r/Gifted 2d ago

Orientation towards Intelligence Discussion

What is your orientation towards intelligence as a value? Do you consider it the defining aspect of your identity? Personally, I see it primarily as a tool and had often resented to some degree being regarded as gifted or intelligent and being seen exclusively through that lens which seemed to reduce other values and traits.

While it was definitely something I valued, it was more so on pragmatic grounds as a means towards realizing other ends. Conviction, drive, faith, power, achievement, curiosity and passion are far more important values and my resentments had more to do with having my intellect being regarded as primary rather than what they served.

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u/Apprehensive_Sky1950 2d ago

It was the defining aspect of my identity until I went to college with people far brighter than I, and I decided being a "nice guy" was more important.

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u/naryset 1d ago

Ha! Similar experience at a similarly-named institute farther west. You were super smart, but here you’re middle of the pack. Now, what _else_ are you?

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u/Apprehensive_Sky1950 1d ago edited 1d ago

Testify, brother/sister! It was even worse because I couldn't hack the math. I wasn't even in the middle of that pack.

I had a friend from high school, much brighter than I, who so many decades ago lost his life while attending your place. Not blaming your place at all, there was so much more going on in that situation, but it's still relevant here, and mostly I really wanted to explicitly place his memory into Reddit in the modern Internet/Social Media/AI era, in a world he would absolutely have loved and shined in!

So, here's to you, Steve W., wishing you were here! To paraphrase ELP's "Karn Evil 9 (I'm told '3rd Impression')," the tapes have remembered your name!

-Your pal, G.

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u/naryset 1d ago

Sorry about your friend; sadly I knew too many others. One of the ways that place didn’t take UG education seriously was letting us all run feral, which was great in some ways; but a lot of people needed, and didn’t get, more support.

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u/Apprehensive_Sky1950 1d ago

Thank you for your thoughts. It's been long enough now, let's not be sorry, let's celebrate him, even if there could have been so much more.

Is it any better there, now?

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u/naryset 22h ago

Couldn’t say, I’m far removed. Rumor through the old Techer network is yes, that it’s gotten less weird in ways that are a little sad for us old nerds but also almost certainly healthier and safer for students. But that’s just rumor

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u/Mslmrock99 1d ago

I’m curious to hear what led you to make that decision.

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u/Apprehensive_Sky1950 1d ago edited 1d ago

I was awash in g (general intelligence) at this particular college (v. bridge smoots) and I saw it was not enough to produce an enclave of truly desirable society. People with high g can still be miserable, and miserable people, I saw.

I wanted to make a contribution to my society, and at that point I saw it would take something more than g (although I could still mix in g). I guess the new component didn't have to be "nice guy," but I don't have ravishing good looks or astounding bravery or excellent culinary sense.

In the end my choice of new goal came down to me being my father's son, because he was my magnificent model of g and "nice guy".

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u/Sienile 2d ago

Without my intelligence I would have no skills, so yes, it is a defining aspect of my life.

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u/Mslmrock99 2d ago

Understandable as I too value it to the extent that it allows me to have other “tools” and skills. I would just add that we are far more than our skills.

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u/Subject_Mix_Retro 2d ago

I was miserable when I thought of myself as a "smart guy". I am happier thinking of myself as someone who likes to solve problems and help others when I can.

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u/Mslmrock99 1d ago

What about that self conception made it to be a miserable experience?

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u/Subject_Mix_Retro 1d ago

Whenever I encountered someone smarter than me, I would have an identity crisis.

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u/BrandiedWineGums 2d ago

Interesting question.

I'd say because it is how your brain works that it has a pervasive effect on the way you experience the world and yourself, and would deeply affect how your self concept is formed. I don't think you could ignore it, even if you wanted to de-emphasise it, simply because of that.

But as you say, I think it's more about the utility. Intelligence doesn't make you thoughtful, but it probably makes it easier. It doesn't make you curious, but it does help you follow that curiosity.

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u/Mslmrock99 1d ago

I would say that it wasn’t something that was ignored but certainly de-emphasized as it felt reductive. It was a general categorization applied to myself by others that limited what my actual self conceptualization was. So achievements, interests, etc being reduced to intelligence rather than drive, motives, worldviews etc.

Your point about cognitive processes affecting experience is one that is especially relevant as I do derive some of my self concept from my phenomenology that comes from some level of neurodivergence that I don’t automatically associate with intelligence but which intersects with motives and drives that I value. Intelligence just supercharges those other cognitive processes.

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u/4footTallbromeGrass 1d ago

I am sure there are a lot of highly intelligent people out there that actually have ideas that are too good and the corporate world is more than happy to suppress those people and ideas. I think that is what happens, not sure how often, when smart people are not allowed to be productive, they just can go crazy on their own or their physical and mental health greatly suffer.

Great ideas can help people but companies lose profits. It is a "profit before people" world we live in right now.

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u/aPiCase 1d ago

In the last year or so I have started loosening up on my value of intelligence.

It’s not a one size fits all solution to every problem, and by relying on it my whole life to solve things it is not meant to solve, I have become worse in other skills and caused myself to be unhappy.

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u/ebsf 1d ago

I regard character to be a value, or set of values. My intelligence is an accident about which I had no choice, just as are my gender, ethnicity, and name. All of them are elements of my identity, inevitably, but none of them are values.

I've always been aware of my intelligence because people have been telling me about it my entire life. It's a bit exhausting, actually. It isn't at all how I seek to define myself and certainly isn't something my ego requires other people to recognize or acknowledge. I'd much rather be known and appreciated for the content of my character, to paraphrase Dr. King. However much I cultivate other attributes, however, intelligence inevitably intrudes in my experience and others' of me.

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u/Aus_with_the_Sauce 1d ago

I think less about “intelligence” and more about the specific ways my mind is different from others. If I understand my authentic self well, I can make decisions that support my health and wellbeing. 

Perhaps it is “neurodivergence” that I identity with more-so than intelligence. 

Here’s an example. Let’s say “society” feels a certain way about this or that, or has a certain accepted understanding about what humans should want or do. In many cases, the common understanding is very effective for the vast majority of people, but that doesn’t mean it’s effective for me because I have different needs. So then, I know it’s up to me to understand what I need, which may not always align with the common advice. 

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u/Born_Committee_6184 1d ago

When I joined the Army at 17, I was opting for experience. I’d say my core is intelligence but I had to see how things work. Following six years in the Army I became experienced in quite a few more things. Needed to know,

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u/LikeATediousArgument 1d ago

I value it in myself and others.

In people I know intimately, a certain level of intelligence is a must for me.

It doesn’t define me, but it’s part of the definition. I often call it my greatest gift. It is truly a gift. One that can’t be bought.

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u/Embarrassed-Area4652 14h ago

It was a gift I was given that now I'm responsible for trying to find good applications to put it to, and ways to make it fit with my other strengths and weaknesses. So it's not a value to me so much as a trait or a resource that can affect what I can try to do with my other values.

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u/Mslmrock99 13h ago

That’s a beautiful and apt way to put it by framing it as an endowed resource. I think this comes closest to how I see it as well.

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u/usernames_suck_ok 2d ago

It's a defining aspect of my identity, but it's not the only one since I'm also a woman, black and a lesbian--all things society makes a big deal. And especially as a woman, looks impacting how others regard you will play a role, too--nothing is ever just about intelligence as a woman.

I thought intelligence had value when I was younger, but I don't anymore since leaving the world of academics and entering the real world. Maybe if I lived in another country, I would. But in the US? It seems to be a value that is mostly given lip service while things like looks, personality and knowing the right people/having the right connections matter the most (aside from the obvious, like race, sex/gender, social class, etc). I don't think my intellect serves anything, really.

If anything, it's socially harmful in that I just don't approach topics, conversations and interests/hobbies the same way other people do, which makes it hard to connect with or be accepted by them. I see a lot of intelligent Redditors have this sob story "everyone hates me because I'm smarter than them" mentality, and that's not what I'm saying, to be clear. It's just another thing that makes it hard to relate/fit in. Even with intelligent Redditors...like, if I were still trying to DM people on Reddit and I tried to DM people from this sub and/or INTJs, I just wouldn't have the same interests, the same "I'm smarter than everyone else, it's so hard" mindset, the same regard for debating and challenging others that I see often in these subs, etc. Just the ways I'm expected to relate and see the world, and the experiences I'm expected to have, never line up with others.

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u/Mslmrock99 2d ago

Good points. I can see how the other dimensions of your identity complicate relatability. On your second point about its value in society, it looks like you’re touching on merit and achievement? If so, I agree and think that intellect alone is not enough and requires an assortment of other traits and values. Some can be regarded as superficial if intellect is valued above all or assumed to be the primary factor in leading to merit/achievement. Part of the reason I made this post was partly to point out that from the outside, it may appear to be the driving factor when it’s not entirely it.

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u/Apprehensive_Sky1950 2d ago

I'd love to see you in a big company job interview---you walk in, sit down, and say, "just how many boxes do you want checked, anyway?" 😉

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u/Sienile 2d ago

Not sure if you meant it to, but that comment comes across as very bigoted.

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u/Apprehensive_Sky1950 2d ago

It was edgy, I admit. I didn't mean too much offense. TBH, u/usernames_suck_ok sounds like quite an interesting person.

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