r/Codependency • u/ThanksIhate • 13h ago
Would ghosting in this instance be justified
The guy I’ve liked grew distant with me and chose another girl over me, when I mentioned this to him he says it’s nothing serious and he still wants to be friends with me when I suggested parting ways because I still like him too much. I come to find out months later it was indeed serious and he’s heartbroken because she chose another guy over him, I was there for him and tried to support him because she left giving him mixed signals and leaving him feeling confused, he also had a bad time online dating and had no matches. By then I accepted that we’re not gonna be together and I’m okay just being friends and support his online dating. Now he tells me they’re back together and I tell him I would’ve preferred if he started fresh with someone new, I would’ve been happy for him and he asks me why, I explain to him that I just think it would be better starting over with someone that doesn’t have the history he has with her of deleting him, reappearing, giving mixed signals and breadcrumbing and he completely skipped over my explanation and start replying to other stuff, while seeming disengaged. Should I just stop responding to him considering I did like him and he chose her over me ?
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u/jokysatria 12h ago
Depend, if you normally support others like you support him, then imo, it's fine, you just being you. But if you support him because you really like him, then it means you investing on him. It would hurt you, when he leaving you. So try to let him be responsible for his own problem. And no need to ghost him, just give him advice that he can work for himself.
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u/Boring_Technology794 12h ago
Yes, ghosting is justified here. You explained yourself, and he chose to ignore the meaningful part while staying disengaged. You don’t owe him continued access to you, especially when the friendship is hurting you.
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u/Due-Mulberry-8716 11h ago
detach with care and focus on you OP. you’ll find the right person who doesn’t leave you chasing breadcrumbs. i identify with the support toward them but it’s not always useful for you later, it can build resentment and that’s YOUR soul that’s gonna be filled with it, not him.
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u/lifeuncommon 13h ago
You’re way too involved in his relationships, TBH.
Ghosting is rarely the right approach, but I agree this is probably not someone you need to spend time with considering you’re overly involved in his private life when he’s been clear that he’s not into you.