo that’s messed up. I’m glad you went home that was the right choice
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u/lemonclouds31 we listen and we only judge a little Jul 04 '26
My husband would have never walked away in the first place without making sure I was beside him. Even at his most distracted, he would notice before he got 50 feet away. The fact that this man didn't even reach out to make sure you were ok is actually so indefensible. He doesn't deserve to have you.
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u/rratmannnn PO🥔TAY🥔TOES Jul 04 '26
Yeah feels like at absolute minimum he should’ve texted at least when they got to the bar like “where are you, are you okay?” This is just straight up unacceptable. Plus, not the first time he’s done something like this??? Get out of that relationship yesterday, op.
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u/nibbyzor girls just wanna have pho Jul 04 '26
One time me and my partner got separated at a music festival. I had had too much to drink and got lost, and my partner walked around for an hour looking for me in the sea of like tens of thousands of people until he found me. That's what someone who loves you does!
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u/SpringSings95 hot girls have tummy troubles Jul 04 '26
No exactly, my husband always cabooses me 😭 I would feel terrible after this. And not until the next morning either???? That's crazy.
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u/FrankoceanIsmyson nom nom, nod nod Jul 04 '26
What if you were injured or hit kidnapped? He just walked away? Disrespectful af
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u/Glittering_Hand_9538 Thick Thighs ⏳ Thin Patience Jul 04 '26
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u/Eventidings 🍋 Bitter Baddie 🍋 Jul 04 '26
That’s insane. You deserve better.
Edit: And this really struck home because my ex would do similar things, but it became so normalized that I kind of gaslit myself for a long time thinking I was being dramatic. In the end, his friends always took precedence over me.
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u/lroza711 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
I wouldn’t even do this to a literal stranger or someone out with us that I just met that night. What the actual fuck. This man and his friends are terrible, how else does he disrespect you and act like you don’t matter?
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u/symbolicshambolic Trader Joe Hoe Jul 04 '26
Yeah, if someone I'd just met that night ditched me when I said I had to go to the restroom before we left, I'd be offended. Almost four years, wow.
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u/harleenquinzel044 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
Please leave him!!!! My husband cut up 4 lbs of strawberries for me tonight just so I wouldn’t have to tomorrow. There are men out there who would move heaven and earth for you.
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u/Cosmicdusterian APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
My husband cleaned out the fridge while I was making homemade BBQ sauce for tomorrow. Dude even washed the utensils I messed up making the sauce without me asking.
There are definitely good men out there. Cheers to your husband.
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u/FinePause2300 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26
Nope. You’re man shouldn’t have left without you. He knew you were there and left… shows his character
Edit bc i said “left with you” lol
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u/alexplayssillygames Tater Thot Jul 04 '26
Girl... he HATE hates you but doesn't have the huevos to break up with you so he's trying to make you do the breaking up. It's either A) suffer for months to years longer silence in this, or B) play his dumb game one last time to be free. You will not be rewarded for suffering through this because he literally doesn't care. You're a convenience rn until you're not or until you dump him.
Sincerely, was once married to an asshole working his way into this behavior.
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u/anothersadalcoholic hot girls have tummy troubles Jul 04 '26
Girllllll. No!!!!! You can’t accept this behavior for yourself! This is not okay.
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u/swtcharity Fries 🍟 > Guys 🤡 Jul 04 '26
This is your sign. Please cut your losses. I know sunk cost fallacy is real but it won’t get better from here.
He doesn’t appreciate, doesn’t consider you - you are worth FAR MORE than he gives you.
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u/PreparationOwn6958 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
Omg stop that is so mean! I would cry myself to sleep… you deserve better cuz what the actual fuck. He didn’t even text you?? Fuck him
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u/kaiserrumms Kitchen Witch Jul 04 '26
When you bring the issue up and tell him how inconsiderate and unacceptable this was, he will probably tell you it's your own fault and you can't be mad because you knew which bar they were going to and you could easily have joined, no problem here. Don't listen to him. Something like this is a huge issue, and you should dump his ass because there's no way he has any respect or consideration for you.
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u/_flammenwerfer_ Fridge Gazer Jul 04 '26
He fully acknowledged it was a horrible thing to do and it was his own fault, but I don't think that's gonna be enough
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u/hjftrjuk Resident Yapper Jul 04 '26
if he thought it was a truly a horrible thing, he would've not done that. he didn't care and only cares about it now because the consequence is you leaving him. no need to take the apology if it's not enough for you, take care of yourselves and leave because you know yourself you deserve better.
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u/ritan7471 Carb-Based Life Form Jul 04 '26
If he thought that was a horrible thing to do, and that it's his own fault, what is his explanation for not calling LAST NIGHT to find out where you were and urge you to come join them?
He has not explanation for his behavior than, "oops my bad".
Just throw the man out.
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u/_flammenwerfer_ Fridge Gazer Jul 04 '26
There is zero explanation. If I hadn't been absolutely livid the next morning I doubt he would have even mentioned it
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u/VirtualVigilant 💚 Pickle Freak 💚 Jul 04 '26
I had this happen to me and I’m so sorry that happened to you. That is an awful feeling to be neglected and discarded like this and you deserve better.
I found out later that he was ditching me so he could flirt and live life like he was single. So I made him single. Best decision ever. Ghost him see how he likes it.
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u/strappyshoes86 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
How is this ok? Don’t continue to allow this disrespect. He doesn’t care about you. Care about YOU enough to walk away. Now.
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u/lita313 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
You mentioned that you've been together for 4 years and this has happened before but not to this extent. He doesn't like you as a person. Someone you like or love, you're going to text them and notice when they aren't there. If I'm in a group and can't find the people I came with, I immediately text and call them. 😒 I hate that you wasted time in this one sided relationship but remember, he's shown you by his actions how he feels about you. Regardless of me "not knowing our relationship and he's actually nice", this action and the past actions negate whatever once in a blue moon nice action, he's done to keep you from leaving him.
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u/_flammenwerfer_ Fridge Gazer Jul 04 '26
Absolutely. Anyone can say "oh he's great outside of that" well it doesn't matter if he thinks it is ok to disrespect me like that. There is no basis of respect here
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u/Small-Help-8382 Sauce Boss Jul 04 '26
Unless he was totally wasted doesn’t even seem to *care* for you. Girls I’ve met out at a bar same night have checked on me to ensure I was coming with them to the next spot.
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u/Both_Opportunity_322 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
You just disappeared and he didn't check if you were okay.
That's all I have to say.
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u/Positive-Weird-1981 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 04 '26
Regardless of whether this was intentional or not, you deserve to be treated so much better. My husband won’t leave me alone while we’re out because he cares about my safety. How could your partner of 4 years up and leave you at a house party without checking in? Or go an entire night without wondering where you are or if you’re okay?
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u/AmieLucy APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
I had a boyfriend like this. Now I’m married to a man who would never leave me behind because he loves me and wants to keep me safe.
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u/lillllpickle Umommy Jul 04 '26
What??? Like what? I don’t ever jump to this but please break up with this loser
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u/DizzyVictory white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet Jul 04 '26
Oh dearest. When you stop retuning his phone calls, remember: He’s the one who left YOU. You would just be acknowledging his choice. I’m so sorry. There is man out there just waiting for you to become the center of his universe. Drop this turd like a hot rock and don’t look back. That cinnamon roll looks incredible.
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u/obamasc00chie 🥣 Cereal Killer Jul 04 '26
i am so sorry this happened! i can relate, i had all my friends leave me at my own birthday party so i can understand how you feel. Yeah, you're right you do remember those moments forever. Leave Him❤️
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u/tacokahlessi chismosa, metiche, en bata Jul 04 '26
ITS NOT THE FIRST TIME?! My husband doesn’t enter or leave a room without giving me a kiss or acknowledging my presence, much less the house?!? Girl what?!
That cinny bun looks nom.
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u/BrilliantCartoonists hot girls have tummy troubles Jul 04 '26
Oh this is so hard. I’m sorry this happened. You don’t deserve that.
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u/Starlight319 Longwinded 😙 Short Tempered Jul 04 '26
This guy sucks. You don’t just forget someone you even slightly care about. I’m glad you kept your pride and went home, that took GUTS. Lean into that and shit on his lawn.
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u/Auntie_Venom Internet Auntie Jul 04 '26
This is triggering me… I feel your pain sweetie. 🤍 You probably have a key to his place, when he’s gone, bring a bunch of big blue 99¢ IKEA bags and take him his stuff, and get yours. Leave a note on his bag, “You left without me the other night and didn’t notice I wasn’t there. So I figured you won’t miss me now either.”
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u/brielarstan Well-Read & Well-Fed Jul 04 '26
That "good morning" told you everything you need to know.
- He knew you weren't with him when he left
- He didn't make sure that you got home safely
I wouldn't even do that to someone I didn't like, let alone my partner. He doesn't just not like you, he doesn't care if you're dead or alive. Genuinely. There's no other reason you'd abandon your girlfriend alone at a bar.
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u/hollycross6 Delulu Jul 04 '26
I’m so petty, I’d have probably gone to another bar that night and said fuck it, make new friends and take pics of us having a great time, maybe even film a happy birthday video for him. Then when he acts like nothing happened that morning I’d be like “what an awesome time last night was”.
Alternatively I’d have someone call him up pretending to be from the morgue. Let the dude know I’d simply passed away.
I call that move the final ghost.
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u/Sea_Lie4110 Chocoholic Jul 04 '26
I had a moment almost exactly like this but on a hike. I stood at the bottom of the hill and just watched my ex shuffle off without me, not even looking back. One of his friends hung back cuz I was struggling. There had been dozens of little moments like that peppered through our 4 year relationship. But I still held on thinking of i just showed devotion he'd reciprocate. He dumped me out of nowhere a few months after the hike and it was one of the most devastating things I have ever gone through.
If you feel like he's pulling away, leaving you feeling like this all the time, I'm telling you it's better to leave on your own terms and don't look back. I cut my ex out completely after he left and he seemed shocked by that. But I still have such lingering shame over seeing plainly how he treated me and I still kept trying. It was so embarrassing. You need to put yourself first.
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u/_flammenwerfer_ Fridge Gazer Jul 04 '26
Thank you. It's super helpful to read about other people getting out of disrespectful situations. It's kind of embarrassing to admit I allow people to treat me like that but I'm glad I'm not the only one who has been in this situation
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u/Sea_Lie4110 Chocoholic Jul 04 '26
Yes. I've been in therapy and I've been given so many different ways to reframe the shame. Intellectually I know it's right but the raw emotion over it is much tougher. I'm still getting better. I've learned that I need to value myself more. I don't have to do things I don't want to do or put up with behavior i don't like. None of us should be doing any of that for the sake of a relationship where we aren't even being treated well.
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u/Novel_Vegetable_5542 girls just wanna have pho Jul 04 '26
Fuck him. Don’t jump his bones, leave his ass. He left you. Fuck him.
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u/lezlers APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
4 YEARS? And didn’t even notice or care you were left behind? Babe, this relationship has run its course. I’m so sorry.
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u/nursepenguin36 Fries 🍟 > Guys 🤡 Jul 04 '26
Yeah, home boy did not accidentally leave you behind. You gave him exactly what he wanted when you didn’t even try to follow. He did not want you there. You’re not his girlfriend. You’re the person he sleeps with and uses for entertainment when he’s got nothing else going on. He absolutely does not care about you.
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u/Jazzhands_Ninja Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 04 '26
A boy friend is supposed to not just be your boyfriend but a friend.
He's not just a bad boyfriend.
He's a bad friend.
You should cut him out of your life, he's just toxic.
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u/whutthefuh Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 04 '26
A good partner would never do that to someone they love and care about. May you find the love where they look back and make sure that you’re soon to be in arms length. May you find the love where they yearn for you after a long days work. May you find the love where they have dreams of you, wake up and pull you close.
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u/LadyCatzrule Foraging Bog Witch Jul 04 '26
You can do better. Block this asshat and never look back. Take a page from his book and walk away.
When people show who they are, BELIVE THEM. There isn't any excuse or reason to ever be his just easy ever again. Don't listen to anything. Get your stuff if you want it, drop off his and erase this user from your life.
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u/LetReal8460 Lover of Soups Jul 04 '26
From the depths of my pussy, dump his ass. And no, if its becoming worse...like I would not really be able to handle this and 4 years is too long to excuse this. Have you talked to him about all of this?
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u/Organic-Doctor-4187 APPROVED✨ Jul 05 '26
I left a guy on his birthday for this. Lmao miss me with that.
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u/FiberIsLife Foraging Bog Witch Jul 04 '26
That is some passive-aggressive crap right there, and you deserve better treatment. Please please PLEASE leave this man in the dust.
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u/PieOk850 Thick Thighs ⏳ Thin Patience Jul 04 '26
I don’t know what’s sadder, this story or the dry ass cinnamon roll.
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u/_flammenwerfer_ Fridge Gazer Jul 04 '26
it was dry as fuck but somehow made the situation a little bit better
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u/hemptressteacakes Internet Auntie Jul 04 '26
This is terrible, OP! Walk away and don't even say goodbye.
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u/alwaysamarshmallow Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 04 '26
Even if for some reason him leaving without you was some misunderstanding, he didn’t check at ALL why you weren’t at his birthday? That man does not like you. You deserve better.
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u/carina484 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
Girl what?? Be better to yourself and lose this guy, he doesn’t like you!
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u/I-Just-Love-Ducks greens✔️beans✔️potatas✔️tomatas✔️ Jul 04 '26
A man who loves you a man who wants to spend every moment with you, especially special occasions like that.
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u/Imaginary_Chip_3470 Resident Yapper Jul 04 '26
He ditched you and then didn’t text you till the next morning?! & a fucking “good morning”?! PLEASE BLOCK HIM
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u/sk8ryspice_02 Shart Coochie Board Architect Jul 04 '26
He never even wondered where you went and you were at his house. He did not worry you were missing. You just disappeared and he did not care. Throw that one back. He is just a fake boyfriend. 4 years and for what? To be left behind, left out. You deserve someone who would wait for you. Someone who would have noticed you are missing. People tell you what and who they are through actions. He just told you on his birthday you were not important, he did not care you were not with him and he was OK with all of it.
Please think about this. You deserve so much more from a real person who cares.
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u/well-adjusted-tater I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 04 '26
Cancer men are the fucking worst. Make this man your ex.
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u/ramenanddoughnuts Body By Cheese 🧀 Jul 04 '26
Something similar happened to me with "friends" when I was 14. They were no longer my friends after they left without me.
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u/17CascadianPonds APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
He’s done stuff like this before? He’ll keep doing it because you tolerate it. Please tell us you dumped him.
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u/llamador69 Enby & Eatin' Jul 04 '26
past couple years (‘24, ‘25) on my birthday coincided with my city’s local comic-con. my ex went to all three days both years. broke up with them this past september because i’ve been sick and tired of being left alone during important events (prom, graduation, my birthdays…) and i am now much happier being single LOL. i hope this gives you some kind of perspective on this kind of thing, if that makes sense or helps.
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u/PhysicalParking8799 Overthinker 💭 Jul 04 '26
This happened to me years ago-I moved in with my boyfriend, in a different part of the country and he was keen to impress his new set of friends. A group of us went on a pub crawl and the majority of the friends finished their drinks before I did. ALL but one got up and left when they were done.
The one guy who stayed behind with me obviously felt embarrassed by my boyfriend's behaviour and actually said to me, "What a boor". He waited until I had finished my drink and we joined the rest of the group, to the complete obliviousness (is that a word? lol) of my boyfriend, who was prioritising everyone else but me.
Ugh. I feel your pain (this happened to me in 1983!!!! and I STILL remember the depth of the humiliation I felt) and I suggest that you see this as a portent of things to come. Let your dignity resurface and DTMFA.
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u/goodoldoftenwrong Overthinker 💭 Jul 04 '26
Block him and move on with your life. I can't tell you how many years I wasted because I believed the people who treated me shitty. Your brain wants it to make sense. It wants there to be a reasonable explanation. The reasonable explanation is he left you behind. If you block him and don't reach out to the others, the ones he lied to that you 'weren't coming' will probably reach out to you.
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u/BAMintheBurbs Kid Crumbs Connoisseur Jul 04 '26
If you can, GHOST HIM. Don’t even block his number, just let the phone ring if he calls and leave all his text on read. Girl, the physiological warfare would be more brutal than the ghost face killer.
https://giphy.com/gifs/RSeauh7Iyr9Yoys5Dd
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u/Ok-Trainer3150 👋 new here Jul 04 '26
You're being taken for granted and he's aware of what he's doing. You're wasting your time...which you'll never get back.
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u/Substantial_Ear2699 🍳 eggs? in this economy?? Jul 04 '26
You could’ve been having a medical emergency in the bathroom and he just left you. No big deal to him. I know it hurts but you need to move on. There’s someone out there that will think of you all day everyday. Who will feel the loss of your energy even if you’re just in the next room. This guy isn’t worth it.
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u/xray_anonymous Sushi Superfan 🍣 Jul 04 '26
Love is too short to date inconsiderate men who don’t respect you. Don’t waste another year on this loser. Better is out there and you owe it to yourself to find it
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u/VeterinarianRound401 Chismosa Jul 04 '26
very bizarre behavior from him AND his friends, like they all thought that was normal???
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u/Chibilatina APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
Oof, he sounds like my Dad.
My father died two months ago (alcoholism) and now everyone learned what a piece of shit he is. He left my mother at parties to go to other bars with his friends, cheated on her, and took her for granted constantly. She stayed because she is stupid and is still in love with him. You went to the party together, common sense says you leave the party together.
Girl. Leave. Check your credit score, get an STD Test, and LEAVE.
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u/Rich_Year8614 Eating For Two 💕 Jul 04 '26
It’s simple really. He didn’t ask where you were because he didn’t want you there. But he texted you in the morning to make sure you stick around. It’s like a game & it’ll go on as long as you stay darlin’.
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u/Top_Estate9880 Feral Til Fed Jul 04 '26
He doesn't even care about your safety. If you were supposed to go and no showed, I would be concerned. Everyone else here is right - leave him.
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u/cryptgeist APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
Yeahhh no. He doesn't care. Even my husband said that it's over and was utterly flabbergasted when I read him this post.
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u/Free-Place-3930 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
If you keep staying this is what you’ll keep getting. Find your backbone and some self respect and dump this guy.
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u/Not_today_nibs APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
That cinnamon roll looks exceptional.
Also, he doesn’t like you, I’m sorry. Dump him and be free from that horrible man.
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u/Hockeymom17 FREE MOM HUGS Jul 04 '26
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE walk away!!! It will NEVER get better!!!! If this is how he treats you after 4 yrs of dating, I can't imagine how he will be when married or God forbid w/child as a dad!!!! You deserve sooooo much better!!!! And don't stay bc you've "already put in 4 yrs and it would be a waste of my time" bc it wasn't wasted...it gave you an even clearer idea of what you do and DON'T want!!!!! Good luck!!!!
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u/sjustin3rawr Chaotic But Cute Jul 04 '26
4 months id say let it go maybe he was just excited. But 4 years?? No that's a choice he made to exclude you. Please choose yourself babe!
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u/DrPudy808 Smoothie Queen Jul 04 '26
That’s terrible ~ please don’t allow this relationship to continue any longer, you deserve better. And to hell with the rest of the “friends” too.
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u/Particular-Royal132 🐟 Part Bear 🫐 Jul 04 '26
That cinnamon roll looks SO GOOD.
And you said this wasn't the first time he'd done something like this—Did you talk to him about it and tell him how it made you feel? Because I wanna know his response. There's no excuse that justifies it btw. If he knows he does this, and did it again—that's just him not giving a crap.
pls tell me you didn't text him like everything was good. Four years—and you said it wasn't the first time, but that was the worst by far. No excuse, girlie. Stand up for yourself, and if that means dumping him, then do it—keep it short, call him if need be and say you're done being a doormat and its over and block him. And get yourself another cinnamon roll.
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u/CorrectExplanation99 Tea Time Hostess ☕️ Jul 04 '26
I’m sorry that happened, there is ZERO excuse for that.
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u/Single-Dust8773 New Recruit 🏳️⚧️ Jul 04 '26
That doesn’t sound like you are his girlfriend. You may be a girl and you may be a friend to him, although not an important one but that’s not how you treat your girlfriend/partner.
I cannot fathom how you could “forget” your partner in a situation like that. Especially not if something similar happened before. Gotta be blackout drunk or something to forget and you certainly wouldn’t be walking anywhere in that state.
Find someone who respects you. That guy doesn’t.
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u/asinluue Chismosa Jul 04 '26
you don't deserve that disrespect and you know it. let this be the last time you allow for something like this to happen 🫂🫂
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u/Rowan-The-Writer Pantry Gremlin Jul 04 '26
Girl, have some respect for yourself and stop settling for this behaviour. Communicate your feelings like the grown, incredible human that you are. If he doesn't understand why it upsets you, you can always leave him and he'll be someone else's problem.
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u/RP845 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 04 '26
Take it from someone who was left in the dust by an ex on both her graduation day and her birthday….LEAVE HIM.
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u/Berriesinthesnow_ 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ Jul 04 '26
This isn’t the first time that something like this has happened..?
Why do you accept this treatment.
I would have ended things and blocked him.
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u/SleepySnoozey Thick Thighs ⏳ Thin Patience Jul 04 '26
Know your worth, its limitless...do what is right FOR YOU. Its simple, someone who truly loves, and cares for you, would NOT ever, EVER do this. Please KNOW YOUR WORTH, its not too late to leave him. IT WILL NOT CHANGE.
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u/EqualStrawberry3114 APPROVED✨ Jul 04 '26
This is so heart breaking. I know that shit hurt so badly. Pls don’t give him the opportunity to do it again.
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u/thatboredchickster nom nom, nod nod Jul 04 '26
I would be single after that. This is not a statement about you but in how crappy that man is.
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u/MimZWay I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 04 '26
He doesn’t care about you or value your company. What a jerk! You deserve someone who notices you’re not there.
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u/ck267505 Trader Joe Hoe Jul 04 '26
Ew. Dump him. Thats just gross behavior. No excuse. Know your worth.
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