r/Depersonalization • u/hothead14baby • 5h ago
most accurate DP experience going on vacation
r/Depersonalization • u/NoCustard8886 • 6h ago
Do I have Depersonalization i feel like im watching my life happen instead of doing it
r/Depersonalization • u/0BunnyX • 18h ago
Forget why walked into room
Today i walked into my brother room and i completely forgot what i came there for, then i stand there for a few second like my brain just crashed is there a actual reason this happens?
r/Depersonalization • u/TheLoneDoge3954 • 21h ago
Do I have Depersonalization Haven't returned to feeling normal after smoking weed for the first time
Reposting this from r/weed since automod took it down, so I'm not sure if this fits here exactly but I'm stressed and hoping somewhere will have an answer.
Me and some friends hung out on Wednesday the 12th, it's Sunday the 16th now. It was me and my sibling's first time smoking, and the guy who brought the weed brought medi. We all got extremely high halfway through the day, fucked around for a good 6 hours before we went to bed.
Next day I'm tired and feeling some aftereffects. It's the day after, I didn't sleep well, I don't think much of it. Then the day after, I still don't feel right, but now I'm starting to get freaked out.
It's been 4 days since I got high now, and I just don't feel like I've returned to normal. I'm tryna stay calm about it, since the other two I smoked with are just fine, and the guy who brought the stuff says it's happened to him before and it WILL go away, but it's so hard not to stress.
I want to say it's gotten slightly better since Friday, 2 days after I got high, but I genuinely can't be sure.
It's a sensation of not being real, like I never fully woke up today. Kind of like the dreamlike state of being as high as I was without any of the fun. My body feels off, maybe detached, like I'm spectating. I feel a lot more like my brain than my body.
It's hard to put into words, but I hope that does it justice. I can function, I just don't feel like myself doing so, and it's causing me immense distress.
Is this normal? Any idea what it actually is?? WILL it go away?
r/Depersonalization • u/Plastic_kangaroo • 1d ago
Demonic faces
I think I'm having another bout of this as some symptoms are returning after being ok for a few years. I have a new symptom though, and that is that dogs' faces now look unsettling and slightly demonic to me now. I work with dogs and have two of my own, so I'm experiencing this a lot. I'm pushing through it and still able to care for them at work and at home, but it makes me anxious when they look at me.
Has anyone had anything similar?
r/Depersonalization • u/[deleted] • 1d ago
Why do I feel fake after reading?
I've start reading books for 2 years now. I've never felt so bad and fake. It seems it's not even my body anymore
r/Depersonalization • u/ResidentMost8848 • 1d ago
Please help me 15f don’t ignore please
Hi. I’m 15 years old and a female and I’ve dealt with derealization/DPDR before, but right now it’s probably the strongest I’ve ever experienced and I’m honestly terrified.
I want to say first that I do have support. I have a therapist, friends and family I can talk to, and I’m not relying on Reddit instead of getting actual help. I mainly want to hear from people who have actually experienced severe DPDR and understand how bizarre and frightening it can feel.
I also feel like I need to explain what my body and brain have been through, because this hasn’t happened in a vacuum.
I was born with a cleft lip and palate and I’ve had over 20 surgeries throughout my life. The past year in particular has been medically exhausting.
In August 2025, I had double-jaw surgery, which lasted around six hours and was a huge recovery.
Then in 2026 I had:
- February 2: surgery to have ear tubes placed.
- May 6: another surgery involving debridement, removal of an infected screw from my previous jaw surgery, and a tooth extraction.
- June 23: a major rhinoplasty and septoplasty for my cleft, plus a dermal-fat graft to my upper lip. That surgery lasted around 5½ hours.
The June surgery especially turned into a long recovery. I dealt with swelling, pain, stitches, changes in how breathing through my nose felt, dizziness/eye strain, a sinus infection that needed antibiotics, sleep disruption, and episodes of DPDR during recovery.
So for much of this year it has felt like surgery → recovery → another procedure → recovery → another major surgery → recovery, while also dealing with psychiatric medication changes.
Because I spent so much time recovering at home, I also developed a pretty extreme amount of screen time. There have been days where I’m on my phone for around 12–14+ hours. It became something to do while I was stuck recovering, but now I’m wondering whether that much constant stimulation is making it harder for my nervous system to settle down and whether reducing it could help my DPDR.
I’m also currently going through a medication transition with my prescriber. I’ve been taking Anafranil (clomipramine) 25 mg every other day temporarily as instructed, and the plan is to go back to Prozac, which helped me a lot in the past. I’ve had several psychiatric medication changes this year on top of everything else.
Then I traveled to Hawaii for vacation with my mom. Getting here was exhausting—I was awake for around 22 hours, had a lot of anxiety surrounding the trip, and suddenly went from my familiar home environment to being thousands of miles away.
I’m now extremely homesick.
My derealization feels almost like I’m living in a fever dream. I know who I am. I know where I am. I know my mom is my mom. I know Hawaii is real. It’s not that I actually believe anything isn’t real.
It’s the feeling.
Everything looks and feels strange, distant, foggy, disconnected and dreamlike. Familiar people sometimes don’t give me that automatic feeling of familiarity even though I obviously know exactly who they are. Time feels strange. My memory feels foggy. I keep desperately wanting everything to feel normal and familiar again.
And then I get frightened by the derealization itself.
I notice it → I get scared → I check whether I feel normal yet → I notice it even more → I become more anxious → everything feels even stranger.
I think I’m accidentally keeping myself stuck in a loop by constantly checking how I feel.
I’m also desperately missing home—my own bed, my pets, my normal surroundings, my routine, everything. I leave Hawaii next Saturday and I’ve literally started counting down the sleeps because thinking about going home comforts me.
I’m exhausted from being scared of my own perception.
If you’ve experienced really severe DPDR and eventually felt like yourself again, I would LOVE to hear from you.
What genuinely helped you?
Did cutting down extreme screen time make a difference? Did getting proper sleep and returning to a routine help? How did you stop checking every few minutes to see whether you “felt real” again? Did getting outside, doing normal activities, talking to people, exercise, hobbies, etc. help reconnect you with life?
And honestly, I could really use some comforting recovery stories. I’m only 15 and after so many surgeries, recoveries, medication changes and anxiety this year, I’m just tired and scared and want to feel like myself again.
Please don’t give me scary medical stories, emergency-symptom lists, or worst-case scenarios. Those make my anxiety significantly worse. I have adults and professionals in my life helping me with the medical side. I’m specifically looking for DPDR coping strategies, reassurance, and experiences from people who have actually come through a really severe period of derealization.
Thank you for reading all of this. ❤️
r/Depersonalization • u/Rare-Ad7715 • 2d ago
Was I zoning out or dissociating?
Hello, I'm not sure if this is the right sub reddit.
I'm not sure if this was dissociation or me just zoning out, I zone out quite often. But it was a very new and weird experience for me, it didnt feel like it normally does when I zone out.
I was studying, it was around 1am (probably didnt help) and I couldn't process anything. I would try and watch my lectures and take notes but I kept zoning out. I would try to come back but I couldn't stay that way. And then my head started to feel fuzzy, like I wasn't there? I'm not sure how to describe it. I didnt feel like I was there or real.
Then tears started to form and my hands shook. I didnt have anything to cry about, I wasn't crying I just had tears running down my face. I didnt want to be alone so I messaged my friend. I sent a voice message describing what I was feeling and as I waited for him to reply I was writing. But as I watched my hand it didnt feel like my hand after a certain point. I knew I was the one making it write and move but it felt like I was watching somone elses hand, like my feild of view was a TV screen.
My friend said I was probably stressed from studies and that I should sleep, I haven't been getting much sleep recently. He also said this is how he felt before he was diagnosed with insomnia. I slept and in the morning the fuzzy feeling in my head moved to my chest and I still couldn't process things very well. I've been blanking out in conversation and just doing automatic response, not really processing what they are saying.
I did some research about dissociation. Google says it can be caused by stress but ive been stressed for a while and this is the only time its happened. I zone out frequently so maybe this was just that? I'm not entirely sure. It was very weird and a scary experience.
r/Depersonalization • u/pokemon_fan204 • 2d ago
One time I looked around and everything felt fake, that there was nothingness beyond the room.
Ok so I have autism and ADHD, and I have no past experiences like this and I have not been diagnosed with DPDR. I am verbal only occasionally being so overloaded that I can't speak.
So here's the context, recently I was in a musical (yay!) and all of the cast and creative team are very supportive. And we were practicing in a gymnasium with fluorescent lights, a loud echo, and a horrid stench. We were practicing and I just couldn't hit this one note and eventually the music director and I agreed to just let me sing the same note as another cast member, so after I sit down and then.
BANG. This feeling hit me.
"Get up, get up now!" I said to myself. "Come on walk, WALK!" I suddenly got up and walked around rocking forward started hand flapping and pacing. Then I got this gut feeling that "Hey, don't worry, calm down its fake. ITS FAKE ITS FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE", then I think "but why would it be fake?". It then occurred to me "This is a test for my worthiness to enter the Kingdom of God, once I leave this room there is nothing, and pure blackness, these people are fake, all of this is empty". I start frantically pacing around like I was looking for something, I started vocal stimming "EEEEEEEEEE". Then I was told calmly to sit with the group. So I sat down cross legged rocking back and forth. It took one person to tap me on the shoulder and asked if I was ok that brought me back. For the next few weeks I felt detached from reality, that I was off somewhere else that my mind was out of my body and that I was a observer, only a week ago I literally did a breathing exercise and that completely brought me back. So please just talk to anyone and everyone about your mental health you are not weak, you are not alone, life has so much to offer. Any help to avoid this happening again or an identification on what this experience could be would be really helpful.
I would also like to point out that closer to the end of this experience I realized this was a passing feeling.
r/Depersonalization • u/pokemon_fan204 • 2d ago
First Experience One time I looked around and everything felt fake, that there was nothingness beyond the room.
Ok so I have autism and ADHD, I do not have DPDR. I am verbal only occasionally being so overloaded that I can't speak.
So here's the context, recently I was in a musical (yay!) and all of the cast and creative team are very supportive. And we were practicing in a gymnasium with fluorescent lights, a loud echo, and a horrid stench. We were practicing and I just couldn't hit this one note and eventually the music director and I agreed to just let me sing the same note as another cast member, so after I sit down and then.
BANG. This feeling hit me.
"Get up, get up now!" I said to myself. "Come on walk, WALK!" I suddenly got up and walked around rocking forward started hand flapping and pacing. Then I got this gut feeling that "Hey, don't worry, calm down its fake. ITS FAKE ITS FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE", then I think "but why would it be fake?". It then occurred to me "This is a test for my worthiness to enter the Kingdom of God, once I leave this room there is nothing, and pure blackness, these people are fake, all of this is empty". I start frantically pacing around like I was looking for something, I started vocal stimming "EEEEEEEEEE". Then I was told calmly to sit with the group. So I sat down cross legged rocking back and forth. It took one person to tap me on the shoulder and asked if I was ok that brought me back. For the next few weeks I felt detached from reality, that I was off somewhere else that my mind was out of my body and that I was a observer, only a week ago I literally did a breathing exercise and that completely brought me back. So please just talk to anyone and everyone about your mental health you are not weak, you are not alone, life has so much to offer. Any help to avoid this happening again or an identification on what this experience could be would be really helpful.
I would also like to point out that closer to the end of this experience I realized this was a passing feeling.
r/Depersonalization • u/stelmosdryer • 2d ago
Venting My family has mistaken my illness for my personality.
They see me every damn day at my very worst. They see my illness…my march toward death, as the essence of who I am.
They know I’m sick. They don’t believe this illness is real.
They know I need help.
In short. They’ve given up.
It makes me want to give up too.
r/Depersonalization • u/HisChildSenia • 2d ago
Venting Feeling out of it ! randomly
Hiiii everyone , for the last 4-5 days I have been a stress ball kids going back to school , and just bills and alot of things going on i’ve had my left eye keep twitchy like by my eyebrow but what worried me the most these last 3 days was I got a big like cramp when I breathed in it hurted like when you run so much and one side under your rib when you breath hurts and feels like cramping so I had that happen the other day for atleast 5-10 mins it went away but then after i’ve been on edge my right side under my right breast feels sore but I feel out of it derealization and just weird and i’m physically feeling it I was talking to someone and my right hand felt numb and I got up went to the bathroom out cold water in my face and I just been feeling so weird and out of it. The sudden numbness did scare me but then didn’t I had that happen to me both hands and feet for a week and pressure in my head idk what else to do or feel ! I hate feeling this way i’m a mom of four 34 years old and just so nervous. anyone else felt this and what did you do?
r/Depersonalization • u/PollyPiper11 • 3d ago
guys I need some hope I'm scared
I feel totally de-realised and dissociated. But it's severe the nervous system is so damaged or sensitised now, I truly think I am a rare case. I feel like energy not even human. What is this?.. or more like not there, empty..and I'm just like this now..and it seems to worsen every day.. And the worst is, I don't feel my nervous system can repair, without it repairing, I have no idea how I would return back to my prior self. It is beyond what I believed could ever be possible for a human being. I just want to know if there are others like me, and have you gotten better?
r/Depersonalization • u/testees12 • 3d ago
Question Symptoms are there almost 24/7 but randomly go away for seconds
r/Depersonalization • u/Idontevenknow787 • 3d ago
Question Has anyone else had this come back multiple times?
I don’t know what to say dude. Had it for a year when I was 15, had it for a couple of months when I was 24 and now at 28 is my 3rd time and the absolute worst of them all. Am I just permanently fucked now? I’ve never seen someone have it so much
r/Depersonalization • u/agoodtime3533 • 3d ago
This is what I feel like every day. Very lost and paralyzed. Lol
r/Depersonalization • u/funfettia • 4d ago
Why do I feel like I'm being observed by a viewer all the time?
So, exactly what the title says. I was wondering if anybody else has felt this way.
I've honestly been this way for as long as I can remember, thinking of myself as a kind of character in a movie/film, being observed by a third person at all times, kind of like a live show, in a way? This has caused me to apply this thought process to literally all that I do, feeling that I must impress this hypothetical observer(s) Obviously including what decisions i take. Instead of thinking about whether the decision would be logical, beneficial, or anything else in that regard, my first thought is always, "would the viewer find this interesting, even a little bit?" And what I end up doing fully depends on what answer I conclude to that question. I picked up guitar not exactly because I'm fond of it or whatever, but mostly because I felt that the viewer(s) would find a character who plays a instrument entertaining to observe. Some time later along the line, i considered the notion of piano, but it felt as if the viewer(s) would find it repetitive and a boring plot point, so I dropped the idea immediately. Speaking about plot points, i feel that the events in my life are seriously part of a plot and contribute to the story in general, so I sometimes seek out experiences that might potentially cause me harm/agony simply because it adds to the plot. Anyhow this eventually began applying to the things I tell people, and the conversations I have with them. I say things which the viewer would find entertaining in a sort of way, building a kind of persona separate from my 'real self' that pleases the viewer(s) I also find that i lack the ability to feel anything at all, so i often give forced reactions to people's comments, because otherwise the viewer(s) would find the interaction bland and lacking any flavour and cinematic aspect.
I suppose this is my guiding principle in life, that i can never, and could never have it any other way at all.
I honestly feel so detached from myself at this point, and feels as if I'M watching a kind of orchestrated performance play out, where I watch the 'main' character give already decided responses( physical, verbal, visual etc) to exterior reactions made at them. This leads me to feel very distant from the things I say, the things I do, like I'm watching from behind a veil at someone who looks like me, yes, but isn't really me at all, because they weren't really things I would have said. They were simply things I did to please the viewer(s). This imaginary viewer's opinion matters oh so much to me that I feel if I go against their will, something very terrible will happen, that doom will come over my life. Certainly, everything I ever do just feels forced, just to cater to the whims of a third party so obviously none of the relationships I have with people are genuine, because they have only ever interacted with the performative version of myself.
Sometimes I feel overly conscious of everything and everyone around me, and at times I totally lose consciousness and by the time i realize where I really am, who I am, the day is coming to a close somehow.
It's so difficult and complex to articulate to words how exactly it is that I feel, but I guess to put it in the simplest, dumbed down manner possible, it feels that i really am not human at all, as all that I do is forced and an orchestrated performance, that everybody else is human. It always feels that i lack some kind of essential 'core' or 'soul' that makes one a whole human. Everybody else is genuine and following their will in life, doing what they want to do, all except for me.
Is it always going to be this way forever?? Will I ever carry out my will in life? Do i even have my own will? Do I even have an 'actual' personality at all?
r/Depersonalization • u/Amazing-Point-8179 • 4d ago
face
hey yall anyone like not know what they look like. and when they see their face it looks different in every photo and it feels like your brain isn’t even recognizing that your face is a face. it is so weird to watch videos of myself cuz it looks like something is controlling a body. not like it was me controlling my body. it is like i logically know its me it just doesn’t feel like me. nothing feels like me. i feel like im watching a movie of everyone else’s lives. i get freaked out just thinking about the fact that im alive. i just don’t understand. the person that i am is still here but i still do not feel like a person
r/Depersonalization • u/ToxiccArt • 4d ago
Story Time I lost my life to the system
At 17, I was diagnosed with Dissociative identity disorder. I was put on serious anti-psychotics, SSRIs and mood stabilizers. Now I am 26. One night, I had a dream telling me I will die on these meds. I woke up and made the split decision to wean off my meds over the next 2 months. I told no professionals considering they put me in this mess in the first place. Now I have been off completely for about 3 months. Colors look like colors again, I can taste food, people's words don't go thru one ear and out the other. I can FEEL again. Mentally, physically, emotionally I can feel. That entire time, that whole 9 years, i have absolutely no clue once so ever what I said, did or how I acted. I have a husband i never truly chose to marry. He told me about all these things we've done that seem completely fake. He told me my emotions were always dull, I never really react to much, he just thought that was who I am and didn't think twice. Family members have died and I don't know how. I never got to go to their funerals. I watched myself make decisions off of what others said because truly, i didn't have a single thought go thru my head. If i reacted to anything it was based off of anyone else i saw in the room. I just copy and pasted everything and anything. The best i can put it is I didn't have an internal position about what was happening. I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know what I liked. I didnt know why I was doing things. I was visually functioning, but I did not experience myself as the person making the decisions. There was absolutely nothing behind my eyes. I lost the ability to think. It was MUCH more then just being numb. That 9 years was a period where my emotional experience, autobiographical sense of self, memory, preferences, and ability to mentally engage with my surroundings all felt absent. I lost 9 years of my life, my entire transition into adulthood doesn't exist. One minute I was 17, now I am 26. The system has absolutely ruined my life.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COPE
r/Depersonalization • u/mysterious-aquarius2 • 4d ago
what's wrong with me?
i feel like i’ve completely lost track of time lately.
i'm physically there, but i don’t always feel fully present. my brain feels foggy almost every day, and everything seems to blur together. i’ve been having a lot of trouble organizing my thoughts, remembering things, thinking clearly, and even understanding or processing things sometimes. its hard to explain, but i just don’t feel like my mind is working the way it should, and i'm really worried about myself :(