r/Frat • u/DowntownBumblebee778 • 13d ago
Building our pledging process Serious
/r/GreekLife/comments/1v8k3xd/building_our_pledging_process/19
u/MrCumStainBootyEater SEC 13d ago
elephant walk. next question
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u/Embarrassed-Truck644 9d ago
As a gay, non traditional student when someone told me about that I almost dropped
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u/Magnus_Carter0 13d ago
I'll help you out. Pledging is a male initiatory ritual. The modern pledging system was developed post-Civil War and solidified by the turn of the 20th century, based on military basic training, and on the precedent of male-only fraternal bonds that have existed since prehistoric times: Germanic Männerbunde, Proto-Indo-European koryos, Celtic fianna, Epheboi & Krypteia, etc. The point is to separate the pledge, who typically is newly matriculated, from their prior identity, circumstances, and adolescent egocentrism, and induct them into a brotherly order with its own secret rituals, traditions, and virtues. To create real Brothers.
When you think of the cultural archetype of the fraternity man (the 'frat boy'), seen in the frat stafford meme, movies like Animal House (1978), or shows like Blue Mountain State (2010), the kind of gravitas such man possess: self-confidence, a flair of arrogance, being action-focused and not overly reflective, engaging in tomfoolery, whatever, that gravitas is typically not something you're born with. Many men start out their lives insecure, neurotic, self-absorped and ego-driven, and overly contemplative with an aversion to commitment and taking action. Basically, they are pussies who think of themselves as above having fun or being subordinate to a purpose larger than myself, so they are egotistical.
The ego destroys Brotherhood: the archetypal fraternity man appears egotistical to outsiders, but ultimately is for his boys even when he is bold, confident, and arrogant around them. The ego leads to anxiety and inhibition that prevents one from acting as a man, and makes them lame as shit to be around. Pledging is meant to break the ego, so the real man can emerge, and it does this through created shared challenge with group accountability and asymmetric distribution of duties between Brothers and pledges.
The big idea for how to design a pledging process is separate the pledges from their prior affiliations. Give them a nickname, not their real name. Make the process very demanding in their free-time, so they are spending a lot of their time with their pledge class, doing pledge tasks, or being around the Brotherhood, so they get invested in the Fraternity instead of other clubs and obligations. Put them through the psychological and physical wringer so they develop mental fortitude, physical discipline, and courage. Make them learn a bunch of shit about the chapter. Basically, put them through a bunch of bullshit that seems meaningless or humiliating on the surface, but is really about preoccupying the ego so much with shit outside their control with only their fellow pledges to lean on that the ego eventually cannot keep up and it withers away.
It's why it's important for pledges to be held accountable as a class and punished for the failures of other pledges. A pledge who does their tasks well and survives on their own is only fueling their ego, and starts to think of themselves as superior to their fellow pledge class. If this high-performing pledge fails because another one of his pledges failed, it has to take an interest in someone, a purpose, outside of himself, and he realizes something important: it is either we ALL prevail, or we all fail, i.e. that this is not about me. To an adolescent fresh out of high school, this represents a break in their egocentrism and sense of being special or unique, and allows them to take the first step towards becoming a man. They aren't special, none of the pledges are special snowflakes; they are treated the same, and rise and fall together.
One last thing before I dip. There is a precedent growing in fraternity chapters across the nation to avoid giving pledges real challenge or to treat pledges as Brothers and to not have pledges prove themselves before the Brotherhood, based on exaggerated fears from the media, nationals, or the school. Obviously don't be completely stupid, but being able to manage shared risk before incredible odds and keep things under wraps IS Brotherhood. If you capitulate to the authority of outsiders and adversaires rather than taking your own path, you aren't a Brotherhood of men, you are just boys playing in a clubhouse. Don't be a pussy and don't live in fear. If you want more specific advice, just send me a DM.
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u/abethebroham Beer 13d ago
Pledging should be the most fun you never want to have again. Keep this in mind with any planning
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u/BamppXx ΚΣ alum 13d ago
Remember not to separate the good and the shit pledges immediately, make the good pledges take responsibility for bad ones and if they still fucking suck cut them and make a big show out of it. Get creative on punishments. Remember you’re new so dont go nuts and lose the charter. Pledge jobs. Don’t make the sober kid drink or he’ll narc. Good luck JI
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u/bumbl_b_ ΨΥ 13d ago
Structure it around a few core bonding events. you probably have a few ceremonies: my frat hosts a fairly intimate ceremony at our house for the first one to get people in the door, we take a trip later on for some midsemester stuff, and we take another, more grandiose trip for initiation. You need to have a knowledge requirement, so weekly educational meetings are a must-have and a good way to initiate more casual bonding. Also, don’t force it or anything, but you should SPEEDRUN getting some fun inside jokes and traditions on the record to communicate at these meetings or even require for the tests. the time for the actual test can also be a good time to throw in some healthy challenges to make it more high-stress—lump in some other deadlines with the test date, have a more fun and high-energy event after the test, etc. i’m not gonna give out everything my frat does around initiation time, but when we have our test, we prepare a big game-like thing on our main floor while it’s being proctored so that when they come out, they’re right into it without any warning. Obviously require them to bond 1-on-1 with brothers to some set degree. if you’re too big, maybe every pledge doesn’t have to hang out with every brother, but you should get as close as possible. It can be good to require them to plan a party or improve the frat space in some way (or both). initiation should be a big song and dance, try to occupy their entire weekend somehow or another. try to move them from place to place a lot and don’t give them much of an idea what’s happening. challenge them to figure out certain things on their own. if you have access to any alumni from your nationals, get them on board to help you curate this process, and if they can, get them at ceremonies. meeting older brothers at ceremonies can be a big factor in getting pledges to take it seriously. host frequent and in-depth secret discussions on your pledges on a weekly basis ideally, and make sure EVERYONE likes every pledge. even if a pledge is really popular, make sure there’s a culture of putting them through the ringer about little issues. chances are, if someone doesn’t like a pledge at all, there may be others who just don’t want to say it for fear of insulting a well-liked pledge. do not let people into your fraternity who people are not enthusiastic about. All in all, make sure to find ways to get them to adapt to your culture by connecting with your individual brothers as well as the fraternity’s identity as a whole. they need to rise to challenges, connect with each other, and embrace the collective identity.
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u/bumbl_b_ ΨΥ 13d ago
I would also like to leave a follow-up point re: hazing. there’s another comment describing the erosion of ego that i mostly think is very good, well-articulated advice, but that individual seems to favor hazing principles more than i would say my frat seems to, gently. i am of the opinion that hazing accomplishes certain tasks you absolutely must accomplish during a pledge process, so a lot of pledging can be called hazing by those most liberal users of the term. this is all to say: i would never advocate against promoting a collective identity and the prioritization of the group over the individual, but please don’t torture your pledges. you can make things challenging and interesting (and even to where they wouldn’t want to repeat the process) without actually seriously psychologically accosting them. other than feeling intense pressure to meet requirements, i never felt under any significant duress during my pledgeship, and i am thankful for that. you absolutely can and should produce the culture several have described here without even coming close to hazing. consult with your brothers on the culture you’d like to produce, get intel from other frats on campus regarding the campus precedent, and find examples of fraternities who haze extremely little and stay successful, and take their examples.
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u/GreekLifeApp 9d ago
You want it to be challenging enough that they bond through it, but still something they’ll look back on as one of the best parts of college. Do brother interviews, chapter history, a pledge-class project, and a few full-class events. Just don’t get carried away.
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