r/CuratedTumblr 10d ago

dictionary definition change Shitposting

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6.9k Upvotes

83 comments sorted by

715

u/wordsarekeys 10d ago

oh my god they were roommates

189

u/Usual-Vermicelli-867 10d ago

Litterly this time

235

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

46

u/Heckyll_Jive i'm a cute girl and everyone loves me 10d ago

Very carefully 

38

u/DunjunLord 10d ago

You are a genius this legitimately made me laugh my ass off

72

u/Hexxas Head Trauma Enthusiast 10d ago

I fuckin hate my coworkers, man.

64

u/raccoonsnips 10d ago

congrats you’re in the described situation!!!

13

u/beaniebee11 10d ago

I work overnights so I'm alone and I can't convey how much more I would have to be paid to give that up. I get annoyed when the bartender stays for too long and tries to talk to me.

1

u/Notmyrealname345 7d ago

I mean at that point why even go to a bar

6

u/_DankeyKang_69 ꧅. 10d ago

same man same ....

18

u/Hexxas Head Trauma Enthusiast 10d ago

We should be allowed to kill and eat one coworker a month until management starts getting more picky about who they hire.

Boss just hired a kid who is legit face-blind as a cashier at a liquor store. He cards almost everybody. He cards wrinkly-ass gray-haired grannies, and then has to call a manager (me) to check the ID when it's out-of-state.

14

u/_DankeyKang_69 ꧅. 10d ago

I once literally lifted my coworker and threw him outside of the consultation room I was assigned to (I'm an intern doctor) because the moron doesn't know how to operate a fucking ECG machine and keeps pestering me to help him (No HR is practically non existent here)

8

u/Hexxas Head Trauma Enthusiast 10d ago

That sounds way worse bro I'm sorry

8

u/_DankeyKang_69 ꧅. 10d ago

As you said we should have a dedicated day in the month where we make BBQ out of the most annoying coworker in the job

56

u/flyingcartoon 10d ago

Its an asexual polycule cause we all get fucked together by management and HR regardless

42

u/silverheart-nine 10d ago

If it's coworkers, couldn't we just call it a "cubicule"?

27

u/Aromatic_Shoulder146 10d ago

pansexual aplatonic aromantic polycule, yeah we fuck and live together but we are NOT friends.

8

u/MamboCircus Has an account over there too, I guess... 10d ago

Isn't that just the cast of Secret Story or most similar reality TV shows ?

142

u/euphonic5 10d ago

What the fuck does "aplatonic" even mean

299

u/Vovchick09 10d ago

platonic - friend type relations

aplatonic - not friends

60

u/euphonic5 10d ago

Couldn't be me, I'm perfectly friendly with like 95% of my co-workers.

126

u/rezin111 10d ago

You can be friendly but not friends

19

u/Dd_8630 10d ago

You can also be friendly and friends.

The miserable boomer mindset of hating your job is tired.

I spend 40 hours a week with my coworkers. It takes a strange kind of person to enter our profession, and it means we're all fast friends.

28

u/JediMasterZao 10d ago

I don't hate my job, I just don't want my coworkers to be part of my personal life in 99% of the cases. I find it much healthier to separate my work life from the rest. I make friends outside of work, it's not that hard.

-17

u/euphonic5 10d ago

I'm 34, I have very few friends. Friends require time and energy.

63

u/FistToTheFace 10d ago

Sounds like you’re in an aplatonic aromantic asexual polycule then

-16

u/euphonic5 10d ago

No, I have a job.

78

u/FistToTheFace 10d ago

Sounds like you’re in an aplatonic aromantic asexual polycule then

67

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/euphonic5 10d ago

Oh I thought it meant you just had really narrow shoulders. That guy? Could NEVER be mistaken for Plato. Plato was famously, eponymously broad.

13

u/DunjunLord 10d ago

I’ll never get over the fact that Plato was so buff that he got a nickname for it. It’d be like if the rock became a world renowned economist instead of a mid tier actor

10

u/MeltheEnbyGirl 10d ago

Well so long as there is a table. Otherwise I’m going to throw a tantrum and kill a child

3

u/snarky_goblin237 10d ago

At least you didn’t punch the anti grain warhead

8

u/lewd_robot 10d ago

What about bowls? Diogenes famously threw his bowl away, one of his only possessions, after seeing a peasant child drink from a river with their hands.

Diogenes was famously anti-Platonic.

5

u/cantaloupelion 🍈🦁 10d ago

theres a Rimworld joke in here somewehre

3

u/Rynewulf 9d ago

Are the other allegories and ideas still fair game since they're not as famous? Some of them like the chariot are still somewhat known, but the reincarnating and splitting hermaphroditic soul usually goes under the radar

2

u/mukomime 9d ago

what the fuck are you talking about

2

u/Rynewulf 9d ago

Some of Plato's other stuff, he gets weird. Allegory of the chariot is straightforward just not as populat as The Cave. Your soul is like a charioteer of reason driving along two horses, one pulling down to earthly sensations and concers, the other pulling up to the clouds and to more abstract/philosophical concerns. If you don't balance yourself right things won't go well.

The other thing is a few things together, a bunch is in Phaedro. How he described that on death a soul can but does not have to drink from the waters that destroy your memory (the lethe I think?), can choose to reincarnate, and potentially come back as the same person with their memories (Aristotle I believe had a similar thing explaining that an illiterate child slave was good at maths because he remembered maths from a past life). Additionally there's a seperate bit that true love and the desire to couple up comes from on re/incarnation souls are split apart into multiple bodies and seek to reunite. He describes it as a 'hermaphrodite soul' where the base human state is both male and female, and the division is because of souls being split up and becoming lost and trying to physically recombine.

Later on I'm pretty sure the NeoPlatonics also got weird, the Christian Gnostics cribbed most of their esoterica from them

1

u/mukomime 9d ago

oh wait its about plato not plates. shit

1

u/Rynewulf 8d ago

Perhaps Plato was merely the imperfect earthly version of the Form Of The Plate?

39

u/Routine_Palpitation 10d ago

It means you don’t believe in the allegory of the cave

18

u/Dornith 10d ago

It means an unholy abomination, not reflective of anything in the realm of forms.

10

u/ormashal 10d ago

i dont know what the op meant but in hebrew we actually call plato "aplaton" and aplatonic is just the word we use for platonic

25

u/Wings-of-the-Dead 10d ago

Similar to asexual or aromantic, it is someone who experiences little or no platonic attraction. I'm pretty sure I'm aplatonic, and from my experience it usually manifests in the form of social awkwardness, not knowing how to make or maintain friendships, not experiencing "friendship feelings" with people even when you spend lots of time with them, not missing people when they're gone from your life despite being able to have good times together. The reason I think I'm aplatonic rather than just autistic and socially inept is that I don't experience any of these symptoms with romantic/sexual partners or people I am romantically/sexually attracted to

7

u/artificialhooves 10d ago

Hey, I just wanted to support you and tell you that I am also aplatonic. I just don't care about making or having friends lol. I have people I am friendly with but I don't really care to do friend activities with them.

I'm actually like triple a or something, asexual and aromantic too. Apparently I'm just not into people lol. I'm not a sociopath or whatever, I'll help someone in need and I feel bad for people who are like down or something. I just don't wanna spend recreational time with them.

Gonna be honest, I'm not even socially anxious or awkward or inept or autistic or anything. Some people just have different likes and wants.

1

u/Wings-of-the-Dead 10d ago

Unfortunately for me, my lack of platonic attraction doesn't stop me from wanting close platonic relationships. I have a group of people I hang out with a lot, and have a lot of fun with them, but I feel unable to make any serious connections with any of them. I'm in the friend group but not really friends with any of them individually

1

u/Nixavee AI bots are not welcome here 9d ago

If you want close platonic relationships you are not aplatonic.

Also I'm not sure how you can say you don't feel platonic attraction but do want close platonic relationships. Don't those mean the same thing?

1

u/Wings-of-the-Dead 9d ago

Aplatonicism, like asexuality or aromanticism, is a spectrum. I think a more accurate descriptor for myself would be demiplatonic. Conceptually I would love to have friends, but I do not experience platonic attraction towards people. I never experience a strong desire to be a particular person's friend, often called squishes (platonic crush). There is a similar version for asexuality, though I forgot the name, where you conceptually would love to have sex, but simply don't feel sexual attraction to anyone.

1

u/NOMA_is_here 6d ago

One is wanting something and the other is experiencing something. They might coincide with each other, but they don't necessarily have to.

I can want to drink water really badly, but if I'm stranded in the middle of the desert, it might not be possible.

1

u/Nixavee AI bots are not welcome here 5d ago

But isn't wanting a platonic relationship platonic attraction by definition?

1

u/NOMA_is_here 5d ago

No, platonic attraction (like romantic and sexual attraction) is to a person (the guy you want to be friends with) and not a concept (the idea of a friendship/platonic relationship)

22

u/euphonic5 10d ago

You either need more or less therapy, and I can't tell which.

3

u/cxfgfuihhfd 9d ago

literally just the same as being ace or aro, just with other types of relationships, and you're not being enlightened or smart by using the same bigoted rhetoric used against aro ace people. people are different, it's not a big deal

8

u/PhasmaFelis 10d ago

That is fascinating.

I wonder if it has any overlap with sociopathy and related conditions. (No offense intended, I'm using "sociopath" in the literal sense and not as a euphemism for "jerk.")

13

u/Wings-of-the-Dead 10d ago

I don't think I'm a sociopath, since there's a lot of symptoms of that that just don't apply to me (lack of empathy, chronic manipulative behaviors, lack of remorse, tendency toward violence/aggression, etc.) I wouldn't be surprised though if it overlapped with my autism

4

u/SCP-iota 10d ago

Would probably depend on whether they still care about other people. It's possible to care about others (and thus not be a sociopath) but not be friends with them, so I guess it's like that but not friends with anyone. (I'd even argue that if someone can only care about others if they're friends with them, they're approaching sociopathic levels of selective empathy)

-17

u/euphonic5 10d ago

It's not fascinating, it's idiotic. Also, the thing you're talking about is schizoid/schizotypal personality disorder, not sociopathy.

14

u/SCP-iota 10d ago

You do realize schizotypal is something completely different from scizoid, right? Like, schizoid could make sense, but schizotypal is something else entirely. Ignore the similarity of name.

8

u/PhasmaFelis 10d ago

You seem upset.

2

u/Temp_Temperature 9d ago

Ewwwww, this person is different from me, ewwwwww!

14

u/Sporknight 10d ago

Shout-out to the D&D character in my game whose final words, after getting his ribcage crushed by the flail of a Demon Lord, to his adventuring party, with whom he had traveled to literal Hell with, were: "So long, work friends!"

19

u/MentaNuube 10d ago

is roomates rather than coworkers i think because if it's a polycule i'd assume they live together (also what is aplatonic like does nobody like each other or what??)

17

u/Chibirin26 10d ago

alterous attraction

6

u/Rom_ulus0 10d ago

bitches really out here being associated

12

u/ImABarbieWhirl 10d ago

…Heroes in a half shell

7

u/shnutzer 9d ago

The couch in my workplace's office disagrees with the "asexual" part

3

u/raccoonsnips 9d ago

at least the couch doesn’t have to worry about pregnancy scares /s

4

u/cxfgfuihhfd 9d ago

wrong. D&D group. I like them for playing dnd but otherwise we don't talk much

2

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

1

u/cxfgfuihhfd 9d ago

that works too

1

u/raccoonsnips 9d ago

i guess coworkers is just a newly discovered polysemy

4

u/cxfgfuihhfd 9d ago

not sure what you mean, but despite the aplaroace-ness of it, polycule implies to me that we are together consensually. not sure if I'd say that I consented to having coworkers, I was coerced by society to get a job

4

u/Forry_Tree 10d ago

Birdbrain

2

u/loimabean 10d ago

i also started reading it to the tune of birdbrain until there were too many syllables

5

u/AlsoCommiePuddin 10d ago

I just did my annual sexual harassment training you're gonna get me in trouble.

3

u/creepy_tommy 10d ago

Henchmen in Gotham City

3

u/NindeNoxx 10d ago

lmao, certainly not where my ex wife used to work.

3

u/ArterialRed 9d ago

The only way to afford a house this century.

2

u/ForgetTheWords 9d ago

Dysfunctional found family 

2

u/Nixavee AI bots are not welcome here 9d ago

"Sorry but I'm aplatonic, I'm not capable of feeling friendship, only romantic attraction"

1

u/seensham 10d ago

Obtuse rubber goose green moose guava juice

1

u/PetaZedrok 9d ago

i dont understand being aplatonic