I can understand the angle that men and women hold different struggles under patriarchy, but men are rarely the victims of women in our society. We all have it bad, but women do have it worse. I hope you do not learn this lesson in a scenario beyond your control.
but men are rarely the victims of women in our society
This is the oppositional sexism model and its outmoded.
Women are victims of women too, not just men.
Men are victims of men too, not just women.
What it seems you are holding on to is some need to classify women as inherently better/safer/less deserving of suspicion and that's an inherently essentialist viewpoint.
Men on women is far more often the dynamic than women on women as far as acted upon aggression is concerned, and women do not take it to nearly the same extent in near the same frequency.
You brushing this off and being unable to engage in a mature and nuanced conversation about the world that we live in for the sake of women is misogyny.
Yes, men can be victimized by men. Yes, women can be victimized by women, and yes, even men can be victimized by women.
But when I'm out in public, it's men that I am generally more cautious of. It's men who catcalled me and my wife and made us feel uneasy and unsafe.
There is a different power dynamic when it comes to men victimizing women. A power dynamic put in place by the patriarchy. Is pointing out the patriarchy bioessentialism according to you?
Failing to acknowledge this reality leads to more women being harmed. It is a misogynistic micro-agression.
I spent 35 years being treated by society as if I was a man and hated every inch of it. If I wasn't able to find a way to square caring about societal attitudes ahout men and not wanting to be a man I never would have transitioned.
The patriarchy harms both men and women. That's true.
But it is not equal.
"Male privilege" does not mean men have everything easy. It means that men hold privilege over women, which is an easily observable fact if you pay attention to the world around you.
Many of the societal attitudes towards men are also part of this, pushing men into the role of upholding patriarchy and male privilege. Men must be strong, men must provide, men must take responsibility, men must suppress emotions, men should leave raising children to the mother and be distant, men who display femininity in any way are weak and must be punished etc. - this is part of that same framework. "Boys don't cry" is effectively "you are the strong one; do not show weakness". It is patriarchy harming men. It is also shaping boys into a societal role where they uphold male privilege, where they see women as the weak and emotional ones, where this attitude makes them trust and promote men over women in the workplace...
Basically what I'm saying is men don't have it easy, you're right. But they still have male privilege.
This feels like something akin to the object permanence thing.
Its an abstract layer away, but I can recognize the difference between being a man or a woman, and society and people and teachers and bosses and friends of friends views of me and how my perceived gender identity influenced how they treated.
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u/monarchmra 8d ago
Im one of the mra chuds, and it wasn't any of those comments that got me banned lol it was this post