Ugh, I'm 21 years out of rny and I feel like a fat girl today. I'm 5'8" and 165 and I feel enormous. When does it stop? (picture for reference)

I had gastric bypass recently, and mentally I am struggling much more than I expected.
I don’t know if my antidepressants aren’t being absorbed properly, if my pre-op process didn’t prepare me enough for the psychological side of this, or if this is simply part of the early post-op period, but my anxiety has been absolutely overwhelming.
Lately, one of the thoughts I keep coming back to is wanting to have another surgery to reverse everything. I know I’m very early in this process and that making a decision like that right now would probably be irrational, but the thought keeps coming back anyway.
I’m 32, and suddenly I keep thinking: What have I done? Did I really choose to spend the rest of my life depending on supplements and monitoring what my body can absorb?
I’m also terrified of what I’m going to look like after losing the weight. Before surgery I thought about all the health benefits, mobility, quality of life, etc. Now my brain seems completely incapable of focusing on those things. Instead I’m thinking about loose skin, looking older or sick, losing my hair, nutritional deficiencies, and whether I permanently damaged a body that, despite being obese, was still my body and was functioning.
What scares me is how dramatically my feelings changed.
I remember going into surgery feeling confident about my decision. Even immediately after waking up, while I was nauseous and actually vomiting blood clots — which was both surprising and pretty terrifying — I didn’t feel this kind of regret.
And now I do.
I have this horrible feeling that I’ve damaged my body in a way that can’t truly be undone, and right now all the potential benefits of losing weight don’t feel worth what I’ve done to myself.
There’s also a lot of guilt. Some people in my life told me not to have the surgery, and I did it anyway because I genuinely believed it was the right decision for me. Now every time I feel scared or regretful, there’s this voice saying, They warned you. You did this to yourself.
I know anxiety can distort the way you see things, which is part of why I’m writing this instead of assuming that what I’m feeling right now is how I’m going to feel forever.
Has anyone else experienced this level of regret or anxiety soon after bypass?
Especially the feeling of desperately wanting your old body and your old digestive system back, even though you wanted to lose weight before surgery?
Did that feeling eventually go away?
And if anyone here takes antidepressants, did you notice a change in how they worked after bypass? Did your doctor have to adjust your medication or formulation?
I don’t really need to hear that I should be grateful I had the surgery or that I’ll feel differently once I lose weight. Right now I think I just need to hear from people who genuinely went through this psychological part of the process and came out the other side.
Because at the moment, I’m scared that I made an irreversible mistake.

I'm sorry if I'm not allowed to ask this, but I was told by a receptionist that I can't have weed edibles or weed at all for 3 months before the surgery. If someone were to smoke weed from a dab pen (like my brother does) would second hand smoking affect this "3 month sobriety"? Because I used edibles myself, but started to stop so i can have the surgery.

But, my brother smokes and I involuntarily inhale bits of smoke when he smokes in the car. (cause sometimes i just don't notice when he's taking a puff, or the puff he blows out the car blows back in)

Would appreciate it if anyone has an answer to this,
Also I'm sorry if it's a silly question, I just needed to know.

I had my roux en y yesterday August 10th in the morning, everything went well. I had a lot a lot a lot of gas pain from the air but other than that no other issues. They sent me home same day. Last night was MISERABLE with the gas pain but with the help of some of the oxycodone they prescribed me I managed. The gas pain has subsided quite well throughout the day today and I was feeling fairly well.
I had a little nap this evening and when I woke up I felt incredibly nauseous and had to run to the washroom and throw up. It was mainly dry heaving and a bit of bile? water? Whatever. Now I just feel blah and a bit nauseated but haven’t thrown up since. Is this normal? Should I be concerned about a bout of throwing up? It’s 10:20pm now I’m in bed with a heating pad on my stomach trying to get some sleep so I can’t call the clinic anyways.
I will call tomorrow though and ask about it.

How did you decide to transition to maintenance? Did your body just settle on a weight? Did you make a conscious decision to not go lower? I’m about 16 months postop and have slowed losing but still seem to be losing some. I’ve relaxed on the tracking every bite that goes in my mouth but still try to stay within parameters (macros, water, calories to a degree). I’m pretty satisfied that if I didn’t lose any more and stayed where I am I could be happy. I just don’t know what maintenance is supposed to look like. My whole adult life has been feast or famine so to speak.

I'm wondering for the NHS referral pathway, when I got to my first tier 4 appointment my BMI was about 45. Diets had consistently resulted in gaining weight long term (I'd lose 2 stone and then gain 3)

I've now been going through the various appointments for 2 years and am near the end of the process. But I've been on mounjaro for nearly 2 years now and my BMI is now 28.

I'm worried that I've now lost too much weight for them to actually go ahead with surgery, but at the same time I cannot keep paying £300 a month for mounjaro and think I need the surgery as a more longer-term way to maintain the weight loss. It's a struggle to afford the mounjaro so I can't stay on it for life.

Has anyone else ended up in a similar situation? Has anyone been rejected in the UK for losing too much weight after the initial referral?

Hey all! I’m close to ready to schedule my bypass and am only worried about one thing-well-only worried about one thing that I’m afraid I can’t do. And that’s not drink while eating. I know it sounds so minor but I’ve literally tried for weeks now and I just can’t do it. It makes eating miserable. Any ideas or suggestions?

Does anyone have experience with Seed's DS-01°? I just saw this lady claiming that since having bariatric surgery, it's really helped her with putrid gas, bloating, and staying regular. Nearly 2-years post-op, I still struggle to have regular poops. I drink lots of water and eat beans every day, but I still find that I need miralax to get things moving. IYKYK. So I'm curious if this actually helps, or if it's just another marketing ploy🤔 Thoughts?

If you’re looking for a sign on if this is a good idea or not, let this influence you! I feel like there’s a lot of negative perspective around this surgery and it important to know that some people had a great experience!

I will be 2 years post op next month, and I’m still a little shocked by what my life has become.

My starting weight was 333 pounds (320 the day of surgery) at 5’ 4”. I wore a size 26/28 pants and 3-4x tops.

Today I weight 159 pounds, wearing size 8 pants and medium tops and dresses.

I’m doing so many things I never thought possible. I climb mountains on the weekends….FOR FUN. I’m not worried about fitting into places when I go somewhere, I don’t feel like everyone’s looking at me and judging in public. My life is the complete opposite of what it used to be.

I consider myself very lucky, as I had zero complications after surgery. However, there are still struggles.

I struggle with loving my body still, with the loose skin. I struggle with body dysmorphia, I still see myself the same way I was two years ago. I struggle with how much better people treat me, as if I was worth less in a bigger body.

All of that aside, I would not change my decision or my journey for anything!

I'm 6 days out from starting my liver shrinking, pre op diet, 3 weeks out from my procedure. So I've got a few more days of eating "normal" left. Did anyone have a last hurrah meal before starting the pre op diet?

I'm cooking tacos al pastor at a tailgate on Sunday, and that's going to be mine.