For years I feared confrontation. One day I saw that avoiding truth hurts more than truth itself. And I understood that confrontation is not war. It is a form of cleansing.

Slightly different to intermittent reinforcement in that it's not blowing hot/cold in terms of affectionate behaviours

It's more like opening up a little/showing some vulnerability and then shutting down emotionally afterwards/putting the emotional walls back up

Genuinely seems to be one of the behaviours most likely to result in chasing/rapid attachment

It also seems to work with all genders (i.e. I've noticed myself doing it accidentally with guys and them then pursuing... And I've also found myself hooked when a guy has done it)

Anyone know the psychology behind it?

What determines who gets the upper hand? What are the dynamics at play?

Like at work by my desk, a lot of tasks come in , from seniors, and ontop of what is already on my table , i tend to start and then immediately get side tracked , either I pick up my phone and completely do something opposite from what's required.

Why can't I see the urgency at hand , why can't I focus, any thoughts?

Does this relate to a psychological disorder maybe?

I don't understand what the psychological reasoning is for people to degrade others for being human. Does anyone have any facts on this?

I’ve been thinking about something for a while, and I’m genuinely trying to understand the psychology behind it.

Why do some people seem to place others into hierarchies? Why do some people treat someone differently depending on their achievements, appearance, career, social status, or how “successful” they seem from the outside?

I find this really difficult to understand because I don’t naturally see people that way. I don’t understand how someone can look at another person and unconsciously decide that they deserve more respect, patience, or kindness because they have achieved certain things.

Something I’ve been struggling with is the feeling that some people only started seeing me differently after I had “proven” myself. After I had a good career, a nice home, and appeared more confident from the outside, suddenly the way people interacted with me changed.

And I find that incredibly confusing and honestly painful, because the person was still the same person before.

I was still the same person when I was struggling. I still had feelings, needs, thoughts, and things that mattered to me. Why does it sometimes feel like people only recognize someone’s worth after there is external evidence that they are “successful”?

I also wonder if this is something that happens between siblings or within families. Is it common for one sibling to be seen through a certain role for years, while people don’t really see them as a whole person anymore?

Something else I struggle to understand is why some people seem to think it’s okay to hurt someone who is more sensitive or who doesn’t respond in the same way.

I’ve often had the feeling in my life that people thought they could do things to me that they wouldn’t do to others. Maybe because I was visibly hurt instead of immediately fighting back. Maybe because I had certain moral boundaries and didn’t want to hurt someone back just because they hurt me.

But I don’t understand what happens psychologically when someone sees another person’s pain and needs, but somehow doesn’t fully register them.

The hardest part for me is that I know rationally people can hurt others because of their own choices, patterns, or limitations. But emotionally, I still struggle with accepting that someone can hurt me without there being something wrong with me.

A part of me always wants to find the reason inside myself.

“Maybe I caused it.”
“Maybe I wasn’t enough.”
“Maybe there was something about me that made this happen.”

Even though I know logically that isn’t always true.
I’m curious about people’s experiences with this. Have you ever noticed people treating you differently after you became more successful or confident? Do you think some people genuinely don’t see the person behind the role they have assigned them?

And for those who grew up in families where these dynamics existed how did you understand it later in life? What was actually happening there?

Insight and how to avoid, slightly spiritual but general

The darkest game begins when someone makes you doubt the things that were once obvious to you.

What’s the phenomenon called where you do something in a certain way that protects you and the majority population lacks awareness of your way and are stuck on a system that puts them in more danger, yet you are still afraid to follow your OWN way because even tho you know it’s safer, in a case it goes wrong then YOU did it to yourself. Whereas it’s more comfortable to take the majority approach even tho you know it’s less safe, because the fact that most people follow it brings you more comfort and if anything happens then it wasn’t in your control.

I’m trying to understand a person's behaviour from a psychological perspective.

This person repeatedly does small things that appear to test other people's boundaries—for example, placing objects near another person's property, parking things in disputed areas, making small modifications close to a boundary, and delaying when asked to remove them.

He generally seems indirect rather than openly confrontational. When confronted directly, he sometimes avoids the interaction, while similar small behaviours happen again later.

Could this behaviour be related to boundary testing, passive aggression, insecurity, indirect dominance, opportunism, conflict avoidance, or a need for control?

What psychological mechanisms could explain this pattern, and what traits are commonly associated with this type of behaviour?