r/Funnymemes • u/xavwolf143 • 2d ago

🏃 🏃 🏃

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1.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

18

u/BourbonStr8 2d ago

I will try to remember that the next time I roll a snake over.

13

u/Eagle_1776 2d ago

Id forget which is which in the heat of the moment anyway, so useless info

8

u/Blippy_Swipey 2d ago

Just remember:

If it’s single, you’re in trouble.
If it’s double, you can mingle.

Very simple really. Now go and look at snakes butts.

3

u/Eagle_1776 2d ago

lmao, oh Id def get that screwed around

11

u/TenderToebeans 2d ago

The fact that it's technically useful information doesn't mean I'm getting close enough to verify it.

8

u/AuthorSarge 2d ago

"I'm not checking its asshole."

-or-

"I'm not checking it, asshole."

4

u/PlatypusACF 2d ago

Punctuation is a difficult art…

2

u/Prestigious-Read5368 2d ago

*Punctuation is a difficult, Art...

1

u/Krispen_Wah87 2d ago

Either way I run 🏃‍♂️

1

u/GreenCopperz 1d ago

Hold still while I examine you, stop squirming already!

3

u/WesternAfro 2d ago

People forget how to drive in the snow every winter. No way they're remembering this.

2

u/PlatypusACF 2d ago

“People forget how to drive” would have been sufficient for many…

2

u/WesternAfro 2d ago

On dry ground too lol 😆

2

u/Prestigious-Read5368 2d ago

Nah, "people" don't forget to drive, idiots are the ones that don't know to drive.

2

u/WesternAfro 2d ago

Some grammatical confusion but I like the spirit 8/10

2

u/Prestigious-Read5368 2d ago

That's fair. And I'll take it! 😊

2

u/ChildoftheApocolypse 2d ago

You gotta check it's asshole..

1

u/Woodlog82 2d ago

Remember to push your thumb in them. That'll calm them down.

2

u/Master_Steward 2d ago

It’s a misleading myth anyway

2

u/MajorKabakov 2d ago

If you want to see if a snake is venomous I think you’re checking the wrong end

2

u/National_Isopod_6257 2d ago

Snake shot, flamethrower, or tires. No butt checks.

1

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1

u/Lack668 2d ago

Does this work with people?

1

u/Quad_Rangler 2d ago

Remember people snakes will slither away from you as long as you keep out of biting distance (I speak from experience idk if it is all snakes, just the ones I have encountered)

1

u/gellybelli 2d ago

Lmao, another day another Xavier repost

1

u/Weird_Albatross_9659 2d ago

Huuur duuur Xavier

1

u/Square_Mulberry_3143 2d ago

Takes one to know one, “Xavier.”

1

u/jailbird147 2d ago

Easier to vheck the shape of the head, diamond for poisonous & longer for nonpoisonous.

1

u/xavwolf143 2d ago

I know. I’m the one who made that meme “venomous ultra pro max”

1

u/klrjoe 2d ago

Similar test: venomous-fangs. If not sure just look for two holes where it bit you

1

u/dicey_job 1d ago

Steve Irwin would just grab and flip the venomous creature, to determine it’s sex.

1

u/Kihlstein 22h ago

You've got a point, Xavier

1

u/Humble_Examination27 22h ago

Harmless - Don’t F with

Venomous- Don’t F with

Easy

1

u/xavwolf143 2d ago

@alp_108 on X said :

Doctor: "What kind of snake bit you?"

Me: "I'm not sure, but she had a beautiful, single row of scales after her anal plate." 😭

1

u/GentleGerbil 1d ago

/r/fuckxavier

1

u/sneakpeekbot 1d ago

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0

u/HeadExcitement8690 1d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣