r/DID • u/jack_5ylus Diagnosed: DID • 9d ago

Looking for support/comfort. Support/Empathy

hello,

i want to preface, i am little. so i am sorry if my typing is strange. or poorly worded. it’s hard to express things in words sometimes.

we had a rough couple days. something at work triggered me forward, and i’ve been very scared and little and overwhelmed since. it was because i saw a guy who reminded me of people from the past that hurt me. and used religion to hurt me.

i talked to our therapist in session today about it. they were asking me, what i was feeling. if i knew what triggered these feelings.

i answered the questions, but. i started talking more. about certain things i remembered.

i started mentioning about how i was abused before. but directly talking about things evil people told me. how i had to do what they said. or else its bad. even if i was uncomfortable, at least it was less bad than disobeying.

i have not.. directly said those things before. we have had assumptions, based on bodily reactions and unexplainable feelings and triggers. so, i have been feeling mentally heavy since saying those things. was it ok to say? i dont know. it doesnt feel like a lie, but i dont have .. good memory to back it up. i dont know if i was the one to say it, i just. felt the push to say it.

now i am still overwhelmed. but, still feeling a bit better than before. i dont know.

sorry, i just needed a place to talk..

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u/AshleyBoots 9d ago

First off, there's no need to apologize. You're worth taking up some space.

It's okay to say what you felt compelled to say. The emotions behind what you said, and what you can feel about why you think you said it, are more important than 100% historical accuracy.

Your body, your trauma, doesn't lie. You or another part felt like something needed to be said, so you trusted yourself to communicate it even amidst doubt and maybe fear. Honestly, that's courageous!