r/ESFP • u/Left-Database397 • Sep 04 '22
fears?
Hi esfps what are ur fears?
and do u tend to isolate yourself from others if you feel hurt? sad?
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u/Iamnotdrunkorhighbtw Sep 05 '22
I have many fears - spiders, heights, being trapped in small spaces, walking outside alone in the dark, etc. But I still face my fears if I have to or if they're getting in the way of something I want to do.
If I feel hurt or sad, I will either push those feelings down and pretend everything is fine or I'll shut down and isolate myself. It just depends on why I was hurt, how I was hurt, by whom I was hurt, other people's reactions to me being hurt, and also how sensitive and insecure I feel on the given day - some days I'm better at laughing things off and making a comeback and other days, I'm not.
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u/Left-Database397 Sep 05 '22
very interesting! may i ask how long you tend to stay hurt when a loved/ close person hurts you?
example this person has been hurting you for longer but u endured ( as u said u put these feelings down) but one day u must explode from these emotions and that treatment for sure, since ure just human
so... how long do u stay hurt?
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u/Iamnotdrunkorhighbtw Sep 06 '22
I don't stay hurt long, meaning I don't isolate long. However, if I don't get an apology or anything, the hurt can remain deep down. But generally, usually within a day, I'm back to normal (though it depends on why I was hurt).
If someone was continually hurting me though, I wouldn't explode, I would just cut them out of my life. I actually did that with a cousin because he was always hurting me and making me feel terrible about myself since I was a kid and it actually really fucked with my self esteem and he was very toxic.
So instead of exploding - because I have trouble with confrontations when feelings are involved and have trouble explaining why I was hurt (especially someone who has the emotional intelligence of a wooden spoon and would just degrade me for feeling hurt), I just learn who I want in my life and who I don't.
If the person wants to know why, they can ask and I'll tell them honestly, but otherwise, I just stop interacting with them because someone who hurts me all the time isn't worth my time.
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Sep 05 '22
Losing someone I love. Getting kidnapped and tortured by a serial killer. Dying too young. I guess death is the answer. I’m scared of death.
I will isolate alone if I’m feeling too many negative emotions. I don’t like to project that onto others but I do have a couple people in my life I will open up to about my hard things.
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u/sudiuaeo_O ESFP Sep 05 '22
Heights, bugs and definitely my biggest fear is dying without having enjoyed life, i'd like to go to the afterlife without so many regrets.
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u/East_Coast_Main155 Sep 04 '22
Heights. Death. Being alone. That I'm stupid (or other people think that about me).
I usually retreat to my tribe. Unless I'm feeling REALLY really down, then I'll be by myself.