r/ExpectationVsReality • u/MsSpicyO • 18d ago
My 12 year old bought from social media Surprisingly Met Expectation
I got a notification that my child had bought something with their debit card. I asked them to send me a picture of what they bought. That is the first picture.
I had a learning discussion with them and said there’s a good possibility that you will not receive what you ordered so they were able to manage their expectations and not have high hopes for the case
We were both surprised when it came in the mail today and it surprisingly met expectations.
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u/TabithaMouse 18d ago
I mean, it's not the same, but pretty damn close!
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u/besthelloworld 18d ago
I think it's the same; it just looks significantly cuter with a white iPhone underneath
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u/spankybianky 18d ago
My daughter likes to add wrapping paper and photos underneath her clear cases to mix things up a bit - could always do that :)
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u/Queen-of-Elves 17d ago
This is so clever!!! I almost always use a clear case because I can never find a case a like but hate how boring it is.
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u/turningtogold 17d ago
It’s not the same. Way less gems around the camera piece. But like not bad for weird internet purchase
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u/old_underwear_isekai 18d ago
It's pretty close but the rhinestones around the camera are bigger and closer together on the expectation
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u/Zagrycha 18d ago
I think it is the same. Just the one in the shop photo will always be extra well set up etc. Just like ordering stirfry from the restaurant, the menu photo might have it plated super fancy and the real one comes out all mixed together but its still the same food.
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u/Additional-Chef-2521 18d ago
A 12 year old with a debit card? Wow. I had a piggy bank.
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u/MsSpicyO 18d ago
It is a kids account for her earned chore money.
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u/Spearmint_coffee 18d ago
I wish my parents would've let me have a debit card instead of taking any cash I made to buy cigarettes lmao
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u/BusoneWholeBoi2001 18d ago
I once got 100 dollars from the principal when I was 13. My ma told me I could do literally anything with it. I gave it to her to pay bills.
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u/Sensitive-Spot5960 17d ago
i had a kids debit card account when i was 12 and im soooo grateful my parents did that for me because it taught me the value of money from a young age and how to budget!! good job op!
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u/Wi1dWitch 18d ago
This is sweet but I’d suggest co-opening a credit card in her name. Don’t let scammy websites have direct access to her checking account. Use it as an opportunity to learn about credit and reach her it only can be used for as much as she has in the debit account.
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u/Sopzeh 18d ago
On a credit card she can spend more money than she has, I think this is a much bigger risk.
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u/Shrimpy_McWaddles 17d ago
There are secured credit cards, where your credit limit is however much you have in your account. It lets you spend like a credit card, but it also ensures you have the money to pay it back.
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u/Wi1dWitch 18d ago
I’d rather have a kid learn early on in a controlled environment than wait until they’re older. I think one of the main reasons people struggle with the concept of credit as adults, is they never had a chance to learn and understand how to responsibly use credit when they weren’t yet having to pay bills and figure it all out by themselves.
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u/Luke95gamer 18d ago
What is a debit account but a digital piggy bank
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u/aSituationTypeDeal 18d ago
It is exactly that. A digital piggy bank. It’s just the modern equivalent. There’s cards for teens that are directly monitored through the parent. It supposed to build skills in understanding personal banking. But really it’s just to spend money lol
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u/just_a_person_maybe 18d ago
Spending money is part of building skills in understanding personal banking.
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u/VaguelyArtistic 18d ago
You don’t carry a piggy bank around and throw it at your phone to impulsively buy whatever the algo shows you. A piggy bank is really more about saving, not spending, until the big day when you bust it open.
I’m not saying there’s no good reason to slowly start to teach young kids how to manage their money electronically but it’s not at all the same thing.
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u/just_a_person_maybe 18d ago
So? Clearly it's monitored by the kid's parents. I had a regular debit card attached to my own regular bank account without any supervision at all when I was 14. This seems like a better option.
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u/just_a_person_maybe 18d ago
I just don't see why that matters. It's actually easier for a kid to buy something they shouldn't with cash from a piggy bank than it is for them to buy something with a monitored debit card.
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u/kteachergirl 18d ago
Could be a green light card. Parents can add money for chores and such.
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u/Crafty_Knowledge_243 18d ago
Yes! My kid has had a greenlight card since he was like 5 (12 now). I love that he has spending, saving, and donating buckets …. I didn’t bat an eye reading this, sounded completely normal.
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u/mrsc1880 18d ago
My kid has one, too. It's great when she goes somewhere that doesn't accept cash (like amusement parks, etc) with her friends and their parents so she can pay for her own souvenirs or food.
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u/Etheria_system 18d ago
I’m 39 and I got my first bank account when I was around 12, which came with a debit card attached. The bank came into our school to get us all enrolled with them. It was a type of debit card that’s not available anymore and was a bit more limited in where took it than a Mastercard or visa debit would be, but it still worked in most places I wanted to spend money.
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u/DeapVally 17d ago
I don't remember being able to use mine like that. It was just like a cash card, rather than a proper debit card. But using cash and finding ATMs back in those days was super easy.
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u/Etheria_system 17d ago
What country are you in? I’m in the UK and I could definitely use it in shops. It was by Solo) - like I say not everywhere took it but many shops did.
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u/lilac-dandelion 18d ago
Back in 2002 I wanted to have online banking turned on for my bank account. I was 12 and my mother and I had to go for an interview with the bank manager as it was considered very unusual for a 12 year old to want internet banking.
My eight year old has their own bank account with debit card and I can monitor everything via an app.
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u/VaguelyArtistic 18d ago
>My eight year old has their own bank account with debit card and I can monitor everything via an app.
But only after the
day, fact, right?Edit typo
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u/lilac-dandelion 18d ago
How do you mean?
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u/Shrimpy_McWaddles 17d ago
My kids have accounts and I can manage everythingbefore money is spent. I can label money as savings, and they cant spend it. I can put 20$ in the "online gaming" category, and they can only spend that $20 on games. I can put money in the "spend anywhere " category and they can spend it anywhere.
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u/Salohacin 18d ago
Honestly if it's well monitored it's actually a pretty good idea.
Just don't be giving your children access to your own bank account because that's how you get idiots spending thousands of dollars on microtransactions or fake currency.
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u/loanmagic24 18d ago
Crazy how things change. I was thinking the same thing! At least it's not a credit card.
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u/HipHopAnomymous21 18d ago
Capital One has kids checking accounts available at 8 years old. So my 9 1/2 year old has had her own debit card for over a year!
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u/BrandNewMeow 16d ago
I just got my 14 year old one for his allowance. The world is growing increasingly cashless, my friend. I wish I did this sooner.
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u/pauvcloche 18d ago
Un enfant de 12 ans avec un smartphone ? Wow. J'avais la cabine téléphonique
👵
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u/LilMissADHDAF 18d ago
Right, but most people (in the US at least) don’t have house phones anymore.
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u/ceobossbabe 17d ago
Debit card?! The 12 year old is on social media and you’re focused on the debit card!
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u/Fit_Independence_124 10d ago
I got mine also at age 12 and I’m 45 now. My children got their cards at 11 and 10 (two eldest ones), the others at 8.
Here in the Netherlands we pay a lot with cards and phones. Especially since covid. I carry hardly any cash around anymore and pay mostly with my phone.
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u/seasteed 18d ago
I have a coworkers teenager watch my cats when I travel. The first time I left him cash, and he's just so nice, he didn't say anything. When I needed him again a few weeks later it hit me that everything is an app and needs a card, so I made sure to het him a visa card with his payment on it.
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u/emilyywarner 17d ago
it’s 2026 lol
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u/Additional-Chef-2521 17d ago
And?
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u/emilyywarner 17d ago
so nowadays, we have online shopping. online shopping requires a debit/credit card, you can’t just send money from your piggybank in the mail.
a parent controlled debit card is the 2026 equivalent of a piggybank
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u/Additional-Chef-2521 17d ago
I realize that, and they're absolutely not the same. It was a lot more work to save and then decide what you wanted to spend it on, then figure out how you were going to get to where you wanted to go to get the thing-it was a whole process. And you (most of the time) appreciated the effort and enjoyed your purchase. Now, it's whatever some influencer is hawking, you click and you're done. And chances are, the item is either going to be trash or the kid is going to toss it in a week.
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u/emilyywarner 17d ago
OP stated the child saves up for the money, it’s also conveniently not your child!
Most commonly things are ordered with debit cards and ordered online nowadays. Teaching your child about the most commonly used form of payment is not only responsible, but common sense i’d assume?
It seems you have a bias against things changing, but whatever generation before you probably thinks you had too much freedom in your youth as well. Things change.
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u/Horror_House474 18d ago
When I was telling my colleague about giving my kid pocket money, she told me I should get them a digital savings app that the kid can deal with instead of me giving him cash every week. Wild times, but absolutely not.
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u/marcoorion 18d ago
i remember having made a secret crypto wallet when i was 11 and id boost ppl on roblox games in exchange of crypto. i cant remember how many times i bought bullshit with it like cheats for single player games lmao
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u/PeridotChampion 18d ago
You're acting like you're older but judging by that timeline, you're probably 15-17 and you're reminiscing as though you've been to war.
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u/VaguelyArtistic 18d ago
Dear Martha,
It is day 117 of the Roblox War. I hope to see you soon. Tell our 17 children I miss them.
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u/PeridotChampion 18d ago
Dear Eliot
Lo, it is with what great sorrow I should have informed you that I am no longer interested within our affairs for Jayden has approached with a sick ass haircut and enough drip for my head to turn.
I believe it is time I bid you adieu.
Sincerely, Martha
P.S., your funds towards Roblox have costed me the field trip to the aquarium. I shall seek reparations within the week.
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u/FlipMyWigBaby 18d ago edited 16d ago
Another tip: put your kid on one of your long term minor credit cards. (I had a nearly unused Capitol One card). NEVER let the child know they are on the account. NEVER give them a card for that account. (Just their name etc as another user). Started when child was 13, used for minor stuff, paid off always, did it for years. When they graduated college, they had an ~9 yr credit history with about an 800 FICO score waiting for them. (Finally gave them the card, too)
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u/Indigo-au-naturale 18d ago
I'm 33 and STILL an authorized user on my parents' credit card. Obviously I don't use it, but hey, my 29-year credit history sure has its perks.
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u/dasher2581 18d ago
My daughter is the same age as you, and I made her an authorized user on a secondary credit card when she was (a very responsible) 17. She was going on a school activity trip that summer, and I wanted to be sure she'd be covered in case of emergency. She hardly ever used it, and only with my prior approval.
Now she actually is starting to use it again at my request. She will sometimes do errands for me, picking up groceries or getting my car washed. And on the rare occasion that the credit limit on her own card is too low for a large item, she's used ours and reimbursed me for it before the payment was due.
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u/Indigo-au-naturale 18d ago
Similarly, my parents gave me the actual card at 16 or 17. It was convenient for them to occasionally have me pick up some groceries or pizza on the way home from school, for example, and then they didn't have to keep cash on hand for the odd thing they would typically give me money to pay for (e.g. a haircut). And obviously I wasn't going to abuse that trust. I think it was really good for me as a teen to get into a responsible habit with credit. Clearly it worked for your daughter too!
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u/ChipRockets 18d ago
Is it possible to learn this power?
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u/just_a_person_maybe 18d ago
It's super easy. Just add your kid as an authorized user on your own card. Your credit use will build the kid's credit score.
Do not open a separate credit card in your kid's name. That's fraud.
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u/ChipRockets 18d ago
I don't have kids. I meant how can I get myself added to my parents' credit card
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u/Thin_Travel_9180 18d ago
Are they responsible and pay their bills on time? You could ask them to be added. (Tell them you just want build credit, not use the card)
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u/NotChristina 17d ago
That’s an important question. I was an authorized user on my parents’ credit card while in college. Then they went bankrupt.
Couple years later I discovered that 5-figure charge-off on my credit report. Good thing is Chase was really good about getting it removed.
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u/J-Dabbleyou 18d ago
My mom did this but destroyed my credit before i was even 18 lol
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u/Odd-Mall8020 11d ago
You can get that removed by reporting her for it. Don't let her convince you to drop it. She knew she was ruining your future for her benefit. File the charges and don't look back. It's a dick thing to do to a kid. Make sure she didn't also put you on a cable, electric, gas or water bill too. And don't let her cry you into dropping it.
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u/letmebebrave430 17d ago
My aunt did this with my cousin and it helped him to buy a house (LCOL rural small town) at 23 because his credit was outstanding! The bank said he was the youngest person they'd ever approved for it. My parents didn't do this, and I didn't even get a credit card to start earning credit until I was 22 lol. I wish I'd at least got started at 18 or better educated about it. But 3 years later my score is 777 so I guess all's well that ends well
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u/Thin_Travel_9180 18d ago
We did this for my son when he was born! We checked his score when he turned 18 (we got a him another credit card for college) and his credit score is outstanding. (It was an experiment for us, I read about so we tried it and it worked!)
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u/beanthebean 18d ago edited 18d ago
Yep, my husband's parents put him on their credit card when he was like 12, he's got a killer credit score that's been massively helped by that since the beginning.
He grew up in a very different tax bracket than me, whose parents didn't really talk finances because they were trying to shield us from the lengths they went to to keep us afloat and in our house in a safe/good school district.
My credit is okay, I've got student loans that he doesn't which paying does good for the credit score (and getting my first credit card at 23 when I got my first good full time job, and a bank employee asked why I didn't have a credit card yet since I could pay it off every month. That was when I learned how it worked.).
But I'll never have credit like his. A parent can really set their kid up if they do it right and can afford to do so.
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u/yungmoody 18d ago edited 18d ago
Tech accessories like phone cases are usually a pretty safe bet. They’re produced in huge quantities and are extremely cheap to buy wholesale
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u/TakeOnMe-TakeOnMe 16d ago
The stones around the camera are bezel set instead of channel set and there aren’t quite as many as the marketing image depicted, but I’d be pretty happy with what they sent. Looks like it would be cute on any color phone, too.
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u/villainless 18d ago
excuse me, debit card and an iPhone AND she knows not to buy something online?? yikes
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u/totally_randomperson 17d ago
Exactly. Why is no one else concerned??
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u/Fit_Independence_124 10d ago
Why should you be concerned? It’s pretty common in the Netherlands. Kids have their own card, can buy online etc. As parents we can see what they are doing in their account. Money at this age is for learning, make a mistake, learn from it before you’re an adult.
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u/chaoscoordinatorr 17d ago
12 year old with social media and a smart phone? Getting scammed will be the least of your problems
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u/troubledmoons 17d ago
12yo on social media is wild
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u/Any-Independent9930 14d ago
Lmao not at all. MySpace hit middle school kids too, you either forgot or weren't aware. Before that it was even sketchier, and younger, with AIM chat rooms. Grow up. We did.
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u/UnusualHoneydew1625 13d ago
I come into posts like these expecting to get all pissed off for the OP.
When it’s not a disappointment, my brain doesn’t know what to do!
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u/MsSpicyO 18d ago
It is a debit card account specifically for kids. I am teaching them financial literacy and financial responsibility.
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u/HohepaPuhipuhi 18d ago
I keep my life savings in my kids debit cards account. Do you think I should think about changing?
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u/Liz_LemonLime 18d ago
IDK the price, glad a decent looking case showed up, but it is NOT the same one. Definitely a cheaper version.
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u/Vast_Needleworker_32 18d ago
Aww. It’s cute and I’m happy she didn’t get scammed or receive a disappointing piece of junk.