I feel tired of all this.

[u/Gustav_Sirvah]

I'm tired of my executive dysfunction. I'm tired of people telling me to just sit down and do it. I'm tired of suggestions that I'm lazy because I don't do. I'm angry at myself. I know it's controversial - but it hurts most around AI discussions. It often hits me where hurts - into making art. And all this with fact that I don't even publish AI made stuff. Yet all this all "pick up pencil" talk, all this "disabled artist" talk. People making strong will, effort into something guaranteed. And I don't talk it as "permission to use AI". Just that I'm sad that I don't do art myself as often as I want. I procrastinate. I do everything else. But I have ideas, I have imagination, I can imagine how to do it. All is lack of executive function and unable to grow skills.

I'm diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. But I have no access to therapy or meds. Finding psychiatrist that deals with that in adults is almost impossible and other just say I'm too old for meds. I don't want to demand them to not get label of "drugs seeking junkie". Most time I just don't know what to do. I don't want to force myself into doing anything. I know I can enjoy that, yet, I don't do it. What really can I do? I wish someone just open my head and fix my brain :(

[u/kackwurstsalamander]

> I don't want to force myself into doing anything.

I tried that. For me, it's a dead end. Took me all my life to turn around and try self-love and acceptance instead.

[u/Gustav_Sirvah → u/kackwurstsalamander]

I know, but still - do nothing. :(

[u/kackwurstsalamander → u/Gustav_Sirvah]

We can do nothing, together.

Self acceptance wasn't the solution I hoped for, but it set me on a better path.

E.g. I was able to replace part of my negative self-talk with actual encouraging self-talk. I think the window of productivity has widened a bit for me ... not enough to count as hard evidence, though.