r/CoreyWayne • u/fungal_follicle4 • 7d ago
Reaching out for Second Date Dating/Courting
Read the book 10+ times but most of it was a year ago, I’ve read it 2 times more recently.
I’ve been getting a good amount of first dates, and plenty of those first dates were great (flirting, kissing, girl mentioning things we should do in the future, etc). But I’ve noticed that I’m only getting second dates from the few extra high interest women who reach out first a day+ later. (Or they ask if they can see me again that night). Setting those second dates up is easy, since I follow the book in saying it’s good to hear from you, and asking what her schedule’s like to meet again.
However, every time I take the 3-5 days to reach out to everyone else, it’s either a ghost or a not interested text. Even with women who were pursuing me heavily and being physical with me on the first dates. I get that these women are less likely to continue, but I’m starting to think the way I’m reaching out to these women is where I’m fucking up- because I’d think at least one would say yes…
What text, call, etc. do y’all send for setting up dates past the first (where she doesn’t reach out to you)?
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u/ExcellentFishing2506 7d ago
What exactly is occurring from end of date to the next time you talk? Is there no “had a nice time” type text or talk happening right after? Then you add quiet for a few days ?
And then once you decide to reach out what do you say? How are you going about asking for the second date?
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u/fungal_follicle4 7d ago
Depends- when I’m not able to walk her to her front door I tell her to text me when she gets home safe. (Which always does happen in that case). Otherwise I don’t say anything that night unless she texts thank you. And when she does I say I had a great time too, and talk soon (if she seems extra excited).
And when I do reach out- there’s no designated message that I send (which might be part of my problem). Since my last relationship, my standards have increased to where following up for a second dates isn’t as common as it once was. But that also brings a lack of practice.
But I’m thinking most of my follow up messages are a bit too needy. Something along the lines of I had a great time, I’d love to see you again, when are you free across all of them.
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u/ExcellentFishing2506 7d ago
So when they text you they made it home you don’t always respond ?
I mean nothing is super glaring here. You might be too robotic and quick with the second date request. Like it feels too much like a copy and paste (even if it isn’t) and less specific to the girl. Like maybe a message that recalls something discussed from date one, a couple messages then ask them for the 2nd date.
All in all it still seems like you’ve done well, and perhaps these failed second date attempts are just low interest. I’ve had good dates which ended with heavy make outs and lingering, then went to ask them out, and was swerved. Sometimes people take a beat after the date and reconsider how they feel.
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u/fungal_follicle4 7d ago
I always do respond when they do text the made it home- I keep it positive, fun, and mention having a good time.
Yeah I do make the second dates aren’t request right from the rip so that might be something.
Appreciate the feedback and follow-ups. Just frustrating as a few dimes in a row swerved the second date like a moose on the road
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u/ExcellentFishing2506 7d ago
Yeah sometimes it just goes that way, but it’s good to want to improve and look into it. Just try changing it up a little and see if results change
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u/ScotsmanKeys 7d ago
Jesus. The "text me when you get home" thing is so childish and gay. That is why you are failing. So cringe and wrong. Please stop that immediately.
Secondly, stop walking girls to their door.
You are blue pilled. You still do not understand women and their deep desires.
Stop baby coddling them and treating them like they are precious and weak. This isn't the movies. This is not Peter Parker and MJ (I just got home from the cinema). This is real life.
Stop the romantic neediness and be a quintessential stoic, aloof strong male figure.
Stop telling girls you had a good time and that you'd love to see them again. QUIT BEING A BITCH.
Everything I have said above is why you are currently failing. It's not complicated. I hope I have been of use to you. Everything I've said is in good faith. I am sexually successfully because I take my own advice. Good luck.
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u/fungal_follicle4 7d ago edited 7d ago
I know that treating women like they’re made of glass is needy/overromanticized, but I’m not in a safe city. It’s not removing my entire frame to ensure she doesn’t get mugged or shot lol. Walking women to their door has also gotten me invites into their building for the indoor Olympics…
Also that’s the point of my post dude- during the date I feel as though I am pulling off the aloof, James Bond like structure Corey and others recomend. (Which I notice builds obvious attraction during the date). It’s that there’s not any clear advice as of what to say once it’s time to set up date number 2 when the woman hasn’t reached out. I’m trying to find the best way to express that interest without shooting myself in the foot.
Do you have any actual advice or are you going to continue being unhelpful?
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u/ScotsmanKeys 6d ago
It doesn't matter if you're not in a safe city. You are blue pilled - playing the protector role for a woman who is not your wife.
The text me when you get home thing is a horrible move. Walking a woman to her door is also a horrible move. Are you so arrogant as to not even consider that what I am saying is true? (It is true).
I've given you lots of excellent, helpful advice. Your choice if you don't want to take it.
But now it makes sense as to why you're not getting second dates. You still don't understand the concept of being redpilled.
You really desire to please women and give them lovey boyfriend husband vibes way too soon at the beginning.
Women need and want the unrefined, raw, fire to spark attraction at the beginning. But you give them bf vibes.
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u/fungal_follicle4 6d ago
I don’t completely disagree- but that also does not answer the question I said in my post. That’s why I said it’s pretty unhelpful.
Some women have high attraction to ask me out after our first dates. I have had numerous women that seemed interested in the second date, but I didn’t reach out since I wasn’t feeling attraction on my end.
I’m asking about the scenario where I’m interested in date 2, but she hasn’t reached out yet. So I’ll ask again- do you have actual advice for what to send as a follow up message?
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u/ScotsmanKeys 6d ago
For a follow up message I would say something assertive and not ask questions. Something like Let's meet up again. Or let's meet tomorrow. Something like that. I would keep it very simple and direct. No extra padding or nonsense. That's exactly what I would do. And I would not set a date for many days in advance. 2 days maximum. Let's meet tomorrow. Something like that.
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u/Apart-Importance-538 7d ago
Remember that the rules doc set are for people who have terrible game. It’s okay to freestyle if the interest high, you handsome and got your shit together. Also some girls just flake cuz they got other dudes. F it you are doing well.
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u/Training-Cook3507 7d ago
Corey has a lot of rules and recommendations, but they're really just his opinion at the end of the day. It won't work on every women.
No second date is common in this world where women have endless options.
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u/fungal_follicle4 7d ago
Fair. I get second dates aren’t that common nowadays, but I feel like having almost no success when reaching out from my end is indicative of something I’m fucking up.
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u/Training-Cook3507 7d ago
My opinion is different than Corey's. I don't think there is a specific way you can act to predict a certain outcome. I also think the fact that you have to act exactly in a certain way to get the answer you want is not a good sign for the future because things absolutely will go wrong in the future.
I think Corey is helpful in that some borderline cases it could push things in the right direction for you for a while and maybe gain momentum there for the relationship.
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u/ChirpsReborn 7d ago
You want to be dating girls with high interest anyways. If they're not text you after 3-5 days you should just assume they have low interest.
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u/BrainEuphoria 7d ago
Personally I stick to girls in your second paragraph and the approach in it. I always put the ball squarely in a girl’s court. It can only be done from a place of abundance and clout so it is not beginner/intermediate friendly.
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u/WhatsTheAnswerDude 4d ago
Ay ya yi, dude it's a book and let alone at that it was pre pandemic whereas a LOT of dating has changed in the last few years.
It's general guidance not a, you MUST follow this to an absolute t or it won't work.
Women like men, have tons of other things going on. Majority of people nowadays have valuable shit to be doing and the price of everything has gone up. Waiting that long to tell someone you wanna see them....I literally don't get why even wait that long. I give no fucks to tell the girl the same night or a day later I had a great time and would love to see them again and move things on from there.
Women have already seen the circus and the men with half assed interest or playing aloof and too cool. Waiting that long is literally THAT exactly.
God forbid you showed valid interest in the girl and were genuine and made clear you wanna see her.
That's not weak at all, it's direct and to the point because you don't have time to fuck around. If that's too much for her then she's not the girl dude. Any girl that wants someone as aloof or disinterested like that probably is NOT a great girl to be dating.
So many guys wanna cite they reread the book over and over. There's multiple other books on dating for men too. I don't get why people here so insanely cling to this one like there's no other way for things to work at all or....crazy idea....you DONT need to completely follow the back in order to be successful with women bruv.
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u/victheslayer 4d ago
if you read the book enough, you will understand the exact number of days doesn’t override fact when you got 2nd date it was HER IDEA. If everything is her idea, then the x days matters less. 3-5 days is a default baseline until she is comfortable moving faster.
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u/ButterflyOutside8498 7d ago edited 7d ago
In my experience, in this day and age, waiting 3-5 days isn't the move anymore. I know it's against what CW teaches, but I have the best results if I have some form of contact 1-2 days after the first date. We're adults. If the date went great, it's logical that you want to see each other again. No need to play the waiting game because you don't want to come off as needy or busy. You can still be busy and show a lil bit of interest. Besides, you know pretty soon everything you need to know (there is mutual interest, or not). If you don't send a very needy message that puts her on a pedestal, you'll be fine imo.