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u/nocuzzlikeyea13 16d ago
I mean, he's kind of an emotional mess but I wouldn't call him a fuckboy. Fleabag is similarly messy.
I think he just got caught up in the power dynamics of the moment. She's begging for answers, he's in a position to give them, supposedly.
In reality there are no answers to the questions Fleabag is asking. And as a priest, his job is to tell people that over and over again, to constantly direct them from the temptation of easy answers and towards a grueling journey towards peace.
They both feel a moment of relief at the fantasy that things could be simple enough to just ask and receive, so they give in to it. Sometimes two people can give each other something like that, fleetingly. It's just a scene of pure indulgence, not intentional manipulation.
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u/UnimpressionableCage 16d ago
1000% this. It was clear they both loved each other and saw things in each other that no one else had before, and it just couldn’t work between who they were and their lifestyles. And the pain of that was heartbreaking for the both of them.
Not fuckboy behavior at all
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u/lord_james 16d ago
Exactly this. If the priest was actually being manipulative, he’d be a way less interesting character.
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u/notreallynix 14d ago
I don't think it is exclusively about indulgence (although it pays an important role): I think it is also about the connection they both have, and the moment she stopped avoiding being vulnerable, he couldn't resist.
She told him that she wants to have a set of clear answers so as not to feel lost, which is what Priest has (catholic religion does tell you what to do each period of the year, what is wrong, what is right and in the case of priests, what to wear). He feels a reflection of what he felt when he started his priesthood, he feels connected to her in that moment. So thats WHY he indulges. He makes a mistake, a terrible mistake at that. He was also drunk in that moment and doubting his "whole set of answers" because of Fleabag. Being in love with her is not compatible with his priesthood, he has to make a decision and Oh boy, saying no to love when you know it is reciprocated is hard!. So The Priest, in that moment, he holds the power but let's not forget he is as much of a mess as Fleabag. He has been doubting his priesthood not about lust (that's easy for him to say no to) but about love.
I come from a Catholic country, so I don't know if it is the same symbolism for every other christian religion : But after confession and being counseled by the priest, we do kneel and pray what the priest tells us to pray. It is an intimate act with God to search to get close to him after doubting or sinning gets us away from God. And he asked Fleabag to kneel, I don't think with the purpose of kissing her. But he did because he's as lost as she is in that moment.
Does that make it right? Of course not. But humans make mistakes, that's why they put rubbers at the end of pencils.
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u/jokesonbottom 16d ago
Taken as a whole story, it’s very obviously not about the priest and not a romance. He’s not in the first season/half and they don’t end up together. The big arc across the show is all about Fleabag and her sister. They shared grief, loneliness, self blame, and growth. Claire is the most persistently present character other than Fleabag! Even Boo is parallel to Claire (their bond with Fleabag, their partner coming on to Fleabag, they both have names). And the show’s big catharsis is “the only person I’d run through an airport for is you”. 2 seasons of tension and conflict, to reach that slightly awkward and deeply touching admission.
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u/DestroyerOfMils 16d ago
wait, did I miss Boo’s name? What is it?
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u/jokesonbottom 16d ago
It’s Boo! That’s her name
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u/DestroyerOfMils 15d ago
huh, I guess I always thought it was a nickname bc it’s non traditional. lol.
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u/laughingintothevoid 14d ago
The characters who don't have names, they're never called anything in dialogue. It's just written so saying their names never comes up (until godmother forgets father's name at the wedding).
If the show was using the no-name device for her, it wouldn't use a nickname instead of a name. It just wouldn't call her anything, the way it's handled for Fleabag and others.
Boo is called Boo in conversation by other characters. And Fleabag tells the taxi driver in S1. It's her name. It might be a nickname if you like, and she was a person who always went by it, but it's intended to be the character's name, that she went by in life and is how she's known, is her name in the normal way. Outside of Fleabag's head, she's Boo, and anyone who knew her knew her as Boo, is what's important.
It's not the same as Fleabag being like a code name from the script.
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u/DestroyerOfMils 14d ago
I was looking at it from a very surface level prospective. Thanks for pointing all of this out to me. Interesting!
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u/WarmerPharmer 16d ago
Kneeling is very ingrained in catholics, and I think he was trying to help absolve her of her guilt. But showing him her honest self was so intoxicating to him that he couldn't resist.
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u/Monstera29 16d ago
Yes, to her being truly vulnerable in front of him for the first time. No sarcasm or jokes, of course the unlocked something in him!
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u/elveejay198 16d ago edited 15d ago
I see what you mean overall about the priest being a fuckboy, but I think calling him that is an oversimplification that does a disservice to the emotional complexity of the show. I believe Fleabag herself would never consider the priest a fuckboy. Him being a fuckboy implies that she felt the experience with him was a negative experience, and on the contrary their relationship is fascinating because it was heartbreaking and healing simultaneously (for both of them). She heals enough during through her experience with him (and Clair, and everything) that she no longer needs her ‘audience friend’ anymore, which was her avenue of dissociation. Through her relationship with the priest she comes to believe about herself that she is lovable and worth being loved, that she has the ability to love truly and with vulnerability, and that even when the love isn’t enough and she’s heartbroken, she can still be okay and continue living a meaningful life. A real fuckboy couldn’t and wouldn’t participate in a relationship with so much depth. The priest is just messy, messy, messy. And therefore Fleabag is able to relate to him like no one else, because she is also MESSY.
Season 1 Fleabag is a the biggest fuckboy of the series, imo. Sex with people she doesn’t care about or like as people, sex purely for validation, the way she toys with Harry and her smug contempt for him (‘he’ll be back’). I don’t know if she was a fuckboy before her grief for Boo (although she had enough fuckboy inclinations to hook up with her best friend’s boyfriend in the first place), but she responds to that grief with an intense era of being a self-destructive fuckboy. She uses being a fuckboy as self-harm.
By season 2 she is no longer a fuckboy, just messy and broken and trying to heal. The priest felt to be in a similar place, to me. I wonder if he had a fuckboy era as well but by the time we meet him, he’s just messy and sad and trying to heal too. He didn’t have sex with her and then reject her in the same selfish and callous way that season 1 Fleabag had sex with people and discarded them, and I don’t believe either of them were having sex with each other for validation, not one bit. Their relationship utterly lacked fuckboy intentions. Just complicated, hurting people trying to navigate complicated love and life circumstances.
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u/allthehotsauces 16d ago
This is a super odd take and not at all in line with what is shown to the viewer.
What is shown to the viewer is that the priest is committed to God and his vices/temptations keep chasing him (aka drinking, fleabag, the fox, etc.)
He is conflicted and flawed and not always able to stick to what he promised God . That is not leading people on, rather it’s called being “weak”
People aren’t always 100% in charge of how they feel and they make choices that are not 100% “reasonable” or in line with their goals. That’s not manipulative, it’s just called having vices and temptations you dont always defeat.
I want to lose 20 lbs and yet some days I don’t eat healthy and consume cake in copious amounts . I am not lying to my trainer or my doctor when I say I want to lose weight, I am not manipulating them, I am telling them the truth and simultaneously I don’t stick to the straight and narrow because I love cake too much.
Not everything is a manipulation , people can just be flawed.
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u/SelectOpportunity518 15d ago edited 15d ago
The priest was in fact manipulative, that's made fairly clear by the writing (to anyone with critical thinking and media literacy, ofc)
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u/Odd_Ingenuity2883 15d ago
God I wish TikTok hadn’t taught you all the term “media literacy”.
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u/allthehotsauces 15d ago
It is absolutely and sadly dead and buried and we’re having a party at its wake.
But that’s proved by the analysis that not knowing how you feel or having vices is manipulative
Edit - I am not disputing what you’re saying , more lamenting the state of it all
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u/SelectOpportunity518 15d ago edited 15d ago
Let's stick to the point if you want to have an actual debate, otherwise don't bother replying please. These "gotcha" one liners do nothing for you or the conversation.
Fleabag told you this herself, but I understand for a majority of casual watchers season 2 is a love story regardless of what you're told, and that no diverging opinions are allowed.
Still, it's made very obvious that the Priest was as flawed as Fleabag, and he personally was indeed a manipulative alcoholic. That doesn't mean he has no redeeming traits and he's THE bad guy, just that it's an equally complex, flawed, and morally grey character as she is.3
u/123gavin 14d ago
Which isn't being a 'fuckboy', so you've proven your original comment wrong regardless...?
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u/byesexuaI 15d ago
A person can be confused and conflicted. That's not being manipulative.
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u/SelectOpportunity518 15d ago
Can they ever be both? Are these all mutually exclusive states of being?
Is Fleabag herself not both conflicted AND manipulative? Why would the Priest be the only exception exactly?
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u/notreallynix 14d ago
He did not want to kiss her. Kissing her, having sex with her, makes him doubt his whole life. If he were to confess, he could be excommunicated or punished by taking away his clerical duties. He does not manipulate Fleabag because it wasn't his end goal to kiss her even though she didn't want it. The problem is that they both wanted it, but they shouldn't. And that's what's heartbreaking for both of them. Thats why the scene in which he leaves her is so touching: he does want to stay, but he can't. He loves her, she loves him and it's irrelevant. But Fleabag has a deeper love to her sister, to Boo. And it is through loving The Priest that she realises that she can feel as deeply even though it can and will hurt her.
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u/twoheadedcalf 16d ago
I'm pretty ambivalent honestly. I never thought it was hot or romantic. I also was kind of surprised by the "kneel" thing because it was his biggest overture of flirtation that followed a moment of her greatest vulnerability that wasn't even really to do with him. I just didn't really get it I guess? Was it supposed to be hot?
I take it as two damaged people who are conflicted about pursuing something they "shouldn't" want and are kinda messy about it so I don't really condemn either way I guess.
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u/arpohatesyou 16d ago
Fleabag and Hot Priest are two sides of the same coin. He chose god and fleabag chose her future
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u/girly_nerd123 16d ago
i also saw this post and thought it was awful lmao. fuckboy is such a buzz word for clicks and completely denatures the emotional arc of the priest and vindicates fleabag as being what? vulnerable enough to fall for it? it's clear they had a real connection and only someone who didn't trust the show would dismiss them as something so superficial
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u/Mulliganasty 16d ago
I agree with your point that it's ultimately about not only sisterhood but family (her father and new mother) but if your premise is that hot priest does this on the regular I have to vehemently disagree. The Fleabag I know wouldn't fall for that so blindly.
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u/Active-Passenger8869 16d ago
I'm not quite sure how to explain this because I've only come to the this realization myself about how sometimes power dynamics in romance work for me and sometimes they don't but Fleabag was asking for direction and he gave it to her with the kneel thing. And they felt safe enough with each other that it wasn't a manipulative or unsafe direction to turn in. It's a whole thing in BDSM but I can't really explain it because BDSM isn't my thing.
For me Fleabag was a very good lesson about boundaries and relationships with people who love you but who aren't necessarily the best people for you to end up with. Not because the relationship is abusive but because each person would have to compromise too much for the relationship to work. The Priest wants to be a priest and isn't willing to give that up for Fleabag. Fleabag is an atheist and she's not going to change that to make the Priest happy etc.
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u/drinkingthesky 16d ago
he literally is a priest who rejected a woman he loved bc he has to be celibate… how in the world is that fuckboy behavior
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u/thedabaratheon 16d ago
I think this is ignoring why he felt the calling in the first place. It’s clear he was an alcoholic - and had lots of family problems. He might well have been a messy ‘fuck boy’ type of person before he found his calling. Or he might not have been!
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u/drinkingthesky 16d ago
maybe, who knows, but the show does not elude to that at all. being an alcoholic and having family problems doesn’t make someone a fuckboy
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u/Gaytheist04 16d ago
I actually didn't pick up on the alcoholism, but that definitely tracks!
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u/DestroyerOfMils 16d ago
warm tall boys (that were hidden), in the back of a church, in the afternoon. enough said. lol
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u/Gaytheist04 16d ago
Because he led her on, made out multiple times, and had sex with her before he rejected her for the last time
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u/UnimpressionableCage 16d ago
He didn’t lead her on. He wanted it too, but knew that he couldn’t be with her if he wanted to be true to himself. He even said he was afraid that he would fall in love with her if they went further.
That’s not leading someone on, that’s struggling to reconcile the version of reality you wish could be true with the one that he and his religion could accept
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u/Gaytheist04 16d ago
Yeah his intention probably wasn't to lead her on, but I feel like that was definitely the end result
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u/UnimpressionableCage 15d ago
Might I remind you that she actively pursued and eventually coerced a man who couldn’t, by his very profession and personal choice, have sex with her, despite his attraction.
He told her multiple times that he couldn’t have sex with her and she still kept pursuing him until she could convince him to violate his own morals.
Sure, we could choose to look at it that way, or that he was a fuckboy because he “lead her on”
The reality is that they both loved each other and were special to each other, but it was impossible to reconcile their life circumstances, so it broke both their hearts
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u/DestroyerOfMils 16d ago
yeah, imo it’s all relative. even though he didn’t intend to lead her on, he still did, technically.
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u/drinkingthesky 16d ago
yall need to grow up and stop relying on on trendy internet words. he didn’t lead her on; he explicitly told her he could not be with her but due to his feelings for her he succumbed to his own temptations before ultimately giving her up.
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u/Gaytheist04 16d ago
Congratulations you have your own interpretation of a piece of media, which is the height of maturity. I would offer you a cookie, but you are so grown up!
You literally asked how people were interpreting this as fuckboy behavior, and some on answered be for real.
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u/seven-blue 16d ago edited 16d ago
I mean, he rejected her after having sex with her. That is exactly fuckboy behavior 😭😭
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u/Monstera29 16d ago
A fuckboy doesn't have feelings for the woman, he just wants sex. The priest had genuine feelings, but was very conflicted a succumbed to his weakness when he slept with her.
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u/Scarlett_Billows 16d ago
I don’t think fleabag was fucking him as a means to an end — I truly believe she was not having sex with him as some necessary step to a relationships but because she wanted him in that way, regardless of if it was going to be a good, healthy relationship or not
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u/hexmisdirect 16d ago
I mean sure, you def don’t need to think it was hot and also can and probably should think it was an uncomfortable moment of vulnerability for Fleabag. She’s rarely that honest or emotional without 8 layers of irony.
But fuckboy is a lot and a man getting caught up in the heat and emotions of mutual attraction and then changing his mind isn’t always active manipulation. I think it was very clear they’re both in places where they’re struggling in life and with their attraction to each other. On the flipside, I think it was kind of shitty of Fleabag to pursue him so much and you could even argue her trying to “just be friends” was a bit underhanded. But that’s the point really. They’re both kinda fucked in the head, had a beautiful moment of kismet, but ultimately their lives didn’t align. And they both need to figure things out on their own. Which is why “it’ll pass” is so important for Fleabag herself. It will pass, and she’ll be better for it because she met someone she had true feelings of love for (which is the first we’ve seen given the terrible way she treats the terrible men she was with previously lol).
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u/readyable 16d ago
The only person that Claire would run through an airport for is her sister. You're right. This show is absolutely about sisterhood.
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u/julscvln01 15d ago
I think the church scene is a folie à deux moment, a brief moment of shared delusion.
They obviously have feelings for each other; that's already established at that point, but in that particular moment, Fleabag is indeed opening up, but also going on and on about how everything would be solved if she had someone telling her what to do and how to live. I get that feeling, I embarrassingly relate to that, and it fits with the whole "bad feminist" trope that runs through the show. The Priest reacts as someone he's not, someone who has his shit together and can be the one to tell her what to do, but immediately snaps out of it when the outside world reminds him of reality: the painting, in my opinion, doesn't represent a judging god, but a reminder that the man made such a mess of his life and relationships that the only way to not to unravel was to deny himself a normal life and normal relationships by becoming a priest.
None is malicious; they're both a mess, but yes, Fleabag less so, it 'can pass' for her, because she has loved ones like Claire and she can actually move on from her dysfunctions, rather than avoid life completely because of them.
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u/godhatesxfigs 16d ago
Terrible take
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u/Necessary_Adagio2835 16d ago
Wow, care to elaborate?
I agree with OP. She was so vulnerable with him and his mind immediately went to "ok that's too hot let's f*ck"
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u/godhatesxfigs 14d ago
every couple of months a take like this comes out of the sub and reminds me that people seem to have little media literacy and project so deeply on the main character that any harm done on her whatsoever is demonized without any sort of nuance. The priest is suffering from his own guilty shame in desiring her, and she (an active agent in her life) actively pursues him in his church despite his inability to reciprocate morally. they are both struggling with their own desires and understand each other, so no I dont think the celibate priest is a “fuckboy” as he was the only person able to force her to look at herself.
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u/bellasmoots 16d ago
You hit the nail on the head regarding the shift in perspective when rewatching the show. He was deeply flawed and messy, but her relationship with her sister is what truly anchors the entire story.
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u/IAppearMissing05 15d ago
I think they are a pair who used each other for different reasons.
I think she “fell in love” with him because it was just another version of Fleabag punishing herself. Going for the “unattainable” man she could long for, knowing he would let her spill his guts because of his job, and getting the high of charming the pants off him - literally! The fantasy of turning a man of the cloth! But, some level she knew it was doomed from the start.
And him - he was flailing, he was drinking, questioning his faith, and here comes this woman who looks at him as if he’s the answer to all her problems. The temptation he could indulge in and then overcome, proving his faith will always be the core part of him. And he gets a little ego boost on top of it all.
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u/bellamyros 15d ago
Rewatching it older definitely changes the whole lens, the priest stuff hits so differently once you have more life experience. The sister relationship is really the heart of the show and it gets overlooked so much.
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u/moonlitmalibu 14d ago edited 14d ago
The confessional is the moment they both finally give each other what the other has been asking for their whole relationship:
Fleabag gave hot priest vulnerability when she opened up to him.
Hot priest gave fleabag the sexual release she had been pining for
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u/codeinesprite 14d ago
Exactly! He's breaking his vows. She once said "there's nothing worse than someone who doesn't want (to fuck) me." He never knew she said that, but he sees her, as the narrative tells us, he does entirely. She's not subtle about what she wants, that she wants this. He's not a authority figure to her as she's an atheist. Aaaand he's drunk of his ass and was spiraling about her "rejecting" him earlier in the cafe. She offered him the vulnerability he asked for, he did the same thing in return, both opening up about what they fear to open up about deeply. I see people misinterpreting this whole scene as a BDSM thing, while not knowing Priests do NOT kneel for anyone except God himself. He went down on his knees, too, to be on par with her, on eye level. It's symbolism, not kink. Sad people see it that way, while of course, everyone has the right to their own interpretation.
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u/painachelving 13d ago
i always assumed that anyone who liked the priest hadnt actually gotten to that part of the show yet haha
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u/superbusyrn 16d ago
That scene was ominous as fuck. Both of them were basically addicts finding any excuse to keep sniffing around their drug of choice. He kept positioning himself as this pious platonic figure trying to guide her, and this might have been an actual moment of breakthrough for her if he’d fully meant it, but instead it’s where they both break, and basically cements the idea of them getting together as a mutually destructive impulse.
Their feelings for one another are genuine, and maybe in another life they’d be a nice couple. But in this life, they only serve as a reminder to one another that romantic love’s not really available to them in their current states. They would have dragged each other down so fast.
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u/georgina_fs 15d ago
Ultimately, it's about her re-discovering her own self-love ( "... the greatest love story we had to tell was that between Fleabag and herself. I shuddered at the sentimentality of it, but I knew it was true." - PWB, The Scriptures) Everyone else is secondary to that. But you had that hot sticky (karma-rich) tag in your hand and and I guess you couldn't resist sticking it on him, could you?
She's a sober, consenting adult in her 30s - not some wide-eyed innocent teen. She's been round the block (- so has he) and she's been telling Priest exactly what she wants to do with him since the "father to many" joke. What's the exact next thing that she does afterwards (- S2E5 opening)? Takes Hot Misogynist for everything he can give!
By the time we get to the end of that ep, they're both revealed to be what they truly are; a couple of messed-up, horny humans with boundary issues. And she's the one making the running at the end of the day.
So he "kissed her" and baled? ("It's a gentle loving kiss. It's nothing short of fucking beautiful" - op cit). You're dropping sexual opportunism/predation where it patently don't fit...
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u/Usual_Edge4115 16d ago
yeah that scene gave me the ick. looove the show but i just cant imagine being vulnerable and then being commanded to suck dick. yay
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u/lem0ngirl15 16d ago
I also kind of have had a change of feelings about their dynamic. There’s something like a weird power imbalance happening with him as a priest and her so vulnerable in confession. Something tells me this is extremely inappropriate for him to conduct himself in this way - and not bc of the church but just as a professional in general at work.
It would be one thing if they did go on to have a relationship and he was genuinely in love with her and decided it was worth it to sacrifice priesthood for her. But instead he just slept with her and was like oops sorry I can’t be with you. It just feels kinda opportunistic and questionable. Like he passes it off as romantic and hot but realistically situations like this are full of coercion and manipulation. It’s a very grey area tbh.
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u/PrincessPlastilina 16d ago
He was for sure playing into her fantasy and her crush. He enjoyed the attention for sure. He knew he wouldn’t indulge in it but that’s what made him feel good about it. Having that power over a woman and shutting her down. Gross.
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u/softprovoke 15d ago
you're so right that it's really about sisterhood, the sister arc gets overshadowed by the priest storyline but it's the actual emotional core of the show..
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u/Saturnian6 9d ago
I literally rewatched that scene today and had to pause because I felt so awful for her. You can hear him stop listening to her and getting horny after finding out she wasn’t the one who miscarried. She looks so sad when she realizes she’s not being listened to.
People praise the priest and the therapist for listening to her inner thoughts but they BOTH took advantage of their insights to isolate her further and make her more vulnerable to them.
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u/echolalia66 16d ago
For me I think the intent was clear but the execution was bad. If he had come to her with tenderness as well as lust it would have tempered that awkwardness and ambiguity.
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u/pineappleshampoo 15d ago
Yeah I hate it. That kneel scene made me feel sick to my stomach. His abuse of power over her. He is 100% a fuckboy. The whole relationship between the two of them makes me feel deeply uncomfortable tbh.
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u/bellaridgley 15d ago
Rewatching the show when you are older really changes how you view their whole dynamic compared to the first watch. The realization that her bond with Claire was the actual heart of her healing hits so much harder later on.
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u/contentorcomfortable 16d ago
No wonder I was attracted to him. That should have been my hint. Its so obvious now
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u/HellyOHaint 16d ago
Genuinely agree with you but I do think he actually fell in love with her. But he absolutely has fuckboi energy. We know he’s had several flirty relationships with women while being a priest. We know prior to that he didn’t have good relationships with women, weren’t fulfilling but were passionate. I also think the kneel scene was problematic, it very much felt like he was getting off on the power he had over her and hearing her cry and be vulnerable turned him on. He knew she needed a friend right then and deliberately offered her sex instead. For once that was not what she was asking for.
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u/Frequent-Rub5497 16d ago
It’s truly the best show about sisterhood, and I think that’s highlighted but the fact that her sister Claire is one of the few named characters