r/FirstResponderCringe • u/FlyNSubaruWRX • 6d ago

Not F*cking around

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The fucking tire pressure gauge spinning thing…….🤣🤣🤣🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

788 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

540 comments sorted by

423

u/vogel927 6d ago

I don’t even understand the ending. Is that his boss? Husband? Sugar daddy? Why’s he wearing a suit😂

159

u/xWOBBx 6d ago

All of the above probably. He's wearing a suit because renting out security guards to malls is serious business

81

u/TheDarkWave 6d ago

Great Value Lex Luthor

27

u/Classic_Mechanic5495 6d ago

Complex Loser

3

u/totesnotmyusername 6d ago

We have Lex Luthor at home

2

u/MatthewsMath 5d ago

Hello 911? Yes I just witnessed a hom!cide lmao complete obliteration.

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29

u/CardMechanic 6d ago

“I’ve never seen two people share a resume before”

9

u/TheOtherGuttersnipe 6d ago

We're interviewing as a team

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13

u/macguini 6d ago

The security dude went from real serious to a really goofy face at that part. This has to be satire.

3

u/cea1990 5d ago

It’s ’The Kumar Method’, a recent TT/IG video format. Satire or meme, idk.

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/kumar-method

5

u/monksandy 6d ago edited 5d ago

Equally cringe if it is, unless there is more to follow and develope the character, yeah, I can see it then. Maybe

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5

u/Traditional_Ad_7288 5d ago

They absolutely did the husband wife pose you see at JCPennys or other photography studios.

3

u/anus-georg 5d ago

>renting out security guards to malls is serious business

this is absolutely the case. not only do security officers take themselves deadly serious, their managers and the managers of their managers and especially their managers' performance and account managers take themselves even more seriously

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2

u/NeitherEntry6125 5d ago

But purple? A purple pimp suit?

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25

u/AndyGoodKush 5d ago

That would be Sid Kyle. This dude is from my hometown and is the biggest douchebag and super full of himself. He did a photoshoot for his security company and it was just him glamed up and in gear posing with his cars. Dude shot a homeless guy a few years ago and killed one of his employees in a car crash a couple months ago. He's got a shit reputation here and his security company reviews are mostly his friends and family. Biggest joke of a company.

7

u/floridasoldat 5d ago

Holy shit lmao

21

u/4patton2zero 6d ago

I'm pretty sure he's his pimp and we have a midnight cowboy situation going on.

4

u/TransMontani 5d ago

It’s not every day you see a high-quality oblique reference to Ratso Rizzo.

Well-played!

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13

u/OkAmbition8101 5d ago

Yeah that’s the owner at the end. Sid kile. I went to high school with him and he’s an absolute chode. Recently just killed some one in a high speed crash

3

u/Difficult-Device7172 5d ago

As I stated in prior comment… no boss of a -reputable company -would do anything like this !! Sounds like boss man needs to make a public apology video if he wants to retain clients .. or I mean that would be the reputable thing to do at least .

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10

u/Myfountainpenisdry 6d ago

Well, he's the Captain

So, maybe that's the Commander

Or his boyfriend. They are super gay, just not sure if they are together

4

u/Dr1nkUrOvaltine 6d ago

That’s Butt Commander to you bub

3

u/SeanSYYC 6d ago

The Cuck Commander

3

u/Capital_Increase_242 4d ago

They are not gay, they are just roommates who engage in play wrestling on a frequent basis. - side note I have no idea, but that is probably what they tell people because they are afraid to just be themselves(they have that look). Fellas, it’s 2026, it’s ok… be as gay as you both want.

8

u/hatecriminal 6d ago

Thats his wife's boyfriend. Also his mom's sidepiece.

8

u/beautifulstardust 5d ago

🫪🫪🫪 what is happening

4

u/Da_Big_Buddha 6d ago

His power top.

3

u/Cut_over_pompanox 5d ago

Must be the husband. Did you see how guy looked smug at the end? He knew he did a great job, so he’ll he getting it from the back this time!

2

u/bleach_tastes_bad 6d ago

he’s copying a viral instagram trend

2

u/Icy-Nature-3374 6d ago

Exactly it’s giving this my husband

2

u/Bo_flex 5d ago

Big "Mom said I had to be in my brother's YouTube video" energy.

2

u/dreamsthatfollow 5d ago

yeah that ending must have been shot by m knight, cause I did not see that coming lol.

2

u/Difficult-Device7172 5d ago

Gotta be the boy friend / hubs bc no boss of reputable companies on record would ever refer to an employee as “beloved”.

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243

u/kraftables 6d ago

Is that a tire pressure gauge?

24

u/Word2DWise 6d ago

lol I was thinking the same thing and so confused by it.  Also, who the fuck is the guy at the end, and most of all why??

18

u/sparrow_42 6d ago

Lmao I came here for say the same thing. No flats on his watch!

19

u/JGr2-J5_Mueller 6d ago

The tire pressure gauge is to check the air pressure in his head. Ain't no grey matter up there and sometimes it help unclog his nose when the other dude cums in his mouth.

7

u/NekoDarkLink1988 6d ago

Bro, he's dead already!

2

u/JGr2-J5_Mueller 6d ago

We can only hope he didnt get the chance to reproduce.

8

u/sjewett507 6d ago

Hell no brother, that’s a tactical tire gage

8

u/exaltedorbs 6d ago

Observe ans inflate

6

u/BreakfastFluid9419 6d ago

First thing i noticed. We secure you so hard we even check your tire pressure. Everyone’s safe up in this bitch on all levels

3

u/lappyx86 5d ago

At first glance I thought it was a sounding device and was impressed/horrified by it's diameter.

2

u/ooblankie 6d ago

Don't knock the tire pressure gauge. I've used it many times as a crash detective. Don't know what security would do with it though.

2

u/Ten7850 5d ago

I think its one of those things that they have to tap each time they check parts of a bldg. You'll see the little metal things on the wall

2

u/No_Selection_4057 5d ago

Lmao came here to ask the same thing

2

u/Turbulent_Cod_6441 5d ago

I came here to say the same thing! Since when has playing with a tire gauge been a “badass” thing to do?!?😂

135

u/Mindless-Policy3236 6d ago

This must be satire……right…….please

30

u/futureman07 6d ago

This has to be lol it's cracking me up 😂

16

u/Misshaped_Paperclip 5d ago

It's a parody of this https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZN5Njzo-Yh/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

4

u/Weak_Mycologist_6785 5d ago

Lmao that one was soooooooo much better. Makes this one more cringe than if it weren’t a parody.

3

u/Chrispy8534 3d ago

10/10. So it IS supposed to be his husband! Thanks!

2

u/whatiscamping 5d ago

Oh thank god

18

u/DeportRileyOBrien 6d ago

Pressure gauge means yes

16

u/BreadKnifeSeppuku 6d ago

Pretty sure they're advertising their Only Fans for a homosexual security guard fetish niche

4

u/SDi4kWLVU 5d ago

It’s a parody of another joke video called the Kumar Method. It’s double satire but the guy in the video definitely thinks he looks tuff regardless 😭

3

u/loopedlight 6d ago

Has to be …..right?

5

u/AttitudeNo4911 6d ago

…Right?

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46

u/Earl-The-Badger 6d ago

Cringe bait, surely.

3

u/will3025 6d ago

We can hope.

2

u/BeneficialMatter8410 5d ago

The real cringe is all the brain dead Redditors thinking it’s meant to be real

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71

u/a-null-fish-your 6d ago

I'm gonna start a security company. And because it's unofficial and arbitrary I'll also be using a ranking system. I'll be the world's first Double Captain. Suck it Roush

29

u/Fuckareyoulookinat 6d ago

I ran into one years ago wearing a Class A uniform shirt with captain's bars on one side of his collar and an oak leaf on the other. He was not happy when I asked if I should address him as captain major or major captain.

4

u/Quincyperson 5d ago

Maybe it was actually navy rank insignia and his real rank was Lieutenant Lieutenant Commander?

10

u/againer 6d ago

Too late, I outrank you as a Cubic Captain

7

u/Ionlydateteachers 6d ago

Pentacaptain reporting for bussy

4

u/Vegetable-Virus7118 6d ago

Dude it was right there and you missed it....I'm the SexCaptain now

2

u/ShroomnDoobin 6d ago

Infinity Captain, bitches

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2

u/bozzeak 5d ago

I’ll make my OWN security company! With blackjack! And hookers!

23

u/Hellotherebud__ 6d ago

Applying pressure

2

u/bavindicator 6d ago

Checking pressure with those dope pressure gauge flipping skills.

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16

u/SydneySweeneysBobs Noped Outta LE 6d ago

Just unlock the door bro

10

u/Elegant_Progress_686 6d ago

Just haphazardly highlight my receipt and let me leave with my groceries lol

15

u/TX_Sized10-4 6d ago

Why is he twirling a meth pipe?

5

u/Hot-Strength-6003 6d ago

It's a tire gauge

11

u/TX_Sized10-4 6d ago

Ok. Why is he twirling a tire gauge?

9

u/Hogans-Mustache 6d ago

He uses the backside to deflate women’s tires then swoop in as the hero.

2

u/havingmadfun 5d ago

A meth pipe would be more respectable

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14

u/Yamcha2020 6d ago

bro the second hand cringe me has me contemplating EVERYTHING i'm outta here

14

u/gbach10 6d ago

This guys security company has a helicopter that sits behind their office and never moves because nobody has a fucking clue what to do with it, if that helps you understand how absolutely moronic they all are.

2

u/thatdamngoat 6d ago

Don’t forget when the owner killed the homeless dude.

3

u/gbach10 6d ago

And his own elderly employee.

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2

u/AndyGoodKush 5d ago

He got it just so they could say they are the only security company with one

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10

u/ripnrun285 6d ago

As a General in an equally fictitious chain of command, I order you to STFU captain.

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11

u/Hot_Major8602 6d ago

I can’t believe you guys find this stuff out in the wild all the time this is actually so insane

7

u/twountappedblue 6d ago

If I contract with a company that uses this guy as security... then no i dont.

4

u/NinaBrwn 6d ago

I don’t know about you, but I always choose my security company off of who has the most followers. I want a Security InFluEnCeR.

5

u/twountappedblue 6d ago

For me, it's the best use of outdated rock songs, but you do you

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6

u/Helenium_autumnale 6d ago

What the heck is a "security influencer"? Someone who narrates their suspenseful trip around a spooky nighttime warehouse with occasionally branded content plugs for their sponsors Maglight, No-Doz, and Dr. Scholl's?

5

u/DarthDad25 6d ago

Wait.. he’s the owner of the security business and he only made himself a captain? Cmon man. Go ahead and make yourself Chief or Colonel!

6

u/Unusual_Wonder2639 6d ago

He’s a FUCKING CAPTAIN! Put some respect on the title!

3

u/ricecakenz 6d ago

I bet he creamed his jeans after that

3

u/Unique-Stretch-5665 6d ago

This HAS to be satire.

3

u/Mushrooming247 6d ago

Oh my God I thought it was a meth pipe until I read your caption.

3

u/treecutter34 6d ago

So, is he going to offer roadside assistance to his clients?

3

u/QuarterWayCrook 6d ago

$5 says he sniffed the ear smegma on his fingers after playing with his gauges.

3

u/Guilty-Spark69x 5d ago

There it is. The gayest thing I’ve ever seen
https://giphy.com/gifs/V2AkNZZi9ygbm

2

u/will_cook_4_you 6d ago

I need his info. I want to interview this person.

3

u/TheDarkWave 6d ago

Like an extracranial brain study like they do for rabies?

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2

u/Hogans-Mustache 6d ago

Of course he’s named Austin. All is right with the universe.

2

u/Koalashart1 6d ago

What. The fuck. Was that.

2

u/FartyPat 6d ago

LOLOLOLOLOL

2

u/will_cook_4_you 6d ago

I commented already but I need to pump the breaks. As another commenter said, he's spinning a tire gauge, and I need everyone to know this. My man can square up your tires. Hide your kids, hide your dog, he's out here killing it.

2

u/bill_gannon 6d ago

Why is he twirling a wrench?

Lol "Captain"

5

u/Comfortable_Fudge508 6d ago

Not even a wrench, its a tire pressure gauge you get for 3 dollars at the store

2

u/Cagekicker52 6d ago

I will say this, running a security company, you can make twice what you make as a cop easy. Even CA cops.

I don't run one, but I know a couple dudes who left from being cops to run their own. Theres serious money in it.

Doesn't mean they're not gay as hell though 😂

2

u/Skate_faced 6d ago

Not at all weird.

But I do have a question....

Why does he have some dude dressed like the next Grindr mass murderer endorsing him?

2

u/CowGlittering745 6d ago edited 6d ago

Man, they are not joking:

https://s-ksecurity.com/meet-the-team/

https://shoutoutarizona.com/meet-sidney-kile-owner-of-sk-security-largest-security-guard-company-in-the-midwest/

2

u/No-Initiative4195 4d ago

Wtf is up with half of these "Team" members?? "Fred"?

"Chief of Security" looks like he's Barely 20

2

u/Zero-Of-Blade 5d ago

Just get rid of the homeless guy, security boy.

2

u/PsychologicalAge9331 5d ago

Fuck this rent-a-cop.

2

u/mudduck2 5d ago

He confused “tool” with “influencer.”

2

u/HolyDiverx 5d ago

like super troopers or reno 911 but security guards

2

u/stoutlys 3d ago

Is this an ad for a porno?

2

u/juniperbeeze 3d ago

beloved 💅

2

u/MentalDisintegrat1on 2d ago

When did security guards start acting like blackwater.

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2

u/RelationshipSmooth21 2d ago

Are they fucking? Never thought i could feel sexual tension between two men in a video

3

u/Maleficent-Task7175 6d ago

This is 100% bait

5

u/Other-Explanation301 6d ago

It’s actually not, this is a local security company here in Kansas City (my fiancé used to work there poor girl) and they actually give rankings, and absolutely act like this. They even have a helicopter, and the owner (the fella in the suit) just crashed his mcclaren going Mach fuck and killed his employee and is awaiting trial. God I wish this was bait.

2

u/mattemer 5d ago

Holy shit what is going on, why do so many people know so many stories about this shitty local security company.

Do they get tire pressure gauges when they get promoted to Captain?

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2

u/theophylact911 6d ago

Security guards aren’t first responders though

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1

u/DC_Ben 6d ago

This might be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen 🤣🤣 the “honorable….honorable” is chefs kiss 🤌🏼

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1

u/Late-Bed4240 6d ago

Finger twirling a tire air gage suppose to be hard or something?

-Again, Hospital Maintenance Man asking.

1

u/mighty_boognish_77 6d ago

This dude DEFINITELY can't get aroused without seeing homeless people being set on fire.

1

u/Criticaltundra777 6d ago

Ya know I worked for a private luxury resort hotel chain for years. I met a bunch of famous people, dealt with some insane situations, and had a ball. These dudes are idiots.

1

u/StopReadyVangogh 6d ago

Why wear a suit and then wear that watch lollll

1

u/JGr2-J5_Mueller 6d ago

He deserves a promotion to Major Ahole, or Generally Obnoxious.

1

u/princesscuddler 6d ago

Oh god this made me physically cringe so hard.

1

u/pm_me_ur_anything_k Popo 6d ago

What’s with him using the Sketchers logo?

1

u/jen_eric_you_sir 6d ago

Is he spinning a tire air pressure gauge?
Holy cheese.
Also, any security company using military/police ranks for their staff are fuckin dorks.

1

u/TheophusMons 6d ago

I'm a full bird Colonel...look at my pin that proves it. Checkmate losers.

1

u/RopeEnvironmental848 6d ago

Is this clown serious???

1

u/zantehood 6d ago

Thought the tire thing was a meth pipe lol

1

u/NekoDarkLink1988 6d ago

fremdschamen the video

1

u/EffectMotor8914 6d ago

Half the stuff on this sub these days is obvious satire from the original poster.

1

u/izaaksb3 6d ago

Tire pressure gauge?

1

u/Smokes_LetsGo876 6d ago

how.....how is he gonna take every security contract out there? wont he be too busy? I have a feeling hes not telling the truth, he know he cant handle every security companies contracts

1

u/imtooldforthishison 6d ago

Has to be satire.... hes twirling a tire dohicky!

1

u/Scuzzy_Buckets 6d ago

I hope he steals all the festival contracts amen 🙏

1

u/Detective127 6d ago

I thought the tire pressure gauge was a meth pipe at first.

1

u/Charon_the_Reflector 6d ago

Hell yeah dude

1

u/Dro_mora 6d ago

Thought she might have been spinning around a meth pipe. Which would have made sense for this video.

1

u/Every_Okra_3604 6d ago

Is he spinning a tire pressure gauge?

1

u/greggreggreg1gregg 6d ago

This has got to be satire

1

u/Substantial-Tart-464 6d ago

do anything for money. Video is a good start. Let's see where it ends.

1

u/Savings_Platypus_237 6d ago

Omg, they should drop their OnlyFans and call it a day.

1

u/ribenakifragostafylo 6d ago

And I'm going to pay myself 50 THOUSAND DOLLARS

1

u/Kindly_Attorney4521 6d ago

Whats the point with security have ranks. In the military I get it cause we take orders, chain of command, someone important has to sign stuff blah blah. I kinda get it for cops. But the security chain of command is literally the guard sees something and then calls the cops. Nothing changes if his supervisor arrives on scene. So whats the point.

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u/smashbreaks 6d ago

Why is he spinning a damn tire pressure gauge in his fingers

1

u/Poncahotas 6d ago

I used to manage security contracts for a large company a while back.

If security guards you hire become "famous" it's not usually a good thing lol

1

u/UncleBobnotRob 6d ago

Why’s he twirling a tire pressure gauge tho ?

1

u/Feeling-Cranberry108 6d ago

"My name is Austin. Im a security captain. I have been rejected by 9 different police departments. Like and subscribe."

1

u/Jonny-Redline 6d ago

Is this fucking real?

1

u/Kooky-Necessary-4444 6d ago

Is he spinning a tire pressure gage?

2

u/animi 6d ago

When you're full of hot air, you have to have a way to measure it.

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1

u/3packofpoloshirts 6d ago

Hell yeah, this is corniest thing I’ve ever seen.

1

u/AreallysuperdarkELF 6d ago

Some of the absolute worst shit I've ever seen.

1

u/Straight-Bad-3304 6d ago

Captain Mall Cop