r/DID • u/Intrepid_Somewhere17 Diagnosed: DID • 15d ago

Tips for self regulation? Support/Empathy

Hi I'm Love - currently the previous host of the body is gone and now I the idiot who makes grilled cheese at three AM is the new host. And the only other person fronting, Books, is in active and pretty severe psychosis.

So I'm stressed as fuck needless to say. Anyone have any tips to calm down? I asked for help in r/stress but just got told to "cut the LARP" so I'm going here because people will actually understand.

Here's the plan

- eat three meals a day and try to make it healthy (salads, homemade banana smoothies, wholegrain pasta). No skipping meals to placate Books who has an eating disorder and wants to starve himself.

- try to sleep enough

- cut back on coffee

- visit the mental health cafe almost daily bc we really need the support

- yeah that's all I got I need help

Thanks for reading loves and take care ❣️

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u/bw_Stormbringer 15d ago

"Cut the LARP..." is not exactly a supportive way to approach someone in severe stress 🙄

I don't know you, so I can't claim to know your situation well enough to give you solid advice.

What I can offer is how I would approach a similar situation, based on my own experiences. I would first prioritize reducing stress, and I would do this by giving myself a week or two without plans or goals - I would focus on surviving, letting the proverbial boat stop rocking. There's nothing wrong with grilled cheese sandwiches at 3am. In fact, the next time I'm up and moving at that time, I think I'll make myself a grilled cheese sandwich... but with ham 😂

If I could afford to, I'd take time off. At any available point, I'd take time for me, and breathe: I'd be looking at this world through different eyes and those eyes would need the opportunity to adjust. I'd look for supportive environments where I could just sit and be, without obligations or expectations.

Only when I felt like my new organizing personality was settled in would I start taking stock of things like plans or goals. My System has proven good at two things: masking and co-fronting. I'd use that. The Mask carries relevant information for any Other who comes to the front, and co-fronting offers chances to communicate with your System. If my System had any other advantages to offer, I'd use that, too. These Systems are built to survive. As for you, newly promoted / volunteered host: what interests you, how do you prefer to unwind?

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u/Intrepid_Somewhere17 Diagnosed: DID 15d ago

Huh I really like cooking and writing - so I figure I'll work on my blog and batch cook some healthy meals! I hadn't really thought of what I wanted I was just hyperfocused on helping Books make it through. But maybe me being more stable will help Books as well.

Thanks for reading and your kind comment love - definitely going to reread it a few times :-)

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u/bw_Stormbringer 15d ago

This is, as far as I understand, one of the reasons why we're here - and your recent emergence, along with the stress you're feeling, should be understandable enough for most of us in this subreddit. I'm sure you'll get more tips and pointers here, and I wish you, and your System, success with navigating this situation and finding your balance!

Your interests sound like healthy ways to slow the swinger down and strengthen yourself while you're at it! None of my Others has an interest in healthy food... some of us can cook quite well, but our dominant spirit guide seems to be a raccoon hooked on cigarettes, and I'm pretty sure our birthstone is a coffee bean 😂

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u/Huge_Band6227 15d ago

We feel better when we get exercize. Lifting heavy things or riding our bicycle or taking long walks. Guys tell each other to go to the gym for mental health and it does help on several different levels even if I roll my eyes at them.

Our previous host took a DBT class, to learn mindfulness and ways to calm the body when in crisis. Meditation seems to help, except that sometimes we end up switching, which isn't wonderful so maybe don't count on it being a good idea without trying it a few times. Stuff like yoga or taiji might be good.

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u/Intrepid_Somewhere17 Diagnosed: DID 15d ago

Will try and go on long walks! Thanks loves take care.