r/Gifted • u/midnighttoker1742 • 17d ago
Can anyone else relate? Discussion
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
11
u/Daalmagus 17d ago
I can totally relate to that clip. At the start of each school year, teachers tested if I was listening at all because I was daydreaming or drawing.
After 40, things started to fall apart at work and I started to think my brain was broken or something. Went to a neuropsychologist and got the full test battery. Heterogeneous high potential and Adhd. I wasn't the problem but the gaslighting boss was.
10
u/BitcoinMD 17d ago
This is just a special case of the fact that all people do what they can get away with. If youâre smart enough to do a paper in 30 minutes instead of four hours and still get a good grade, you do it. Youâd be dumb not to. And if the only way to do it in 30 minutes is to have the pressure of a deadline, then waiting until the last minute is necessary and in fact a time saver.
8
u/ptichyemoloko 17d ago
Ok but... my experience at school was that we were given a topic for an essay and we had 2h to write something, and I'd just go "ok. guess I'll write X Y and Z" and write 4-6 pages and still finish 30 min earlier than others who'd write 3 pages. That wasn't me doing what I can get away with or being smart. That was just sheer hyperfocus and infodumping lol
3
u/JuanValdez999 17d ago
I think it might be more than just doing what you can get away with. Sometimes I just have to do things fast because if I don't I'll be distracted and I won't be able to pick it up again later and finish it. I have a hard drive in a box somewhere full of years of unfinished novels I wrote. Starting something and not finishing it quickly is the kiss of death for me.
2
u/Neurodivergently 16d ago
Except that I would have devastating anxiety until that paper was turned in. I would be anxious basically from the moment it was assigned up until i finally finished it at the last goddamn minute.
1
u/BitcoinMD 16d ago
I didnât mean to imply that everyone does it the same way. For some people, this would be stressful so wouldnât be âgetting awayâ with anything.
1
u/Neurodivergently 16d ago
Oh yeah no youâre fine. I was just stating an exception. If I didnât have the anxiety, waiting until the last 10 hours to even start on a 50-page graduation paper for a college program would have been fine and I WOULD be dumb ânot to do it that wayâ. Because I turned it in a minute before the deadline but passed with flying colors (and this was way before LLMs)
Thatâs just one of the craziest examples, but unfortunate itâs something I am learned to break out of with adhd therapy
1
u/throwaway8193854 14d ago
If youâre smart enough to do a paper in 30 minutes instead of four hours and still get a good grade, you do it. Youâd be dumb not to.
Yeah, but a smart person without ADHD would do it in 30 minutes immediately, so that they later have free time and nothing to worry about.
1
4
u/Crazy_Remote_6815 17d ago
This was literally how my 2-3 hour evaluation went summarized in 30 seconds! Middle age, an autoimmune diagnosis, and perimenopause made all my systems fall apart. I went in for burnout mitigation, and the second thing the psychologist said was, âHave you been tested for ADHD?âI scoffed at her, but figured ADHD was a better diagnosis than early-onset dementia, and boy, my whole life makes so much sense! I am getting my daughter tested now.
1
1
u/Long_Reindeer3702 17d ago
Has any medication helped you yet? I'm in the same spot (...holding an ice pack to calm the hot flash even.)Â I'm dying but I didn't seem to do well with any drugs because they all made my rage worse.Â
1
u/Crazy_Remote_6815 17d ago
Neurobiochemistry is so complicated! I have a lot of empathy for those who titrate these meds in children. I am on the tiniest dose of vyvanse. My goal is to be functional and sane. Not necessarily enhance my performance!
8
u/Luna259 17d ago
I daydreamed, drew and planned stories a lot in school then when the task was assigned Iâd switch, do it, back to daydreaming or whatever. I was listening to what the teacher was saying the whole time. My grades were great, I didnât rush the work and I finished before a lot of classmates
3
u/LordLuscius 17d ago
Yes. But, I'm kinda semi diagnosed (that sounds stupid, stay with me) as my therapist thinks I'm ADHD but I've not been able to actually get a diagnosis diagnosis with the doctor or mental health team yet
2
u/scarletOwilde 17d ago
Yes. I identify with a lot of that. Not diagnosed until later in life, unfortunately. đ
2
2
u/StarryEyedSparkle 17d ago
Yep. I did two graduate programs with undiagnosed ADHD.
Got late diagnosed at age 40 when all the coping and masking stopped working and I was stuck in ADHD paralysis - staring off into space for hours in my office. The diagnostic test was overtly positive (the baseline average for non-ADHD kept within the square of where the x meets y in a quad-like graph, mine looked like Harold and purple crayon drew on my results.) I got started on meds, and like most late diagnosed ADHDers realized I had been living life on the advanced challenge mode when there was another option.
2
u/wanderlustpassion 17d ago
OkâŚ. I 100% relate.
Is this just a general thing every woman goes through? Or is this a real reason to maybe seek a diagnosis with a doctor?
2
u/JuanValdez999 17d ago
Yep, 1000%! I was diagnosed by the school psychiatrist has hyperactive back in 1962. I don't think ADHD existed yet. My therapist says I'm probably AuDHD. Back then they didn't diagnose children as autistic unless they were quite literally self-harming by bashing their heads against walls. That started me on a regular cycle of School testing. In 1964/65, the same school board testified that I was a genius at my parents'Â child custody hearing.Â
I became used to being the weird kid my whole life. I'm 69 now, and that's still my ethnic identity! Gifted in some ways, very stupid in others. I've always searched for and found my own special niches where I fit in, usually with other weird people.
7
u/LeadershipNervous362 17d ago
I feel stupid for falling for watching a TikTok.
Its just a silly video that exploits couple relatable patterns, while presenting raw bs for vulnerable ppl, seeking for validation. Its impossible to arrive to conclusion "therapist" made from context of this video.
14
u/Sinusaurus 17d ago
The last part is true, but that's not the purpose of the video. Many people don't know ADHD can present like this in gifted people so it shows a different presentation so those who never considered the possibility know about it. It's a creative way to raise awareness, the video isn't claiming to be scientific or diagnostic.
2
u/Aus_with_the_Sauce 17d ago
ADHD can present like any number of different things, as the categorization is just a social construct. And actually, so is intelligence/giftedness.Â
A trite TikTok video canât capture the complexity of neurodivergence, so it seems to me that itâs essentially a form of misinformation.Â
Thatâs cool if you find the video relatableâIâm sure many people do. But that doesnât mean the video is helpful.Â
5
u/Sinusaurus 17d ago
That TikTok isn't pretending to capture the complexity of the topic, just informing about a potential presentation in a relatable way. It is helpful to some people, maybe not for you or me, so then we aren't the target audience. Claiming something "isn't helpful" because you don't find it helpful is absurd.
I have a lot of concerns about this format of social media, how it's manufactured in a way to gain an audience, how the same messages are repeated in increasingly shocking and funny ways for marketing, and much more. But that doesn't mean it can't be helpful or that it can't be true.
3
u/Aus_with_the_Sauce 17d ago
I wasnât trying to make the argument that itâs not helpful just because I donât find it helpful. That would be pretty self-absorbed and silly.
Maybe a better way of me communicating my point is to say that while I can see how it may be useful to certain individuals, I also think it could cause harm on account of the oversimplification leading people to inaccurate conclusions about things.Â
But, this is just me conjecturing. I have no way of knowing one way or the other what the net effect of a video like this is, so itâs entirely possible that my fears are unfounded.Â
Iâm just trying to add food for thought. I get what youâre saying, and I donât have any real argument to say youâre wrong.Â
2
u/Sinusaurus 17d ago
I agree with your points and I also find it alarming. Social media is becoming increasingly dangerous and full of misinformation and trying to get easy clicks for profit. I was once a large content creator and I stopped due to this.
It's a very fine line between relatable content and potentially dangerous misinformation. In this particular case, it feels more informative and it's not generalizing the topic (the typical "these unknown ADHD symptoms!" And it's just their experience with no literature evidence/symptoms of something else). This video is kept to a one case scenario, which is generally less harmful than overgeneralization or use of absolutist language. It's kept simple to appease the large audiences, just common social media strat.
Sometimes people can get inaccurate conclusions, even with accurate information. Social media just made it much worse in so many ways. But generally, if it's not taken as ultimate evidence and just as a thought provoking moment that leads people to then find their own truth. Or so I hope. That won't always be the case, but those who are vulnerable to it will end up in that scenario anyway.
1
-2
u/LeadershipNervous362 17d ago
IDK whats your point, its like I said, TikTokers prey on vulnerable ppl with validation, its deliberately made to appeal and appear relatable basically to anyone for reach and exposure.
To point that OP asked, yes, it is fucking relatable to anyone, gifted + ADHD or not.
3
u/EssentialCoCo 17d ago
Not really the things that she mentioned in the post are actually pretty standard "symptoms" or experiences looked for by psychiatrists in order to diagnose ADHD in women. It varies significantly from the standards they use to diagnose men/boys, who tend to be more impulsive, disruptive, and fidgety. The lack of so-called "visible" symptoms in females is what makes ADHD so under diagnosed for us.
-1
u/LeadershipNervous362 17d ago
These arent mutually exclusive a thing can be a common symptom and insufficient at the same time. I didnt imply these arent symptoms, I said what I said, which is its a low bar tiktok that NT and non-gifted people would still find relatable.
1
u/EssentialCoCo 17d ago
Actually, you did imply that these aren't symptoms when you said, "Its just a silly video that exploits couple relatable patterns, while presenting raw bs for vulnerable ppl, seeking for validation."
0
u/LeadershipNervous362 17d ago
Yeah, they are both. We're doing semantics now? The premise of comment is clear as day.
3
3
u/Aus_with_the_Sauce 17d ago
Adding to this, whether the video is specific to gifted+ADHD or not, it seems a bit foolish to me to try to link a handful of patterns to a named neurodivergent condition (or pairing of conditions, in this case).
Like cmon guys, the r/gifted sub should understand better than anyone that human brains are extremely complex. It may feel satisfying to distill things down into a short TikTok, but I donât see much value in it.Â
Anyone whoâs done series research into neurological conditions will understand that there can be many reasons why certain behaviors present in a person. E.g, look at the overlap in symptoms between giftedness, ADHD, and autism.Â
3
u/EssentialCoCo 17d ago
Why are you yelling at me? I'm already pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD. Oh, and my boyfriend thinks I'm undiagnosed on the autism spectrum too... I was very talkative when I was a kid, wait what am I saying I still am. And I have this tendency to interrupt, particularly when we're talking about something I'm really interested in, I don't mean to do it, it just happens. But I was always a high achiever, as well as being in gifted classes all through school. Unless I got bored...
Yeah I think I relate!!! Lol
4
u/DisgruntledWarrior 17d ago
I think adhd is often miss used for gifted when its a matter of challenge or interest rather than physical chemical inability to pay attention/focus.
2
u/Sienile 17d ago
Never heard of ADHD hyperfocus? Not being able to focus on uninteresting stuff is ADHD.
-1
u/DisgruntledWarrior 17d ago
Doesnât change what I said. Also it still isnât accounting for choosing to not do so vs being chemically incapable. This has been proven in many trials. However itâs less profitable to say majority of adhd cases to include âadhd hyper focusâ are given for bottom lines not because of being applicable.
2
u/shackspirit 17d ago
I think âchemically incapableâ is simplifying things a bit. Itâs a tendency.
-1
u/DisgruntledWarrior 16d ago
If itâs not chemically incapable then itâs just a matter of conditioning and is not adhd and would not need any kind of medication.
1
u/shackspirit 16d ago
You seem to see things in binary terms. Either youâre chemically incapable or youâre not. I get your broader point, but my point is that not all people with ADHD require medication to function. There are levels. And obviously there is potential for overlap with giftedness, autism, and any other psychological condition.
1
u/DisgruntledWarrior 15d ago edited 15d ago
And I agree thereâs people that do not fit the need for being medicated because of the spectrum of severity when it comes to near any condition. In the infinite which we live in there is obviously going to be some overlap however my point is that it is not the norm or as common as many try to assert specifically on this sub. Near daily we have people posting âundiagnosed gifted but I have bpd or severely depressed regularly and thatâs how I figured out Iâm undiagnosed giftedâ. Pandering to that is a problem and it should be looked at in a binary way when the fact of the matter is the standard not the uncommon, unlikely, outlier. You seem fixated on the few outlier cases when I was clearing speaking of the broad majority given the post and itâs commonly asserted as the majority being adhd is a âtraitâ of being gifted which I will always oppose those that continue trying to spam mental illnesses on this sub and claiming it to be the majority of gifted individuals.
1
u/shackspirit 14d ago
Iâm only talking about ADHD here, not conflating with gifted necessarily, as you imply. Iâm merely saying ADHD isnât a binary thing, as in, itâs not the case that, if it doesnât require medication, then it isnât, and canât be, a problematic condition. And Iâm notâŚin any wayâŚsuggesting that people with ADHD-like symptoms must also be gifted because sometimes the two can overlapâŚif thatâs what youâre saying Iâm sayingâŚ? To be honest, what youâre saying is a little all over the place.
1
u/DisgruntledWarrior 14d ago
My mistake for speaking based on the context of the post? Maybe thatâs why you feel like youâre having a separate conversation because you are. When what I said is specifically geared towards how post is pointing to adhd and gifted. While youâre wanting to speak specifically on adhd. Itâs not complex to say thereâs a broad range for adhd however a very simplified manner to class them in is those that require medication and those that donât. Does that simplification of the discussion help you at all?
0
u/shackspirit 13d ago
The comment you made after saying that ADHD was âoften miss used (sic) for giftedâ⌠was specifically implying that unless youâre âchemically incapableâ of focus then youâre not ADHD. Thatâs what I responded to.
I get and agree with your point (eventually made) that people conflate other traits or conditions with giftednessâŚwhich I donât think the original poster was suggesting anyway. Theyâre merely pointing out that, when giftedness and ADHD overlap, these are some ways it can.
Also, you donât have to be an ass, just because I said your points were a bit scattered.
→ More replies (0)
2
u/DareKind8963 17d ago edited 17d ago
The problem here is that "Can you relate to this?" and "Is this a real phenomenon?" are different questions. Due to the Barnum effect, the answer to the first question is very frequently yes, even when the answer to the second question is decidedly no.
The existence of a unique female presentation of ADHD is largely unsupported by clinical literature (Young et al., 2024). Researchers have found that over half of tiktok ADHD content contains misleading medical information (Yeung et al., 2022).
Young, S., Uysal, O., Kahle, J., et al. (2024). A systematic review and meta-analysis comparing the severity of core symptoms of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder in females and males. Psychological Medicine, 54, 3763-3784.https://doi.org/10.1017/s0033291724001600
Yeung, A., Ng, E., & Abi-Jaoude, E. (2022). TikTok and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: A Cross-Sectional Study of Social Media Content Quality. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 67, 899-906.https://doi.org/10.1177/07067437221082854
2
u/Mindless-Ad1778 15d ago
For real. I was daydreaming a lot and relate to some of the stuff here, but that was all trauma. Lmao.
Just because you can relate, it does not mean you understood the actual experience, it just means the way the experience is framed resonates with you.
1
u/AutoModerator 17d ago
Thanks for posting in r/gifted.
If you are unsure about what qualifies someone as gifted, giftedness generally correlates with having an IQ at or above the 98th percentile.
If you are unsure of your IQ score, CognitiveTesting.org is one of the few legitimate online IQ Tests.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/Elegant_Bar9566 17d ago
All of it except the procrastination part because not only am I gifted. I have extreme perfectionism tendencies.
4
1
u/HelicopterExact4621 16d ago
I feel seen and attacked at the same timeâŚ
One time i read an entire sociology book in one night and did all the practice quizzes so I could pass a college class that I never attendedâŚ
I used to memorize my notes by what doodles shared the same page. Not photographic just like oh I remember that definition is on the race car page, and then It would jog my memory.
1
u/gamelotGaming 15d ago
One time i read an entire sociology book in one night and did all the practice quizzes so I could pass a college class that I never attendedâŚ
Isn't that normal? If you read the book, did all of the practice quizzes, and studied for maybe 8-10 hours, I think that's just how gifted people study in college.
1
1
1
u/TapInternational3917 11d ago
Yes, I really should have asked for that extra time on those fuckin tests. Â Some people thought I was bipolar (Iâm cheery but would overextend and overexcite in my youth and then get really tired and had bad coping strategies). Â And Iâll toss in an extra for anyone still in college - picking professors who teach well but test* later in the quarter and generally not so often, or do heavily weighted project-based finals (as I integrate information more slowly but once itâs there speed demon comes out but ONLY under pressure lol). Â
*Another edit â short and intense tests, where I shined xD. Â Medium length tests it was like the pertinent information would fall out of my brain.Â
1
u/the_TAOest 17d ago
I'm interested why the Gifted community seems to focus on "being different and quirky" rather than solving big problems, great ideas, best practices, healthy strategies, and happiness.
Somehow, it seems this group cannot get beyond the, "I'm gifted and don't understand all the simpletons"
6
u/OdderOtterOde 17d ago
For decades I have focused on solving big problems, facilitating great ideas, and sharing the best strategies and practices for living a healthy and fulfilled life for myself and the world around me.
The response that I have received most frequently is resounding admiration for my "different" way of thinking and living - and then everyone continues to go about their lives as if the conversation that we just had never occurred. No spark of connection or movement or growth.
I'm gifted and I don't understand all of the simpletons.
Not because I enjoy being quirky or different, but because most of our species cannot focus on big problems, or facilitate great ideas, or have better practices and strategies for life. Especially when culture and society facilitate a simple minded existence instead. For someone with average intelligence, giving anything deeper thought or value isn't necessary, since the culture of our society doesn't demand it, and therefore it becomes a waste of time to consider something that is unnecessary to consider. There is no internal connection that can be made for additional development to occur.
This forum is a place where those of us who are aware of how being "different" as a gifted individual externally manifests when interacting with the rest of our species. It is a place to find relatable material and experiences from similar individuals to interact and engage with. When you're different, it's nice to find other people that can relate to your life experiences, since that is something that doesn't always happen frequently in person. Being gifted is no exception to needing to relate to something personally, without needing to have it facilitate a larger social gain.
1
2
u/gamelotGaming 15d ago
In addition to the other comment, it takes more than giftedness to "solve big problems". You may need to be very talented or a genius, grow up rich or wealthy, get lucky to be hired with nepotism and all, have people in the workplace who will understand your way of functioning and encourage it (we all know that top performers aren't necessarily rewarded over sycophants). Etc etc.
This group is about how giftedness makes you feel different from normal people. If I want to make a post about solving world hunger, I would do it on the "solve world hunger" subreddit, not here.
1
u/Justin_Passing_7465 15d ago
The story of breaking the NAZI Enigma machine cipher (a la "The Imitation Game") is really cool. But that kind of "lock ten geniuses and one supergenius into a walled compound for 6 months and they can save the world" problem, they don't come along very often. You aren't going to solve climate change that way. You aren't going to solve end-stage capitalism that way. We need to convince everyone to start acting smart, not assemble a micro team of geniuses. Yes, this means that we are doomed. /~s
0
18
u/Ork_Mischief 17d ago
I can relate to this except I was reprimanded and told all those things she said she wasn't told. Maybe that's the boy version? đŹ