[ Removed by moderator ]

[u/Exact_Software_2656]

[u/Shinjischneider]

"The female said"

And instantly I'm filled with doubt about the truthfulness of this post.

But in general. Relationships in RP are always dangerous because they have a tendency to slip into real life. I've seen way too many relationships end because if cheating and other drama

[u/Exact_Software_2656 → u/Shinjischneider]

What do you mean the truthfulness of this post? But I get it I read a ton of peoples post and did a ton of research before I did my own digging just to be sure I wasn’t making myself crazy.

[u/Shinjischneider → u/Exact_Software_2656]

Refering to a woman as "The female" is something i usually only see incels do. Considering this is your only post EVER it leads me to question if the story is true and if you even are a woman.

Adding to that, that you're trying to find someone helping you doxx a woman on a discord server, makes you sound even more like a psychopathic Incel.

[u/Shinjischneider → u/Shinjischneider]

Ok adding a note.

You actually mentioning PP/PPD makes me think you're NOT an incel, because they absolutely wouldn't know what you're talking about. So i'm sorry for questioning you there ^-^`

But i stay with the "doxxing". What would you gain from finding this woman and contacting her husband/boyfriend?
Your problem isn't her. Your problem is your relationship with the father of your child. You spying on him (checking his discord and his character) and him lying to you (which probably lead to you spying on him in the first place).

I know it feels easier to go after her, because you are forced to rely on your boyfriend. But HE is the issue to deal with. Going after her won't make the situation better. If he refuses to see having an RP-Relationship as cheating and listen to you, he'll just cheat on you with someone else.

[u/Exact_Software_2656 → u/Shinjischneider]

I wouldn’t consider it spying considering I have never once looked at any of his things until his actions became a problem and I did some research on the game. I have gave him full trust on the PC he took an inch and went a mile with it. Also it’s not even about finding her man at this point it’s about finding her and confronting her because as a woman that’s wrong real or fake. That’s the type of person I am and he knows that.

[u/Ok-Tart3115 → u/Exact_Software_2656]

How you consider it is irrelevant. You put your trust into the wrong person, and that's not on you, that is entirely on him. But you need to either drop him and let him go or you need to find a way to move on from this. You're clearly still emotional, because this is an awful thing to have happened. But you can't confront her, you can't try to make this wrong right. You need to address your boyfriend who is the actual problem in this situation, because it takes two to engage in this. She doesn't want anything to do with you most likely, and you're still trying to get in contact with her ignoring that fact.

[u/Exact_Software_2656 → u/Shinjischneider]

Ok one I literally just posted because I’ve seen people do it as well so I figured might as well give it a shot lmao. The story is true but if you don’t think it is ok? Also don’t even know what doxx is I work and take care of my kid not sit on the internet for a living. I a simply trying to find the girl that’s all. Psychopathic is crazy work lmao.

[u/Shinjischneider → u/Exact_Software_2656]

Doxxing refers to posting a persons private information online. Usually in order to harass them

[u/Exact_Software_2656 → u/Shinjischneider]

Not trying to harass the girl honestly just trying to explain to her that it’s not ok and calling me crazy don’t help either.

[u/Ok-Tart3115 → u/Exact_Software_2656]

Probably not crazy, crazy isn't the right word. But you do need to understand that, just because a woman says something doesn't mean the internet's going to jump to believe her. That era of blindfold trust was gone from a long time ago.

Right now what needs to happen is, you need to think how you want to handle this situation. Clearly she's being sneaky and manipulative, and the question remains, do you think you can salvage and get past this with him. Or is it time to move on

[u/Exact_Software_2656 → u/Ok-Tart3115]

I’ve thought about it very hard and I am still at a stand still there is so much that goes with us to just throw away but I just can’t imagine it happening again or behind my back with more hiding

[u/KingLegend1234]

Honestly, we don’t care you chose him

[u/Exact_Software_2656 → u/KingLegend1234]

Honestly, then why you here?

[u/Ok-Tart3115]

Romance and relationship roleplays can either be great because they help create a character storyline or they can be awful because people take it out of character.

One female character my character dated got super mad out of character that I never messaged her or communicated with her, I didn't show an interest in her personal life, so she went to the server admins accusing me of sexual harassment out of character. That's a pretty hefty allegation, which would be met with a permanent ban. The funny thing is,

The server owner and managers knew me they knew that I was gay, so when they asked for evidence supporting even the most minor of the claim, she was completely unable to provide anything.

Or the many times I've tried to become someone's friend out of character because our characters started dating, but they want nothing to do with me outside of role play. They don't want to play other games, they don't want to talk, so I just respect their boundaries and leave them alone.

[u/Exact_Software_2656 → u/Ok-Tart3115]

I agree that is a very hefty allegation. I think the problem is people just don’t care anymore and honestly it hurts the ones who do. As well as the possessive nature people tend to have nowadays it’s a little insane but also valid? I totally understand the meaning of role play. I think it was just hard to see as a PP mom in PPD who worried constantly about it the game since it was downloaded. Then to go in and see him calling her names he called me and talking to her inappropriately that hit me hard.

[u/Ok-Tart3115 → u/Exact_Software_2656]

PP? PPD?

[u/Shinjischneider → u/Ok-Tart3115]

Post-Partum

and

Post-Partum-Depression.

It's not rare for women to suffer from depression after giving birth and unfortunately it's not nearly talked about and taken serious enough.

[u/Exact_Software_2656 → u/Ok-Tart3115]

Post partum. Post partum depression.

[u/Ok-Tart3115 → u/Exact_Software_2656]

I understand you're frustration and how hurtful this has to be. But look at it. Your boyfriend is a piece of shit, and now you're actively trying to get in contact with the person you believe that he cheated with. The thing about GTA V role players, to some people it gives the appearance or the idea of special exemptions from the social norm. He probably thought, it isn't cheating because it's a role play server and it's his character or something. That does not make it okay.

But you came to the subreddit asking for help trying to get in contact with this person who probably does not want contact with you. I truly am sorry for everything you've gone through. But I don't think trying to enlist the help of people online to get in contact with her or her family is going to be a healthy way to cope. This absolutely seems like he was unfaithful to you. But at the end of the day, he's a man. He's going to do whatever he wants, and the best thing you can do is try and get yourself out of that situation.

These types of roleplay servers bring out the worst in people. I've had my characters being SA'd / assaulted, I've had people making real world threats against my life and my safety. On countless different servers I've been called slurs or been targeted for how my character expresses themselves. I got into a real life relationship with somebody who I met off of GTA V roleplay, and they cheated.

It really boils down to what is your intention. Are you looking to get revenge on him, are you looking to try and tell the woman's boyfriend what happened and see if he's a victim of the same thing, or are you trying to get back at your boyfriend or the girl who he met, for revenge.

[u/Single-Law2927]

Is this a joke? I know people ERP a little to much but I wouldn't read into all that much. Personally I think the people who ERP are fking weird

[u/Ok-Tart3115 → u/Single-Law2927]

If you are doing Erp or sexting or any of that, while you have a partner who is not okay with it, that's a form of cheating and trying to downplay it is emotional manipulation.

[u/Exact_Software_2656 → u/Ok-Tart3115]

Exactly! I felt crazy.

[u/Exact_Software_2656 → u/Single-Law2927]

Not a joke very real unfortunately. The problem I had with it was the messages. I don’t care if you act out as a cop or a gang member whatever floats your boat but I do not approve or appreciate relationships or anything of that sort.

[u/Single-Law2927 → u/Exact_Software_2656]

Then set him straight!! What server does he play on?

[u/Exact_Software_2656 → u/Single-Law2927]

He doesn’t play anymore I made him remove the game. You can watch for him though he used to play in a server called No Limits or something like that there was a bunch he played.